Третий учёный династии Сун

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The empress's coronation ceremony was postponed for two months due to Lin Suyang's unexpected premature birth. It is said that during the time she was unconscious after childbirth, Emperor Hong was extremely irritable; many officials were flogged and exiled for minor offenses, not to mention the plight of the imperial physicians who were helpless in treating the empress's condition. Qin Hao's actions sparked widespread speculation throughout the court: what kind of person was this future empress that Emperor Hong valued so highly?

Every day, aside from attending court, Qin Hao would stay in Qingxiang Palace with Lin Suyang and Qin Xiao. Lin Suyang always maintained an indifferent attitude, regardless of whether he was teasing Qin Xiao or speaking to her. She wouldn't open her mouth. Especially at night, Lin Suyang's obvious rejection made Qin Hao realize something was wrong.

Finally, one day Qin Hao couldn't help but ask her, "What exactly do you want to do?"

Lin Suyang was reading a book at the time. Upon hearing his words, she merely raised her eyes slightly before lowering her head again. Qin Hao, enraged, walked over, snatched her book, and threw it on the ground. "You haven't said a word since that day! What did I do wrong? Tell me, and I'll change, okay?"

The wind blowing in from outside rustled the pages of the books on the floor, and Lin Suyang felt a slight pang of pain in her heart again. Finally, she opened her mouth, looked at him, and said softly, "Because you lied to me."

Qin Hao asked in a daze, "You... you remember everything?"

Lin Suyang turned her head and looked at the shadows of the trees swaying in the moonlight outside the window, saying, "Yes, I remember everything. I remember how you lied to me, how you imprisoned me under your watchful eye, and how you hurt Si Junxing."

Qin Hao gazed intently at her, offering no rebuttal to her words, but simply saying, "That's right, I lied to you. I intended to lie to you for the rest of my life, to keep you by my side forever, but unfortunately, you remembered."

"Where is he?" Lin Suyang asked.

"What, you want to go find him?" Qin Hao narrowed his eyes and approached her.

Lin Suyang shook her head: "No, I just want to know." She just wanted to know if he was doing well.

"Yes, so you'll know where he is and then find a chance to run away with him to the ends of the earth," Qin Hao sneered.

Hearing the obvious sourness in his tone, Lin Suyang frowned. "I won't leave."

"What did you say?"

“I said I won’t leave. At least not now.”

Qin Hao understood the implication in her words, "Not now?" Then later... He raised the corners of his mouth: "Okay, I believe you. So, I hope you'll still be sitting here at the Empress's investiture ceremony two months from now."

Qin Hao didn't stay that night. Both of them knew perfectly well that once the veil of pretense was pierced, it would be difficult to go back to the way things were before.

In fact, when Lin Suyang learned of Qin Hao's actions, her only thought was to leave him, find Si Junxing, and then live in anonymity to forget this absurd past. However, her heart was made of flesh and blood. The moment she saw the child, she knew she had lost, and lost utterly. She had lost not only her promise to Si Junxing but also his feelings for her.

Who can be blamed for this? Is it Qin Hao who disregarded others' feelings and did such a thing for his own selfish reasons, or is it the person who was indecisive between love and other things, causing harm to several people?

She faced only two paths: either abandon the child and live happily ever after with Si Junxing, or sever her deep love for Si Junxing and stay with the child to watch him grow up. There was no third option; Qin Hao would never let the child go with her, because she had already learned from Yanzi that Qin Hao had long ago issued an edict establishing the second prince, Qin Xiao, as the crown prince.

There was no way out, no way to retreat. After comparing the two options, she finally chose the second one. She believed that Qin Hao would take good care of Qin Xiao, but Si Junxing had nothing. She didn't want to, and couldn't bear to, abandon Si Junxing. She didn't know how he had gotten through the days she had forgotten him. She still remembered the excitement and joy in his eyes when he saw her in Hanzhu Garden, and the despair and pain in his eyes when he didn't recognize her. She remembered every bit of love in her heart, and only wanted to recognize him as soon as possible and tell him that she was also thinking of him.

The day after she made that decision, her decision was changed due to Xuan Ge's visit.

Meeting Xuan Ge was something Lin Suyang hadn't expected. They'd only met four or five times in total, but each time had given Lin Suyang a different feeling. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she felt this woman was very special.

Xuan Ge came after hearing that Lin Suyang had recovered, and before coming, she had to obtain the gold token from Qin Hao. Qingxiang Palace had become the most heavily guarded place in the entire palace that day; no one, including Empress Dowager Fengxiang, was allowed to enter without a gold token or imperial edict.

She remembered that when Qin Hao looked at her and asked her why, her heart was pounding. Unlike before when she was afraid, she felt that the man in front of her had deepened her feelings for him. She thought to herself, she had fallen for him.

She said that no matter the reason, she would not be so bold as to plot against the Queen.

Qin Hao smiled, gave her the gold medal, and told her to visit Lin Suyang from time to time, tell her interesting things, and not let her get too bored.

Xuan Ge buried the bitterness deep in her heart, opened her alluring eyes and said, "Okay."

When she first entered Qingxiang Palace, she didn't focus on the luxurious decorations and magnificent atmosphere like the others, because she knew that she couldn't have these things, nor did she know what she wanted. Her eyes were fixed straight ahead from the moment she entered, until she saw Lin Suyang standing in front of her, holding Qin Xiao.

She stared blankly at the person before her, seemingly unable to believe it was her. Neither the aloof Grand Tutor Lin nor the gentle Yuan Feng'er were like this; she radiated an unprecedented tenderness, and a smile from the depths of her heart was generously bestowed upon the infant in her arms.

Xuan Ge even felt that this person was more fickle than herself, and every change was genuine, without the slightest affectation, completely following the changes of her heart. Such a person must be the happiest person in the world, right?

Volume Four, Palace Intrigue, Chapter 112: The Cold Autumn at the End of the Year (Part Two)

"Thank you," Lin Suyang said to Xuan Ge after handing the child over to Yanzi.

"It is only right for this concubine to pay a visit to Her Majesty the Empress," Xuan Ge replied gently, in a tone as respectful and distant as that between concubines.

Lin Suyang shook his head. "That's not what I meant."

Xuan Ge looked up at her with an unreadable expression.

"It's nothing, thank you anyway," Lin Suyang said with a smile. "Also, you don't need to call me Empress, just call me... Feng'er as before."

"Feng'er...do you have some misunderstanding with the Emperor?" Xuan Ge asked tentatively.

Lin Suyang paused for a moment, then asked, "Why do you think that?"

"Today I went to the Emperor to get the token and found that he didn't seem to be in a good mood. Feng'er, you finally woke up, the Emperor should be happy, so why..."

"Is that so?" Lin Suyang said indifferently.

Looking at her expression, Xuan Ge became even more certain that there was a problem between them.

“I don’t know what kind of conflict you have with the Emperor, but I think what you’re doing will cause a lot of trouble,” Xuan Ge said, his eyes fixed on Qin Xiao, who was struggling in Yan Zi’s arms.

"The Crown Prince... is very cute."

Lin Suyang, unsure why she was bringing up her child, was about to answer when a sudden chill ran through her. She instantly understood her meaning. The Crown Prince. Her Xiao'er was the Crown Prince!

According to the laws of the Great Central Court, the crown prince is always the eldest son. Although there are few heirs in the harem, Qin Zhao, the son of Consort Qi, is the eldest. Qin Hao disregarded the law and ancestral precedent and actually made Qin Xiao the crown prince. Consort Qi must be furious! Qin Hao's doting on Xiao'er will surely arouse Consort Qi's jealousy. If she weren't there to protect Xiao'er, wouldn't he have to face the darkness of the harem alone?

The decision to leave began to waver instantly. Just then, Qin Xiao, who had been quietly nestled in Yanzi's arms, burst into tears. Lin Suyang's last hesitation crumbled. She got up, went over, and took Qin Xiao from Yanzi. Only then did Qin Xiao sob softly, sucking on his finger as he stared at his mother.

Although premature, Qin Xiao was almost as energetic and confident as other full-term babies. His little face, which inherited Lin Suyang's good looks, was already endearing, not to mention how heartbreaking it was to see him with tears still clinging to his long eyelashes.

"The Crown Prince is very attached to you," Xuan Ge said enviously.

Lin Suyang nodded and gently wiped away Qin Xiao's tears with a soft handkerchief. Her heart softened. She considered whether to ask Qin Hao to give Xiao'er's position as crown prince to Qin Zhao, but then she thought that given his personality, he would never do so. Besides, even if Xiao'er lost her status as crown prince, Consort Qi would not let it go easily. Thinking of this, Lin Suyang felt a sense of bewilderment and helplessness.

"His Majesty has already announced to the world that the ceremony for establishing the Empress will be held in two months, you know that, right?"

"I know." Lin Suyang looked away from Qin Xiao's face and at Xuan Ge, "However, I don't want to."

Seeing that his mother was no longer looking at him, Xiao Qinxiao started whining again. He reached out and grabbed Lin Suyang's collar, refusing to let go. Lin Suyang lowered her head, affectionately pinched his nose, and then kissed his little cheek, making him laugh heartily before letting go.

"I just want to live freely with my children. The name of the Queen is too tiring."

"You really think so?" Xuan Ge didn't believe it.

"If I could, I would take the child and leave this place immediately." Lin Suyang smiled, looking around the magnificent palace, a place that did not belong to her at all.

Xuan Ge looked at her for a long time before saying, "I'm only now realizing how selfish you are."

Seeing that Lin Suyang remained silent, she continued, "Do you know that because you were unconscious after giving birth to the Crown Prince, the imperial physicians were helpless, so the Emperor imprisoned them and ordered that if anything happened to you, their entire families would be executed? During that time, the Emperor was in a very bad mood, all the ministers in the court were terrified, and the entire harem was in a state of panic. Anyone who was not careful would be sent to the Ministry of Justice for punishment."

"Your condition shows no improvement. The Crown Prince cries incessantly, and the Emperor is extremely agitated, staying by your side day and night in Qingxiang Palace. We finally managed to wake you up. And yet, instead of throwing a tantrum at the Emperor, you have such thoughts. Yunfeng'er, so this is how heartless you are!"

Lin Suyang looked at her quietly, and only after she finished speaking did he say, "You've fallen in love with him." It wasn't a question, but a statement of certainty.

"What...what did you say?" Xuan Ge suddenly panicked.

"You've fallen in love with him." Lin Suyang's calm reply forced Xuan Ge to consider when she had given herself away.

“Outsiders see things more clearly. I think you already know what your inner self is like.” Lin Suyang continued, “Xuange, there’s nothing wrong with falling in love with someone, but if your circumstances don’t allow you to love, I advise you to think it over carefully before making a decision.”

Xuan Ge was suddenly startled. He asked warily, "What do you mean?"

Lin Suyang stopped looking at her. He lowered his head and gently shook Qin Xiao with both hands, "Some things don't need to be said too clearly. It's enough to know it yourself."

“You…” No, she’s definitely not that Yun Feng’er. Could it be that she has regained her memories? Xuan Ge looked at her with surprise and uncertainty.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. You can handle your own affairs." Lin Suyang glanced at Qin Xiao, who was already asleep, and called Yanzi over to carry him to the small bed. Then he got up and walked to Xuan Ge, whispering in her ear, "As you thought, I've regained my memories."

After Xuan Ge left, Lin Suyang decided to have a serious talk with Qin Hao. Qin Hao wasn't a suspicious person, but he was always extremely suspicious of Lin Suyang. Even though Lin Suyang promised not to leave, he still couldn't rest easy and always sent guards to accompany her under the guise of protection. Lin Suyang didn't object to his actions; she understood that even if she did, it would be futile.

Besides taking care of Qin Xiao, the only thing Lin Suyang was allowed to do each day was to wander around Qingxiang Palace with a large group of palace maids and guards. Although she felt it was really inappropriate, she didn't want to be confined in one place all day. Fortunately, she never bumped into anyone else when she went out.

However, this was precisely what puzzled her. Logically speaking, her appearance had become common knowledge, and the concubines in the harem, especially Consort Qi and Empress Dowager Fengxiang, should have taken some action. But in the more than half a month since she woke up, apart from Xuan Ge coming once, no one else had even seen a shadow of her.

For the past two weeks, she had carefully reviewed everything that had happened since her amnesia, and she always felt there were many suspicious points. Putting aside the rumors of her "death" outside, even Si Junxing guessed that she was still alive, so how could Lin Ziyan, who was closest to her, not guess? Also, the vassal state had been destroyed for so long, so why hadn't he returned? According to what she knew before her amnesia, the Lin family's power was at its peak, and her father, Lin Cheng, was not a careless person. Didn't he ever suspect his child's life or death? Or did they simply not care?

Having regained her memories, Lin Suyang seemed even calmer. Now that she had decided to stay, she couldn't escape the murky waters of the court. Whether it was for Qin Xiao in the harem or for the Lin family in court, she had a responsibility to participate. The confusion of the past few months had trapped her in a search for her memories, causing her to lose her true self. Wasn't it time to reclaim her identity?

But Si Junxing, how am I supposed to repay what I owe you?

When Qin Hao heard Shunzi say that the Empress wanted to see him, he was very surprised. In the past few days, he had only gone to Qingxiang Palace to play with the children and had hardly spoken to her. What kind of day was it that she wanted to see him today? Although he had doubts, it was always good to see her, especially since she had suggested it first. So, Qin Hao hurriedly went to Qingxiang Palace without even changing his clothes and putting down his memorial.

When they arrived, they found the child crying incessantly. Yanzi was frantically trying to soothe him, but the little guy remained unmoved and continued to wail loudly. Qin Hao walked over with a stern face, picked up Qin Xiao, and asked coldly, "Where is the Empress?"

"Your Majesty... Her Majesty is taking a bath." Yanzi hadn't expected Qin Hao to arrive so quickly. Her master had said he would at least finish reviewing the memorials before coming over, and the sun would set. How could this be...?

Qin Hao frowned, looking down at Qin Xiao, whose crying was gradually subsiding. The boy, upon seeing his father, immediately closed his mouth, stretched out his left hand, and began sucking. Qin Hao's frown deepened. He reached out to pull the finger out of the boy's mouth, but the moment he exerted force, the child started crying again. After several such attempts, Qin Hao had no choice but to let him be.

After waiting for a while, Lin Suyang came out from inside wearing a thin coat. He was taken aback when he saw Qin Hao, and then asked, "Did you finish reviewing them so quickly?" Didn't Shunzi say that there was a thick pile of memorials on his desk?

Qin Hao glanced at her still dripping long hair and said, "Why didn't you dry your hair before coming out? Yanzi, why don't you dry it for Her Highness?" Seeing that Lin Suyang was about to refuse, he added, "Or I can help you."

Lin Suyang had no choice but to sit and let Yanzi wipe her back with a dry cloth. She glanced at Qin Xiao in Qin Hao's arms, who was sobbing incessantly, and turned to ask, "Xiao'er, what's wrong? Are you hungry?"

"Your Majesty, the Crown Prince just had his milk. I don't know why he's crying so much," Yanzi replied. The Crown Prince stopped crying when the Emperor took him in, so why is he still crying now?

Qin Hao looked up at Qin Xiao, who was sobbing and sucking his finger, and asked Lin Suyang, "Do all children like to suck their fingers?"

Lin Suyang thought to herself, "Don't you already have two children? Don't you know this?" But she replied aloud, "Not every child is like this. But Xiao'er won't be like this after a while."

After Yanzi finished fixing her hair, she went over to Qin Xiao, whose face was flushed, and gently removed the finger from his mouth. Then, she used chopsticks to dip into the dark red liquid in the dish next to the plate brought by the palace maid, and put a drop on Qin Xiao's white finger. Releasing her grip, Qin Xiao immediately put the finger back in his mouth, but quickly took it out again, opening his mouth and making incoherent noises.

"What did you put in his mouth?" Qin Hao asked curiously, seeing that the child had stopped sucking his fingers.

Lin Suyang glanced at him indifferently and said, "Plum juice."

Volume Four, Palace Intrigue, Chapter 113: The Cold Autumn of the Year (Part Two)

"Why did you call me here?" Qin Hao asked Lin Suyang, ignoring Qin Xiao's struggling and waving hands.

Lin Suyang saw Qin Xiao tilting his little head and calling out to her, so she reached out her hand. The little guy immediately struggled even more violently, trying to turn over and pounce on her. Qin Hao had no choice but to hand him over to Lin Suyang. The little guy grabbed his mother's hair and quieted down obediently.

"I want to leave the palace."

Qin Hao's expression instantly turned cold, and he said in a deep voice, "What are you doing?"

Lin Suyang knew what he was worried about and sighed, "Don't worry, I said I wouldn't leave and I won't. I just... just want to see him."

Without needing to be explicitly stated, Qin Hao knew who she meant by "he." A pang of sorrow gripped his heart, yet he felt he owed Si Junxing far too much. But he was even more worried that Lin Suyang might never return. After much deliberation, he finally said, "I hope you remember your words. Don't forget, you still have Xiao."

Lin Suyang looked down at Qin Xiao, who was playing with her long hair with his chubby fingers, and said, "I know."

Si Junxing lay on the ground, gazing at the blue sky where a few white clouds occasionally drifted by. A cool breeze was blowing, and there was an intoxicating scent in the air. Time flew by, and autumn was just around the corner.

What was I doing last autumn? I was probably at Guigan Mountain with Yan Muqing and the others. Back then, I endured the most difficult time with the belief that I could see Lin Suyang as soon as possible and be with her. Now my eyesight is better, and my martial arts have returned, but everything has changed.

Thinking back, he realized he hadn't done anything perfectly in his life. Uncle Lian entrusted the Demonic Sect to him, and he gave it away to someone else. He fell in love with someone, loved her to the point of madness, yet let her walk into someone else's arms. Fortunately, he was comforted by the fact that she had lost her memory, and one day she would regain it and return to his side. But how far away was that day?

As he pondered his question, he suddenly heard footsteps approaching from not far away. He immediately stood up alertly and shouted, "Who's there?"

A man in black emerged from the woods behind him. The man walked towards him, stopping when he was about ten paces away.

"Young Master Si, my master has a letter for you." The man in black said, taking a letter from his robes and throwing it at Si Junxing. Si Junxing didn't move. He simply reached out and caught the letter between his fingers.