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47

Cute and silly silver scholar

That day, after receiving guidance from Fan Qingbo, the painter Jin was overjoyed. He went to Huanxitian and obtained a copy of "The Phoenix Seeks Its Mate," studying all the male characters' fighting techniques thoroughly. Full of ambition, he went to find the young widow. But who knew…

On the first day, he was reciting poetry under her wall when she splashed a basin of water on him. Luckily, he was quick and dodged it.

The next day, he invited her to the countryside and played the zither for her by the river. She pushed him into the river, but luckily he knew how to use his light-footed skills to fly on water.

On the third day, he played his trump card—gifting her his family heirloom jade! Sure enough! The young widow was moved! She came out to see him! And she was all smiles! But! What was she saying? What did she mean by, "Since I really like this jade, I promise not to tell anyone about your impotence, so you don't need to try anything funny anymore"?

Who won't raise their hand? Who! Won't! Raise their hand!!!

"She actually said I'm impotent... I'm impotent... I'm impotent..."

Meanwhile, on the other side, Xie Dongfeng's expression wasn't much better. He'd been subjected to strange stares all the way home from the Ministry of Revenue. While he knew he wasn't exactly handsome, surely he hadn't suddenly become so repulsive that he'd angered all the women in the city? Everyone was glaring at him like he was their father's killer, their expressions a mixture of sorrow and rage. The most outrageous thing was that someone had even thrown rotten cabbages at him!

Just as he was about to grab someone and ask them what was going on, he overheard several people whispering to each other nearby.

"I never would have guessed that the stingy Minister would have homosexual tendencies. Doesn't he have a wife?"

"You wouldn't know this, would you? It's all a smokescreen!"

"Haven't you heard that Madam Xie is dying? Who knows if it's because of him..."

"Oh dear, what a pity! But with a talent like the Grand Tutor, it's no wonder he was tempted!"

"You found out already? The book doesn't explicitly say so. Maybe he's a woman disguised as a man?"

"Come on, what makes him look like a woman? It's more believable that the Grand Tutor is a woman disguised as a man!"

He keenly heard the word "book" and immediately rushed home to get the sample book that had been delivered the day before. Upon seeing it, he was filled with rage and anger. Without saying a word, he stormed over to Huanxitian.

"They actually said I'm gay... I'm gay... I'm gay..."

So when the scholar burst through the door after hearing the screams, he saw the indignant Jin Huashi and the sinister Xie Dongfeng muttering to themselves. One kept saying, "I can't get it, I can't get it," and the other kept saying, "I'm gay, I'm gay," while his wife was timidly peeking out from under the table.

"Wife, are you alright?" Her first concern was for the person who seemed to be in danger, even though the other two looked more like they were in trouble than she did.

"It's alright." Upon seeing the scholar, Fan Qingbo felt reassured and quickly jumped off the table, rushing over to him, temporarily forgetting the sullenness of the previous night.

"Hmm." The scholar caught her, thought for a moment, and although it would be impolite to push her away with outsiders present, he ultimately did not push her away. He glanced at the two people over there, and asked in a low voice, "Brother Jin is impotent, why is Lord Xie, who is gay, causing trouble for his wife?"

Fan Qingbo blinked innocently, "I don't know either."

The words had barely left his mouth when he received two murderous glares. "Fan! Qing! Bo!"

Fan Qingbo leaned against the scholar's chest, once again overturning her initial impression of him. Who said he was weak? Who said he lacked security? With him by her side, the world's number one martial arts master and the world's most powerful minister, who had been yelling at her, suddenly didn't seem so scary anymore. Luckily, he hadn't been scared away by her fierce demeanor; luckily, he was stubborn enough to insist on taking responsibility; luckily, she hadn't missed her chance with him.

Following her heart's desire, she wrapped her arms around his waist, "Husband, they are so fierce."

Now, not only the two aggrieved parties, the painter Jin and Xie Dongfeng, but even the scholar couldn't help but wonder, "My lady, are you really scared, or are you just trying to annoy them and take advantage of your husband?"

“Brother Shu, this matter has nothing to do with you. You’d better step aside,” the painter said with great restraint.

The scholar disliked these words and said righteously, "Qingbo is my wife, so her affairs are naturally my affairs." He paused, then added tactfully, "Brother Jin, what use is it for you to seek help from your wife if you have a hidden ailment? I heard that the renowned healer will be arriving in the capital soon. You have a relationship with him, so I believe he won't stand by and watch you die."

"Who said I have a hidden illness!" the gold painter roared, on the verge of madness.

The scholar was taken aback, but quickly realized what was going on and said repeatedly, "Yes, yes, Brother Jin has no hidden illness. I understand, I understand." As he spoke, he even showed an understanding and knowing expression, clearly saying, "I'm a man too, I understand this isn't a good thing, and it's only natural that you don't want to make a fuss."

"puff."

The perfectly synchronized burst of laughter from the ex-couple, Xie Dongfeng and Fan Qingbo, finally became the last straw that broke the camel's back. The painter, Jin, went berserk, drew his golden pen from his waist, and pointed it at the scholar, saying, "Enough talk, let's fight first!"

"Hey, we were talking so well, what's wrong, Brother Jin?" The scholar, holding Fan Qingbo, turned his head to avoid him.

"Who said we were on good terms!" With a sweep of his golden brush, the painter forced the scholar to release Fan Qingbo.

"A gentleman uses words, not fists. Brother Jin, please don't do this..." The scholar dodged repeatedly, refusing to retaliate.

"Where is your silver pen?" the gold painter asked, closing in step by step.

"I made a bracelet for my wife. Master Ye's craftsmanship is excellent, and his prices are fair. Brother Jin, you can also contact him if you're interested." The scholar was happy to share and never kept anything to himself. Besides, Master Ye helped him win over his wife, so introducing him to some business was a way of returning the favor.

"Thank you so much." The painter gritted his teeth, his golden brush flashing through his hands in an instant, as if he wouldn't give up until he forced the painter to make a move.

"No need to thank me, Brother Jin. But do you think it's a bit inappropriate for you to use force against a scholar like me who can't even kill a chicken?"

"You're so weak you can't even kill a chicken? Who would believe that? Ha, I could say I'm a virgin, would you believe me?" The painter was so angry he laughed.

"Of course I believe you," the scholar replied matter-of-factly, his upright eyes clearly saying: You're impotent, aren't you?

"...Aaaaaah!"

...

"Your man is truly bizarre; his ability to stir up hatred is unmatched." Watching the two figures chasing, dodging, attacking, and flashing, Xie Dongfeng exclaimed. See, now the painter has completely forgotten the culprit's existence, single-mindedly focused on finding the scholar and fighting him to the death.

Fan Qingbo rested her chin on her hand, looking somewhat desolate. "Sigh, now that you mention it, I feel a little lonely."

Xie Dongfeng glanced at her. "Don't worry, I'm here for you." His hatred remained firmly focused on her, undiminished.

Fan Qingbo froze, his gaze wavering as he looked away. "Um, I clearly didn't write about you. Those people in the city are just making things up out of nothing. How can you blame me? I'm innocent..."

Xie Dongfeng narrowed his eyes and said with a forced smile, "A young scholar who ranked third in the imperial examinations, rose to the position of Minister, is not handsome, and is particularly good at accumulating wealth. Do you think these sixteen characters are hard to associate with me?"

Fan Qingbo raised his hand and argued, "I wrote on the title page that this story is purely fictional, and any resemblance to actual events or persons is purely coincidental."

"Hmph." Xie Dongfeng crossed his arms, clearly not accepting this explanation.