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Глава 54

The savage remained silent. I looked at him, head bowed and listless, and prayed that he was just half asleep and hadn't made up his mind or decided on something early in the morning...

“Sun Qingshan…” the savage spoke as my thoughts raced, his voice strange, his words slow and somewhat stiff, “…If…” he continued, “I hadn’t encountered the miracle in Savage Valley… I’d probably be buried there long ago, dead for many years…”

"Pah! Pah! Pah!!" I frowned. "What nonsense are you talking about?! Aren't I your miracle? Your miracle is right here!!"

“Yes…” he nodded, “That’s why I wanted to take you away and erase your memories… hoping that this beautiful dream could last a little longer… ideally… never to wake up…”

"I'll get angry if you say that again!" I said sternly. "This isn't a dream, this is real life! There's no such thing as waking up or not! And I already forgave you about the amnesia, so don't think about it anymore!"

He nodded again. Helpless, I stepped forward and sat down beside him, taking his hand and pulling it into my arms. "Wild man, although there are many things you find hard to understand, believe me, what feels like four years to you is only a little over ten days to me. Those ten days have felt like centuries, so you must be feeling even worse than I am... But Wild man, your ignoring me is secondary; what I fear most is that you'll be burned to death. If you die... I'll never see you again... Last time, you really scared me to death..."

Before I could finish my sentence, he started rambling on and on about being sentimental again, and I couldn't continue. The savage turned his head, reached out and touched my cheek. "I'm sorry..." His fingertips were icy cold, and he frowned slightly.

"Forget it..." I said nonchalantly. "You didn't do it on purpose. Besides, I'm not stupid. I checked that charred body, and it wasn't you at all... But I'm still very sad. Why were you only willing to wait for me for two years? Is four years too long? Enough for you to fall in love with someone else countless times? Have you fallen in love with someone else?"

The savage's expression remained unchanged; his lips were pale, his brow furrowed, and he shook his head, replying, "No."

"Then why don't your eyes light up at all—" I lamented, "You used to have eyes that light up whenever you saw me!"

He answered softly, "I'm not a wolf..."

“But I like turning you into a wolf…” I reached forward and fiercely hugged the savage’s neck, pressing my whole body against him. “Savage, you can tell me anything that’s on your mind… I went through so much trouble to find this place, and I really didn’t come here to say goodbye, nor to play breakup games with you—otherwise there wouldn’t be a saying that the most tragic thing between lovers is that I’m right beside you, but you’re unwilling to tell me your troubles—Savage, you’re making me so confused. What’s wrong between us?”

I nuzzled my head against his chest, and the savage reached out, rolled me over, and held me in place.

“Alright,” he said in a low voice, “I’ll tell you.”

Uh… that tone made me frown. It was so calm yet tinged with bitterness, a bitterness that also revealed a hint of determination, a determination that was filled with hopelessness… My heart skipped a beat. Based on my understanding of savages, I knew that what he was about to say was definitely not a good thing.

"Do you know that all the heroes in the world are searching for a treasure?" he asked, holding me in his arms.

“I know, the Yan family treasure…” I murmured, “…the Yan family…the Yan family…Shao Yanhe…Yanhe…your family…”

The savage lowered his head, his face close to mine, and praised, "Very clever..."

"Nonsense!" I scoffed. "Even if you're not smart, you still need to be logical, otherwise how can I keep up with your pace?!"

Knowing I was mocking him, he didn't say much, but after a pause, he asked, "So... what else do you know?"

“I…you…” I turned my head, looking at his delicate, clear eyelashes from a distance, fluttering as he blinked. His features and face were exquisite, and in the light, his eyes were slightly lowered, like a gentle and calm person—but he was not that kind of person at all… “Savage,” I said, having made up my mind, “Since the treasure map belongs to your family, it’s not surprising that someone wants to kill you for it. Qingyou said your father was murdered, so you wanted to avenge him…You plotted and schemed for a long time, becoming famous at nineteen, joining Liangfeng Manor, marrying Shi Shenghuan, becoming the leader of the martial arts alliance, slaughtering the Shi family overnight, reclaiming the treasure map, and avenging your father’s death…”

I paused, and the savage, who had been listening quietly, closed his eyes.

Chapter 68

"Don't you think something's strange?" I asked. "One is the leader of the martial arts alliance, and the other is the head of a powerful family. Do they really need to be so insatiable and insist on seizing that treasure, even resorting to murder and robbery? Is it really necessary?"

The savage lowered his eyes and remained silent... After a long while, he coldly replied with four words: "...the ways of the world and people's hearts..."

I was taken aback. I had initially thought there might be other hidden reasons, but seeing his reaction, I knew he had already made up his mind about some things, while I was completely confused, like listening to a story. I couldn't even empathize with him, let alone make any wild guesses.

Since there is no room for negotiation, it is only natural for children to avenge their parents, and I have nothing to say about it.

"Shi Shenghuan..." These three words were the ones I couldn't hold back the most, but once I opened my mouth, I felt it was a pointless question... If the savage really loved Shi Shenghuan, if the savage really killed her whole family for revenge... If these weren't just "ifs," and if Shi Shenghuan's death played a large part in the savage's unbearable past—then how should I react? Should I blame the savage for being ruthless? Or should I be glad that my rival died early and by chance?

The savage stared silently at the candlestick on the table, as if he hadn't heard me, but I knew very well that he had, but he simply ignored me.

"And then what happened?" I asked. "After you became the leader of the martial arts alliance, how could you be so careless as to let Shao Qingyou take advantage of the situation? You clearly knew he hated you..."

“He’s my brother…” the savage continued, turning his head away, “It was my carelessness, it has nothing to do with him…”

“Yes!!” I emphasized, “You were the one who was heartless and ungrateful to him first, so how can you blame him for not being submissive enough?! You brainless savage—!”

I suddenly climbed onto the bed, knelt down beside him, and used one hand to turn his head. I saw him slightly frowning, his eyes half-closed, and I was pinching his chin.

"Happy now?!" I shouted. "You've spent half your life with nothing to show for it? Why can't you see the light? Qingyou hates you because you've never treated him properly—you only care about revenge, only care about your own carefree life, pushing him far away, just like you're trying to push me far away now... But you yourself will say, he's your brother, maybe he just wants his older brother's love—he'd rather die beside you, in your arms, than have you sell him off to some random family. You two are family, no matter how big the world is, no matter how many people there are, you only have one brother... Is your brain full of straw? Can't you see how much he resembles you, both as stubborn as donkeys—" When she got ruthless, each one was more ruthless than the last...

The savage finally raised his eyes, the light in them faint, his chin red from my pinching, his expression indifferent, and he remained silent.

"What's wrong?" I let go of his hand. "Did I say something wrong?"

He slowly shook his head. "That's very true."

“But you don’t think it’s right.” I said in a deep voice, “He treated you…” I paused, unconsciously lowering my eyes. The wild man’s hand was resting on the edge of the bed. His hand was strangely white, and his fingers were long, thin, and stiff. At first glance, there was nothing particularly unusual about him… “Shao Qingyou said that after he finished eating, he would go and beat you, and he also found you a lot of men… Is that true?” I asked.

The savage withdrew his hand and said calmly, "No..."

"No?! No?!"

"..."

“If not, then why was it that when I saw you in Savage Valley, you…” I frowned.

"Like a madman?" he asked unhurriedly for me.

“No.” I shook my head. “Like a wild man…”

"Perhaps I injured my head in the fall..." he said calmly, "Perhaps the poisoning was acting up too frequently, and I couldn't take it..."

"You hit your head..." I was startled by his words, and quickly went over to lift his hair, then held his head to my chest and checked him over.

"...Green Mountain..." The savage reached out and placed his hand on my waist, "I..."

"What are you doing?" I answered absentmindedly, annoyed by his thick hair, tucking all the curls behind his head. Then I noticed his sudden silence, so I stopped what I was doing. "What's wrong?" I asked.

“Sit down first…” he pulled me.

"Oh." I sat back on my heels, let go of his hands, and all of the savage's hair fell down to one side of his chest.

“You seem like a gentle and virtuous older sister…” I laughed, but when I realized he didn’t laugh back, I felt awkward.

The savage's gaze was calm, like water stilled in a jar, clear and still... "About you," he said, "Xu Yi has explained it to me... I'm sorry, I never thought the Forget-Dust Pill was poisonous, and I almost... harmed you..."

"What?" I stared, my fingers clenching into a fist—hadn't I told Xu Yi to shut up?! "When did he tell you?" I asked. "And what else did he say?"

The savage shook his head. "He didn't say anything, just one thing... Sun Qingshan... you may never be able to go back, right?"

“This…” I hesitated, unsure whether to answer “yes” or “no”.

“It’s alright…” the savage said, “At least we can give it a try.”

"Try?!" I exclaimed in surprise. "Try what?!"

He looked into my eyes. "Don't you want to go back?" he asked. "If you do, you'd better hurry... The Palace Master of Chen Gang Palace will arrive at Liangfeng Manor tomorrow. I will give him the treasure map and exchange it for the final move of the Dan Yuan Heart Method... After that, something will definitely happen in Savage Valley. Even if you want to go back and try again then, I'm afraid it will be difficult to succeed..."

Are you serious...?

The savage's voice was low and hoarse, and it didn't sound fake on its own.

He nodded earnestly at me, “...This time is different from the past. Before, you could sit back and wait for the opportunity to return before deciding how to proceed—but this time, it may be your last chance, you…”

"Wait a minute!" I waved my hand, interrupting hesitantly, "It doesn't necessarily have to be the Savage Valley, the key to crossing over... isn't there..."

The result was exactly the opposite of what I expected. The savage was not surprised at all; on the contrary, he was calm and composed, looking very confident—which shows how much nonsense Xu Yi had told him!

"Are you sure?" he asked slowly, his tone completely flat, his expression unchanged, yet it made me feel as if he were administering a potent drug, relentlessly pushing me—step by step forcing me down a path I had no other choice… "What if we can never go back?" the savage asked. "Are you really not going to regret it? Are you willing to abandon your parents and family, to abandon everything you once had… to abandon… to let those who care about you lose all contact with you forever?!"

My heart skipped a beat. I glared at the wild man. He was doing it on purpose, hitting me right where it hurt—he knew my biggest fear was my parents worrying about their child, knew I still dream about them every week, about them arguing, and how I never called home, how unfilial I was… The wild man knew me too well, knew the most important man in my life was my dad… and it was him…

“But it might not even work!” I retorted after a moment of silence. “Even if we go back to Savage Valley, we might not be able to travel back in time. I…” I paused, regaining my composure, and asked him, “Didn’t you say you’d rather I lose my memory than go back to the future? Didn’t you try every possible way to keep me here—why have you changed your mind now? Why do you want to see me again so badly?!”

“…Give it a try…” The savage lowered his head, his previous calm and composed demeanor suddenly shifting to one of vulnerability, his voice low and tinged with a hint of pleading, “How about giving it a try…I’ll take you back…and go with you to try it…”

"No need!" I refused flatly. "I'm not leaving unless you come with me!"

"..." The savage lowered his head, and after a while, answered, "...I can't walk..."

"For revenge?" I heard my own voice getting hoarse. "Shao Yeren, can't you be fair?! I like you, why can't we be together? There's more than one way to do this. Even if it's for revenge, you can learn other techniques. Why do you have to leave no room for maneuver? Why are you so stubborn? A thousand years from now, your enemies will be dead without a trace. Why do you care about them? Why don't you take care of yourself, spend more time with me, and think about what's worth it and what's not? Ugh!"

I stared wide-eyed in disbelief. This savage, who used to be mute and always listened to me obediently no matter how much we argued, didn't even give me a chance this time, and simply covered my mouth with one hand—

"Waaah—!" I struggled, reaching up to pry his hands away.

“…Listen to me…” The savage frowned, leaned forward, and waited until I gradually stopped writhing before slowly saying, “Sun Qingshan, you’re wrong… I wanted to keep you, not entirely because I couldn’t lose you, but because I was running away… I used you as an excuse to escape my past, to escape everything I had to face to survive… Qingshan, I’m sorry… I really thought I couldn’t live without you… But the truth is… I could only wait two years at most… I’m not the savage you’re looking for, you’re not worth it… not worth staying for me, not worth sacrificing for me…”

I was stunned.

"Life is long, isn't it?" He suddenly smiled faintly. "Nothing is irreplaceable, not even marriage... It sprouts on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, blossoms on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, and is harvested on Sundays... It's enough to be happy. You can't force it, you can't hold on to it, but you must have hope and believe that tomorrow the flowers will bloom even better..."

"Remember?" the savage asked. "These are all things you said, people who aren't worth it... aren't worth cherishing... This... you said that too..."

He let out a soft sigh. He didn't intend to let go of me, but instead pressed his forehead against the back of his hand, his face down, his breath hitting my chest. "...If we can really go back, then don't worry about coming back..." he whispered. "I promise you, on the day I avenge my family, I will treat myself well, marry a wife, have a child, and I won't let you worry...and I won't forget you..."

In the end, the savage's voice grew softer and softer, and his words became increasingly strange. I couldn't break free from his grasp, so I could only write forcefully on his leg: What if we can't go back?!

"...If we can't go back..." he paused, then answered, "...I will have Song Guan follow you, accompany you to explore mountains and ancient sites...to go wherever you want to go...as long as you're happy..."

I frowned. Was he rambling incoherently? Or was he simply being incoherent? Even though I had been genuinely moved by his words just a moment ago and wanted to try traveling back to the future, at this moment I felt that he was acting strangely and inappropriately.

"You're hiding something from me"—I wrote on the savage's body, and as I finished writing, he suddenly looked up and released his grip at the same time.

I opened my mouth wide, just about to gasp for air, when I saw his head lower...

Huh?! I opened my eyes wide—Huh? Huh?!

The moment the savage's hand slipped from my mouth, his lips pressed against mine. His lips were cold and soft, his eyes closed, and he exuded a cool, light herbal scent, like tortoise jelly. After a moment, he grasped my hand and wrote: "...Don't say anything...One word from you...will condemn me to eternal damnation..."

Suddenly, I felt my stomach churn and my brain swell. I reached out and pushed him away forcefully—"What do you mean—I'm telling you, I don't just have one sentence, I have a whole bunch of things to say—Are you hiding something from me? Is there something I don't know—Speak up!!"

The savage's face was ashen. He suddenly stood up. "It's very late..." he said hoarsely. "You should go to sleep..."

"Savage!" I shouted as a shoe flew past him, but he moved with lightning speed, his figure flashing as he crossed the threshold and was outside.

I felt weak in the knees and my head was spinning. I knelt on the bed for a full half minute before I suddenly came to my senses. I jumped off the bed, not even bothering to put on my last shoe, and ran out the door with a heavy breath...

As it turned out, it didn't take me too much trouble. When I went out into the courtyard, I saw a person kneeling on the ground behind the flower bed, vomiting incessantly.

I stood there, waiting for him to finish vomiting, and then I heard him say in a weak voice, "Come out..."

I slowly walked over to him and asked, "Wild Man, are you alright?" I squatted down beside him and reached out to pat his back.

But then I heard him hiss, as if all his strength had been exhausted… “Listen to me, get out of here…” He turned his head, and my brow twitched. I then saw that what was stuck to his lips… wasn’t water, wasn’t stomach acid, wasn’t food… it was blood…

A large pool of blood, under the thin night sky, before the savage… He suddenly grabbed my hand, his body swaying slightly as if he couldn't support himself, “…I’ll tell you the truth……I’ll tell you the truth…it’s because I…can no longer care about you…Sun Qingshan…this path is the one I chose…but I’m so afraid, afraid that if you say one word, I will abandon everything without hesitation…I…”

Before he could finish speaking, his eyes rolled back and he collapsed to the ground.

Chapter 69

"Is he really alright?!" I couldn't stand up, so I could only sit down and ask Xu Yi.

The healer nodded, still holding his hand on the wild man's wrist, and replied, "It's nothing serious."

"Really?!" I asked skeptically.

"..." Xu Yi lowered his eyes and said no more.

Suddenly he added, "He'll wake up soon, go and fetch a basin of hot water."