Третий учёный династии Сун - Глава 38
"You...don't cry...if you cry...it will hurt me so much...listen...Mother is...calling me..." Qin Yu's eyes began to blur, looking behind Lin Suyang, but her face was as beautiful as a flower, as if she was about to return to her radiant self.
Her breath grew weaker, and suddenly, gripping Lin Suyang's hand tightly, she mustered her last breath to utter a single sentence before collapsing. Lin Suyang forgot to cry, released her grip, and let Qin Yu's gradually cooling body slide out of her arms. The setting sun, emitting a crimson light, hung on the horizon, and the connecting sand lines drifted and sighed in silence.
She heard her say, "I've really fallen in love with you."
In a daze, she was transported back to that rainy night, to the pitch-black cave with only a single firelight. She cried and hugged him, saying, "What should I do? I've really fallen in love with him."
Lin Suyang knew. She had always known. But, in her eyes, Qin Yu's love was a solace for loneliness, or perhaps a sublimation of familial affection. She had never considered that her feelings for him weren't just those of family, or friends, but those of a lover—the kind of love Si Junxing felt.
Lin Suyang's heart trembled. Not from anger. Not from shame and embarrassment. But from guilt. Endless guilt. If she hadn't been so arrogant as to think that marrying Qin Yu would give her freedom. If she hadn't selfishly put her own needs first and ignored Qin Yu's feelings, would things have turned out differently?
If she hadn't been so willful and playful, they would never have met. And would none of this have happened? No prince consort. No tutor. No Han Yufeng and Qin Hao. No Qin Ke. No Si Junxing. No one would have been so deeply entangled with anyone else. No one would have caused anyone heartbreak or despair. None of this would have occurred.
So, it all came down to her own fault. She was wrong to think that having memories of two lifetimes made her arrogant and conceited. She was wrong to believe that she could control everything simply by being indifferent and a quiet observer of the world. She was wrong for being so naive, for never understanding or even looking into people's hearts.
Lin Suyang knelt on the ground. Trembling, he reached out his hand, still warm from Qin Yu's blood, to touch her face. A cold, painful farewell.
"I'm sorry..." She couldn't remember how many people she had said sorry to. In her memory, these three words were the most she had uttered, and the most painful. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Did you hear me? No, you can't hear me anymore. If there is an afterlife, please don't meet me again. Whether you are male or female, please don't meet me. That way, I won't hurt you anymore. Qin Yu, do you remember...?
When Lin Ziyan and Qin Hao arrived with the doctor, they found Lin Suyang lying on the ground covered in blood, while Qin Yu had already stopped breathing due to excessive blood loss. At that moment, the bright sky seemed to lose its color, turning pale and silent. It was in this state of sky that Qin Hao made a solemn vow: one day, he would make Yan and Liao pay for their blood debt, even if it meant mountains of corpses and rivers of blood!
This time, Lin Suyang did not fall into a coma as before, but completely lost his mind, like a shell with only weak breathing, without thoughts, without feelings, and even without the desire to live.
"You mean she doesn't want to wake up?" Qin Hao asked, looking at the doctor who kept shaking his head.
"Yes, Madam has suffered a great blow, both physically and mentally. She already had pent-up emotions and her mood was extremely unstable. If she doesn't wake up in ten days, I'm afraid it will be difficult for her to get through this difficult time."
"What do you mean?" Lin Ziyan grabbed the doctor's collar impulsively and roared, "What do you mean by 'it's going to be very difficult to get through this'? If you keep talking nonsense, I'll throw you in jail, you quack doctor, you quack doctor!"
"Stop!" Qin Hao pulled Lin Ziyan away and said to the trembling doctor, "Doctor, how can we get her to 'willingly' wake up?"
The doctor wiped the sweat from his forehead, swallowed hard, and said, "I don't know either. A mental illness requires a mental cure. Although the lady is unconscious, she can still sense things. If you patiently persuade her, she might wake up once she relaxes."
After seeing the doctor off, Qin Hao said to Lin Ziyan expressionlessly, "Commander Lin, remember your place. Now that the vassal states are attacking, as a subject you should do your best to protect the territory of our Great Yang. How can you let a personal matter throw you into such a state of confusion? How can you face the people of Great Yang?"
Lin Ziyan was stunned for a moment, then hid the anxiety on his face and knelt down before Qin Hao: "Your Majesty, she is my brother, and I cannot disregard her life or death."
"Brother?" Qin Hao sneered, "Didn't you hear what that doctor called her just now?"
Madam? Lin Ziyan looked up abruptly, puzzled as he stared at the king before him. He knew Lin Suyang was indeed a woman, but the doctor had addressed her as "Madam" every time he spoke. Even if the doctor could tell that Lin Suyang was a woman, he should have called her "Miss."
Qin Hao looked down at Lin Ziyan and said in a low voice, "From now on, Lin Suyang is my wife, the future Empress of Da Yang, so you don't need to worry, I will definitely make sure she is safe and sound."
As if a thunderbolt had struck across the clear sky, dragging Lin Ziyan into an abyss. He stared at Qin Hao in disbelief, his lips trembling for a long time before he murmured, "Your Majesty..." Both of them knew who Lin Suyang loved. What did Qin Hao mean by doing this?
"I know what you're thinking, but I won't give you a reason. Just believe me that I will never let her suffer in the slightest. You don't need to say anything more. Also, don't tell anyone about the princess. I have my own arrangements. Two days from now, regardless of whether Grand Tutor Lin wakes up or not, I will take her back to Yundu. I'll leave things here to you and Ninth Imperial Uncle." Without any room for discussion, Qin Hao forcefully separated Lin Ziyan, not allowing him any objection.
Lin Ziyan glanced painfully at Lin Suyang on the bed, a mix of confusion, bewilderment, and reluctance welling up inside him, which ultimately coalesced into a few trembling words: "Your subject obeys the decree." Then, without looking back, he got up and left.
Qin Hao slowly walked to Lin Suyang's bedside, gently brushed aside the messy hair on her forehead, and lightly stroked her eyebrows, eyes, and lips with his fingertips. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Do you think I can't do anything to you if you don't wake up? Lin Suyang, whether you live or die, you are mine. You don't want to wake up, is that it? I will still keep you by my side. I want to see if you can really abandon your family and your Si Junxing. Yu'er has already left me. Now only you and the child are my closest people. If you really don't wake up, I will make everyone pay with their lives!"
Lin Suyang was exhausted, truly exhausted. She didn't want to think about anything, feeling as if she were sinking to the bottom of an abyss, surrounded by endless darkness, unable to see or hear. "Just sleep," she thought. "No need to go anywhere. Since living brings so much pain, why not leave now, let go?"
Her soul floated in the air, lost and without a landing point. She smiled and closed her eyes, quietly awaiting her annihilation. "If you don't wake up, I will make everyone pay with their lives!" Who spoke? Who was it? Si Junxing, but who was he? Her head ached, her heart ached, her whole body ached as if it would crumble at the slightest touch. After the pain subsided, nothing remained. Finally, she found release…
Volume Four, Palace Absolute, Chapter Ninety-One: Forgetting the Past (Part Two)
Si Junxing was imprisoned. No matter how cautious he had always been, he was thrown off balance by Lin Suyang. He and Kong Ling were surrounded as soon as they entered the territory of the vassal state. Although he had recovered his martial arts skills, he was outnumbered and held out for a long time. Finally, he was too exhausted to move and stopped. Immediately, several spears were thrust into his throat. He thought he was about to be tied up, but instead, they politely invited him away.
Si Junxing sat indifferently in the hall waiting. Soon, someone rushed in from outside. Upon seeing the person, he recognized him as a tall, thin old man. As soon as the old man saw Si Junxing, he immediately bowed and said, "This humble official, Wei Liang, greets Your Highness the Eighth Prince."
Just moments ago they were at each other's throats, but now he's all respectful. This man is truly two-faced. But right now, the most important thing is to find out where Lin Suyang and the others are. After thinking it over, he figured that only by admitting his identity could he successfully rescue them. So he asked calmly, "Where are Lin Suyang and Qin Yu?"
“Your Highness, I have already sent men to escort Princess Jingyang of the Great Yang Kingdom back to Hedan. As for Lord Lin,” Wei Liang paused deliberately, and when he saw Si Junxing’s cold and urgent eyes, he frowned. He then continued, “I did not encounter him.”
"What?" Si Junxing looked at him suspiciously. Seeing his calm expression, he hesitated. Could it be that Kong Ling was lying to him? If so, then Lin Suyang was still waiting for him there. Thinking of this, Si Junxing hurriedly got up and was about to walk outside, but Wei Liang stopped him.
"Your Highness need not worry, Lord Lin has been taken back to Hedan by the people of Da Yang."
Si Junxing stared at him and said, "You were following her?"
Wei Liang replied seemingly sincerely, "Your Highness has misunderstood. I was ordered to come to the northwest of Da Yang to find Your Highness. Your Highness has been with Lord Lin the whole time, so I know a little about Lord Lin's whereabouts."
"So, who took her away?"
"I don't know, but I heard from my informant that I saw Lord Lin coming and going from the General's Mansion." Wei Liang lowered his eyes. The people he sent to assassinate Lin Suyang have not been heard from since, and it is very likely that they failed. In that case, Lin Suyang must have returned to the Hedan General's Mansion.
Although he didn't completely believe Wei Liang's story, Si Junxing had no other way to verify it at the moment. He just wanted to leave here as soon as possible to find her. He looked at Wei Liang and asked as calmly as possible, "Tell me, what exactly do you want from all this trouble of getting me here?"
Wei Liang looked up at Si Junxing and said with utmost respect, “Your Highness, Your Highness disappeared without a trace back then. The late Emperor and Empress searched everywhere but could not find Your Highness, so Your Highness wandered away for many years. Now that our sovereign has established a firm foundation, deeply mindful of the wishes of the late Emperor and Empress, he has been sending people to inquire about Your Highness's whereabouts. It was not long before we learned of Your Highness's whereabouts. Our sovereign misses Your Highness very much and wishes for Your Highness to return to your homeland and reunite with your family as soon as possible.”
Reunion? The word felt so foreign to Si Junxing. In his world, he only had two family members: Lin Suyang and her unborn child. When he learned from Si Lian that the ruler of Yanliao was actually his elder brother, he didn't feel happy. It reminded him of his time in the Yanliao palace—the fear and unease. Not because of the darkness, but because Han Yufeng's feelings for Lin Suyang made him feel threatened. But now he wouldn't worry. Lin Suyang was now his wife. His only hope was to spend the rest of his life happily with her, with no one or anything else to disturb them. Family. He already had that. Since they hadn't recognized each other for over twenty years, why not let it continue like this?
Thinking of this, Si Junxing smiled and said to Wei Liang, "Go back and tell him that I'm doing very well and there's nothing to worry about. I've decided to retire. If he has time in the future, he's welcome to come and visit." With that, he walked past Wei Liang toward the door.
Before he even stepped out the door, several soldiers surrounded him and blocked his way. He turned back and asked Wei Liang with a cold smile, "What? You're resorting to force after persuasion fails? It seems my status as the 'Eighth Prince' is truly low."
Wei Liang replied to Si Junxing with a slight apology, "Eighth Prince, you are overthinking it. I am only here on imperial orders to invite Your Highness back. His Majesty only wishes to see Your Highness. If Your Highness still wishes to return to Dayang at that time, His Majesty will certainly not stop you. Please understand the difficulties I face as a subject and accompany me back to Yanliao." He bowed deeply once again.
Si Junxing turned to look at the group of people in front of him. He couldn't help but laugh at himself, "Do I even have a choice?" He paused. He turned back and walked to Wei Liang, saying, "I will go back to Yanliao with you. However, I have one condition..."
Two days later, Lin Suyang still hadn't woken up. Qin Hao, true to his word, found a carriage and took her away from Hedan back to Yundu. Lin Ziyan wanted to stop him, but was stopped by news that the vassal state's army was advancing towards a key town under Hedan's control. Anxious and frustrated, he immediately ordered his troops to meet them in battle. When Si Junxing, disguised, arrived in Hedan with Wei Liang, Lin Suyang had already left. He insisted on following her to make sure she was safe before agreeing to go to Yanliao with Wei Liang. However, Wei Liang said that they had already "invited" Si Lian to return first, leaving Si Junxing to decide for himself. No matter how angry he was, he ultimately left Dayang with Wei Liang.
On this side, Qin Hao stayed by Lin Suyang's side day and night, talking to her whenever he had free time, even though she couldn't hear him. He would tell her stories from his childhood, about him and his mother, and about Emperor Shun of the Great Yang Dynasty, who deeply loved his mother. When he talked about happy parts, he would hold Lin Suyang's hand and laugh; when he recalled sad things, he would lean against her and tremble slightly. Sometimes he would press his ear against her lower abdomen to listen to the faint heartbeat of his child.
It's truly amazing that Lin Suyang is unconscious while the child in her womb is still alive. Is it a destined entanglement, or a deliberate coincidence by the Nine Lotus Ice?
“We’ll arrive in Yundu tomorrow. When will you wake up? I still want to see you and Yu’er together, so happy. But Yu’er has left me like this, and I’ve never given her what she wanted. Why is God so cruel? He took away my father and mother, and my dearest sister is gone too. Now, are you and the child going to leave me as well? Su Yang, please wake up. I’ll give you anything you want, no matter what…”
"Su Yang, I can hear our child's heartbeat again, thump, thump, thump, so strong. I think he will definitely become a great emperor in the future, and his name will be remembered for generations. Promise me, you will all be well."
"Child, can you hear your father speaking? Your father is right beside you and will always be by your side, because your father loves you very much, loves your mother very much, truly loves her."...
In just a few days, this usually ruthless and rigid monarch had become utterly haggard. He insisted on holding Lin Suyang's hand tightly, as if only in this way could he feel her presence, never letting her leave his side for a moment. The accompanying physicians shook their heads each time they examined her, saying Lin Suyang was beyond saving, but he wouldn't give up. Even if she remained like this forever, he wanted her by his side. Such days would eventually drive this ambitious and cold-blooded emperor to madness.
When Qin Hao wearily lifted his head from beside Lin Suyang's bed again, he was surprised to see a pair of bright eyes staring at him in confusion. He closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them again, he realized he wasn't dreaming. He suddenly hugged the awakened Lin Suyang tightly and said tremblingly, "You...you're really awake."
After a long while, a soft voice came from the shoulder: "Who... are you?"
(P.S.: I haven't been able to update daily due to a lot of things happening in the past month. Please forgive me, but don't worry, this story is coming to an end soon, so please don't give up if you like it...)
Volume Four, Palace Absolute, Chapter Ninety-Two: Forgetting the Past (Part Two)
She asked, "Who are you?"
Qin Hao suddenly let go of her hand and stared at her with wide eyes. He couldn't see any flicker in her eyes, which were as pure as a spring of water without any impurities.
"You...don't you recognize me?" Qin Hao asked softly.
Lin Suyang frowned and thought for a moment, then raised one hand to support his head, looking as if in great pain. "Who... are you?"
Qin Hao stared at her silently, still unsure if she was faking it. Only when he saw her face gradually turn pale did he tenderly pull her close and say, "If you can't remember, then don't think about it. I'll tell you who I am." He pulled her away, staring intently into her eyes, and said, word by word, "Remember, my name is Qin Hao, and I am your husband."
Soon, everyone in the Great Yang knew that their talented son-in-law, Grand Tutor Lin, had been on a tour of the Northwest when he encountered a rebellion in a vassal state. He tragically died in the war between the two countries, and his wife, Princess Jingyang, was heartbroken and ultimately committed suicide by poison at the scholar's residence. Emperor Hong was so grief-stricken by the loss of his sister and brother-in-law that he suspended court for three days and held a state funeral for them with the rites due to imperial relatives. For a time, the streets and alleys of Yundu were filled with the mournful cries of women, all lamenting the untimely death of the eldest son of the Lin family. Many people also deeply admired Princess Jingyang's unwavering devotion.
Inside the Lin residence in Xicheng, a blanket of white mourning clothes added to the somber atmosphere. Lin Cheng, the Minister of Rites, was heartbroken as he mourned the passing of his son. He secluded himself in his study, refusing food and water, his grief surpassing that of others. Only after the encouragement of the old General Xin Min did he gradually recover. However, his personality changed drastically afterward. He would whip his servants at the slightest provocation, and his influence in court became increasingly pronounced. Through impeachments and factionalism, he gained the support of most ministers, reaching a position of almost absolute power, second only to the emperor. But that's a story for later.
Meanwhile, on the Yan-Liao side, Emperor Han Yufeng of the Holy Han Empire was furious upon learning the news. He was extremely angry at the vassal state's unauthorized actions and immediately dispatched a general to lead troops to annihilate it. After confirming that Lin Suyang was already dead, Han Yufeng became even more ruthless and issued an additional military order, commanding the army to exterminate the vassal state to spare no one and vowing to kill every single person in the vassal state without mercy.
Meanwhile, King Qin Ke of Yin and Lin Ziyan, the commander of the Imperial City Guards, who were fighting against the vassal army, also received news from Yundu at the same time. Their grief and indignation turned into burning hatred. The two personally donned their armor and not only defeated the invading vassal army but also pressed forward step by step to counterattack into the vassal state's territory.
The vassal state, which had previously been emboldened by the support of Yan and Liao and dared to invade Dayang, became the target of retaliation from both countries due to Emperor Hong's plan. This resulted in widespread suffering and bloodshed, and within two days, the vassal state, which had dominated a corner of the continent, was caught in a pincer attack by the armies of Yan, Liao, and Dayang, ultimately disappearing completely from history. Afterwards, led by Yan-Liao general Chen Jue and Dayang King Qin Ke, a treaty was signed in the vassal state's capital regarding the division of its territory. The treaty stipulated that the Siliu River, which ran through the center of the vassal state, would be the boundary, with the north belonging to Dayang and the south to Yan and Liao, each country ruling its own territory. This extremely short three-way war thus came to an end.
In the Yan-Liao Kingdom, at the Jixiang Palace, Han Yufeng sat slumped on the dragon throne, staring blankly at the setting sun outside. Wei Liang had been standing in the palace with his head down for several hours, but his master paid him no heed, as if he hadn't seen him at all.
"I don't believe she just left like that." After a long silence, Han Yufeng finally withdrew his gaze and stared coldly at Wei Liang. "Is there something you haven't told me?"
Wei Liang, still with his head bowed, replied, "Your subject dares not."
"Dare not?" Han Yufeng sneered, "I see you're fearless! Just because I value you so much, you no longer obey my orders. Is that it?"
With a thud, Wei Liang knelt down. "Your Majesty, I believe I have done nothing wrong to Yan and Liao, nothing wrong to Your Majesty. Heaven and earth bear witness to my deeds. My heart was solely for Yan and Liao, and for Your Majesty's sake. If Your Majesty believes I have acted improperly, then please grant me death!" His words were filled with unwavering loyalty, yet showed no trace of remorse.
"You..." Han Yufeng slammed his hand on the imperial desk and stood up abruptly. "Do you really think I wouldn't dare kill you?"
"I had no such intention. If Your Majesty commands my death, I will have no complaints."
"You..." Han Yufeng was completely speechless. He knew Wei Liang's loyalty. Back when he was vying for the throne with Han Zu, if it weren't for Wei Liang's help, he probably wouldn't have the world he possessed. Loyal ministers are rare, he knew that, but he couldn't bear the thought of someone he trusted betraying him to hurt the person he loved most, even though he later learned that the plan had failed.
"Very well, from today onwards you shall stay in the manor and shall not step out of Ji'ao without my permission!"
"Your subject obeys the decree," Wei Liang replied calmly.
Han Yufeng waved his hand and said, "Go down. I don't want to see you again."
"Your Majesty," Wei Liang said, raising his head at this moment, "His Highness the Eighth Prince is currently missing. I urge Your Majesty to find him as soon as possible to fulfill the wishes of the late Emperor and Empress."
"I have my own plan for this matter, so there's no need to say more. You may leave."
"yes."
Si Junxing disappeared on his way to Yanliao with Wei Liang, the same day they received news from Yundu. Upon receiving the news, he went berserk, injuring the Yanliao soldiers around him before riding off. Wei Liang and his men searched for days and nights without success and had to rush back to report to Han Yufeng.
Han Yufeng always held a different kind of affection for his younger brother, whom he had never acknowledged. He understood him and tolerated him, solely because of his beloved mother's dying wish: to find his younger brother, Han Yujing, and treat him well, repaying the familial love that his mother and father had never given him. Born into an imperial family, the concept of familial love among ordinary people was undoubtedly ironic, much like his conflict with Han Zu, who fought to the death for the throne. Therefore, he wasn't sure if he could fulfill this wish. However, he had no choice but to agree to his mother's dying wish, no way to refuse.
He liked Lin Suyang. When she came to him for treatment, he was prepared to do everything he could to keep her. However, when he accidentally discovered that Si Junxing was his long-lost younger brother, he struggled with the decision for a long time before finally deciding to withdraw. Whether it was to fulfill his mother's wish or because he knew that Lin Suyang would not accept him, withdrawing meant withdrawing. He also managed to stop pestering Lin Suyang. At least, he knew that the person she liked was his younger brother, and that connection still existed between them.
Since even he doesn't believe Lin Suyang is dead, Si Junxing is even less likely to believe it. Perhaps his men are already in Yundu right now. Hopefully, as they think, Lin Suyang is unharmed, but has been hidden away.
Lin Suyang stood before the bronze mirror, staring at the person reflected within for a long time. Her hair was styled in a high bun, her eyebrows delicately arched like distant mountains; her eyes, her nose, her lips—every feature was exquisitely beautiful. With a slight lift of her eyelids, an alluring charm suddenly arose. She gently raised her slender hand to her cheek, the unmistakable touch causing her to gasp in surprise. "Is this...me?" she murmured, her gaze following the soft curves in the mirror before settling on her slightly protruding belly. "Is this...my child?"
The man who claimed to be her "husband" said her name was Yuan Feng'er. Not long ago, she went up the mountain to pray for her unborn child, but the carriage she was riding in inexplicably malfunctioned, veering into the forest and crashing into a rocky cliff. She was injured in the impact and remained unconscious for many days. When she awoke, she had forgotten everything. According to the doctor, she suffered brain damage leading to amnesia, and there might be a chance of recovery. However, this chance depends on how deeply she remembers her past; otherwise, no matter how hard she tries, she will not recall anything.
She felt something was wrong, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't remember anything from the past. The moment she tried to recall something, her head would ache more than if it were being pricked with needles. The pain wasn't just physical; it came from her heart, as if it were filled with a great deal of sadness, like a deep, overflowing bitter wine that made her both drunk and heartbroken, and brought her to tears.
Gently, someone lifted her chin, and a soft handkerchief touched her face. She opened her watery eyes and looked at him.
"Why are you crying?" Qin Hao said gently, wiping away her tears, then pulled her into his arms, gently stroking her forehead with his chin.
"I... I still can't remember anything from before..." Her voice carried a hint of fear, like a trembling echo of a broken string.
"Silly girl, didn't I tell you not to think about it if you can't remember? Let's live our lives as before. You, me, and our child, we are a family. With family around, what are you worried about?"
Yes, I have a husband and children. It doesn't matter if I don't remember the past, and even if I did, what would be the point? But why do I still feel empty inside? It's as if I've truly forgotten something very important, something very important...
Volume Four, Palace's Absolute Chapter Ninety-Three: It's Like Longing (Part 1)
...Don't worry, to repay Miss Lin's life-saving grace, I've decided to repay her with my body. By the way, my name is Si Junxing, may I ask your name, Miss?...Hurry up and get dressed, be careful not to catch a cold...Let me follow you. At least, until you return to Yundu, let me follow you, okay?...
...
...It seems you'll have to stay here with me for the rest of your life...I'm wondering, what should I do if I call your name and you don't answer?...
...It's okay, I can wait, until the day you truly see me. Until then, please don't push me away, okay?...
She suddenly opened her eyes, and the familiar words that had flooded her senses receded just as quickly. Lin Suyang stared blankly at the light curtains above her, a sharp pain shooting through her body, causing her to involuntarily clench her hands. The person lying beside her seemed to notice her distress, reaching out to take her hand and gently unfolding her tightly clenched fingers. Her small palm was covered with red marks from her newly grown nails.
"What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?" His warm breath tickled her cheek, yet also caused a slight stinging sensation.