The library was in a state of chaos and busyness, and A-Hao had no interest in working there, so she readily agreed and followed Zhang Xin. Xue Liangyue's sudden actions had finally won her over.
...
The little princess's so-called urgent matter didn't seem to be that urgent. Xia Mingzhe had been injured because of her, and she felt bad about it, wanting to make it up to him and express her apologies.
At first, Zhang Xin thought of picking out something suitable from the storeroom, such as rare calligraphy books, thinking he would like it, but nothing seemed to suit his taste. The nanny suggested that giving him some small embroidered or woven items would also be nice, which put Zhang Xin in a dilemma.
Her needlework skills were mediocre; she could barely embroider a handkerchief, a purse, or a sachet, and she was too embarrassed to give them away, especially since she thought such things should be given to someone she liked. Frustrated and at her wits' end, she finally decided to ask for help and approached Ah Hao.
After listening to Zhang Xin's troubles, Ahao thought about it carefully for her, and then asked, "What does Your Highness think about weaving two sword tassels?" She added, "It's not a very private item, Your Highness is sure to be able to make it, and the recipient will be able to use it."
Zhang Xin thought it was great as soon as she heard it, and was secretly pleased that she had found the right person. She happily made a deal with Ahao and asked her to teach her how to make sword tassels.
·
The palace maid Qing'er died. It was recorded in the register that she committed suicide by hanging, and that was considered an explanation for the matter. Since she had family outside the palace and was not punished for any wrongdoing, Qing'er's family was informed and waited outside the palace gate the next day to take her back for a proper burial.
Ah Hao couldn't sleep at night, constantly thinking about Qing'er. She remembered Qing'er telling her she wouldn't do anything rash, and that her family was waiting for her outside the palace. When she finally woke up, she decided to go see Qing'er's family, feeling guilty and wanting to give them some financial assistance.
Knowing the palace rules, Ahao followed the palace servants transporting Qing'er's body to the palace gate with her belongings. Qing'er's family had been waiting outside for a long time, and when they saw them, they practically rushed over. Qing'er, who was not yet fifteen years old, lay quietly on the cart, covered only by a rolled-up straw mat.
The whole family was probably there. The man and woman with gray hair and weathered faces were probably the parents. The middle-aged man with dark skin and a weathered appearance was probably the elder brother. Two thin, half-grown children were being led and carried by a middle-aged woman, and there was also a yellow-skinned little girl around ten years old with her hair in two buns.
Their clothes looked worn and rough, clearly indicating that they didn't live an easy life. Qing'er's death must have been a huge blow to this family. They rushed over, surrounded the cart, and wailed, deeply grieving for Qing'er's sudden departure.
The eunuch in charge of bringing Qing'er's body out seemed unfazed, stepping forward to offer a few words of comfort and telling them to accept their grief. Among Qing'er's belongings were some valuables, and with the palace providing five taels of silver as a token of condolence, the eunuch handed the items to Qing'er's parents. The two elderly people, wiping away tears, tremblingly accepted the gifts.
Taking advantage of this moment, Ah Hao went over and took out two gold hairpins and a silver ingot that she had prepared. She said to them, "I didn't expect Qing'er to leave so suddenly. It's both a pity and sad. This is a small token of my appreciation. Please accept it, old lady. Don't be too sad and take good care of yourself."
These items were far more valuable than what the eunuch had given them. Qing'er was just a lowly palace maid, and the amount she could contribute to her family was very limited. It could be said that this family had probably never seen so many valuable things in their lives, and most importantly, these were for them.
They were already overjoyed to have received five taels of silver, but who would have thought that so much more would appear in such a short time? Qing'er's parents and the rest of her family were all stunned. Everyone forgot to cry and stared intently at what A-Hao was holding.
After a moment of stunned silence, Qing'er's mother practically snatched the item from A-Hao's hands, as if afraid A-Hao might suddenly change her mind, even though she kept saying, "Oh my, this girl is truly a living Bodhisattva!" Then she handed the item to her husband beside her for a closer look. The two huddled together, and Qing'er's mother bit the gold hairpin, her eyes suddenly shining, and her whole being seemed to come alive.
"It's true, it's true! My dear husband, we're rich! That little hussy Qing'er died for nothing!" She tried her best to suppress her excitement, but she still couldn't hide her joy and agitation. She thought she was lowering her voice, but in fact, everyone nearby could hear her clearly.
Her husband immediately slapped her hard and gestured towards Ah Hao's direction. Realizing she had misspoke, she immediately fell silent but stuffed the things into the middle-aged man's arms and pushed him back.
After doing all that, she finally turned to Ah Hao with a smile and said, "Girl, you're so beautiful and kind-hearted. You're sure to be rewarded in the future!"
Ah Hao was equally stunned. She watched as Qing'er's older brother carefully stuffed the things into his arms and pressed them down, pushing away the little girl who wanted to take a second look and the child who rushed towards him from the middle-aged woman's arms. Her anger had already washed away all her previous thoughts.
Suppressing the urge to curse that was about to erupt, Ah Hao, who couldn't afford to cause trouble at the palace gate and couldn't stay a moment longer, had no choice but to turn and leave. Her resentment was hard to quell, and she felt even more sorry for Qing'er. Was this the kind of family that had made Qing'er so determined to say those words?
They weren't saddened by Qing'er's death; they were only afraid that with her gone, they would gain nothing more. But since they had already benefited, they felt her death was worthwhile and were quite pleased. Those who had been wailing and weeping just moments before now wore expressions of joy, their former sorrow completely gone.
Ah Hao, however, didn't know if she had done something wrong. If she hadn't saved Qing'er yesterday and had pretended not to know anything, perhaps Qing'er wouldn't have died. If she hadn't taken it upon herself to subsidize her family, perhaps…
She thought she was helping Qing'er, but in reality, she indirectly caused her death. Wasn't she too arrogant? Despite her meager strength, she always thought she could help others. But did others really need her so-called help?
Amidst her anger, Ah Hao felt a wavering resolve and an overwhelming sense of frustration, a frustration she had never felt before. She thought of Xu Shi and longed to see her mother immediately, for no other reason than wanting to go home.
Ahao was absent-minded and aimlessly walked briskly along the wall, when she bumped into someone. She felt the solid chest of the other person and her forehead throbbed. Ahao looked up blankly and saw Zhang Yu's probing gaze.
Zhang Yu asked her, "What's wrong?"
So, Ah-hao also started to wonder, what's wrong with me...?
Chapter 36 Appeasement
Zhang Yu had just finished the morning court session and was on his way to Changning Palace to pay his respects to Empress Dowager Feng when he saw Song Shuhao looking dejected. He went over to stop her. Unexpectedly, she seemed oblivious to her surroundings and bumped right into him. Her eyes were filled with confusion; clearly, something had happened.
Ah Hao was stunned, her mind not quite processing the question. In the past, whenever she heard such a question, she would always say the same thing: "It's nothing." So even though she hadn't fully recovered, she subconsciously answered the same thing, while Zhang Yu's question was still swirling in her mind.
She couldn't say for sure that saving Qing'er was the right thing to do. She was happy when she heard Qing'er say those things. At the time, she thought the girl was very brave and strong. Even though Eunuch Li had violated her, she hadn't despised herself because of it—that was rare.
She thought that after dealing with Eunuch Li who had bullied her, and keeping the matter a secret, Qing'er still died. But could she say that Qing'er's death had nothing to do with her? She dared not say it, she dared not say it, Ah Hao thought to herself, she couldn't shake off the connection.
But why were Qing'er's family members, who supported her courage and strength back then, like this...? She had always thought that Qing'er's family, whether they lived in poverty or wealth, would surely love her. So naive, so childish... or perhaps just stubbornly clinging to delusion?
Ah-Hao even wanted to ask, is it really that important? Is reputation truly more precious than life itself? Why is it that everyone who is hurt has to pay such a heavy price...?
Seeing her dazed and confused, Zhang Yu couldn't just leave her there. Lü Yuan and Lü Chuan led the others to a distance, while he and Ahao remained standing at the base of the crimson wall, talking. Seeing that Ahao hadn't recovered, Zhang Yu asked her again before she calmed down a bit.
Suddenly, Ah Hao realized why she wanted to see her mother so much... But she lowered her eyes, staring at the brocade clogs with the peony pattern on her feet, and said to Zhang Yu, "Your Majesty, Qing'er is gone." Ah Hao thought that someone as decisive as him could surely tell her whether she was right or wrong.
Zhang Yu knew about Qing'er's situation; Song Shuhao had told him about it when he visited the Yuanshu Pavilion that day. Now, hearing Shuhao's words, he understood many things. However, seeing her strong reaction, it couldn't simply be because of the palace maid's accident. Zhang Yu thought further and remembered Madam Xu.
Her mother had gone mad after being assaulted, and her father had lost his life because of it. She had been forced to enter the palace and face everything alone ever since… Zhang Yu recalled the look on Ah Hao's face when she told him about the palace maid's promise to live well; the hopeful look in her eyes then had now dimmed. For her, this was truly different.
Zhang Yu pondered for a moment and asked Ahao, "Do you think it has anything to do with you?" Ahao nodded and whispered, "This servant may have harmed her."
Ah Hao first heard Zhang Yu chuckle, and then heard him say, "You advised her earlier that there was no need to punish herself for other people's mistakes, so why don't you understand now?" Ah Hao couldn't help but raise her head and look at Zhang Yu again.
Almost jolted awake by a single sentence, Ah Hao stared at him, her mouth slightly agape in surprise. At that moment, Zhang Yu's palm landed on her head, gently stroking the top of her hair.
Zhang Yu looked down at Ahao and said, "She didn't get into trouble because her reputation was damaged, and besides, you've already done a very good job." His tone was gentle.
Their eyes met, and Zhang Yu's gaze conveyed absolute certainty to Ahao. Zhang Yu felt that Ahao must care a lot about this issue right now. What she had said to Qing'er was enough to show her thoughts.
Zhang Yu also felt that A-Hao's idea was not wrong. Although the world is not so clearly divided into good and evil, and is never black and white, but... he didn't think so before, but now that he saw Song Shuhao, he thought that it was actually quite good to have someone who insisted on such things.
Zhang Yu's words and actions calmed A-Hao's agitated emotions. Zhang Yu withdrew his hand and said, "Why don't you worry about yourself first, but you still have the mood to worry about this?" His tone had returned to normal.
Realizing what she had done, Ah Hao felt a little embarrassed facing Zhang Yu again. She quickly shook her head and said, "This servant will be more careful." After hesitating for a moment, she still said to Zhang Yu, "Thank you, Your Majesty."
Zhang Yu barely nodded, but said nothing more.