Hu Ni agreed to Xiao Wen's request but refused his offer of 5,000 yuan in "compensation." She told him that he couldn't afford it.
When Xiao Wen left, Hu Ni didn't even glance at him. Her first love, which had caused her so many nights of heartache, ended so abruptly, awkwardly, unbearably, and not worth remembering. Hu Ni even wished it had never happened.
Later, it was the teachers from the school's disciplinary committee and Xiao Wen's competitors.
“You can explain the situation clearly, and perhaps we can help you,” Xiao Wen’s competitor said, looking at Hu Ni with an all-knowing gaze through the lenses of his glasses.
Hu Ni stared blankly at the wall in front of her, not wanting to say anything.
"What are you still defending now? Tell us, and we can help you." The patient gaze behind the glasses was losing its patience.
"...He's someone from outside the school, my boyfriend."
"Mei Huni! You must trust the school and the leaders; they can help you."
"..."
"Okay, you can rest first. If you remember anything, then let us know."
Everyone who came had left. Hu Ni wanted to smoke. There were still a few people in the ward, including two young mothers who had just given birth. This was a non-smoking area. Putting a candy in her mouth couldn't quell the irritation in her throat. But that was all she could do.
Love that has expired is gone (Part 3)
gold
After spending more than ten days in the hospital, Hu Ni returned to her rented room. She had received her expulsion notice from school. The bright future she had planned was gone, the starting point she had fought for was canceled, the countless fantasies about the future were gone, and the ability to imagine the future to the fullest extent was gone. Terrible mediocrity and involuntary drifting along followed Hu Ni like a destiny, like a terrible nightmare.
I locked myself in my room for several days and finished that novella. Writing was my only lifeline, giving me hope of escaping a mediocre fate and, more importantly, saving my gloomy soul.
After spending several days holed up in her dorm room, Hu Ni finally convinced herself to accept the reality of the situation and to leave the room. After all, she still yearned for the outside world—a new and exciting world that had arrived more than two years earlier than she had anticipated, catching her completely off guard.
Hu Ni started looking for a job, a regular eight-hour job, a job that seemed very normal.
She attended numerous interviews, either failing or being rejected by the companies she applied to. Before she knew it, half a month had passed. Hu Ni started moving, wanting to move from Shapingba to Bayi Road in Jiefangbei, closer to all the companies she had applied to. Besides, she didn't want to live in this area filled with traces of schools.
Hu Ni packed her luggage, extremely simply: a cardboard box of clothes, a quilt, a pillow, some books, a kettle, and a photo of her mother. She packed everything up and scattered it haphazardly in the room, which exuded a sense of loneliness. Hu Ni didn't want to dwell on her feelings and emotions; she avoided thinking about them, avoided reflecting on them, and hurriedly went out to hail a taxi. With so much stuff, taking the bus would be too much trouble; a taxi should be able to easily fit it all.
Hu Ni waited at the intersection for a car, watching the street. A taxi passed by, and the driver slowed down when he saw Hu Ni standing there. Hu Ni took two steps back, indicating that she didn't need a ride. Hu Ni remained standing at the intersection, craning her neck to look around. Finally, she walked towards the phone booth.
He slowly dialed a few numbers, but finally ran out of energy and hung up the phone heavily, then turned and jumped into a taxi.
She opened her door to find the room in ruins. On the desk sat the small wooden carving Xiao Wen had given her, silent and expressionless. A gentle breeze ruffled the old, dark blue curtains, amplifying the desolation and emptiness. Hu Ni dared not linger. She picked up a pile of things from the floor and stumbled out.
The new home was in a small alley on Bayi Road, a slum in the city. It was an old, dilapidated wooden building. The landlady and her husband lived on the ground floor, and their youngest son, a young man with only a junior high school education, currently unemployed, but adorned with gleaming gold chains on his wrists and neck, and tattoos—an inscrutable character. His wife, a plump woman dressed fashionably but cheaply, with heavy makeup, said she ran a small noodle stall. Two young men working in Chongqing lived on the third floor; they were always impeccably dressed in suits, clean and sharp. Hu Ni guessed they were salesmen. Hu Ni lived on the second floor, next to the landlady and her husband. Next door to Hu Ni was a woman, petite, but with a masculine, strong physique and an equally hardened, wary gaze.
Hu Ni's new home had a large, old wooden bed covered with an equally old, blackened mattress. There was also a half-height wardrobe, a small window, a table, and a worn-out rattan chair. That was all the furniture in the room. The walls were covered with old newspapers, now yellowed and dusty. The wooden floor was completely peeling and chipped of its paint. There was a single incandescent bulb, of high quality, its thick layer of dust and grease indicating its age. It hung in the center of the room from a blackened wire, covered in a thick layer of dust and old cobwebs, its original appearance indistinguishable. It swayed precariously in the wind. It looked rather desolate.
Hu Ni suddenly regretted deciding to rent this place so quickly; she had no desire to stay in the house at all. But this was the first room she could find that was affordable.
Hu Ni stood there for a while in the middle of the room, which reeked of mildew, before starting to tidy up her temporary "home." She couldn't figure out where to begin. The mattress was so dirty that Hu Ni didn't even want to touch it. She picked it up with her fingertips and dragged it. Then, with a heavy heart, she picked it up and threw it outside. As it moved, dust swirled out, making Hu Ni feel nauseous. She brought over a basin of water and began wiping the bed frame, cabinets, table, and rattan chair, emptying the dark water basin after basin. Slowly, she put her things back in, and the room felt a little warmer. Hu Ni was already drenched in sweat.
She went downstairs to take a shower, and the landlord gave her and another girl this preferential treatment: they could use their shower room.
Hu Ni passed by their low, dark kitchen, which was crowded with the fat woman's belongings from her stall, and smelled of various seasonings.
Stepping into their makeshift, drafty shower room, which they had expanded themselves with bricks, it was pitch black even during the day. Hu Ni turned on the light. Inside, there was a tap, a small water tank, a large bucket, and a stool. Hu Ni placed her plastic bucket inside, filled it with water, and then draped her clothes one by one on the stool, slowly and carefully washing her body. She didn't want to think about her current situation or the hardships to come; she tried to blank her mind, but tears still streamed down her face. Hu Ni bathed herself while weeping.
On the first day, lying in the unfamiliar, musty bed, Hu Ni couldn't sleep. Every hair on her body refused to become one with the bed; she hated it, hated the room, and couldn't let her exhausted body settle down. Dawn was approaching when Hu Ni finally drifted off to sleep. She dreamt of her mother, a haggard mother, holding her hand. She was still the same as when she was a child. They were walking in a colorless wasteland. Hu Ni walked very carefully, afraid that this fleeting happiness would suddenly end…
Pretty Friend (Part 1)
gold
Hu Ni went to work as a receptionist at a large shopping mall in Jiefangbei, a job she earned through her looks and patience. It was the best job she could find. The salary wasn't high, but it was enough to make ends meet.
But her job involves shift work, so she still has free time to write. Writing is like a straw in a raging torrent, and Hu Ni wants to use it to swim against the current and escape the terrible fate of drifting along silently. This is the spiritual pillar that allows her to live in this place and stand in the front desk with a mechanical smile.
Hu Ni was at the age of fantasy, a beautiful and intelligent woman in her early twenties, unwilling to remain at the bottom of this noisy world. The world existed in its own way, the streets and corners filled with finance, entertainment, advertising, and performance art, while newspaper headlines were full of drug use, robbery, rape, and the global financial crisis. None of this concerned Hu Ni; she only hoped that she wouldn't sink into this vast world, but could still make a sound.
Standing at the flower-adorned reception desk in the mall's ground floor lobby, Hu Ni tried her best to maintain a genuine smile. She didn't understand which kind of genuine smile the department manager required; simply having a smile on her face was already quite good.
Working alongside Hu Ni was Xiao Yan, a stunningly beautiful and tall girl from Chongqing. It's not uncommon to see such beautiful women in Jiefangbei: delicate, well-hydrated skin, bright, sparkling eyes, full lips, a refined, small, and straight nose, and a near-perfect oval face. Chongqing is a place that produces many beautiful women.
Xiaoyan wore a well-fitting light blue-gray suit, just like Hu Ni, with a crisp white shirt underneath. Her long hair was also styled in a neat updo at the back of her head, looking clean and tidy.
They can't sit at work; they have to stand for hours on end, with a smile on their face.
As it was evening, the number of customers gradually decreased. When no one came in to inquire, Xiaoyan would keep smiling and talk to Hu Ni, which was her only pastime and pleasure at work. She spoke with the characteristics of a Chongqing native, and every sentence contained a swear word: "Damn it, my legs are sore from standing!" Hu Ni didn't know how to respond to her. Xiaoyan didn't need her to answer and said to herself, "After work, I'll take a scooter, wanna go? There are lots of people, it'll be a lot of fun."
Hu Ni shook her head and said, "I don't want to go. I don't know any of your friends."
Xiao Yan laughed and said, "You silly boy, you go straight home after work and hatch chicks! You might not know them today, but you'll know them tomorrow!"
Hu Ni knew that her swearing was habitual, so she didn't take it to heart and just laughed it off.
Someone walked over, and the two of them stopped talking, both wearing restrained, professional smiles.
A mother and her daughter were wrapping groceries. Xiaoyan took the groceries and quickly wrapped a beautiful gift. Watching the mother and daughter walk away, Xiaoyan said, "You wrap it next! You know how to wrap now, right?"
Hu Ni said, "Maybe."
Xiao Yan chuckled and said, "Look at those two idiots, are they filming a movie or what?! Those two are crazy!"
Hu Ni also saw two people who looked like middle school students hugging and kissing in a corner of the mall. Hu Ni was still smiling, feeling that she had laughed all the laughter she would ever have in her life during the few days she had worked here.
"Do you believe they didn't just act out of impulse, they just wanted to cause some excitement here, as if they were afraid others wouldn't know they've grown up?" Xiao Yan said with a cold, disdainful smile.
How did you know?
"Ha!" Xiao Yan laughed and said proudly, "When I was their age, I was like that too."
Another person came up and asked which floor the elderly woman's belongings were on. Xiaoyan put away her carefree smile and politely told her in slightly Chongqing-accented Mandarin, "They're on the fifth floor, next to the baby supplies." Watching the customer walk away, Xiaoyan said, "You, you remember everything I told you to remember, right?"
Hu Ni said, "More or less."
Pretty Friend (Part 2)
gold
It was past 10:30 when Hu Ni and Xiao Yan stood on the brightly lit street. Xiao Yan was still picked up by that tall, handsome young man. She jumped onto the back of his bicycle, wrapped her arms around his waist, and the bicycle wobbled as it slowly disappeared into the misty, brightly lit street. From afar, it looked like a scene from a nostalgic old movie, making Hu Ni feel a pang of sadness.
Hu Ni slowly walked towards "home," which was very close by, only a ten-minute walk away.
Hu Ni walked slowly; she didn't want to go back to that damp, stuffy, musty-smelling "home." The time before she left work each day was her happiest. After get off work, she had to face many problems, such as the "home" she had never been comfortable with.
Turning into the alley, all the hustle and bustle was left behind. This place seemed unrelated to the city; it was a dilapidated corner, many years behind the city. The narrow, dirty alley was flanked by crooked, historically significant houses. Men in baggy shorts and shirtless, women in wrinkled silk pajamas, and frail old men all enjoyed sitting in outdoor lounge chairs, fanning themselves with palm-leaf fans, or playing mahjong or cards around a small table with peeling paint. If it was still early, you might see some families had even moved their dining tables outside, with a few dishes on them—not particularly appealing, but undeniably enticingly fragrant. If it weren't for a small hot pot, thickly coated with red chili oil and brimming with various meats and vegetables, a family would be gathered around, sweating profusely, eating with great relish. Under the shade of the trees, several old men, still playing the erhu and singing Sichuan opera, were still singing with gusto, their voices swaying and nodding as they performed.
Hu Ni pushed open the old mahogany door. Upstairs, the couple was arguing loudly, with the woman screaming, the man roaring, and the sounds of fighting.
The red door closed, and the elderly landlord and landlady peeked out with anxious faces, glancing at Hu Ni and then at the noisy room upstairs. The door wasn't closed, and all the sounds squeezed outwards. The woman screamed hysterically, "I don't want to live anymore! I'll die for you, you bastard!" Then came the sounds of exertion, a heavy fall, and something rolling down. Then the man cursed, "You stupid bastard! I'll give you two a hard time explaining yourselves! You idiot!" Then the man came out, shirtless, carrying a piece of clothing. The woman, disheveled, chased after him, her fat face a picture of disfigurement from crying. She couldn't catch the man, so she could only scream at his retreating back, "You bastard, if you've got the guts, don't ever come back! Just die out there!"
The elderly couple tried to stop their enraged son, but the man had a lot of momentum and they couldn't pull him back. The old man could only sternly shout at his retreating back, "Sixth son! You come back here!" The son walked away without looking back. Hu Ni relaxed her body, which had been pressed tightly against the wall to avoid the man's aggressive walk, smiled at the somewhat embarrassed elderly couple, and went upstairs.
The stern-looking woman in the next room abruptly opened her door. Her hair was disheveled, dry, and split-ended. She wore a wrinkled, oversized silk nightgown, which made her appear even smaller. Her eyes were small and focused, with a hint of neurotic defiance. She glanced coldly at Hu Ni before quickly looking away. Carrying a basin filled with towels and soap, she ran downstairs with a brisk pace, seemingly full of energy.
Hu Ni entered the house, a wave of heat hitting her. The temperature inside was probably two degrees higher than outside. Hu Ni sat on the edge of the bed, slowly trying to relax. Suddenly, the woman next door, who was still crying, let out a loud noise, followed by the slamming of the door and the sound of her running down the stairs. The anxious voices of the two elderly people called out, "Lijuan! Where are you going!...Go back!" There was a hint of struggle in their voices. The out-of-control woman screamed, "...Let go! That son of a bitch doesn't want this family anymore, and neither do I!" The burly woman gained the upper hand and ran out of the house. A temporary calm returned to the building.
The room was unbearably hot, the sweltering air offering no escape. Sweat clung to her body, and the air reeked of perspiration. If she could, Hu Ni would rather work 24/7. She walked to the small window, leaned against the table, where a slight breeze seemed to be blowing. Looking out, she saw another small building across the street, its rooftop overflowing with grapevines, loofahs, and tomatoes—a chaotic yet lush display. A bamboo clothes rack hung there, laden with summer clothes: men's shorts and undershirts, women's underwear, bras, and oversized nightgowns.
Hu Ni took out a cigarette, lit it, and slowly inhaled. The sound of Sichuan opera playing from someone's television made Hu Ni unsure whether she was in a modern metropolis or some ancient, outdated place.
As with every moment spent in my room, I approached the pile of papers before me with utmost seriousness. Cigarette butts accumulated, but my pen continued to write. In truth, little of what I wrote was of value; perhaps I wouldn't even produce a single brilliant sentence all night. But I kept writing, afraid that if I stopped, I would sink deeper into the silent depths of the world, afraid that I would never have the strength to pull myself out again.
After a long silence followed the sound of the woman next door running upstairs, Hu Ni began packing her things. She took a basin, a bucket, a towel, soap, and a change of clothes and went out. The stern-faced woman hadn't even entered the house yet; she was already in the hallway, using a long bamboo pole to hang her clothes on a high rope. There was another puddle of water on the ground.
Hearing the noise, the woman cast her cold gaze again, but only for a moment before looking away.
Hu Ni went downstairs, into the kitchen, and then into the shower room. Inside, there was a smell of steam and soap.
Take off your clothes and wash them first. If you wash your clothes after showering, you'll sweat again. Put the clean clothes in a basin, place it on a high shelf, and then start showering. In Chongqing's summer, without air conditioning, showering is probably the most enjoyable moment of the day. The cool, clean water washes away all the sweat accumulated throughout the day, leaving you feeling refreshed for at least a few minutes afterward.
Before I could even dry myself off, sweat started pouring out again, so I just let it be.
Hu Ni stood where the sturdy woman had just stood, using the same bamboo pole to hang her clothes to dry under the light of the corridor. There was no sunlight here, and her clothes had a musty smell.
The red door opened, and a neatly dressed man strode upstairs, his face flushed from the alcohol. He saw Hu Ni, his eyes lighting up, and he gave a nonchalant "Hi!" like someone on TV. Many people these days make this gesture of "keeping up with the world," but seeing it on someone who, no matter how well-dressed, still exuded a rustic charm, made one's skin crawl. Hu Ni glanced at him, picked up her empty basin, and went back to her room expressionlessly. She didn't dislike his rusticity, but she hated his superficiality and "idiocy." She didn't bother saying a word to him.
The man had already been rebuffed by Hu Ni once, and if he hadn't been emboldened by alcohol today, he wouldn't have dared to provoke her again. Such a rebuff was bound to be embarrassing, but fortunately, he was emboldened by alcohol again, made a very stylish gesture, spread his hands, shrugged, smiled nonchalantly, and ran upstairs briskly.
Hu Ni moved the rattan chair to the bedside, placed the small fan on it, turned the fan to its highest setting, and then lay down on the bed. She tried not to think about anything. The wind carried a warm temperature, but it was better than nothing. Someone's television was still playing Sichuan opera, and as Hu Ni listened to the sound, it gradually faded into the distance, and she slowly fell asleep.
Pretty Friend (Part 3)
gold
It's almost inevitable that he has a close relationship with Xiaoyan, because Xiaoyan needs a place where no one will bother her.
In the changing room, Xiaoyan took off her work clothes, revealing a pale yellow bra and panties—a perfect body, flawless from head to toe. Hu Ni, facing the wall, changed in front of others; she couldn't be as at ease as Xiaoyan. But she felt scrutinizing gazes from behind, carefully analyzing her own body. She put on jeans and a T-shirt, her hair still tied up because of the heat, only removing the thick black bob. Turning around, she saw Xiaoyan wearing shorts that barely reached her ankles, a black tank top with silver glitter, and long, thick, reddish-brown hair. For Xiaoyan, the discomfort of the heat was far less convincing than her beauty.
When Xiaoyan first suggested going to Huni's rented apartment, Huni felt a bit abrupt. No one had ever been to her private space before. But Xiaoyan's joy and enthusiasm were almost irresistible. Huni then clarified that her place was "not fun." And it was true; Huni herself didn't like being there—there was nothing there, so what was there to do? Xiaoyan didn't mind, happily holding Xiaogang's hand and following behind, her long, reddish-brown hair swaying rhythmically behind her head.
In the musty-smelling room, a small fan lazily blew warm air. Snacks Xiaogang had bought were laid out on a stool. The three of them sat side-by-side on the bed, their shoes off on the floor, their bare feet dangling along the edge of the bed, looking rather bored. The atmosphere was somewhat awkward. Hu Ni felt she should do her part as hostess, but she couldn't find a good topic to talk about, and the atmosphere frequently became chilly.
But Hu Ni quickly realized that she was the only one feeling awkward; the two of them didn't need any topics to discuss, or even the presence of a third person. Hu Ni suddenly understood why Xiao Yan had come to this stuffy rented room on such a hot day.
"I'm going to buy some watermelon. You guys sit down for a bit." Hu Ni stood up.
"Do you want some watermelon?" Xiaoyan asked, lifting her head from Xiaogang's embrace, looking completely oblivious, though her eyes were already starting to mist. Hu Ni felt embarrassed to look at her, as if doing so would be like discovering her secret.
"Yes, please sit for a while." Hu Ni stood up, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Xiao Gang's hand moving around Xiao Yan's waist, getting into the mood very quickly. Hu Ni closed the door and went downstairs, hearing Xiao Yan's unrestrained shrill laughter.
Wandering aimlessly through the sweltering streets, vendors on both sides of the road vigorously fanned themselves with their hand fans.
I sat down at the shaved ice stand, ordered a bowl, and ate it slowly, the coolness startling me. After dawdling through the shaved ice, I realized it was still too early and continued walking. I stopped at a bookstall, flipping through some expired magazines, old magazines that had been through several hands. They were cheap, but I didn't want to own them because their previous owners were unknown—maybe one of them had hepatitis. I gave up on that pile of old magazines and went into a stereo store. It was then that I fell in love with Faye Wong's songs. Perhaps I should buy myself a portable music player and listen to those vibrant sounds.
At the street corner, Hu Ni bought a huge watermelon, so heavy she had to carry it with both hands. Carrying the watermelon, she slowly walked back, thinking of Xiao Yan and the other girl, their bodies warmly entwined in bed, in that stuffy, humid room.
Walking up the stairs, I deliberately made my footsteps heavy, the wooden floorboards creaking loudly in a show of bravado.
The door was open, and Xiaoyan was a clever woman.
"Wow! Such a big watermelon!" Xiao Yan greeted him with a smile, her expression somewhat exaggerated, and her eyes sparkling with tiny stars.
Xiao Gang excitedly took the watermelon and busied himself cutting it open with a small knife. The three of them ate the watermelon, juice dripping all over their hands and faces. Xiao Yan took off a decorative ring from her hand, afraid of getting it dirty. She hadn't seen her wear it before; it was probably a gift from Xiao Gang. The ring was set with a red metallic rose; it probably wasn't worth much, but people in love don't care. Xiao Yan glanced at Xiao Gang again, and the two exchanged a knowing smile. Hu Ni looked away and took a big bite out of her watermelon.
Pretty Friend (Part 4)
gold
She dreams every day, seemingly full of energy. In her dreams, she sees unfamiliar streets, minibuses passing by one after another. With each one, Hu Ni chases after it, frantically trying to catch a ride, afraid she'll miss out, but in reality, she never gets one. The streets are dimly lit and deserted, except for Hu Ni frantically chasing after the speeding minibuses…
The novella I'd previously submitted was rejected by the magazine, lying on my desk, utterly worthless and lifeless. The elation I felt when I received my first payment for a manuscript was gone, replaced only by a fearful anxiety about my future. My future. I couldn't bear to live a mediocre life at the bottom of society forever; it was too terrifying.
Out of fear, I devoted all my spare time to writing. I'd hunch over my desk, pen in one hand, cheap cigarette between the other, the ashtray always piled high with cigarette butts. Whether I could write anything or not, I'd write aimlessly; as long as I was writing, there was hope.
When I really can't write anything, I give my work a title, a very attractive title, a title that makes people want to keep reading after just one glance.
But what always attracted Hu Ni was the Sichuan opera singing that drifted from somewhere on TV, its soft, intermittent melody stirring up a strong sense of drowsiness.