Chapter 64, number 064
The thought flashed through Yi Heye's mind for a moment, but he dared not think about it any further.
He had a vague feeling that if he continued to delve into this topic, he would come to some unpleasant conclusions, so he quickly shifted his attention and went to find Chen Sang.
The girl has largely returned to normal, showing no signs of mania or agitation, but she is clearly exhausted, both physically and mentally, and her head is still spinning.
She staggered forward a couple of steps, then, panting, sat down wearily on the ground.
Yi Heye thought for a moment, then put the cigarette back in his mouth and sat cross-legged next to her.
There was no unusual smell of drugs on her, which at least ruled out a large portion of the strong-smelling inhaled drugs.
Yi Heye secretly glanced at her under the moonlight, then pretended to brush the dust off her shoulder, and secretly took a strand of hair and put it away.
Chen Sang was already careless, and being under the influence of drugs, he was completely oblivious to his actions.
Yi Heye glanced at her, then casually raised his hand and waved it almost in front of her face.
Chen Sang still didn't react, only lowering her head and randomly scratching her hair, fanning herself to keep warm despite the slightly cool weather. Yi Heye wasn't good at showing concern for people, nor was he very capable of doing anything, so he could only sit beside her and keep her company.
After a long while, Chen Sang lazily spoke up: "Xiao Ye, break up with him."
Yi Heye, who was already somewhat wary of this topic, almost bit his tongue upon hearing this, and after a long while, he stammered, "...Hmm?"
"People who have been exposed to this stuff shouldn't touch it." Chen Sang sighed, as if she were talking about Jian Yunxian, but it seemed more like she was talking about herself.
Yi Heye didn't dare to say anything, nor did he know how to say anything. He just sighed and listened to her.
"You're so foolish, how could you get involved with someone like that?" Chen Sang murmured. "Look at me like this... sigh..."
Yi Heye was about to say something when he was interrupted.
"Damn, I remember now, that guy said you two got along really well in bed," Chen Sang said with a sudden realization. "You don't think he's got extra energy after taking drugs, do you? Damn, that's all temporary, let me tell you. After taking drugs, he doesn't even know who he's slept with... If you use this stuff too much, you'll get erectile dysfunction sooner or later, and then you won't even be able to get it up..."
Yi Heye was speechless and suddenly felt guilty towards Jian Yunxian.
So he quickly sent the other party a message, informing him of this new persona: "I told Chen Sang that you do drugs."
The person on the other end was quite understanding: "OK."
After thinking it over, he added a message: "She said you have erectile dysfunction. Should I explain this to you?"
First, they sent an ellipsis, then another message: "No need, you know I'm not impotent."
Yi Heye thought of the phone's super long battery life, which was back-to-back with his phone, and his heart skipped a beat. He quickly put the phone back in his pocket.
His mind was inexplicably in turmoil, and he decided not to speak to Jian Yunxian again until tonight.
He looked up at Chen Sang, who was staring blankly to the side, and asked, "What about you? Don't you have a boyfriend?"
Chen Sang blinked, expressionless: "I've dated a few. The first one who was my boyfriend is gone. Later I dated some who weren't, but they all couldn't stand me and we broke up."
Under the moonlight, her expression twitched, and it took her a long time to finally manage an ugly smile.
“But I’ve slept with a lot of people, people I know and people I don’t know, all sorts of people.” She said in a forcedly relaxed tone, “I’ve had so many abortions, I probably can’t get pregnant now, and I don’t dare to go to the hospital to get checked, I probably have a bunch of dirty diseases.”
Chen Sang glanced at Yi Heye, then consciously distanced herself from him: "I know I'm very dirty and shouldn't touch people, but I can't control myself after each encounter... on the street, in hotels, in parks, everywhere. Few men passing by can resist me..."
“Besides you, my dear Taiwanese boy.” But she quickly changed the subject, “It’s not like I haven’t been with gay people before, but someone as purely gay as you is the first I’ve ever met…”
Yi Heye had already buried his head in his knees—okay, he knew he was gay, could he please stop stamping his own name on it repeatedly?
Chen Sangdong started talking about random things, and before long he was done, he had gone off-topic.
"Xiao Ye, I fucking really love singing," Chen Sang said helplessly. "When I was little, I loved to drag you guys over to listen to me sing, do you remember?"
Yi Heye nodded: "Yes, I remember."
As a child, Chen Sang was cheerful and outgoing, beautiful, and had a great talent for singing. She was always the leader of the children in the slums.
Yi Heye remembered that she often gathered her companions together and forced them to hold personal concerts. He was unfortunately caught as an audience member a few times, and he still remembers it vividly.
“I’ve always wanted to be on stage, Ono,” Chen said. “I always felt that as long as I stand on the stage, I will be seen by people.”
"All I wanted to do was stand on stage and sing a song," Chen Sang said, her voice trembling with tears. "I even got scammed because of it. Mu Mu was right, I'm a fucking idiot. My brain is full of nothing but singing..."
Yi Heye asked, "How did you trick me?"
"That manager I mentioned... he lied to me and said he could get me into the industry. I worked so hard preparing so many songs, practicing every day, from morning till night, and I didn't even get to see a stage..." Chen Sang said sadly, "I brought this on myself..."
Yi Heye: "Manager? Is that the guy you were talking about who tricked you into doing drugs?"
Upon hearing this, Chen Sang frowned: "Don't ask anymore, Ono. This is something I can't say, unless you want my life..."
Yi Heye didn't know if she was exaggerating in her statement, but he knew that she really couldn't get anything out of her.
Seeing that he remained silent, Chen Sang brought the topic back to the present: "Xiao Ye, to be honest, you should break up with him."
Feeling guilty, Yi Heye could only hold his breath and dare not utter a sound when he heard this topic.
"Why would he be so foolish?" Chen Sang sighed heavily. "He's handsome, rich, caring, and even willing to correct his mistakes for you. If he hadn't gotten involved with prostitutes and drugs, I would have broken your legs and stuffed them back in if you wanted to break up with him..."
Yi Heye broke out in a cold sweat. He dared not say that the advantages listed earlier were all true, but the two "fatal flaws" at the end were false.
He dared not say it, for fear that Chen Sang would really break his legs and stuff him into Jian Yunxian's bed.
Chen Sang finally managed to regain consciousness by dawn. Yi Heye followed her back to the underground rehearsal room, randomly picked a spot, and planned to take a short nap to recover.
The tension that had lasted all day finally eased the moment he closed his eyes, and a flood of questions he had been trying to suppress rushed into his mind.
Then a voice grew louder and louder in his mind—Yi Heye, admit it, you're gay.
Yi Heye, who had just closed his eyes, was immediately startled awake, and the shock made it impossible for him to fall back asleep.
He rolled over on the cold, hard floor, looking at the dark room in front of him, and with the sound of the drunkards snoring all around him, he slowly calmed his panic.
Then he calmed down and tried to find some examples to refute it. So he began to review his mental journey over the years.
When he was a child, around the age of elementary school, he was withdrawn and eccentric, and had few friends. However, because he was good-looking, he had many admirers.
He had both boys and girls pursuing him, but the relationships always ended with him being scared to tears or the other person crying in despair. In short, none of them left him with any good impressions.
At that time, I was probably really clueless. I didn't like either men or women, and I might even have had a tendency to hate people.
Then, when I went to middle school, my grades were terrible, I had a bad temper and loved to cause trouble, and I was almost infamous at school.
Back then, those who liked him were immature teenagers like him, who were easily fooled by his "rebellious youth" label, or older women from society, or lewd gay men who liked to grope him.
Although he was a jerk back then, he looked down on the fools who had such poor taste that they fell for him, so he never had a single experience of being moved.
Later, even though Yi Heye was slow to understand things, he finally entered the restless period of adolescence.
Faced with rapid physical development, he also learned some self-soothing techniques without being taught.
However, looking back, Yi Heye realized that he seemed to have gone astray from that time on. He had just lost his left arm, and the huge and intense stimulation and the growth of puberty arrived almost at the same time. Before he could enjoy the happiness of a normal teenager, he was pulled into an even more intense level.
While his classmates relied on movies or novels to pass the long nights, he had begun to depend on the stimulation of pain. Nobody understood him, and he knew he wasn't normal, so he never shared it with anyone.
So at that time, he didn't have anyone to fantasize about. He didn't need to think about anyone's face or body, or rather, he didn't have time to.
Under such intense stimulation, the mind goes completely blank, and who can care whether they like men or women?
Later, I entered society early and started working for the organization, busy every day, and suppressed my restless impulses.
For a long time, he would go home and fall asleep immediately. Occasionally, on rainy or damp days, when the pain at the severed part of his arm was intense, he would be driven by the pain to unleash his male biological instincts. But just like that, he didn't want to, and couldn't think about, anyone.
Therefore, he must be someone that neither men nor women like; he only likes "pain"—this kind of Yi Heye, it seems more reasonable to say that he is in love with pain than to put him in the same category as any other living individual.
That was true at least until recently.
Yi Heye forced himself to remain calm and continued to think—when did he begin to have feelings for men?
Jian Yunxian's words immediately flashed through his mind: "When Mr. Yi masturbates, whose face does he think of?"
The moment that voice echoed in his mind, Yi Heye broke out in a cold sweat.
Then, he uncontrollably went through the whole process again—kissing that guy, watching that guy do push-ups while huddled under the covers, his hand hurting from being pressed down by that guy, back to back with that guy…
It's over. Yi Heye seemed to have realized something; the problem seemed to have gotten much worse.
He clenched his fists weakly, and began his daily routine of blaming someone again—
That wretched Jian Yunxian, what kind of psychological magic did he use to turn himself into this?!
Author's Note:
It's a love magic called "Mei-Sex" (I'm sure).
Chapter 65, number 065
Yi Heye barely slept during that sleep.
The moment he closed his eyes, Jian Yunxian appeared in front of him, circling around. Just as he raised his hand to slap him, the guy dodged with a "heh heh," infuriating him.
Gradually, this guy's image merged with SHEEP's; he grew ram horns on his head and even stuck out his ram tongue to lick his face.
Yi Heye instantly felt like he was drooling, and he felt terrible.
Awakening groggily, Yi Heye opened his eyes and saw a snow-white sheep's rump almost touching the tip of his nose.
In a daze, he almost thought he was still dreaming, and almost reached out and grabbed the dead sheep's tongue and flung it away.
Seeing his startled expression, the little lamb lazily rolled over, resting its face on one hoof and touching its leg with the other, striking a seductive pose like a concubine emerging from a bath.
"Hi, Leopard~"
Yi Heye was initially disgusted by his address, but then realized there were many people around, so he quickly pulled up the blanket and wrapped the guy in it.
He forgot that the thing was a projection, and the blanket went right through the projection, wrapping himself inside and keeping the lamb out.
"Knock knock!" the little lamb called from outside the blanket, "Open Sesame!"
Sesame fumed under the covers for a few seconds, then reluctantly opened the door and poked her head out, whispering to block his view: "What are you doing here?"
The little lamb blew him a kiss with tender affection: "Because I guessed you were thinking of me."
Normally, Yi Heye would have already broken his hoof by now, but this time, a strange sense of guilt prevented him from acting impulsively. Instead, he put on a stern face and used silence to warn him to speak properly.
"Oh..." The little lamb saw his expression and reflexively became more composed. "Because there's something important I need to tell you now."