After a while, seeing that Lian Haiping didn't move, Yu Lele looked up and saw him tilting his head, quietly looking at her. It seemed that this was the first time Yu Lele had noticed how beautiful his eyes were, and she couldn't help but reach out to touch them, but he grabbed her hand.
"Lele, do you regret it?" His tone was heavy in the dim light. "What nonsense are you talking about?" Yu Lele frowned. "Are you out of your mind?" "I'm serious," Lian Haiping rolled over, staring down into her eyes. "Look me in the eye and tell me, do you regret marrying me?" "What if I regret it?" Yu Lele asked unhappily. He paused slightly. "Yeah, what if I regret it?" He smiled bitterly. "Actually, I know myself that even if you regret it, I won't let you go." "Then why ask so many questions?" Yu Lele pushed him impatiently. "Get away, you're too heavy."
But he didn't move. Yu Lele looked up at his eyes; they were misty. Yu Lele suddenly felt a little worried. She thought for a moment, then finally reached out and put her arms around his neck, softly saying, "Haiping, I'm sorry." Lian Haiping looked at Yu Lele without speaking. "I'm sorry for making you worry," she said, looking into his eyes, her gaze so clear, "The past is the past. Really. You believe me, okay?" Her tone was sincere: "I admit, I can't forget everything, but I can bury it in the most inconspicuous place, and then live our lives in a more prominent place." She paused: "Haiping, we're married!" These words struck Lian Haiping like a dagger. He suddenly realized: Yes, they were married! She was his legal wife, and they would have children together in the future. Their lives would continue. Wasn't what he had today exactly what he had dreamed of? Since he already had it, why should he be so anxious? Lian Haiping looked at Yu Lele, watching her face slowly blush pink in the brightening morning light. He finally let out a long sigh, lowered his head, and tightly embraced the girl in his arms. He held her so tightly, as if trying to squeeze out all the barriers between them—even the air. In that instant, he truly felt like the happiest person in the world! Seeing the smile on his face, Yu Lele felt a warm glow in her heart. It was so quiet around them, so quiet that they could only hear each other's breathing. She reached out and touched Lian Haiping's forehead, smiling, "It seems the fever has really gone down." "Touching there won't help," he grasped her hand, "The fever isn't there." Yu Lele froze, her face suddenly turning red. Lian Haiping reached out and brushed the stray hairs from Yu Lele's forehead, feeling her muscles involuntarily tense, even trembling slightly. He gazed at her tenderly, only to see her nervously turn her head away under his gaze, whispering, "Haiping..."
"Hmm?" He looked at her; her gaze darted away, a helplessness he'd never seen before. Yet, it was so beautiful—like a porcelain doll, pure and radiant. "Hai Ping," her voice trailed off, her breath almost stopping, "be gentle, I'm afraid of hurting you..."
Lian Haiping smiled slightly. At six in the morning, Grandpa had already gone out for a walk. The downstairs door slammed shut, and shouts echoed from the nearby mountains. This time, Lian Haiping was no longer worried or hesitant. He lowered his head and kissed his young wife deeply in his arms.
In the soft morning light, Yu Lele gently closed her eyes. She knew this was the life she wanted. It was her current peace and stability, her tranquil days. Her life had finally settled. (End of Extra Chapter 1)
Side Story: You Are My Love (A-1)
Late at night, when Grandpa Lian Haiping called the Suyang Town Party Committee office, Lian Haiping was still in the Party Committee meeting room leading a group of people in writing materials. It was already 11:30 p.m., and the large meeting room was still filled with smoke. Three or four tired men sat inside, some writing furiously, some deep in thought, and some frowning as they puffed out cigarette smoke. When the office director, Ge Jianlin, pushed open the door, he saw Lian Haiping standing by the window answering the phone.
He hurriedly walked to Lian Haiping's side, his voice low: "Secretary Lian, your family wants you to call back immediately, it's urgent."
Lian Haiping was startled. He glanced back at the people still rushing to write materials, said nothing, and hurriedly closed his phone and headed to his office. As soon as he entered, he pressed the speed dial button on his phone and dialed back: Speed dial number 1—"I Love My Home." The silly picture was a photo of the living room that Yu Lele had taken of their home. One sunny afternoon, Yu Lele, who had already graduated with a master's degree and stayed on as a teacher, was extremely bored. So she set caller ID pictures for all the phone numbers in Lian Haiping's phone related to herself, her grandfather, and their home, and changed all the ringtones to the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." Because of this tune, Lian Haiping had been teased countless times by his colleagues at the Municipal Youth League Committee—whenever this ringtone sounded, a colleague would shout, "Haiping, your Little Star is looking for you!"
At the time, he hadn't expected that soon after, Lian Haiping would be assigned to Suyang Town as the town's Party Secretary, 110 kilometers from home. Music, in fact, became his warmest and most reassuring support. When Lian Haiping left home, Yu Lele was three months pregnant and suffering from severe vomiting. Lian Haiping felt sorry for his wife and even considered giving up on going to Suyang for a while. But Yu Lele firmly stopped him, telling him with a pale face, "Girls always experience this during childbirth. You can't always give up this and that for me." Hearing her words, Lian Haiping felt a pang of sadness: she was too understanding; she wanted him to be successful and thriving, but how could he bear to see her sacrifice for him? However, he couldn't persuade her otherwise, and finally, on the eve of their third wedding anniversary, he embarked on his journey to Suyang to assume his new post.
Although Suyang wasn't far from home, and he could go home every weekend, he was the top official in the township, with so many affairs to handle: attracting investment, receiving public visitors, handling inspections from higher authorities, work reports, appointing and dismissing cadres, rural construction… His frequency of going home gradually decreased from once a week to once every two weeks, and later he couldn't even guarantee once a month. Often, he could only learn about her through his grandfather's scolding over the phone or through Yu Lele's snippets of good news, not bad. He felt so guilty towards her. He had never imagined that he would make her suffer so much—when a woman needed support the most, he wasn't by her side.
He had once vowed to give her happiness, a lifetime of happiness. The phone at home remained unanswered, and Lian Haiping suddenly felt a pang of panic. He hurriedly called Yu Lele's house, but still no one answered. He grew anxious and frantically searched for Uncle Yu's phone number, but just then his own phone rang. He answered, and it was Lele's mother. "Mom—" Before he could finish his greeting, Lele's mother's tearful voice cried out, "Haiping, come back quickly! Lele has been born prematurely and is being treated at the Central Hospital." Lian Haiping's mind went blank. He stood there stunned for a moment, then grabbed his coat and rushed out of the office. Ge Jianlin, standing outside the door about to knock, saw him and exclaimed anxiously, "Secretary Lian, where are you going?"
Lian Haiping answered as he ran downstairs, "Home." Ge Jianlin reacted quickly, chasing after him in a few strides: "Don't drive yourself, I'll find someone to take you!"
He hurriedly arranged for the driver on duty to prepare the car, and in that short time, he saw Lian Haiping standing downstairs at the office building, checking his watch. He rushed over, and as soon as he reached him, he heard Lian Haiping begin to instruct him: "Get the materials out by tomorrow afternoon. If I can't come back, show them to Secretary Liu first, and call me after you've revised them; have Mayor Yu attend the public reception tomorrow morning, and tell him that I have a family emergency. Call me anytime if there's anything else." Calm under pressure, clear-headed, decisive, and methodical—Ge Jianlin looked at this young town party secretary with considerable admiration and nodded. As the car pulled up, Ge Jianlin added, "If you need any help, just let us know."
He saw Lian Haiping pause for a moment, but quickly said, "Okay, thank you." The car sped away. Ge Jianlin stood at the office building entrance, thinking about the hurried tone of Lian Haiping's grandfather on the phone. Although he didn't know why, he was still worried for Lian Haiping. Actually, at the beginning, Ge Jianlin didn't have high expectations for this newly appointed Party Secretary—a cadre's son, a university graduate who passed the civil service exam, a 29-year-old director of the Organization and Publicity Department of the Municipal Youth League Committee, a section-level cadre, sent to a peaceful and ordinary township like Suyang to gain grassroots experience before being promoted, and then transferred back to the Municipal Party Committee for important positions a few years later… This kind of path was all too familiar to those who had been in officialdom for years. Suyang wasn't a very developed place, but it was also blessed with good weather. Local specialties included yams and red dates, and several private enterprises were doing well. Although it wasn't near the sea, its economy was decent, making it a safe and peaceful place. In Ge Jianlin's eyes, Lian Haiping's gilded journey, if it didn't involve any merit but just avoiding mistakes, would be good enough. However, he hadn't expected the young secretary's opening remarks to be so powerful: setting five-year development goals for both the town and village levels, implementing a responsibility system, conducting regular assessments, organizing propaganda teams to go to villages to popularize agricultural technology, having town leaders stationed in villages to help establish characteristic agricultural bases, improving the appearance of rural villages, securing project funds, issuing microloans... Ge Jianlin admitted that even he, who had worked in the town party committee office for so many years, felt overwhelmed. This time, he admitted: even if Lian Haiping were to rise rapidly in the future, it would be logical. Ge Jianlin had never seen Lian Haiping panic; perhaps tonight was the first time. Although this panic only lasted a few minutes, he knew that something big must have happened. Thinking of this, Ge Jianlin sighed and turned to walk towards the conference room: the "Township and Township Leaders Forum" was starting in a few days, and a group of young men in the office had been working overtime for several days in a row to prepare various meeting materials. Ge Jianlin thought: working with such a top leader, working overtime seemed to have become a normal thing.
All the way, Lian Haiping kept checking his watch. Uncle Yu's phone calls were practically a live broadcast: "He's still in the operating room...nothing else...Haiping, don't worry, be careful in the dark..." The driver, Xiao Liu, understood his anxiety and drove incredibly fast. Although the provincial highway wasn't easy to navigate and there were many delivery trucks at night, an hour later their car was parked in the parking lot of the city's central hospital. Lian Haiping practically rushed into the hospital building, but once inside, he realized: he didn't even know where the obstetrics and gynecology department was!
It seemed that only then did he realize how incompetent he was as a husband; he had never accompanied his wife to a single prenatal checkup! In the quiet hospital building late at night, as he searched for the delivery room on the signs, he felt an overwhelming urge to cry.
A minute later, Lian Haiping rushed to the third-floor delivery room. Just as he reached the top, he saw a doctor emerge from the delivery room and head towards Uncle Yu and Lele's mother. They hurried to meet him, and Grandpa also quickly stood up and walked forward. At that moment, the orderly saw Lian Haiping and called out, "Haiping!" All eyes turned to him instantly. Without even catching his breath, Lian Haiping rushed to the doctor: "How is she?"
His voice was urgent and hoarse, and the exhaustion on his face was clearly visible, making people feel sorry for him.
"Are you a family member of the mother?" "I'm her husband." "The mother's condition is very bad; we're currently trying to resuscitate her. This is a 'Critical Condition Notice,' please sign it first." The doctor looked at Lian Haiping, his eyes seemingly filled with the same reluctance: "If there's danger, should we save the mother or the child?"
Everyone's face turned pale instantly. Lele's mother fainted on the spot. Uncle Yu supported her and pinched her philtrum. Grandpa was also speechless. In the chaos, Lian Haiping's hands began to tremble. He held a pen in his hand, staring in disbelief at the few thin sheets of paper. His vision blurred, and he tried to write his name, but he couldn't even put pen to paper. The doctor standing beside him finally sighed and supported his arm: "You have to believe in us. We will do our best."
Lian Haiping finally gritted his teeth and signed his name, looking at the doctor: "If anything unexpected happens, I want the adult, I want her to live!"
He stared intently at the doctor, his voice pleading, "Doctor, please save her, I beg you." Seeing his red eyes, the doctor nodded, seemingly moved as well, "You're all like this, you—"
He finally stopped speaking. Lian Haiping didn't understand what he meant, nor did he care to listen. He just stared blankly at the slowly closing operating room doors, then suddenly slumped against the corridor wall, and slid down. The young secretary who had been so decisive and authoritative in Suyang was now filled with utter despair and remorse. At two in the morning, outside the delivery room, he buried his head and wept uncontrollably in the silent corridor. The driver, Xiao Liu, stood by the stairs not far away, almost stunned. He had never seen Lian Haiping so dejected and vulnerable—in his eyes, Secretary Lian had always been strong.
At that moment, Xiao Liu suddenly prayed from the bottom of her heart for the woman in the delivery room: she hoped she would be safe, and she hoped her child would be safe...
Side Story: You Are My Love (A-2)
At the same time, unseen by anyone, halfway around the world, in a well-ordered laboratory in Washington on a winter afternoon, Xu Chen quietly gazed out the window, unsure how to describe his feelings: sorrow, anxiety, worry, and remembrance surged like the rising tide. Just hours earlier, he had been chatting on the phone with Lu Yuanyang, who was keeping his wife company on her night shift. Lu Yuanyang's newlywed wife, Zhao Yinghua, an obstetrician, occasionally chimed in with jokes. However, a nurse suddenly burst in, her voice so loud: "Dr. Zhao, a woman has gone into premature labor; the ambulance just arrived." Out of professional instinct, both he and Lu Yuanyang fell silent. Then he heard the nurse flipping through forms, and then she said, "The woman's name is... Yu Lele..." A loud bang nearly made Xu Chen's heart skip a beat. Lu Yuanyang also gasped, instinctively asking, "Yinghua, what's the patient's name?" Zhao Yinghua gave Lu Yuanyang a strange look, and as she ran out, she replied, "Yu Lele, I guess. How come you know her?"
However, before Lu Yuanyang could speak, she had already run out the door, leaving behind only one sentence: "I will do my best!"
Instantly, the duty room fell into a deathly silence. Lu Yuanyang's voice stammered, "Same name...it must be the same name...there are too many people with this name..."
His breathing seemed to become labored: "Xu Chen, don't worry, I'll go take a look at you right away."
“Yuanyang, can you do me a favor?” After a long silence, Xu Chen heard his own slow voice. “Let her live, you must let her live,” he tried to make sure every word was clear. “I know it’s not a coincidence of names, her due date is next month, I know…” “You—” Lu Yuanyang could no longer speak. “Go to the operating room and tell Yinghua, you must let her live, I beg you,” Xu Chen seemed unable to suppress the desolation in his voice. “Lu Yuanyang, I beg you.” Lu Yuanyang was silent for a long time before finally saying, “Okay.” But before hanging up, he suddenly seemed to remember something and hesitated, instructing, “Don’t tell Jingbo, she… she’s still a girl, I’m afraid she’ll overthink it.” In the brightly lit laboratory, Xu Chen looked up at the swaying branches outside the window and nodded. “Okay.” Lu Yuanyang on the other end of the phone still seemed worried. He murmured, “Xu Chen, I only have this one sister. America is so far away, you… don’t let her down.” Xu Chen’s heart skipped a beat, and Lu Jingbo’s smiling face flashed before his eyes. He seemed to see her again, standing at the entrance of the Civil Affairs Bureau, holding a small marriage certificate, looking at it repeatedly in the sun. Then, in that happy and gentle voice, she sighed: "Xu Chen, do you know, all these years, I've been studying alone in America, all alone, all alone. I thought, when I finally meet the one for me, I'll definitely beat him up and ask him why he's so late..." Under the bright sunlight, she tilted her head back, letting the starlight in her eyes flow backward, then took his arm and smiled: "Xu Chen, tell me, why are you so late?" At that moment, she was no longer the meticulous female PhD student working in the lab, but just an ordinary girl. At that moment, Xu Chen knew clearly: she wasn't Yu Lele, and he was no longer the Xu Chen of that year and month.
A few seconds later, he heard his own voice gradually become calmer: "I know that since I've decided to take care of her, I won't be hypocritical. Yuanyang, believe me, if I can be good to Yu Lele, I can be good to Lu Jingbo, I swear." Then, he gently hung up the phone. He couldn't see that, halfway around the world, in his hometown, in the dead of night in the duty room, Lu Yuanyang took a deep breath, suppressing the tears welling up in his eyes, and then ran quickly towards the operating room. The lights in the corridor were so bright, reflecting his hurried steps, as if in this way, he could stop Yu Lele from walking towards death.
Time ticked by, and Lian Haiping felt his nerves were on the verge of collapse. Many times he even hallucinated, imagining the delivery room door opening and a doctor coming out to tell him, "We've done everything we could." Many times he even vaguely saw the figure covered in a white sheet on the hospital bed… He stood up several times, but when he regained consciousness, he found the surroundings still quiet. His heart was filled with despair, an uncontrollable pain and self-blame. He was terrified. He hadn't seen her for over a month; he couldn't bear to see her again only to find she could no longer speak! He couldn't recall, couldn't remember, the last time he left home, her tired yet happy smile as she stood at the door seeing him off. He couldn't bear to think—what if that was the last time he saw her?! He couldn't live without her! They had only been married for three years, their happy life had just begun. They had promised to try to return to the city after his term ended, they had promised to watch their child grow up together, they had promised to hold hands and watch the tides rise and fall on the beach until their hair turned white… They had promised that life was so long, they would walk it together. He couldn't help but recall the past three years, the meals she cooked for him, the shirts she ironed, the glass of water she handed him every night while he buried himself in his work… He even remembered the warm-colored curtains she bought, the baby supplies she painstakingly acquired, the most beautiful radiance on her face when she talked about their child. She was so alive! How could she leave him? Lian Haiping clenched his fists tightly; he wanted to punch himself. He knew so clearly: if anything happened to her, he would never forgive himself! Time passed, and his despair swelled into a vast chasm he couldn't control. He looked up, staring blankly at the operating room door. In that moment, he forgot everything around him. To hell with the future, the career, the job, the responsibilities! As long as she was alright, as long as she was still alive, even without children, even if they could never have children again, so what?! As long as she lived, as long as she could still stand before him, smiling. As long as she lived! At this moment, the delivery room, separated by just one door, is filled with cold light, a strong smell of blood, and a faint aura of death.
She cried and screamed for who knows how long, her voice long since hoarse, until she heard the midwife say, "Push, it's almost out..."
Yu Lele strained with all her might, but gradually she felt the world slowly distorting. With each wave of pain, the objects in her vision warped. The lights overhead, the masked faces around her, the floating, indistinct illusions—all seemed to turn into spheres, squeezing and swaying before her. Pain—a pain she had never experienced before, a pain she could never have imagined, pierced to the bone. Gradually, the intervals between the pains shortened, the attacks became longer, tearing and churning, engulfing her!
When the pain became unbearable, she couldn't tell where it was hurting—her stomach, or somewhere else.
Tears streamed uncontrollably down her face. At first, she called out Lian Haiping's name a few times, but later she had no strength left. The midwife panicked, and the doctors began speaking in front of her, but everything seemed to blur and become distant. Gradually, the swaying figures became indistinct. A buzzing sound filled her ears. She tried to open her eyes wide, but the colors before her grew increasingly intense. Her head felt heavy and swollen, as if it were about to explode. With all her might, she could hear voices, a few indistinct words: save the mother… save the child…
Suddenly, she felt fear, even an overwhelming despair—Lian Haiping, where are you? Don't you want the child anymore? I've persevered for over eight months, are you going to make me give up everything? Speak to me, can you hear me calling you? Can you hear me—I want the child! Even if I die, I want the child to live. He hasn't even seen this world yet, how can you abandon him?! Lian Haiping, if you must die, let me go! The child is so innocent, you can't abandon him! Lian Haiping, you bastard! But, Lian Haiping, if I die, will I never see you again? I really want to see you, even just once. I haven't seen you in so long, are you alright? I feel like I'm about to leave, why can't I feel anything? I can't hear any sounds, what are those people swaying around saying? I can't see the people or things around me clearly either, my stomach hurts so much, but I have no strength, I can't muster any strength at all.
"Haiping, I miss you so much..." A series of strange, repetitive sounds erupted from Yu Lele's world. They weren't human voices, but rather machine-like noises. Gradually, she could see and hear nothing; all her strength seemed to vanish. Yet, in this hazy state, before losing consciousness, Yu Lele finally mustered all her remaining strength to utter her last words: "I want a child!"
Then, the world fell silent with a bang! A tense resuscitation began in the delivery room. Zhao Yinghua was covered in blood, her forehead drenched in sweat; everyone was frantically trying to save a life. At that moment, Lu Yuanyang, who was assisting on the sidelines, was suddenly deeply shaken. This woman before him was willing to risk her life to save her child! Then again, what mother wouldn't? Lu Yuanyang turned around; Yu Lele's face was completely bloodless. In a daze, he seemed to remember the girl standing before him years ago, her hand held by Xu Chen, her face beaming with a radiant smile of happiness. How long ago was that? But why were those peaceful and happy scenes still so vivid in his mind now?
It turned out that time had never taken away those warm and comforting memories. He seemed to understand Xu Chen a little better: loving someone always leaves a trace, right? It was impossible for him to remain indifferent. He suddenly remembered the desperate plea of the man at the door when he went to get the patient's family's signature: "I want her to live, doctor, please!"
He admitted that he had initially hated this man: hated him for stealing Xu Chen's happiness, hated him for not cherishing it after taking it, and for not even being there for his wife when she risked her life! But when he saw his travel-worn figure and those bloodshot eyes, when he heard him, like Xu Chen, pleading with him to "save her," he suddenly couldn't hate him anymore—those eyes, that plea, contained so much regret and love, so much love made even greater by the fragility of life. Who said that love was any less than Xu Chen's? It was at this moment that Lu Yuanyang finally understood: when romantic love transforms into familial affection, those interdependent feelings will gradually grow exponentially, and might suddenly erupt at any time due to various circumstances. This eruption is like the Comoros volcano, pouring out scorching lava. It's heartbreakingly hot. It was at this moment that the baby's cry woke Lu Yuanyang. He turned around in surprise and saw the baby Yu Lele had brought with her last ounce of strength was now clean and healthy in the nurse's hands: a little boy, his eyes tightly closed, his expression unhappy, as if he were complaining about why it had taken so long to come into this world. Almost at the same moment, Zhao Yinghua's resuscitation was successful: the electrocardiogram began to show its usual wavy lines again, and the woman lying on the operating table, ashen-faced, began to breathe weakly. Lu Yuanyang silently stepped forward and wiped the sweat from Zhao Yinghua's forehead. Zhao Yinghua looked at him with relief, and his eyes even stung a little. It seemed he was recalling the first time he received a call from Yu Lele many years ago, and vaguely remembered talking about her with Xu Chen back then… Those intersecting scenes flashed by, seemingly representing those unforgettable, most beautiful years of our lives.
He said in a voice only Zhao Yinghua could hear, "Thank you." Zhao Yinghua looked at him in surprise, then turned to look at Yu Lele, and smiled, "Why are you being so polite?"
Lu Yuanyang sighed deeply, "Xu Chen told me to say it. He said, please, you must save her." He looked up and met Zhao Yinghua's surprised gaze. He thought for a moment, then finally said, "That's a very long story..."
Yes, that's a story from a very long time ago. For Yu Lele, who had already died once, everything before felt incredibly distant. Because from this moment on, a new life began. And the person who embodied her most sincere and profound love in this world had finally arrived.
Side Story: You Are My Love (B)
Yu Lele slept for a full 14 hours. During those 14 hours, Lian Haiping stayed by her bedside without leaving her side. He didn't eat or sleep, just stared intently at her, not missing a single glance. He didn't dare breathe too loudly, as if a single breath would cause her to leave him. At his insistence, Uncle Yu, Lele's mother, and grandfather went home to rest or prepare for their hospital stay. Only the driver, Xiao Liu, refused to leave, saying that Director Ge Jianlin had instructed him on the phone to stay by her side and provide extra care. His sincerity finally convinced Lian Haiping. So, from dawn till dusk, Xiao Liu sat in the corridor's rest area on standby, while Lian Haiping held his wife's hand tightly in the ward. Xiao Liu went to buy food, but Lian Haiping found he couldn't eat a single bite. The previous night had been an ordeal for him: the worries, the despair, the deep-seated remorse—he never wanted to relive them. At that time, he really didn't expect that she wouldn't leave him after he had almost lost all hope!
Perhaps he should truly thank God for being merciful enough to finally give him the chance to make it up to her. Even now, he can't forget the moment when, on the verge of complete collapse, the doctor opened the door, smiling, and said, "Congratulations, mother and child are safe." He could hardly believe his ears! He gripped the doctor's hand tightly, but the male doctor who had made him sign the critical condition notice waved his hand at him: "Not me, you should thank her." The male doctor pointed to the female doctor behind him; she looked exhausted, but still smiled at him: "Congratulations, you're a father now."
He didn't know what to say. In that instant, he was no longer the Party Secretary who could speak extemporaneously to hundreds of people at a meeting. He was filled with a happy yet apprehensive excitement, and like any man who had just become a father after experiencing the ordeal of life and death, he suddenly became tongue-tied.
Then, he saw her being wheeled out, her face so haggard, yet she had survived. He looked again at the tiny, red-skinned baby in the swaddling clothes, unable to tell whether he felt joy or heartache, only wanting to cry. He thought that when this child grew up, he would definitely tell him: "Your mother almost lost her life for you!" He was terrified. But now he was also extremely happy. Because he felt that the treasure he had almost lost had finally been found! Yu Lele felt like she was starting to hallucinate again. The surroundings were pitch black; she couldn't even hear the wind anymore, just a long tunnel. There was no light, and she didn't know which way to go. Something seemed to be lingering around her, but upon closer inspection, she couldn't see anything. She suddenly felt very scared and subconsciously called out "Lian Haiping" a few times, but no one answered. She sadly squatted down, hugging her knees, feeling wronged and wanting to cry. In her heart, she cursed fiercely: "Lian Haiping, you bad guy, where are you? Don't you want me anymore?" I haven't seen you in so long. How could you be so mean that you don't even answer when I call you? Thinking this, she could almost feel his presence, gently wafting around her. She remembered how warmly his hand held hers, telling her, "I'll always be here." What did she say then? She thought she laughed and said, "Lian Haiping, you're getting more and more sentimental." But now she regretted it. She didn't want to say that anymore. She wanted to say, "I'll always be here too," but Haiping, could you hear her?
I'm here, I've always been here. Come home, and you'll see me. This is our home—even if you haven't been back for a long time, I'll still habitually cook you an extra bowl of rice and an extra dish, so you won't be hungry if you suddenly come home; I often put your pillow, blanket, and coat out in the sun to air them, so if you suddenly come home, you'll find the house smells as fresh as sunshine; I even bought you new sweaters and underwear, and a dozen socks. If you're too busy with work in Suyang, don't do the laundry, bring it back and I'll wash it for you… But you still haven't come back. Haiping, I've never missed you so much. Missing you to the point of fear—feeling like I'm about to leave you, that I'll never see you again… Yu Lele's tears flowed silently. In the quiet ward, Lian Haiping suddenly trembled, looking incredulously at the quietly lying Yu Lele, instinctively squeezing her hand tightly, and reaching out to wipe away the tears streaming down her face. His heart was filled with a sharp, piercing pain—an indescribable guilt and heartache: how much suffering had she endured, how much loneliness and grievance that most people couldn't bear, to cry even in her dreams? He stood up, bent down, and gently stroked her forehead: "Lele, I'm here, don't cry..."
His voice was soft, like he was coaxing a child. Yu Lele gradually stopped crying, her brows relaxed, and her breathing became steady. Lian Haiping's nose suddenly stung, and he couldn't help but shed tears. He hurriedly reached out to wipe them away, until his hands were wet, before the tears finally stopped. It is said that men don't easily shed tears, but after today, he realized that his heart's capacity was too limited—in this life-or-death battle, he suddenly discovered that there were too many things beyond his control, and his heart instantly weakened. However, at this moment, he suddenly noticed that Yu Lele's eyelashes trembled slightly. He quickly bent down again: "Lele, are you awake?" After about several dozen seconds, those eyes he had missed for so long finally opened gently, very gently.
A blinding light suddenly pierced Yu Lele's eyes, causing a brief sting. She instinctively closed her eyes, feeling a heaviness in her head and a general weakness throughout her body. In her ears, Lian Haiping's joyful voice echoed repeatedly: "Lele, you're awake? Look at me..."
Yu Lele's heart skipped a beat, and she finally realized: it was Lian Haiping? She slowly opened her eyes and saw the person she had longed for standing before her! Lian Haiping—had he finally returned? Haiping—I thought I would never see you again. In an instant, tears streamed down her face uncontrollably. Lian Haiping's heart ached at the sight; his lips trembled, and his eyes began to sting. He couldn't help but lean down and gently embrace the woman before him. His cheek pressed against her ear, the warm touch telling him: his Lele had truly come back to life!
He finally couldn't hold back his sobs. His hands gripped the corner of the blanket tightly, but his embrace was so gentle, as if he were afraid of hurting her.
His voice was dry and trembling: "Lele, I'm sorry." Yu Lele's tears continued to fall. She longed to reach out and hug him; she loved the feeling of holding his neck. But at this moment, all her strength seemed to have vanished. A sharp, throbbing pain shot through her lower abdomen. Yu Lele seemed to suddenly remember something, her whole body shuddering violently. Her eyes widened, and she asked in a hoarse voice, "The baby...where's the baby?" Her eyes were filled with fear. Lian Haiping quickly looked up, tightly grasped her hand, looked into her eyes, and said, word by word, "The baby is fine, don't worry!" He smiled slightly at her: "It's a boy, very healthy. Thank you, Lele." Yu Lele's tense muscles relaxed instantly. She finally caught her breath and closed her eyes wearily.
She vaguely felt Lian Haiping gently grasp her hand, just as he had done countless times before—holding her hand tightly, giving her endless warmth and strength. She closed her eyes, quietly absorbing the soft light of the small wall lamp in the ward. After a long while, she softly said, "Haiping, I just dreamt I was walking in a dark tunnel. I was so scared. I called your name, but you didn't answer me." Her voice was full of a little girl's pleading and grievance, but to Lian Haiping, it felt like a sharp, dull pain pounding against his heart. He felt as if his heart was about to burst: "Lele, I'm sorry."
He suddenly felt so useless: at this moment, he had nothing to say except "I'm sorry"!
He closed his eyes tightly, so tightly, because if he opened them, he was afraid his tears would flow uncontrollably again.
From childhood to adulthood, whether he was beaten by his father or scolded by his grandfather, he had never cried. Only this time, in these tumultuous 24 hours, he shed more tears than he had in the previous 30 years combined. He truly could no longer bear such fear. In the quiet night, Lian Haiping lay quietly by his wife's bedside, holding her hand tightly.
It seems that on that very night, he lost his ability to speak. He couldn't even tell her how much he loved her. He couldn't tell her how many times he regretted it so much during that harrowing night that he wanted to slap himself—because, even as he was about to lose her, he hadn't had the chance to say those most important words to her. Lele, you are the person I love most in this world, do you know that?
Side Story: You Are My Love (C)
Three days after waking up, Yu Lele finally managed to force Lian Haiping back to Suyang five hours before the "Township Leaders Forum" began. The gamble was high—Yu Lele threatened to go on a hunger strike if Lian Haiping dared to neglect his duties, and in fact, she did begin resisting the soups and broths her mother brought. Lian Haiping was furious, glaring at her, but she remained unmoved. Until she heard Lian Haiping's voice, filled with pain: "Lele, even now I feel lingering fear, I..."
He couldn't go on. His voice was heavy with sorrow and despair, and Yu Lele's heart suddenly softened. In truth, how could she bear to let him go? They hadn't seen each other for over a month, especially at a time like this. Even if he stayed here all day, she still wouldn't get enough of him.
And yet, she still had so much to say to him. She talked about the baby's growth, the name she wanted, which kindergarten to send him to, and how she wanted to take him to a children's theater… The more she talked, the happier she became, as if in the blink of an eye, the baby was already toddling and babbling. But she couldn't. Even though she was just an ordinary woman, even though she was vulnerable and needed someone to be with her, she knew how much effort he had put into this event. She couldn't even imagine what would happen if he weren't there for this event that Lian Haiping had single-handedly organized. What would be the impact on Lian Haiping, and on Suyang? In these three days, she hadn't been oblivious—an average of one phone call every ten minutes, Lian Haiping both wanting to throw his phone out the window and still having to remain calm and make decisions. Perhaps it was because she saw all this that she understood what kind of life Lian Haiping had been living in Suyang for the past six months. She finally seemed to understand why he would fall asleep after only a few words whenever she came home.
But deep down, amidst the unspoken grievances and complaints, there was a small sense of pride—her husband, at the age of thirty, was actually in charge of a township with a population of 70,000. She found it amusing—she had always been apolitical, rarely watching the evening news, and had never even heard of government work reports. But because of him, because of his work, she had begun to pay attention to the phrases like "construction of a new socialist countryside" and "10% GDP growth" on television every evening at 7 pm. Whenever she saw these, she seemed to see her husband through the images—he was 110 kilometers away, on rural land he had never lived in, leading people to solve their basic needs, increase production and income, and strive for prosperity… She suddenly realized that in Lian Haiping's weary figure, there was so much she needed to understand and support. Therefore, she had to let him return to Suyang to fulfill his mission. She smiled and hugged Lian Haiping's arm: "Come back when you're done, okay?" She looked up at him with pleading eyes, like a little girl. Lian Haiping felt a pang of sadness and could only reach out and hug her back, his voice muffled: "I'm sorry, I haven't been there for you." Yu Lele felt a sudden warmth in her heart, a gentle emotion flowing through her. She buried her face in his shoulder familiarly, and after a long while, he heard her laugh: "What good is it for you to be there for me? Can you have my baby?" Lian Haiping was both amused and exasperated. An hour later, Lian Haiping finally left the hospital and returned to Suyang after giving her many instructions. Yu Lele calmly drank her soup under her mother's reproachful gaze. Her mother looked at her and sighed: "You can make such a good child like Haiping so angry. You really are a worry."
Yu Lele laughed, "Mom, don't worry, I know what I'm doing. If he refuses to go back to Suyang, I'll find another way to force him to go back. I won't really stop eating and drinking. Think about it, even if I stop eating and drinking, the child still needs to eat and drink." Her mother looked at Yu Lele and smiled helplessly, "You're still a child yourself, how did you become a mother?"
Upon hearing this, a gentle and warm expression gradually spread across Yu Lele's face. She thought of her baby, her home, and the bright days to come, and suddenly felt so happy. Lu Yuanyang searched around for Zhao Yinghua and finally found her at the entrance of the obstetrics and gynecology ward on the 24th floor. She was talking to someone and didn't see him.
Lu Yuanyang approached and softly called out, "Yinghua!" The moment Zhao Yinghua turned around, the person standing beside her also turned around. Their eyes met, and Lu Yuanyang abruptly stopped, staring intently into those familiar eyes. Yu Lele was also startled, almost instinctively greeting him, "Lu Yuanyang?" Lu Yuanyang paused, then finally smiled, "Yu Lele, your vitality is truly tenacious!" His cheerful and relaxed voice naturally broke down the awkwardness and distance that had been expected between them. Yu Lele laughed too, "What do you want to hear? Otherwise, I'll admit I'm an unkillable cockroach." Zhao Yinghua couldn't help but laugh, patting Yu Lele's shoulder, "No wonder your son looks so energetic when he opens his eyes; it's hereditary." She then turned to Lu Yuanyang, "I'm going to make rounds. If you're not in a hurry, wait for me in my office; I'll be back in a bit."
Seeing Lu Yuanyang nod, she waved and led the interns away. Only after they were out of sight did Lu Yuanyang calmly look at Yu Lele. She was wearing a loose coat and looked much heavier. When Yu Lele noticed him looking her over, she embarrassedly tugged at the hem of her coat: "Am I looking particularly unpresentable right now?"
“No,” Lu Yuanyang said seriously, “After what happened that night, I think you’re quite beautiful!” His gaze was sincere, not joking. Yu Lele looked into his eyes and smiled. “Thank you,” she smiled at him, “My husband said that if it weren’t for you and Dr. Zhao, I would be dead.”
"My love"—a faint sadness welled up in Lu Yuanyang's heart. Suddenly, he remembered Xu Chen's sorrowful tone on the phone that night, and those words, "Lu Yuanyang, I beg you."
Lu Yuanyang's gaze dimmed involuntarily. As he thought this, he heard Yu Lele ask, "Do you work here? But I remember you're not from here."
He nodded: "Yinghua and I both work at the Affiliated Hospital of the Provincial Medical University. Since this is also the affiliated hospital of our university, we came here for an exchange program. I work in pediatrics." "Pediatrics?" Yu Lele looked at him and smiled: "I really didn't expect that. I thought you would go to cardiology or neurosurgery or something."
She couldn't help but sigh, "Dr. Zhao is such a rare good person. In the few days I've been here, I've lost count of how many times I've seen her use her own salary to buy nutritional supplements for new mothers from impoverished families." She gave Lu Yuanyang a deep look: "Good people are always rewarded. You two will definitely be happy." Lu Yuanyang nodded and sincerely said, "Thank you." He looked around and asked, "Where's your husband?" "He went back to Suyang," she smiled, "He has a very important event these days, and he can't get away." "You—" Lu Yuanyang looked at her, shook his head, and sighed, "Yu Lele, are you always so selfless, only thinking of others?"
His gaze swept over her head, his tone heavy: "You're just a woman. Even if you only think of yourself, no one will say anything." "It's always like this"—Yu Lele's heart was gently touched, as if those yesterdays were right before her eyes. It seemed that those sacrifices, those abandonments, those past events that would never return, were all faintly revealing their outlines beneath the dust of time.
“But, like you said—good people get good rewards,” Lu Yuanyang looked at her quietly, “So, your survival isn’t just thanks to Yinghua.” His eyes were full of sincerity: “Yu Lele, you should thank yourself.” Yu Lele looked at him, her eyes gradually welling up with tears. She turned to look out the window; the winter sun shone warmly into the corridor, and under the azure sky, from the 24th-floor window, a tranquil ocean stretched into the distance. Lu Yuanyang finally decided not to tell her about Xu Chen’s pleas—her life was already peaceful and happy, and Xu Chen and Jingbo’s future would surely be calm and tender; people always have to move on. But he knew what she was worried about, and he knew that her silence didn’t mean she wasn’t thinking about it. He looked at her face as she gazed out the window; her eyes were so distant. She must be thinking of those bygone days, too.
He sighed deeply in his heart, and finally decided to tell her: "Xu Chen, he's fine, he... he's married..."
Unbeknownst to him, behind Yu Lele's calm expression at that moment, in a heart unseen by anyone, a subtle sorrow and an overwhelming sense of relief suddenly welled up. She struggled to suppress the tears that seemed about to overflow, gazing with an unprecedented sense of emotion and acceptance at the shimmering waves on the distant sea, her eyes fixed on the horizon—across the Pacific Ocean, where Xu Chen lived. Xu Chen, so many years have passed; we have finally trudged through the muddiest of days.
Xu Chen, I wish you and your family eternal peace and happiness… Two days later, at dusk, Lian Haiping couldn't wait to return to the city after the guests had embarked on their journeys home. The next day was Yu Lele's discharge day, and he was going to pick her up. It was nearly dusk when he arrived at the hospital. As he walked down the corridor, nearing the door of ward D34, he suddenly heard faint music. He looked through the corridor window and saw Yu Lele holding her son. An MP3 player connected to a mini speaker on the bed was playing soft music. He stood quietly in the corridor, watching his wife and son through the window. Yu Lele didn't see Lian Haiping; her head was down, her eyes only on her precious child. Her left arm gently held her son, her right hand gently patting him as she looked closely: her son's forehead and eyes really resembled Lian Haiping's, his mouth was more like hers, and his little nose was so tiny, making one want to touch it. His eyelashes were so long, they trembled slightly when he slept, and his little belly bulged out—he was so adorable… As she looked at him, she couldn't help but smile. The golden light of the setting sun bathed her in a serene and beautiful glow—so beautiful that she didn't want to disturb it.
Lian Haiping felt something warm travel along his veins, gradually enveloping him. A few minutes later, Lian Haiping finally gently pushed open the ward door. Yu Lele heard it as the door opened, and she looked up with joy, happily looking at Lian Haiping. Her face shone with the happy glow of maternal love. Lian Haiping saw this and suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to embrace them both!
“Haiping, come and see your son,” Yu Lele called out happily in a soft voice. “Look, this forehead, these eyes, doesn’t he look just like you?” As she spoke, she gestured for Lian Haiping to sit down by the bed, then carefully placed the baby in his arms, and gently nestled beside him. Lian Haiping lowered his head and looked closely at the little guy in his arms: his eyes were closed, and he was breathing evenly. He was so small, his head cradled in Lian Haiping’s palm, as if resting on a soft pillow. His hair was soft, and his forehead was large; he was so small, yet so adorable.
He watched quietly, his heart gradually filled with an indescribable, overwhelming emotion: this was his own flesh and blood, the child his wife had risked her life to give birth to, the person they cared about and loved most in their lives! "Haiping, your parents and my parents had a two-day-long discussion, and in the end, Grandpa said he'd name the baby 'Lian Ruicheng'," Yu Lele said, smiling as she leaned on his shoulder. "It's a really good name, isn't it?" "Yes," Lian Haiping replied softly. "Our little Cheng," Yu Lele reached out and gently touched her son's forehead and ears, her voice brimming with happiness, "when you grow up, be a wise and sincere person, know how to love others, and always remember how much your mom and dad love you..."
She murmured softly, and they leaned against each other quietly, listening to each other's heartbeats and the gentle, deep singing that echoed in the air. The song, so melodious and so full of love: "My child, before you even came into this world, so many people were already waiting for you, so many expectations, so many blessings, all frozen in this moment. My child, do you know the meaning of home? My child, do you know the principle of love? Believe me, I will weave a beautiful world—for you." Days passed, one after another, and my child, your father never stopped. I can endure hardship, I can exert myself, but I will never let you suffer. I hope you can play the piano someday, but learning anything well is never easy. Whether you become an artist or something else, it all depends on yourself. My child, we believe you will be successful; otherwise, why would so many people praise you? Keep a beautiful dream in your heart, waiting for you to strive for it. My child, as we grow older, you are also a continuation of our youth. Be a good person, cherish yourself, and let peace and happiness surround you. Know that a bright future belongs to you, and never give up; know how much we love you, and never forget… Xiao Cheng, do you know that this song is called "Child"? In this song, there is the boundless love that parents all over the world have for their children. Xiao Cheng, your life was given to you by your mother, and your future was protected by your father's life. Therefore, you must cherish your life and cherish your parents' love. No matter what storms or sorrows lie ahead, your parents hope you can bravely persevere and face them with a smile. Xiao Cheng, your parents expect you to become an outstanding person, but even more so, they expect you to become a healthy, cheerful, and happy person. No matter what hardships or setbacks you encounter in the future, your parents hope you will treat the world and those around you with a kind heart.
Xiao Cheng, know that a bright future belongs to you, never give up. Xiao Cheng, know how much we love you, never forget. Xiao Cheng, you are our most cherished love, forever and ever and ever… (Epilogue I - The End)
Postscript (3)
Let me talk about the epilogue. The reason I wrote the epilogue was perhaps because of a sudden idea. In December 2007, I suddenly had this question: What happened to Yu Lele, Lian Haiping, and Xu Chen after that? Without any expectations or outline, I just kept writing, and three days later, "Epilogue: The Dust Settles Down" was born.
In a sense, the epilogue is a sequel to the sequel. I really like this epilogue. I love hearing Yu Lele call Lian Haiping "Haiping," and I love her little frustration at the Civil Affairs Bureau entrance—this is the Yu Lele who can be spoiled and childlike. I love seeing her finally call him "Dad," and I love seeing her choose to stay at home to take care of her mother's feelings—this is the Yu Lele who has become sensible and grown up. I love seeing her make dumplings and soup for the one she loves, and I love seeing her take meticulous care of the sick Lian Haiping, even her sobbing for him—this is a flesh-and-blood, living Yu Lele in love. Her cleverness, her cunning, her curiosity, her pride, even those moments of blushing, those small but touching moments of shyness—these are all the subtlety and purity that I love.
She eventually transformed from her initial sharp edges to a calm and peaceful state, and finally to a bright and flamboyant youth.
However, the story doesn't end here. A friend reminded me—perhaps there really could be a little epilogue about the baby. In fact, many epilogues about babies in novels have genuinely warmed my heart.
However, this time I'm not writing about a picture of family harmony. Because, as we grow up, as we finally become wives, husbands, and parents, we suddenly realize that behind every warm moment with a cute little baby, there is a mother's heart-wrenching torment, even a gamble with her life; and behind every successful man, there is truly a woman who gave up all the romance, tenderness, and lifelong companionship she had fantasized about in her youth... At this point, I think you, who share my feelings, will understand: true love is silent. Because, without this kind of love, Yu Lele wouldn't have given up on Xu Chen at 20; without this kind of love, Yu Lele wouldn't have chosen to go to Jinzhai at 22; without this kind of love, Yu Lele wouldn't have switched to studying educational psychology at 25; without this kind of love, Yu Lele wouldn't have persuaded Lian Haiping to go to Suyang at 28; without this kind of love, Yu Lele wouldn't have insisted on giving up herself to save her child at 29… Her philosophy of life is perhaps very simple : as long as the one I love can be happy and joyful. Therefore, I call this side story related to the baby "You Are My Love." The baby is the love of Yu Lele and Lian Haiping, Lele is the love of Lian Haiping and Xu Chen, Lu Yuanyang and all the patients are Zhao Yinghua's love, and the baby, Haiping, Xu Chen, and even those children in the mountains, they will always be Yu Lele's love… I want to say: perhaps, we should all know that there are so many people in this world who love us. As long as we know how to love others, we can be loved; as long as we know how to give happiness to others, we can eventually obtain happiness—it turns out that the simplest substitution law in this world is not chemical, not physical, not mathematical, but human.