If I don't say anything, will he fan himself with his fan, smile, and say to me: "I don't care, I can wait"?
You see, I'm such a greedy person. I can't give him anything, but I still want to keep his warmth by my side.
But what can I say?
I want to say: Lou Xiyue, I've also been poisoned, and I have no idea how to cure myself.
I also want to say: I feel so heartbroken because people who were once close to me have either betrayed me or are about to leave me. What should I do?
These things should not be said.
I've had him by my side for so long, how can I continue to be so selfish?
I said, "Yes."
Lou Xiyue stood silently for a long time, then suddenly smiled and said, "I think so too."
He leaned down, stared intently at me, and wiped my eyes with his sleeve. "In that case, I'll stay here with you until the Princess's Grand Ceremony."
He flicked my forehead. "To be honest, someone as stupid as you... I really can't imagine how anyone would trust Jiang..."
Chapter 8
"The mountain is yours."
The evening bell tolls.
It is now the fourth day of the Spring Festival. Smoke rises from all four sides of the main hall, gradually ascending into the sea of clouds.
The wind tossed his hair, and though his face still held a smile, there was no trace of laughter in his eyes.
My temples throbbed and I felt a little dizzy. I said to him, "I remembered that I have some things to tell the Emperor. I will come to the North Garden to find you later."
After speaking, he hurriedly left.
Back in the side hall, he took a Hundred Spirit Pill from his bundle and swallowed it to calm himself down.
I heard a soft "snap" and turned around to see the shadow puppet that Lou Xiyue had given me earlier lying on the ground.
He was a scholar with a feather fan and a silk turban.
My heart skipped a beat; the gloom from before swept back in.
I closed my eyes and took a few sips of tea, trying to distract myself. But as soon as I closed my eyes, all I could think about was Lou Xiyue.
I remember his appearance so clearly. The twilight shone on his blue silk robe. He raised his eyebrows slightly, looked at me quietly, and said in a low voice: "Qi Xiang, I have never seen such a silly girl as you."
"From beginning to end, I was just an outsider, wasn't I?"
I covered my eyes with my hands, and tears kept falling.
Why am I so sad?
I don't understand, I really don't understand.
After ascending the throne, I will be separated from my master and the Three Dukes by vast distances. I will never see Lou Xiyue again. I will never sit with him in the tavern, drinking and laughing. I will never ride with him on our travels again.
Unable to bear thinking any longer, I leaned against the edge of the bed and burst into tears. In this world, I was all alone; there was no one left to rely on.
As night deepened to the hour of Hai (9-11 PM), the moonlight was cold and clear.
I got up and walked to the North Garden. I gently pushed open the door and saw Lou Xiyue already asleep, her eyes closed, leaning against the couch.
He did not undress or take off his hair; several long-necked wine jugs were scattered haphazardly beside the couch, and he smelled faintly of alcohol.
I sat on the edge of the tatami mat and gently traced his forehead with my hand.
The curtains were lifted by the wind, and the silvery moonlight shone on his profile. It was the first time I had looked at him so closely; the light was just right.
I stared at him for a long time, wanting to remember his face.
The window was suddenly blown open by the wind with a loud bang.
I was about to get up and close the window when someone grabbed my wrist.
He grabbed my waist with his other hand, pulled me over, and pinned me beneath him.
Before I could even utter a sound, he had already kissed me deeply.
He held me so tightly, as if he wanted to meld me into his body. His lips traced down from my brow, gradually descending, before he captured my lips in a deep, passionate kiss. Our lips and teeth intertwined, our tongues entwined, urgent and fervent. My lips and tongue were filled with his flavor, making it almost impossible for me to breathe.