Hu Ni and Qiu Ping smiled at each other. Qiu Ping said, "We need to get a marriage certificate, but we don't need to. We don't have any relatives in Shenzhen anyway."
“How can that be?” Qiu Ping’s mother said, “What kind of wedding is it if we don’t have a ceremony and don’t invite your colleagues and friends?”
"Mom, don't worry about these things. We've already thought it through. We'll get married in a church and won't invite anyone."
"Do people in Shenzhen get married like this? They've copied foreigners."
"Let them do what they want. It's not our business to interfere too much in the children's affairs. A church wedding is a great idea; it's a good tradition," Qiu Ping's father said slowly and deliberately, adopting the tone of the head of the family.
"This is a life-changing event, and we can't be careless about it," Qiu Ping's mother said. "We can't let Hu Ni suffer any injustice."
Hu Ni's nose started to sting, and she put down her chopsticks, saying, "Mom, I'm not wronged at all."
“Sigh, seeing you like this, your father and I are at ease. In another year or two, we will retire. When you have children, while your father and I are still able to move around, we can help you take care of the children. You are both getting on in years.”
Hu Ni trembled slightly, looked down at Qiu Ping, who was also looking at her, and shook her head slightly.
Qiu Ping's mother continued, "Hu Ni, you young people don't pay much attention. When you have children, you can't work in front of a computer anymore. It's bad for the baby; the radiation is too strong. You should find a less demanding job then. If that's not possible, then quit your job. Have the baby, recover your health, and then we can talk about it again."
“Mom, look at you, we’re still young, how can we have children so early?” Qiu Ping interrupted her mother.
"Alright, alright, I won't say anything more. You all understand."
"Come on, Hu Ni, eat some fish. This was brought by a student's parent. It's river fish caught in the river. The meat is tender and very fragrant." Qiu Ping's father put a piece of fish into Hu Ni's bowl, as if it were a mountain pressing down on her, making it hard for her to breathe.
The meal lost all its flavor.
Qiu Ping's parents remained calm and composed, slowly eating the food on the table, watching the program with great interest, saying a few words here and there, and then smiling contentedly, looking like they were enjoying their old age in a happy and harmonious way.
Their happiness filled Hu Ni with an overwhelming sense of guilt. She knew she would shatter all their hopes, utterly and completely. She couldn't leave them any hope for the future; she couldn't continue their bloodline in this world. She would become their sinner. Perhaps Qiu Ping could accept the fact of not having children, but they couldn't. Maybe they accepted it out of kindness, but their hearts must be filled with immense pain. Hu Ni's heart ached, shattering into pieces. She detached herself from this joyful atmosphere, feeling cold and uneasy.
Hu Ni slowly stood up.
"What is it, Hu Ni? Is there anything you need?" Qiu Ping's mother asked considerately.
"No, I need to use the restroom." Hu Ni seemed to be struggling to escape. She slowly walked into the restroom, shutting out An Yi's joy and Qiu Ping's worried gaze.
Standing in front of the sink, looking at my face in the mirror, I was completely silent. My mind was in turmoil, struggling with unease. I put my hand under the tap; the water gushed out, and the cool water seeped right into my heart.
"Hu Ni, hurry up, it's Song Dandan's skit!" Qiu Ping's mother called out, her tone cheerful and satisfied.
"Yes, I'm here!" Hu Ni replied, drying her hands as she went out and saw Qiu Ping's worried look. She smiled at him and then sat down in her seat.
“I should tell your family the truth, Qiuping… Can we really be together?” Hu Ni said, holding a bowl and a rag covered in foam.
"Don't talk nonsense. It's New Year's Day, so don't say anything. We'll talk to them later," Qiu Ping said in a low voice.
Footsteps sounded outside, and the two quickly stopped talking. Qiu Ping's mother came in, her face filled with a happy satisfaction. She said, "You two go watch TV, I'll do the washing. You don't even know where these things are."
"Mom, just sit still and watch your TV. We'll be fine here. Go on," Qiu Ping said, shooing his mother out.
Hu Ni put the washed dishes into the sink, and Qiu Ping rinsed them. The water was flowing and splashing everywhere.
"Qiuping, I can't hold on anymore. I feel like I'm hurting your parents. I...we can't be together."
"We'll tell them about the situation later, but not now."
"Really...we shouldn't be together," Hu Ni said softly, her words barely audible.
Qiu Ping hugged Hu Ni and said with his wet hands, "Don't do this to me, Hu Ni. You're being too cruel to me. You know I can't live without you... Besides, so many people don't want children these days. Children aren't important to us. What's important is that we're together."
Hu Ni looked at him, this man she knew so well. The pain in his eyes was real, a real pain that pierced Hu Ni deeply, making her unable to let go. And did she really want to "let go"? Didn't she also want to end her aimless wandering and spend every ordinary yet fulfilling life with the man she loved?
"Promise me, Hu Ni, don't say things like that to me again, please don't say them again."
Hu Ni struggled internally. She knew how fragile "agreeing" was. She nodded, tears streaming down her face, cool and refreshing.
As soon as Lianqing left home, she suddenly matured considerably. Her previous unruly and domineering behavior at home subsided considerably after she left. Watching her act like a spoiled brat at home was utterly infuriating. Of course, there was also a touch of jealousy in Hu Ni's eyes. Seeing her uncle and aunt showering Lianqing with attention was undeniably unsettling. But once away from her parents, Lianqing became much more mature, behaving very obediently as she followed behind her cousin and Qiuping.
The Lost Child (Part 5)
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Household registration booklet, certificate of unmarried status, three marriage registration photos, plus individual photos of the two of them. All the paperwork was complete. With these documents, the two of them would be a "legally protected" couple, a formal certification, a sense of rightful possession. With a marriage certificate, Hu Ni would no longer hesitate about whether it was right or wrong, no longer carry the heavy burden of guilt. She believed that guilt would definitely be lighter, because they were now husband and wife. After playing with these documents for a while, Hu Ni closed them in the drawer, then comfortably laid her body, dressed in a white silk nightgown, on the bed.
The water was running in the bathroom; Qiu Ping was taking a shower. He had taken a day off; tomorrow, they would go to get their marriage certificate. From then on, they would be husband and wife, and would depend on each other for the rest of their lives. A sense of happiness spread through her. But it was also clearly mixed with something false, something unreliable. She touched her lower abdomen; this was the source of all the unreliability.
The phone rang abruptly, and without answering, Hu Ni knew who it was. It was indeed Qiu Ping's mother. She repeatedly reminded Hu Ni not to eat breakfast the next morning and to get a good rest the night before. Her nervousness was contagious; after hanging up, Hu Ni felt a surge of excitement and tension.
The sound of running water in the bathroom stopped, and then the door opened. Qiu Ping, wearing only shorts, was drying his hair with a large towel. Under the lamplight, his body glowed with a golden light, breathtakingly beautiful. From then on, even sex was taken for granted, protected by law. Hu Ni thought strangely.
He walked over, picked up a book from the bedside table, and patted Hu Ni on the shoulder: "Go to sleep early, you have to get up early tomorrow."
Hu Ni rolled over and lay still, the warm light stirring her nerves and filling her with excitement. Qiu Ping's book was slowly turning, the very soft sound of pages turning periodically tapping a string in her waiting mind.
Hu Ni rolled over and embraced Qiu Ping, the man she loved and was about to spend her life with. He put down his book and felt her dampness. He leaned his handsome face closer, the scent of shower gel and his unique aroma intensely stimulating Hu Ni's senses. He kissed her gently, and slowly, the kiss became more passionate. In his caresses, Hu Ni blossomed like a flower.
Hu Ni closed her eyes slightly, feeling the inescapable passion of desire. Qiu Ping's vision blurred. The climax threw Hu Ni heavily into the sky, her body going limp with ecstasy, and then, like a thoughtless feather, she drifted down uncontrollably. What followed was a wave of exhaustion.
There's no reason to have insomnia anymore, no reason to feel even the slightest bit unhappy. The world is as soft and warm as a down comforter, and tomorrow is beckoning to Hu Ni like a sweet lollipop.
Hu Ni had another dream. She dreamt she was standing on unfamiliar flower petals, the petals shimmering with dazzling dewdrops, their iridescent colors mesmerizing. Dragonflies flew in the sky, many dragonflies, colorful dragonflies, flitting lightly around Hu Ni…
The Lost Child (Part 6)
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The shrill sound of the alarm clock pulled Hu Ni back to the bright, sunny morning. Opening her sleepy eyes, she saw Qiu Ping lazily reach out, put his arm around Hu Ni's shoulder, kiss her forehead, and say, "Good morning! My wife!"
Hu Ni smiled, but seemed somewhat uneasy.
The two squeezed into the bathroom to rinse their teeth and shower. Qiu Ping happily urged them on, saying his colleague's advice was to arrive early; otherwise, they wouldn't be able to get the forms, and the medical check-up would be delayed, wasting a lot of time. The atmosphere was joyful, leaving no room for Hu Ni to question anything. At this moment, they were like balloons floating in the sky, soaring high, but Hu Ni knew that balloons are light and unreal. Could a marriage without the approval of family truly be happy? But Hu Ni didn't want to pull the balloons floating in the sky back down. She avoided certain questions, letting the false happiness hypnotize her.
The premarital education classroom in the hospital was already crowded with young men and women. Seeing this, Hu Ni and Qiu Ping prepared themselves to wait. In the morning, they busily ran between several floors, finally handing over all the test results around 11 a.m.
In the afternoon, I watched a video introducing some basic sex education. Halfway through, I was kicked out by the OB-GYN doctor, who said I had to attend a prenatal education class there.
A large group of people crowded outside the examination room, complaining to an older doctor in charge of premarital checkups. Less than ten minutes later, the group was back in the classroom watching the video, and the plump obstetrician and the pregnant woman she knew walked out of the classroom arrogantly.
There weren't many people watching the video attentively in the classroom; most were reading newspapers, and some were even sleeping on their desks. In reality, they just wanted a place to sit while waiting for their test results.
The video was showing the female reproductive structure. Hu Ni felt a lump in her throat, like a chicken bone was stuck there. It was this video that gave her the courage to pull the balloon back from the sky the moment she was about to receive her marriage certificate, even seeing Qiu Ping's disappointed and sorrowful face. "I need permission," Hu Ni insisted. "I can't lie to my elders." Hu Ni insisted, tears streaming down her face. Qiu Ping watched the balloon drift away helplessly. All he could do was ask his parents to come to Shenzhen during the summer vacation and then find an opportunity to tell them. He was confident they would accept it because of their kindness, because they were both teachers, because they liked Hu Ni so much, and because they were relatively open-minded. But he didn't dare to bring it up on the phone rashly, because they were old-fashioned, traditional, and still longed for grandchildren.
They fell silent and returned to their room, still holding hands, but the balloons that had brought them joy floating in the sky were gone.
"Let's wait a little longer," said Hu Ni.
Okay, let's wait a little longer. Qiu Ping compromised.
If you don't catch the balloon the first time, will you have another chance to catch its floating string?
The Lost Child (Part 7)
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Life went on peacefully, hurried and mundane, so mundane that even the happiness around us was not easily noticed.
On a weekend evening, Hu Ni put on her apron and started cooking. Qiu Ping was hosting his college classmates at home today, since none of them had seen his new house or met his fiancée.
I remember Xiaoyan once mocking the goals many women strive for these days: to be a lady in the living room, a housewife in the kitchen, and a slut in bed. Damn it! Don't women these days get tired? Is it worth degrading themselves for those worthless men? Those were Xiaoyan's exact words. Yet, she lost her life because of a man. A woman who saw everything clearly lost herself in her man's hands.
The pickled fish in the pot was bubbling away, a dish Xiaoyan had taught her to make. Hu Ni cooked all the dishes she knew how to make. Besides the pickled fish, there was also twice-cooked pork, also taught by Xiaoyan. Then there was scrambled eggs with tomatoes, cucumber salad, and a large pot of black-boned chicken soup. Xiaoyan drinks black-boned chicken soup at least once a month; she says it's a beauty soup for women and must be drunk at least once a month.
The air was filled with the smell of cooking oil and vegetables, lacking the enticing aroma of others' cooking, just the smell of ordinary food. Hu Ni felt a pang of regret that she hadn't learned any special techniques from cookbooks. Actually, she was willing to please Qiu Ping. "Please" was a very apt word; Hu Ni was more than willing to be the kind of woman Xiao Yan criticized—as long as Qiu Ping liked it, she was happy to be that kind of "all-around" woman. If Xiao Yan were here, she would definitely laugh at her; sometimes, a friend's teasing was enjoyable, as long as Xiao Yan was around.
Hu Ni sighed softly and placed the dishes one by one on the table, along with a few cold dishes and braised dishes she had bought at the supermarket to make up for her poor cooking skills.
Then she washed her face, removing the grease and grime. She then combed her slightly disheveled hair. Looking at herself in the mirror, she saw deep, dark eyes, a small, straight nose, delicate lips, ivory-white skin, a thin face, and a pointed chin. To outsiders, she would still be beautiful, even very beautiful. But in Hu Ni's eyes, she looked haggard. She had seen her own pure and innocent self from a few years ago, and looking at herself in the mirror now, Hu Ni felt a touch of helpless sadness. This made her feel even luckier, because she had Qiu Ping. No matter what changes the world might bring, there would always be someone, the person she loved most, sharing these changes with her.
Guests arrived in waves, all relatively young men, accompanied by their colorful wives or girlfriends. It was a healthy circle, with normal work and a normal lifestyle. These were the most ordinary members of the city's middle class, often referred to as "high-level white-collar" or "gold-collar" workers—the most stable and hardworking segment of society. They were the class that built their lives through their own intelligence.
A group of experienced people chatted amiably, interspersed with jokes, some bawdy and some lighthearted. The food on the table, despite its lack of flavor, didn't affect sales; Hu Ni happily reduced the portions, and the red wine in the bottles slowly dwindled, leading to even more enthusiastic conversation among the people at the table.
The loud slamming of the door temporarily interrupted their excited conversation. Lianqing threw her high heels on the floor and walked in barefoot. She hated wearing high heels more than anything in her life; they didn't give her the cool vibe she wanted at all, and instead, they pinched her feet painfully. If the director hadn't insisted that she wear high heels for today's music video, she would never have worn them, let alone for two days straight. As soon as she got on the bus, she couldn't wait to take them off, intending to put them back on when she got off. But when the bus stopped, she just couldn't bring herself to put her feet back into the narrow bus. She walked back carrying her shoes like that, and many people stared at her. She glared at them, feeling a little smug. Because people might also be looking at her because of her unusual beauty. The director of the music video repeatedly expressed his feelings to Lianqing, saying that he would definitely give her a role in his next TV series. Lianqing casually brushed him off; she wasn't a little girl anymore. Trying to lure her with unpredictable "futures"? No way! But Lianqing still left her phone number with the director, who was practically drooling. What if he actually landed a TV series? What if she really did become famous overnight with a role, like the wildly popular "Little Swallow" from a few years ago? Thinking about her unpredictable and glorious future, Lianqing smiled calmly.
A group of people were drawn to the person who suddenly entered from outside the door. His face was stunningly young, his figure was slender and sexy, his skin was smooth and delicate with a brown tan, his hair was slightly messy and boyish, and his ears were adorned with several silver earrings.
"Lianqing, have you eaten?" Hu Ni's concern was very practical; Lianqing's skin and figure were secondary in her eyes.
“I’ve already eaten. But…” Lian Qing approached with great interest, but after looking at the dishes on the table, she turned away in disappointment: “You guys eat, I’ve already eaten.”
"My sister-in-law, Mei Lianqing." Qiu Ping seemed somewhat excited due to the effects of alcohol.
"Want to come and play with everyone?" Hu Ni wanted to show her care for her cousin at any time, since she was staying at her house.
Lianqing took a torch-shaped ice cream from the refrigerator, licked it, and slid onto the sofa. She sensed someone intently watching her face, and suddenly turned her head, a mischievous chuckle playing on her lips. She wanted to give this spy a fright.
When she saw that mature, handsome, slightly world-weary face, the thin-rimmed glasses, and the neatly shaved buzz cut, she was utterly startled. Yes, she was startled; his ambiguous, half-smiling gaze also startled her. Her tongue lingered seductively on the tip of her ice cream. What a nightmare, running into this guy in her own home! Lian Qing immediately abandoned her plan to watch TV and scurried towards her room.
"Lianqing, have some fruit. It was a gift from a friend, and it's very fresh," Hu Ni said.
“Yes, very fresh, still with the leaves on,” the handsome man said, a cold sneer playing on his lips.
Lianqing pulled her tongue back and said, "I'll have ice cream." Before entering, she saw the woman sitting next to the handsome man; she was a fairly pretty woman, also wearing glasses, and looked like a middle school teacher. Lianqing secretly breathed a sigh of relief; that woman couldn't compare to her. Actually, she didn't know that the woman also had a very respectable education and a job that paid over ten thousand yuan a month. In Lianqing's eyes, women's jobs were just for fun, and of course, they couldn't earn any decent money from them.
Lianqing felt relieved. She exaggeratedly licked her ice cream and proudly returned to her room under the handsome man's amused gaze. In her room, devoid of any entertainment, Lianqing was drawn to the sounds outside. Actually, what stirred within her wasn't the commotion she heard, but the man she'd met at the bar. Lianqing's lower body heated up, involuntarily becoming wet. Desire, like a watery witch, tempted her to stand within his sight, to let him drool over her beauty.
Lian Qing couldn't sit still any longer. Why should she have to avoid him? With a somewhat unnatural pride, she sat down on the sofa under the handsome man's ambiguous gaze. Yanni's album "In the Mirrore" was playing from the stereo. She snapped the stereo off, turned on the TV, and found a teen idol drama with many handsome men and beautiful women. While watching, her heart was pounding wildly. Sitting with her back to them, her eyes felt like they were in the back of her head; everything in front of her was blurry.
Lian Qing discerned the man's voice amidst the cacophony of sounds; it was low and sensually husky. He was talking with them about jokes from their school days, then laughing unrestrainedly.
Some people started getting up and going to the balcony to enjoy the breeze and the view.
The man walked over with a wine glass in his hand, and Lian Qing's muscles tensed up.
The man sat down on the sofa next to Lianqing, looking completely at ease. Lianqing was so startled she almost jumped up. She glanced at him sideways, and he was looking at her with a knowing, half-smiling expression.
Something was stirring inside her, a warm, tingling sensation. He was incredibly sexy, and there was a strong magnetic field around him that stirred Lianqing's consciousness, her breasts, and her entire body, creating an irresistible urge.
"Are you alright?" the man asked.
Lianqing nearly choked on her own saliva. She coughed but didn't answer. She was proud.
A woman who looked like a middle school teacher also came over and sat down next to the man. She was very docile and advised him to drink less alcohol.
The man gazed at the woman with a sexy smile, then said in a very seductive voice, "Okay."
A slight, lingering pain welled up inside Lianqing, and she bitterly decided to stop giving him the cold shoulder. What a despicable man!
Qiu Ping walked over and introduced them. His name was Yan Gu, a very strange name. Lian Qing had forgotten the woman's name; she didn't need to remember it.
“Mei Lianqing…” the man murmured, “A very good name.”
Lying in bed, Lianqing was still pondering his words, hoping to find some different information in them. But it seemed there was nothing.
Lianqing couldn't sleep. Her mind was filled with the passionate scene from the bar that day. She threw off the covers, stripped off all her clothes, and the blue moonlight streamed through the window, casting a mysterious blue mist over her slender, sexy body. She writhed in pain on the bed, moaning softly, imagining the smell of tobacco and the scent of a man on his body…
The phone rang sharply, and Lianqing quickly grabbed the receiver. She knew who it was that would call her so late at night; he was thinking of her, she was sure.