Xiao Yan laughed and said, "Trying to look cool!"
Hu Ni swirled the wine glass in her hand and said, "Actually, I wanted to leave a few months ago, but I didn't expect to stay for several months."
"What does your family do? Do you have any money?" Xiaoyan asked.
Hu Ni paused for a moment, took a sip of her drink, and said, "I have no money."
Xiao Yan leaned back and said, "It won't be like our family, where both my parents lost their jobs, right?"
Hu Ni took another sip of wine, remaining noncommittal about Xiao Yan's words.
"How unlucky!"
Hu Ni smiled, but it was a forced smile.
Xiao Yan asked curiously, "Where did you work before? Before you came to our company?"
Hu Ni suddenly felt a desire to tell the truth, and she said, "I study at XX University."
Xiao Yan laughed dismissively: "Well, I'm still studying at Tsinghua University! Damn! Who do you think you are! I don't believe you can recognize all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet."
Hu Ni smiled too, a smile tinged with bitterness.
Xiao Yan asked, feigning seriousness, "So how did you end up working as a receptionist here? Do you have to start from the bottom?" There was a hidden smile in Xiao Yan's eyes as she spoke.
Hu Ni then casually remarked, "I was expelled before I even finished second grade."
Xiao Yan burst into laughter, looking quite excited: "What's the reason? A teacher-student relationship?"
Hu Ni laughed and said, "Yes! I even got pregnant with my teacher's child, but when I went to get an abortion, the school found out and I was expelled!"
Xiao Yan laughed, slamming her hands violently on the table. Hu Ni also laughed loudly, tilting her head back, until tears streamed down her face.
Xiao Yan finally stopped laughing, and said breathlessly, "When I was a graduate student at school, I had an affair with that toothless old professor at our school, and we had an illegitimate child. As a result, I was expelled!"
The two burst into laughter again. Suddenly, Hu Ni walked to the tatami, lay down, and said facing inward, "I'm sleepy, I'm going to take a nap."
Xiao Yan pulled her aside, saying, "Go sleep in the bedroom! It's not comfortable sleeping here!"
Hu Ni remained motionless.
Xiao Yan smiled and said, "I was drunk and talking nonsense. I'm going to sleep now." Then she lay down next to Hu Ni and fell fast asleep.
When Hu Ni heard that there was no more movement behind her, she reached out and wiped away the tears on her cheeks.
The bottle of Dynasty dry red wine on the bar was almost empty, with only a small portion left.
Pretty Friend (Part 7)
gold
I was jolted awake by Xiaoyan's phone call; it was already seven o'clock. After answering, Xiaoyan wouldn't let Hu Ni leave, insisting that Hu Ni have dinner with her, saying that Zhang Yong wouldn't be home for dinner because he had a business dinner that night.
Xiao Yan pulled Hu Ni downstairs, made a phone call to order food, then turned on the home theater and put on Stephen Chow's "Fight Back to School." They then took some fruit from the refrigerator, and the two of them sat there, munching on the chilled fruit, letting out silly laughs.
The food was served quickly and was quite plentiful. There was a plate of stir-fried baby squid with pickled peppers, a dish of fish with sauerkraut, a dish of braised pork with bitter melon, a dish of stir-fried greens, and a dish of cold noodles. Hu Ni watched as the young man delivering the food set out the dishes one by one, slowly filling the table. She knew that Xiao Yan was just used to being poor and lacked a sense of security; now that she had something to hold onto, she wanted to hold on tight.
Around 10 PM, Hu Ni insisted on going home. Xiao Yan tried to persuade her to stay, saying she didn't like being alone. Hu Ni remained adamant about leaving. She couldn't allow herself to become accustomed to such a comfortable environment; becoming accustomed to and dependent on it would be cruel to her because she didn't have it. Just like how she didn't allow herself to get used to snacking.
Sitting on the bus, the street scene blurred past. The bus slowly moved forward, and Hu Ni suddenly felt lost, unsure of where she was going, what kind of place lay ahead, and perhaps, what she wanted there. Xiao Yan's marriage had spurred Hu Ni to leave as soon as possible; she wanted to find a city of her own, a life of her own, a future of her own. Chongqing wasn't right for her; it wasn't very developed, and there weren't many opportunities. Hu Ni wanted to strive for a better city. A proletarian without ties is most likely to abandon what little they have to gain in order to achieve something better.
Pretty Friend (8)
gold
The next day at work, the supervisor brought over a woman who was still stunningly beautiful and introduced her to Hu Ni. Hu Ni knew that she would be working with this girl named Xiao Rui from now on.
Xiao Rui had the same arrogance as Xiao Yan back then. She used to work as a hostess at the front desk of another company. When she heard that someone was leaving, she came for an interview before the job advertisement in the newspaper even came out.
On the first day, Hu Ni felt particularly out of place; she had gotten used to Xiao Yan. In a few days, it would be Xiao Yan's wedding day.
Hu Ni went through the motions of dealing with the passing crowds. She wanted to leave; this city never truly belonged to her. But where did she belong? Hu Ni believed she would find it. She was only twenty-two, an age where she could still have many dreams.
Hu Ni spotted Xiao Gang; he looked visibly haggard and disheveled, and the light in his eyes had dimmed. He walked towards Hu Ni and asked, "Where's Xiao Yan?"
Hu Ni said, "I resigned."
Xiao Gang turned and walked away, his once upright back now hunched over.
Hu Ni smiled as she told a customer that the sporting goods were on the seventh floor, thinking to herself that she should resign. After resigning, she could go to Shenzhen or Hainan; in 1992, both places were incredibly alluring to young people. Zhang Yong had also gone to Hainan a couple of years earlier, made his fortune, and then returned to Chongqing to start his own company. Those places should be full of opportunities. And, there were coconut palms swaying in the breeze, ocean waves, and a gentle, romantic atmosphere.
Pretty Friend (9)
gold
Hu Ni sat curled up on the sofa by the window, her hands supporting her chin. Her hair was loose and a little messy, and her deep black eyes stared at an "artistic photo" on the wall, its true appearance obscured by a soft-focus lens. Then, her mind exaggeratedly imagined "Hainan"—the sea of Hainan, the sky so blue it seemed unreal, the tall coconut trees… It was like imagining how wonderful a bowl of noodles would taste before you could have a good appetite.
The dressing room door opened, and Xiaoyan emerged wearing a bright red cheongsam with a high slit and a phoenix collar. She bowed her head, twirled a few times in front of Hu Ni, and asked, "How is it?"
Hu Ni straightened up, shook her head, and exclaimed, "So beautiful!"
Xiao Yan proudly raised her head and looked at Hu Ni, saying, "What's gotten into you today? You didn't say anything bad about that dress! I never knew you were so hypocritical!"
Hu Ni said irritably, "Then ask me!"
Xiao Yan smiled and said ingratiatingly, "Are you serious? Which one looks better?"
Hu Ni said, "The one with the stand-up collar looks better, the one with the higher collar."
"Why?"
"That one is a bit further away from the traditional style, it's been modified, it has a modern feel, it's more stylish."
Xiao Yan smiled and pinched Hu Ni's cheek, saying, "Then I'll listen to you."
Xiao Yan smiled and went to the changing room to change her clothes. After paying, she resolutely headed towards another stall.
It was past six o'clock in the afternoon when the two girls carried a lot of bags home.
Hu Ni accompanied Xiao Yan back home. In two days, it would be Xiao Yan's wedding day. Xiao Yan had temporarily moved to her "parents' home" to wait for the groom to come and marry her.
Xiaoyan's house already has air conditioning; with one person's success, even their relatives and friends benefit. Her home has undergone a dramatic transformation, becoming completely "modernized." She's the one who married Zhang Yong, but her family has clearly received a lot of preferential treatment. The expressions on Xiaoyan's entire family reveal the joy of their daughter's impending marriage, and even more so, the satisfaction of having married a good son-in-law. Xiaoyan's parents' tone carries a hint of ingratiation, which Xiaoyan interprets as a sign that she's married a wealthy man, leading to increased contempt and defiance towards her parents.
Xiaoyan started receiving more phone calls, with classmates and friends constantly calling to congratulate her. Hu Ni realized that Xiaoyan actually had many friends.
There was nothing else to do, so Hu Ni got up and went back. Xiao Yan draped Hu Ni's arm over her arm and said, "You have to come early tomorrow! You're not allowed to go back to sleep tomorrow, you have to stay here with me."
Hu Ni agreed and walked outside.
The outer room also had air conditioning, and no one was playing mahjong anymore. A 29-inch Philips full-screen color TV replaced the old 21-inch one. Xiaoyan's parents were preparing for their daughter's wedding the day after tomorrow. Grandma, trembling, was also "supervising" from the sidelines. Xiaoyan's father was reciting congratulatory messages in Chongqing-accented Mandarin like a primary school student, while Xiaoyan's mother listened attentively, occasionally noting down areas for improvement. In fact, much of the preparation had already been completed by today.
Hu Ni didn't want to disturb them, but she still said, "Grandma, Uncle, Aunt, I'll go now, you all go ahead!"
The family stopped their activities: "Hu Ni is leaving now, take care, come early tomorrow, thank you for your hard work these past two days..."
Sitting on the bus, Hu Ni looked at this city that had nothing to do with her. She had lived here for two years, hoping it would be a new beginning, a chance to rise above the stagnant surface. Ultimately, it had brought her nothing, nor a new beginning. She came as she came, and she would leave the same way. The proletariat, possessing the most thorough revolutionary spirit, Hu Ni deeply understood this statement made by a great man. Now, Hu Ni could easily give up everything, because she had almost nothing, even if it meant abandoning one city and choosing another to continue living. Hope lay in the new city.
Xiaoyan is right. China is now redefining social classes, and class divisions are becoming increasingly clear. Even without class divisions, no one would willingly live a mediocre life in a stagnant pool, watching others live vibrant lives. Hu Ni understood her mother's desperate hysteria back then, and she also understood the helpless feeling her mother had when she asked her to live her life in Shanghai again.
Hu Ni didn't really understand what she was looking for, but escaping mediocrity was urgent and resolute; it was an age where she had reason and the means to dream.
Looking out the window, the future seems uncertain, yet it is also full of hope.
Striving is an unquestionable goal. Although I'm not entirely clear on what exactly I'm striving for.
Pretty Friend (10)
gold
Entering the alley again, the scene was already very familiar and welcoming, the familiar mixed smells, and the familiar people still living the same way. Some were relaxing on deck chairs outside, some were playing mahjong, some were eating, and some were playing the erhu and singing Sichuan opera under the shade of the trees. Hu Ni suddenly felt a lump in her throat. She had gotten used to everything here.
Pushing open the red door, the young couple, who hadn't argued for days, were arguing again. The woman's voice was sharp and hoarse as she accused the man of infidelity.
Hu Ni went upstairs, locked herself in the sweltering room, and began packing her luggage. The novella she had finished writing but hadn't yet submitted was carefully placed at the bottom of her bag. Her luggage remained simple; before she unpacked her things on the bed, a small bag could hold everything. This was the advantage of not buying new things—if she wanted to leave, she could leave easily without dealing with trivial matters.
The neighbors were still arguing fiercely, their voices trembling with the sharp sounds of slaps and physical fights. Hu Ni lit a cigarette and sat at the table by the window. The tomatoes on the rooftop across the street were already red, and women's nightgowns, shorts, and bras still fluttered from bamboo poles, along with men's baggy shorts and T-shirts. From someone's television, a Sichuan opera was still playing softly, its sounds fading into the distance amidst the young couple's bickering.
Tonight is Hu Ni's last night here. Hu Ni wants to remember all of this. Enveloped in familiar air and mixed sounds, Hu Ni's tears flowed and fell onto her chest with a crisp sound.
Suddenly, I thought of Xiao Wen, and I couldn't help but think of him.
"Hu Ni!" Hu Ni couldn't discern the source of the call, but it was undeniably real. Hu Ni looked around in the darkness, but couldn't find a single creature making the sound.
"Hu Ni!"
"Hu Ni!"
Hu Ni was gently pulled back from her sleep. She opened her sleepy eyes and found herself surrounded by the endless darkness of the city. The noisy sounds had subsided, and the Sichuan opera singing on the television sounded exceptionally clear and distant.
"Hu Ni!" The call came from downstairs; it was Xiao Yan's voice. Hu Ni was fully awake. She jumped up, ran to the window, and pulled back the curtains. She saw Xiao Yan standing downstairs, with Xiao Gang beside her.
Hu Ni slipped on her slippers and ran downstairs to open the door, making a loud noise on the floor. Opening the red door, under the streetlight, Xiao Yan stood there with red, swollen eyes, and Xiao Gang also had a gloomy face.
Once upstairs, Hu Ni came out, leaving the two gloomy guys in the room, and wandered aimlessly through the alleyways.
In the alley, some people, wanting to enjoy the cool breeze outside, slept on deck chairs outside their homes, and the alley didn't feel deserted even late at night.
Sitting under the big banyan tree, swatting at the mosquitoes that kept sneaking up on me, I thought of Xiaoyan and Xiaogang, their bodies entwined warmly on the bamboo mat. These childhood sweethearts, these fragile lovers who couldn't withstand the slightest shock, these lovers who couldn't resist each other, these young lovers who didn't know how to cherish each other.
Pretty Friend (11)
gold
On the night Xiaoyan was to be married, many people came to her house, all of them her friends—young girls, each with the delicate, smooth skin, vivid features, charming expressions, and cheerful personalities typical of Chongqing women. The small room suddenly became crowded, unable to contain the lively atmosphere.
Hu Ni felt that perhaps it would have been better if she hadn't come; she didn't know how to fit in with such a large group. She had never tried interacting with so many people before. But she still decided to stay, for Xiao Yan, Hu Ni's only friend besides Qiu Ping.
Outside the bustling crowd, Hu Ni remained silent, unsure how to join in the carefree laughter and merriment with the other girls.
Xiaoyan's hair had to be combed in the night, so she couldn't sleep all night. Xiaoyan's parents were spinning like tops, busy running around. Xiaoyan's maternal grandmother, sitting next to Xiaoyan as she did her hair, trembled her toothless mouth and mumbled some very old-fashioned, women's topics.
The girls laughed and talked to themselves, swearing all the while.
Hu Ni sat on a chair in the corner, lit a cigarette, and looked at the happy women in the room. She knew they were capable of being happy; they had their own families and friends in their own city—how could they not be happy? Xiao Yan was still sitting upright in front of the dressing table, the hairdresser meticulously working on Xiao Yan's already elaborate hairstyle.
Hu Ni truly wished she were just one of the ordinary people among them, no longer needing to search—to search for a city of her own, to search for a life of her own. The day after tomorrow, Hu Ni would leave this place, leave this city to which she had given so much; this place didn't belong to her. She still had to search, until she found it. But what exactly was she searching for? That was a vague answer.
In the early hours of the morning, the girls were all sprawled out on Xiaoyan's bed, sleeping soundly. Those who hadn't taken up a bed lay down on the bamboo mats on the floor, all fast asleep.
Xiao Yan's wedding makeup was finished. She turned to Hu Ni, who was still sitting beside her, and asked, "How is it?"
Xiaoyan's hair was pulled up, with a few strands seemingly unintentionally falling across her face. She wore a plain white, floor-length wedding dress, somewhat incongruous with the occasion, but this was the prevailing trend in China for years. Wedding dresses weren't worn to churches, but rather to hotels for the banquet. No one was surprised, as most weddings in China nowadays were like this. An ancient civilization with a long history had become so bewildered about weddings that it had lost its own traditions, resulting in weddings that seemed somewhat incongruous. The bride, in her pure white gown, moved amidst lavish feasts and spilled drinks. The wedding was reduced to a meal. Hu Ni unconsciously imagined her own wedding: a pure white wedding dress, because wedding dresses were truly beautiful, but it had to be in a church, a solemn vow before God to marry, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, to be faithful to each other. A wedding should be solemn and sacred.
With such meticulous embellishment, Xiao Yan's beauty is almost blinding.
Hu Ni smiled and said, "Shocking!"
Xiao Yan laughed and looked at herself in the mirror from both sides: "Really?"