His waiting for her was just like her waiting for Xu Chen: knowing she would never forget Xu Chen in her life, knowing he might not return to China even after completing his studies, she still felt a lingering resentment, unwilling to let her love and expectations settle. Perhaps this feeling was also Lian Haiping's.
He waited for Yu Lele to go from looking around expectantly to bowing her head, from waiting patiently to giving up. It seemed that as long as she was waiting for Xu Chen, he would be waiting for her all day long. For her, he was willing to give up the opportunity to pursue graduate studies in the provincial capital; for her, he was willing to stay in this small seaside town—in fact, Yu Lele knew that if he wanted, he would be fully qualified to apply for provincial government positions or even central ministries after graduating with a master's degree from a prestigious university in three years. If it weren't for her, with Lian Haiping's qualities and background, why would he lower his starting point so much?
However, she was unable to give him any promises.
She couldn't promise Lian Haiping any direction until she found her own.
And yet, he was still willing to wait.
It turns out that the most heartbreaking kind of waiting in this world is this kind of endless, yet stubborn and persistent waiting.
Monday arrived in the blink of an eye, and the Chinese Literature Department was once again abuzz with excitement: Yu Lele, who had previously applied for the "13 Cities and Townships Teacher Support Program" organized by the Municipal Youth League Committee, the Education Bureau, and the Personnel Bureau, had successfully passed the review. In August, she will board a train westward to become a teacher in a township not far from Jinzhai Township in Puyin County.
Everyone was surprised: Yu Lele had so willingly abandoned herself in a remote and backward mountain village?
In fact, it wasn't just the teachers and classmates who were surprised—that day, when registering in the hall of the Municipal Youth League Committee, Yu Lele's brilliant resume almost stunned the examiners.
First-class scholarship, member of the Communist Party of China, provincial-level outstanding student, several first prizes in provincial essay competitions, more than 100 articles published in provincial and above publications... That day, almost all the examiners asked: Why would such an outstanding student apply to us?
The implication is: such an excellent student, with a bright future ahead of him, could work anywhere, so why choose to be a rural teacher?
Yu Lele could only answer: I went to Puyin to teach during my sophomore year. I have always wanted to do something for rural education.
The perfect answer made the examiner nod and shake his head repeatedly: nodding because he thought the girl was kind and noble, and shaking his head because he felt it was a bit of a pity.
The students in the department knew that Yu Lele's internship failure was somewhat accidental. She hadn't reached a dead end, so why would she make such a drastic choice?
Xu Yin even asked in bewilderment, "Yu Lele, are you self-harming?"
Yu Lele smiled – it's only natural. Although she has great respect for rural teachers, many people can't bear to see someone they care about suffer.
Only she knows that this time, she hopes to go far away and spend three years or even longer to understand herself.
The future is always unknown, and in the face of those unknowns, we all feel a little lost. The difference between the successful and the unsuccessful lies in this: the successful continue to do what needs to be done while feeling lost, thinking as they go, reflecting on themselves and the road ahead; while the unsuccessful simply stare blankly into the distance, drifting along with the current, letting their fate slide along a predetermined path.
Yu Lele wants to be the former.
She knew that if she stayed in the city, she could still become a teacher at a middle school or elementary school, marry someone, have a home, and live a peaceful life.
It was a life of following the rules and doing things step by step, which might be comfortable and stable, but she couldn't find happiness in it.
Life had worn away too much of her passion and drive, leaving only an inflated rationality. For a long time, she hadn't even known if she still wanted to be a teacher, or if she still wanted to dedicate her life to the classroom. So this time, she would consider it a gamble made with all her remaining "irrationality"—a gamble to tell herself what kind of path she wanted to take.
Because whether to give up or continue, there is always a choice to be made.
A choice made from the heart.
Fortunately, although Pu Yin is far away, she hasn't left the province. She can come back to visit whenever she misses home. After her three-year service period, she will have another chance to choose once she finds the path she wants.
Three years is a buffer, just like many students who choose to pursue graduate studies to buffer their lives. She will also be quietly finding a future for herself in a place with rolling hills.
Many people came to see him off: his father, mother, Yu Tian, Zhuang Yuewei, Meng Xiaoyu, Pang Yi, Xu Yin, Tie Xin, Yang Luning, Lian Haiping, and even Ren Yuan came.
They hugged her and said some words of blessing. Yang Luning, who was about to return to the south, and Tie Xin, who was admitted to graduate school, even shed tears. Lian Haiping, however, did not speak, but just stood there with a smile, as if telling her with his eyes: I am here waiting for you to come back.
In that brief moment when their eyes met, she understood.
Zhuang Yuewei also cried, burying her face in Yu Lele's arms and sobbing uncontrollably. Meng Xiaoyu stood beside her, looking at Yu Lele's admonishing gaze, and whispered, "Teacher, I'm sorry."
She didn't say much, but Yu Lele smiled with relief. She knew that Meng Xiaoyu had grown up after struggling on the brink of death.
Meng Xiaoyu said in a low voice, "Teacher, don't worry."
Yu Lele nodded and looked at him with a smile; she could finally rest assured.
And her mother, holding her hand, smiled and said, "Come home for National Day."
Her voice was full of anticipation.
Yu Lele nodded and gave her mother a tight hug.
The train was finally about to depart. Yu Lele turned around and entered the carriage, seeing people waving at her from outside. When she looked up, she suddenly spotted a familiar figure beside a tall stone pillar not far away.
It's Xu Chen!
That summer, she kept seeing him so suddenly.
Even from that distance, she froze, looking into his eyes and seeing both sorrow and blessing within them.
He stood there quietly, watching her silently, far from the crowd, his solitary figure still exuding an extraordinary aura.
He's still that handsome boy.
Yu Lele's eyes gradually welled up with tears. Only then did she realize that she hadn't had a chance to tell him: You look very handsome in your white doctor's coat.
How she wished she could see him by her side for the rest of her life, wearing a white doctor's coat, smiling at her.
That smile, piercing through the thick fog, cast a path of brilliant sunshine, bringing boundless warmth.
But she wanted him to leave, to leave beyond the border, beyond the memories that had hurt him, beyond the harm she had caused him.
As the train started moving, she finally reached out and waved to the figure that was gradually disappearing into the distance.
Gradually, all she could see was greenery; farmland flashed by, and the train sped off, carrying her toward an unknown future.
It wasn't peak season, and the carriage wasn't crowded. She looked at the empty seats opposite her and finally couldn't hold back her tears.
Only then did I realize that I rarely said those words—even when we were deeply in love, it seems I never said to you: Xu Chen, I love you.
It's true, I once loved you.
Ten years of blossoming flowers, ten years of love. If you can hear the words in my heart, I wish you happiness.
Let us all be happy!
end
Three years may not be a very long time.
Yu Lele teaches at Daiyang Experimental Primary School, the best primary school in the entire township. She originally wanted to teach in a more remote area, but the township authorities didn't approve, probably because of a lack of good teachers there.
Yu Lele lived in the school, in a simple two-story building behind the playground, which was all the school owned.
Most of the students at the school came from poor families, and every day some students wanted to drop out. By the second year of Yu Lele's teaching career, the number of students in her class had plummeted from 22 to 13.
In the empty classroom, every word spoken echoed.
Yu Lele's journey of home visits probably began around that time.
Crossing a mountain and two rivers, Yu Lele gradually explored every village deep in the mountain valleys. There were no buses in the mountains, so she could only take a three-wheeled motorcycle into the mountains and then a bus to the market to leave. Under the scorching summer sun, she lost count of how many times she vomited on the bumpy mountain roads, only realizing with a start that she no longer suffered from motion sickness.
Compared to her superficial teaching experience during her undergraduate years, this teaching experience allowed her to truly understand the lives of impoverished families.
Duan Ping and Duan Zhen were her first students, and also the first two girls to drop out of school. They were twins, looked very alike, the only difference being that the older sister, Duan Ping, was rarely talkative, while the younger sister, Duan Zhen, was relatively outgoing. Both sisters had excellent grades, and Yu Lele believed they would remain good students even after entering junior high school.
Compared to children in the city, the primary school students here are generally older. When she taught second-grade Chinese, the Duan sisters were already 11 years old. It is said that because the family was too poor, they didn't let the daughters start school until they were 9. And for girls in the mountains, going to school is just to learn a few simple characters, so the sisters both dropped out of school in the fourth grade.
When Yu Lele first arrived in Duanjia Village and saw the home of the Duan sisters, she couldn't help but feel tears welling up in her eyes: the house looked like it could collapse at any moment, the simple and old table and cabinets. The bedding on the high earthen bed had been patched and patched again, revealing the moldy cotton underneath. This was a family that had lost its male head of the household, and the female head of the household was unable to work. Yu Lele seemed to immediately understand why the Duan sisters had dropped out of school.
Watching the Duan sisters bustling about, clearly excited that their teacher had come to their home, Yu Lele finally couldn't resist asking Duan Ping, "If you want to go to school, how about the teacher sponsors you?"
I thought she would be happy, but the 13-year-old girl actually said, "No."
Yu Lele was a little confused, and she subconsciously asked, "Why?"
The little girl lowered her eyes and said, "It costs money."
Yu Lele hurriedly explained, "The teacher will pay for the tuition; you don't need to spend any money."
But to everyone's surprise, the little girl immediately did a clear calculation: "The school is too far away. It costs 40 cents a day to take the bus back and forth. But if I don't go to school, I can stay home and help my mother weave baskets and earn 40 or 50 cents a day."
Yu Lele didn't say anything, but turned her head away and quietly wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes.
At another boy's house, Lu Xiqiang's, she was even more shocked by the food in the pot: a pot of porridge, solidified, yet it was the family of three's daily food supply; a dozen or so carrots, pickled to a grayish hue and covered in mold, were their vegetables...
Yu Lele had always thought she had experienced all kinds of hardship, but only now did she realize that she was actually very happy.
As a volunteer teacher, her salary was paid by the relevant authorities in her hometown, amounting to 1,300 yuan per month. She kept a portion for living expenses and used almost the entire remainder to pay for students' tuition and other fees.
Every time she went home, she would bring back many extracurricular books, those colorful books making the children in the mountains' eyes light up. Whenever she saw this scene, she couldn't help but feel sad—under the same sky, she never imagined that there were people living such impoverished lives not far from her.
She could no longer write those romantic tales. Sometimes she would look at her old drafts and feel they were distant and unfamiliar. Her life seemed to have been marked by a more realistic label, and those pretentious, poetic, and highbrow stories were no longer relevant to her.
She began writing many articles about her experience teaching in rural areas, which were gradually reprinted in magazines such as *Reader*, *Youth Digest*, and *Vision*. These articles were based on her own experiences, firsthand observations, and heartfelt reflections. She meticulously recorded her stories, hoping to offer readers a glimpse into another, authentic way of life. She also took on a column for her hometown evening newspaper, documenting her teaching life in diary form under the title "A Female College Student's Teaching Diary." The column was very well-received; the newspaper forwarded numerous letters from readers, and even remittance slips from kind-hearted individuals hoping to help children in the mountains return to school. She was deeply grateful to these kind strangers.
Later, she wrote several investigative reports, which were published in various provincial educational journals, some of which even attracted the attention of the Provincial Youth League Committee. During the summer vacation, a delegation from the Provincial Youth League Committee's "Spring Bud Project" visited Daiyang, bringing not only cultural supplies and brand-new books, but also several summer teaching support teams. Her alma mater also regularly sends teaching support teams to Daiyang during winter and summer vacations to provide free lessons, while also mobilizing students to donate money and goods and establish student support partnerships…
Looking at the children's happy smiling faces, it was the first time Yu Lele felt that the word "education" had such profound significance.
When Yu Lele saw Ye Fei again, she suddenly felt as if she had been in another world.
It was a crisp autumn day. In the provincial hospital's outreach team, she looked up and met Ye Fei's gaze.
Both of them were stunned.
Across the bustling crowd and the students coming and going, they gazed at each other, as if time had rewound rapidly, back to that summer when they were 20, still on the campus of the Provincial Medical University, still the two of them smiling at each other.
After a long while, Yu Lele was the first to greet him with a smile: "Hello, long time no see."
Ye Fei smiled: "It really has been a long time. Three years have passed in the blink of an eye."
They sat chatting under the basketball hoop on the school playground, and with a turn of their heads, they could see the fine lines at the corners of each other's eyes.
Even in their early twenties, the passage of time stubbornly leaves its mark.
"You look great," Ye Fei said with a smile to Yu Lele.
“It’s alright,” Yu Lele smiled, “It’s much better than I imagined.”
“He went abroad,” Ye Fei said.
Yu Lele immediately understood who she was referring to. She quietly gazed at the setting sun in the distance and said, "I've heard about it."
She turned to look at Ye Fei, a faint smile playing on her lips: "This is better for him."
"Won't you feel reluctant to part with it?" Ye Fei finally couldn't help but ask.