Lian Haiping followed her arm and was stunned again: "That's... 'Haitian Xianting'?"
"'No matter the wind and waves, it's like strolling in a leisurely courtyard.' I wonder if the developer thought the same way, which is why they named it that?" She tilted her head slightly in thought.
“I can only say you have excellent taste,” he sighed. “Has no one told you that a high school teacher can’t afford a house like ‘Haitian Xianting’?”
He pointed to the row of buildings and said seriously, "That's the most expensive residential complex on Binhai Road. Even the most ordinary apartment costs 8,000 yuan per square meter. As for the duplex on the roof, the price is 9,999 yuan."
"Really?" Yu Lele looked at him skeptically.
"So, girl, you can only marry a rich man. Otherwise, you'll probably never be able to afford a house like that in your entire life," he tried to joke.
She finally smiled, raising her hand to shield her eyes from the sunlight streaming through the clouds. Something flashed in her eyes, like a shooting star falling rapidly, gone in an instant.
She thought to herself: Let it be, let it end like this. Even though I know I'm selfish, leaving someone I love and relying on someone who loves me for warmth. I even know I could so easily hurt two people at the same time, but please forgive me, please forgive me, if not, I'm afraid I won't be able to hold on any longer.
I'm so tired.
I've been so tired for so long.
10-4
Kuang Yawei's school was in the suburbs, and it was nearly noon when he arrived at Xu Chen's school after a bumpy ride. He got out of the car and saw Xu Chen standing at the school gate waving at him.
He was furious: "Xu Chen, you don't look like you've just broken up with someone. I think you're just about to find someone new!"
"Who said I'm heartbroken?"
"Really? Then who asked me such a stupid question on the phone last night?" Kuang Yawei mimicked Xu Chen's tone: "Tell me, is going abroad really a good idea? Isn't it a bit of a pity that you haven't even gotten your master's degree yet?"
He said indignantly, "If you weren't heartbroken, why did you go abroad? You want Yu Lele to suffer in a cold cave for eighteen years? Do you think she's Wang Baochuan? Does she look like her? It's only been three years and she's already facing so many crises. How long do you think a girl like her can last?"
One question after another came crashing down on him, and Xu Chen fell silent.
Actually, it's just that I don't want to admit it: as long as I don't admit it, I can pretend nothing happened—you're still here, always have been, and will always be here. Your voice still rings so crisply in my memory, as if the current estrangement is just a dream. When I wake up, I can see you sitting beside me, with a faint smile on your face.
But what if you're not here when I wake up?
Xu Chen sighed softly and walked side by side with Kuang Yawei towards a small restaurant outside the school. Kuang Yawei turned to look at Xu Chen, shook his head, and felt that he had a lot to say but didn't know where to begin.
After thinking for a moment, I still asked, "Have you broken up or not?"
"How do you usually determine if you've broken up?" Xu Chen looked at him. "Does it only count if you say 'Let's break up'?"
"Are you really breaking up?!" Kuang Yawei shouted, not caring whether he was walking in the street or not: "That little brat Yu Lele is outrageous! How can she be so fickle! You two went through so much to get together, and now she just wants to throw it all away?!"
He pointed his finger at Xu Chen: "Don't tell anyone I know you! Do you even look like my brother? Your wife is cheating on you and you don't care, are you even a man?!"
He was furious and spoke recklessly. Passersby occasionally cast curious or puzzled glances at him. Xu Chen instinctively wanted to rush up and punch him to stop talking nonsense, but he raised his hand and then lowered it. The anger in his chest told him that perhaps not everything Kuang Yawei said was nonsense.
Kuang Yawei was furious. Even after sitting down at the table, he was still frowning and cursing nonstop: "You two are really going to drive me crazy! Xu Chen, if you have the guts, go back and chase after your wife! Don't just stand here like a blockhead, you're a complete waste!"
Xu Chen listened to his cursing the whole time, while refilling their beers: "Drink up, let's drink until we're completely drunk today."
"Who said I'd drink myself into oblivion with you?" Kuang Yawei looked at him with a disappointed expression. "I haven't broken up with anyone, why would I drink with you in silence?!"
“Stop cursing,” Xu Chen looked up at Kuang Yawei. “She has her future. Maybe this is for the best.”
"Bullshit!" Kuang Yawei gritted his teeth in anger. "What's that adulterer's name anyway?"
“That’s really harsh,” Xu Chen frowned. “We’re all old classmates. Even if we’ve broken up, you shouldn’t hold such a grudge!”
"What did you say? Xu Chen, say it again!" Kuang Yawei glared at Xu Chen.
Xu Chen sighed, raised his glass, and gently clinked it against Kuang Yawei's glass: "We haven't been in touch for a long time. If I don't call her, she won't call me. Sometimes when I do call, it only lasts for ten seconds before she hangs up. She's always busy and doesn't have time to talk. I know she's waiting for me to speak first, but I just can't bring myself to do it. It's too cruel to cut off my own escape route; I can't do it."
As he spoke, he unconsciously recalled her perfunctory words on the phone, the sounds of cars and voices around her—all of which were unknown lies. An uncontrollable pain washed over him, as if a snake were crawling up his body, without hands or feet, yet cold and slippery, making him instinctively tighten his heart.
"Xu Chen, you've already made up your mind, haven't you?" Kuang Yawei looked at Xu Chen and took a sip of his drink in a sullen voice.
“Actually, breaking up isn’t so bad,” Xu Chen looked up at Kuang Yawei and smiled, “I was originally thinking that if I went back to work, I might run into a lot of my father’s acquaintances, but now that’s the case, I don’t have to go back.”
His gaze drifted to the window, then quickly returned, looking at Kuang Yawei with seemingly happy eyes: "Going abroad or staying here to pursue a PhD is fine, as long as you don't go back, it's good, so you don't have to see so many people you don't want to see, or hear a lot of things you don't want to hear."
Kuang Yawei finally gave up his lecturing. He looked straight at Xu Chen, at the simple smile on his face, and at the suppressed pain within that smile, and finally sighed deeply.
He raised his glass and clinked it against Xu Chen's, making a crisp sound. He said, "Forget it, let bygones be bygones. The relationship is yours to decide; if you don't want it anymore, there's nothing we can do to persuade you."
He downed the wine in his glass in one gulp, his voice gradually lowering: "But Xu Chen, it's really a pity, I'm telling you, it's really a pity."
A bitter feeling welled up in Xu Chen's throat. He took a big gulp of wine, forcing himself to suppress the raging emotions. He smiled and said, "Actually, there are some things I still have to say. If she could say them, why would it have been delayed until today?"
He patted Kuang Yawei on the shoulder: "Thanks for coming to keep me company, brother. Better to get it over with quickly than suffer for a long time. I need to drink more to bolster my courage, and then we'll cut the Gordian knot tonight."
He spoke as if it were a lighthearted conversation, but only he knew that an unbearable heartache was welling up inside him, a pain so intense it made him want to cry.
The day has finally come, and it has to be said, it has to end.
He had heard the truth that "distance kills love," but he never imagined that this fact would be proven true for him.
He took a large gulp of wine, trying to numb the despair and pain in his heart with alcohol. But the pain still surged up relentlessly. He gripped the glass tightly, truly unable to understand: even in her loneliness and sorrow, how could she be so certain that this separation would last a lifetime?
He instinctively took out his phone, thinking dejectedly to himself: You don't believe me, you won't wait for me. How could you be like everyone else, giving up on me without waiting for my explanation? Now, I have nothing left.
His fingers trembled slightly, his eyes were swollen with pain, and his mind was in turmoil.
However, perhaps a century later, he finally closed his phone and didn't send the message.
He looked up at Kuang Yawei across from him, his expression sullen as he drank glass after glass, and looked at the bustling street around him, but strangely, he could no longer hear the noise.
Faintly, only the ticking of a clock could be heard: "Tick-tock," 1 second; "Tick-tock," 2 seconds...
He felt like a patient waiting for death to take him away; though terminally ill, his mind remained sharp. He lay there, counting down the days, each second bringing death closer.
There are 8 hours left until evening.
He thought: Lele, we only have 8 hours left. After these 8 hours, you and I will be like strangers.
And so, we... broke up.
11-1
This section marks the start of the second part of the book, titled "The Unknown Future".
You can listen to Joi Chua's "The Unknown Future" as background music.
I really like the lyrics.
I long to hold your hand and paint the sky I desire.
Life is winding and empty, but with you by my side, I can understand it.
Even in this prosperous world, there are occasional insurmountable sand dunes.
You're trapped in black and white, and all you see is a rainbow.
Dream, with him, can we possibly understand?
Letting go is the best way to possess.
—The Unknown Future (song)
As the CET-4 exam ended once again, Yu Lele fainted outside the exam hall.
It was the time when all the students in the building were handing in their papers and leaving the exam hall, and the stairwell was packed. When Yu Lele felt dizzy, the boy in front of her was still angrily complaining about how inhumane the invigilator was, not even giving her an extra minute to fill in her answer sheet. The girls next to her nodded repeatedly, passionately denouncing the invigilator and the CET-4 exam center. The moment Yu Lele collapsed, the boy in front of her even pushed her back, probably thinking it was a prank, saying, "Stop it, I'm annoyed." But then a girl screamed, and then screams echoed throughout the stairwell, girls shouting, "Someone fainted!"
It was truly a time of war and chaos.
Yu Lele vaguely heard the footsteps, the screams, and the anxious calls of her name. But she couldn't answer, couldn't open her eyes. In the darkness, she felt herself falling into a huge vortex, surrounded by flashes of golden light. Her limbs had lost all strength; she just kept falling, falling, and falling, never able to land.
She lost consciousness during the long, weightless process. She closed her eyes in the darkness, as if that would forever isolate her from the outside world. The last thing she remembered before losing consciousness was a blurry face, its features indistinct, yet it moved before her eyes, calling her name and saying: Goodbye.
Goodbye.
It was an illusion. Perhaps, it was nothing more than an illusion.
Although he was too real—that person, that face, that voice—it was terrifyingly real.
He said: What are you waiting for me to say? If I don't say anything, are you just going to keep waiting?
His voice was so lonely: "I've been thinking about this. Today in class, I got distracted and cut myself. But it's strange, I can't feel any pain."
He said softly: "It turns out that the sharper the knife, the less pain you feel."
He said: Lele, let's break up.
Her heart began to ache, a pain as if it were being stabbed. She looked around; it was pitch black. Clutching her heart, she ran forward, trying to find a place that could heal her before it burst from the pain.
She kept running and running, along that long, dark road, until her legs went numb, but before she could see the light, she suddenly collapsed. A beam of light shone down, and she realized she was sobbing uncontrollably.
...
Were all of these just dreams?
When Yu Lele woke up, it was already getting dark. She had just opened her eyes when she heard a surprised voice beside her: "You're awake?!"
Having just woken from the darkness, Yu Lele's vision was still a little unfocused. She struggled to concentrate, and saw figures in her field of vision gradually become clearer, swaying and calling out. Many hands waved in front of her, asking in a competition-like manner, "Can you see? Can you see?"
There seem to be many people around me.
Xu Yin, Yang Luning, Tie Xin, Lian Haiping, and even Ren Yuan came. They surrounded her, staring at her with eyes full of joy.
Yu Lele was a little confused: Where is this place?
She strained to turn her head and saw the IV drip hanging above her, the liquid dripping slowly. Her left arm felt slightly swollen. Her nose was gradually returning to normal; she could smell the strong odor of Lysol. She frowned slightly—this was the smell she hated most, because every time she smelled it, it meant she had already lost or was about to lose a loved one.
Ren Yuan breathed a sigh of relief: "Yu Lele, you're finally awake. It's good that you're awake."
Xu Yin's face turned pale with fright: "Yu Lele, you're terrifying! Didn't you see how pale you were? You just fell straight down the stairs. If there hadn't been a group of boys coming down the stairs in front of you, you wouldn't even know how you fell."
Tie Xin smiled at her: "You're amazing! We all thought you were in a deep coma, but the doctor said you were just asleep."