Huancheng Shen Shen

Capítulo 39

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Song Xiaohua had no idea how she managed to prepare lunch, lull Lu Ling to sleep, and then chase away Song Wuque, who had been refusing to leave her side. In short, by the time she came to her senses, she had unknowingly left the house and was wandering aimlessly along a quiet, deserted path.

The bright, golden sun overhead seemed to pierce through everything in the world.

He risked his life for a white ferret, simply because it resembled the one his deceased wife had once owned. No wonder he painted that picture the very night he returned…

That ferret must have stirred up his longing for his deceased wife again, right? At that moment, even if he had been shot through the heart, he wouldn't have regretted it, would he? Did he think at that moment that it would be good to just die like that, because he would finally be free from the torment of longing?

miss……

His longing is reserved for only one person.

Sadly, that person was not Song Xiaohua.

What kind of deep affection could drive someone to such recklessness? To disregard their young son, their newlywed wife, and to risk their life for something completely unrelated.

It was simply because there was a slight resemblance. It was simply because that resemblance awakened a deep-seated longing within him.

Faced with such deep affection, Song Xiaohua felt utterly powerless, so powerless that she was almost in despair.

Tired from walking, I casually leaned against a still-tender sapling and sat down. Looking up at the sharp, knife-like sunlight, I burned the tears in my eyes into invisible vapors that scattered and escaped.

In the end, I can't help but care; in the end, I still have to compete with someone who is no longer here.

However, how to fight for it? What can we use to fight for it?

What is she in Lu Ziqi's heart? A marriage contract, a responsibility, a habit, a life partner he has to accept.

From beginning to end, he never expressed any feelings for her, did he? From beginning to end, it was her performing a one-woman show, clinging to him relentlessly, wasn't it?

He has already done enough and done enough. She shouldn't ask for more, shouldn't hope for more, and shouldn't be fixated on whether she will receive equal love in return. Instead, she should adjust her mindset and try her best to be a good mother and wife to Ling'er.

Who told her to fall in love first? Since she's in love, why bother with so many other things? She has plenty of time; one day, one day… will that day really come…?

That kind of deep affection, that unwavering and undying love that would never change even in the deepest depths of the underworld—would he ever have it again? Could she ever receive it? If not, if she could never have it…

My eyes hurt so much...

He closed his eyes, lowered his head, curled up his knees, and buried himself in his arms.

I don't want to think about it anymore. I'm not going to dwell on these vague and unrealistic things. Living each day to the fullest is what matters most. Love is about giving, not taking. Giving is the happiest thing in the world. Rewards are just fleeting clouds...

Pah! Go to hell! Let this bullshit fool the devil!

She, Song Xiaohua, is not a saint, never has been!

She was jealous, she was upset, she was heartbroken, she wanted to scream, she wanted to cry...

She really wanted to cry, but why couldn't she? Had all her tears evaporated, leaving not a single drop? Were her tear ducts blocked? Were her tear ducts clogged?

It was so quiet around her, as if she were the only person in the whole world.

Mom and Dad... my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew, I'm so lonely...

Author's Note: I saw many people saying it needed to be angsty, so here it is...

Chapter Forty-Three: Giving Up

Outside the ancient pavilion, golden leaves danced between the two silent figures, while not far away, two fine horses stood side by side.

After a moment, the silence was broken: "You went to see her?" The voice was clear and gentle, without any discernible emotion.

"Are you going to see her?" The question was asked instead of answered, the slightly hoarse voice filled with sarcasm.

His brow furrowed, and his narrow eyes slanted upwards even more noticeably: "Answer my question!"

She raised an eyebrow, her eyes narrowing slightly as usual: "Yes. Now it's your turn to answer."

"No. What do you want with her?"

"Give her something. What are you doing here?"

"Just looking around. What is it?"

"What's it to you?"

Silence.

A moment later, a woman's laughter gradually rose, growing louder and louder, startling the birds in the trees into flight, making the horses nearby restless, and causing Yelü Ping to tremble uncontrollably: "When did you become such a timid person? Just ask whatever you want to ask!"

Yuan Hao's pupils contracted slightly, a smile appearing on his face, but his eyes flashed with a cold light: "Did you hurt her?"

The laughter abruptly ceased, his face turning icy: "If I were to hurt her, what would you do? Avenge her? Do you dare? Do you even have the right?"

His smile widened, but the cold glint in his eyes intensified: "You want to verify? Why don't you try!"

Yelü Ping's phoenix eyes gradually concealed their mockery, and sorrow welled up: "You are ultimately not as good as him."

That gentle man who resolutely declared, "The hatred for killing my wife is irreconcilable," and that upright man who openly faced the love and affections he cherished.

If only he were just a minor county magistrate, she could have disregarded everything and forced herself to be with him. Even if it meant deception, robbery, or kidnapping, she would have been willing to bear his hatred for a lifetime just to be with him. But she never expected his family background. Ultimately, she couldn't bring herself to drag the entire Liao Dynasty into this quagmire for her own selfish desires.

The life, death, honor, and disgrace of a county magistrate are insignificant; the cowardly Song court would never risk disrupting the carefully maintained facade of peace for him. But he is different. If he truly acts on impulse, the consequences could very well be far more severe, causing chaos and turmoil.

That day in the woods, I truly wanted to shoot the woman riding so leisurely and happily on horseback with an arrow. What right did she have to openly and honestly spend her life with him as his wife?!

Hearing him utter those eight words so resolutely, a thought suddenly flashed through my mind: If I can't have it, then I might as well destroy it!

She'd turn the arrow around and kill the man she could never have, paying with her own life. In the underworld, free from the entanglements of mortal life, she refused to believe she couldn't be his ghostly husband and wife. At worst, she'd storm the King of Hell's palace and force him to officiate their marriage!

However, how could they bring themselves to do it?

After all, he was the man she deeply loved...

That's it. If I can't have it, I can't destroy it. What else can I do but let go?

However, I was unwilling to accept it.

To smile and wish your beloved a long and happy life with another woman is a foolish and incompetent act. How could you not sow the seeds of future trouble for your misplaced affection?

Do you know the differences between men and women?

Yuan Hao didn't know how to answer this seemingly random question, so he just glanced at him sideways and remained silent.

Yelü Ping, however, seemed not to intend to get an answer from him. He smiled lightly and continued on his own: "You investigated Lu Ziqi's background and identity, focusing on the role that his family's power could play in future power struggles. As for me, I only care about the sable that his deceased wife kept."

Having said that, he turned straight to his mount: "Don't worry, I didn't lay a finger on her. But I suggest you stop pretending to enjoy the scenery. Now is the perfect opportunity for you to seize the moment and win her heart." He mounted his horse, took the reins, and turned it around: "I'll be waiting for you in the Liao Dynasty!"

Before the words were even finished, the woman in red with black hair had already vanished into the distance.

The withered leaves fell more rapidly and densely, adding a touch of desolation to the blue hue.

Inside this pavilion, two people are sweetly embracing. Outside this pavilion, two figures are holding hands.

Why linger here? Is it to remember that smiling face, or to force yourself to give up and stop disturbing the happiness that doesn't belong to him?

give up……

That word had never appeared in his life!

Yelü Ping was right. She fought desperately but had to give up in the end, while he never took a single step forward before giving up on his own initiative. Therefore, he was more pathetic than her.

He shook his head and chuckled softly, his expression full of self-deprecation.

sad……

In this situation, who is more pathetic than whom?

There was nothing particularly important going on these past few days, and he didn't leave the territory of 'North Cliff'. He just spent most of his time in the outskirts of remote cities, accompanying Yelü Ping to hunt an extremely rare white sable.

He followed her tirelessly through the dense forest, searching for prey with her like a madwoman, watching her joy mixed with many complex emotions after capturing the ferret, and watching her, who clearly intended to skin and dismember it with a sharp blade, ultimately cut off a tuft of tail hair and released it.

She said it was all because of this white weasel that Lu Ziqi was injured, so the beast had to be killed. She also said that if it weren't for the white weasel, she wouldn't have met Lu Ziqi, so the good and bad deeds canceled each other out, and she shouldn't kill it.

Actually, it's just that I can't bear it, and I don't regret it.

Unable to bear hurting what Lu Ziqi wanted to protect, she had no regrets about investing her life's love into a desperate relationship.

She said she would never fall in love with another man in her life, and that you wouldn't care anyway.

Yeah, I don't care...

He never cared about romantic love; women were merely necessities in his life, and also bargaining chips in his games.