Kapitel 28

“It’s fine, still the same. Almost the same as a few years ago.” Zou Yibei took out the screen to show her the photos.

"Nothing happened? As far as I remember... after the earthquake and tsunami, was there any rebuilding?"

"No... Country E has been doing very well these past few years. There have been earthquakes and tsunamis in the Pacific Ocean, but the J Islands were submerged due to land subsidence and cracks caused by volcanic eruptions and earthquakes. However, they were in the deep ocean and did not affect major powers. There are reports that the global climate may be affected by volcanic ash."

"J Islands..."

"Yes, it's a very remote island. I had a strange dream about it a long time ago, which is why I started paying attention to it."

"What are your plans after this? By the way, why don't you go back to school and get your bachelor's degree? This is quite a long break from school..."

"Oh yes... How are the other students doing now?"

"Qiao Xin has truly become a programmer now, and an incredibly straight man. His best buddy Zhao Xiaonan is now a complete shut-in, single for life. Your roommates Liang Meng and Bu Nana have also become staunch non-marriage advocates. So look at the current birth rate..."

"There was no graduation ceremony or graduation photos that year because of the pandemic. Were they made up for later?" Qi Yi'an felt that the world had become distorted.

"No...time has passed, it's probably too late to make up for it..."

While chatting casually with Zou Yibei, Qi Yi'an took a deep breath, got up, and headed to the kitchen.

"I remember you said a few years ago that you were going to the US for further studies. How was it there?"

"Yes! It was several years ago... I have Alzheimer's, I can't even remember when I told you, hahaha."

"Chef Qi, are you going to cook yourself? I haven't had your cooking in such a long, long, long time!" Zou Yibei walked into the kitchen and saw Qi Yi'an preparing to cook asparagus.

"When did I become a master chef?" Qi Yi'an finished rinsing the food and scooped it out of the water.

"Huh..." Huh? Zou Yibei was a little stunned. He couldn't quite put his finger on where the impression came from, "Didn't you always say you wanted to learn to be a chef when you got tired of writing your papers? And then you actually..." Learned to be a chef?

But Qi Yi'an had her accident before she graduated... in 2020. After that, she was always...

Zou Yibei stared blankly at Qi Yi'an in front of him. So many years have passed, has it been too long, causing him to confuse her experiences with those of others?

"Haha, really?" Qi Yi'an chuckled lightly, then carefully poured soy sauce and squeezed out wasabi. "I think I've always wanted to learn to be a chef."

"How do you add wasabi to asparagus? That's amazing." Zou Yibei looked up at her natural expression.

"..." Qi Yi'an stopped what he was doing.

Wasabi…yes, why put wasabi in asparagus? She found herself doing it completely unconsciously, and wondered why.

Why add wasabi to asparagus?

"That's how my mom makes it, and I think it tastes pretty good."

"It's delicious!"

"Haha, then you should eat more."

But Qi Yi'an's mother is not good at cooking and never adds mustard to asparagus.

Where did this impression come from, and why do I feel a headache?

"What's wrong, Qi Yi'an?" Zou Yibei noticed that she had stopped halfway through her work and her eyes had suddenly dimmed, so he couldn't help but remind her with some concern.

"...Oh," she snapped out of her reverie and smiled apologetically. "I don't know why I added wasabi, maybe it'll taste good?"

"Hmm, we can give it a try. I'll go out and set the table for you."

"Okay, I'll be done in a bit."

Qi Yi'an lowered her head, dipped a bit of wasabi in it, and tasted the asparagus. So spicy, so pungent. The spiciness made her squint, her brows furrowed, and tears welled up in her eyes. She slowly squatted down, holding onto the counter, and covered her face. Her heart ached, a bittersweet pain, as if a piece of it was missing. So spicy, so many tears.

She covered her eyes and sobbed uncontrollably.

"An'an! What's wrong?" Zou Yibei quickly came over to support her.

Qi Yi'an wiped away her tears hastily and forced a smile, "It's nothing, I guess it's just that I haven't had wasabi in so long that my taste buds aren't used to it anymore."

Chapter 38 Dream.

"You don't need to worry too much. Your condition has been gradually improving over the past year or so, but it takes time," the doctor comforted you. "You still need to take your medicine every day."

Qi Yi'an sat there blankly, her expression somber. After a long while, she finally murmured, "Thank you, doctor." She then stood up, leaning on her walking stick, and prepared to go out to get her medicine. She had become increasingly taciturn, only speaking more to those close to her, as if intentionally trying to isolate herself from the world.

She alone endured a pain that others could not comprehend, spending countless desperate nights by herself. To others, she was simply abnormal. She considered many methods; over the years, there must have been traces of her life. If she could find some of these traces, she could prove that what she said actually happened, and that she wasn't just talking nonsense due to mental instability.

For example, she vaguely remembered having tattoos in several places on her body, which would prove that she had really experienced those times! But when she bent down or looked in the mirror, she found that her body was empty except for the scars. Impossible, they were clearly right there. She nervously rubbed them hard, her skin turned red, hurt, and bled, but there was still only plain skin.

For example, her diary! She has a habit of keeping a diary! Finding the diary should solve the problem! So after her health improved a bit, she went back to her old home and frantically searched for things... her room, storage room, boxes, diary, dusty, yellowed pages, the words stuck in the autumn of 2019... These actions only added another illness to her in everyone's eyes, some incomprehensible compulsive behaviors.

"Young lady, here for another check-up?" As she walked out of the ward, the cleaning lady in the corridor, who had seen her come by often, started to recognize her. She had a colorful afro, but it was clear that she worked at the hospital, so she had it tied up and was wearing a hat.

When she saw Qi Yi'an, she kindly came over to help him. "How are you feeling? Are you feeling any better?"

"Hmm..." Qi Yi'an responded passively, still looking dejected. His physical health was gradually improving, but his mental state...

Two men in suits suddenly appeared around the corner ahead, their expressions serious and their steps hurried. The woman carrying a bag seemed to be the man's secretary. As they passed by quickly, Qi Yi'an realized she seemed to have seen the man's face somewhere before. She followed his figure with a surprised gaze, as if she were one step closer to something she had been searching for. The man continued walking forward for a while, then pushed open the door and entered room 911.

Qi Yi'an wanted to turn around and chase after him immediately, but his legs were weak, so he had to struggle to move his feet.

"Hey? What's wrong, little girl?"

"Uh... Auntie, do you know who that man is?" Qi Yi'an asked, trying to remain calm.

"What's wrong, child? Do you know him? He's probably here to see someone. There's a Miss Qin in ward 911 who's a regular here, just like you. She comes to stay every now and then if she's not feeling well."

Qi Yi stared quietly at the door of room 911, took a deep breath, and made up his mind to walk towards that place. Closer, much closer.

Just as she was two steps away from the door, several medical staff rushed forward, cutting in front of her and pushing the door open. Even with a mask on, Qi Yi'an immediately spotted Li Feiyan among them. Li Feiyan glanced at Qi Yi'an sideways as she walked, somewhat surprised, but too busy to stop and speak. Qi Yi'an was about to approach when a nurse stopped her at the door, saying, "Excuse me, unauthorized personnel please leave."

Unrelated personnel...

"Never mind..." Qi Yi'an stood silently with a deep gaze, then turned and walked back towards the exit with a hesitant gait. "It's alright, Aunt Li. I'll go back now."

"Oh... Xiao Qi, take care." Although Aunt Li didn't know what Qi Yi'an was thinking, she noticed her absent-mindedness. She helped her to the door, and after watching Qi Yi'an take a few steps, she called out again, "Little girl..."

Qi Yi'an turned his head, his gaze heavy with sorrow.

"Life is still long."

When Qin Ruoshui woke up, she saw a man in a suit standing by the window, looking at her with his back to the light.

"Lin Yan...?" she asked weakly.

"Hmm, you're awake?" Lin Yan frowned as she looked at the scar on Qin Ruoshui's wrist.

"I heard you were hospitalized again, so I came to see you. Xiao Zhang, could you please get those documents out?"

"The transfer of these ownership rights has been completed. Take a look." Lin Yan carefully helped her sit up and handed her the documents.

"I never expected that in the end, all that would be left were those little things that I thought I could just play with casually back then... Sigh, it's a pity I can't go back there to take a look." Qin Ruoshui looked at the documents and couldn't help but sigh.

"Fortunately, some of our assets survived. With proper management, they should be enough to support us," Lin Yan comforted her. "I will take care of you too. I promised your brother."

"How could Qin Ye have been forced to such a point? Was death inevitable?" Qin Ruoshui lowered her head, her eyes dark.

"When he was about to invest in those gray-area projects, I advised him that it would be better to be more cautious and prudent."

“There have been many political changes in recent years, and I’m afraid someone wants to get rid of him…” Lin Yan took off his glasses and rubbed his furrowed brows.

"I'm sorry... Xiaoruo..."

"...Thank you... for helping me with these things." Qin Ruoshui smiled, a rare occurrence, but Lin Yan felt inexplicably uneasy looking at that smile.

"There's still a long way to go..."

Qi Yi'an silently repeated the words, then smiled bitterly. She was only twenty... no, thirty years old this year. Thank you for your kindness, Auntie... but sometimes, it's precisely because life is still long, dragging along this ailing body, that time seems especially cruel. It's like being sentenced to life imprisonment in one's youth, life becoming meaningless, leaving only bitter endurance.

The sun was setting, day after day, and every time this happened, Qi Yi'an felt an endless restlessness and emptiness, surging and churning within her, unable to find a way out. She looked up at the sky, which gradually changed from orange-red to deep blue, and took the medicine she had just picked up from the hospital that day.

When Li Feiyan got home from get off work and knocked on the door but received no response, she took the spare key and opened the door. She saw her cane lying to one side and quickly went into the room to look for someone. Qi Yi'an was slumped on the balcony floor, leaning against the wall with his head resting on the railing. His eyes were dazed and his lips were frighteningly pale.

"Qi Yi'an? Qi Yi'an? What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?" Qi Yi'an was already feeling dizzy and didn't understand what she was saying. Li Feiyan glanced at the scattered empty medicine boxes on the living room table, then, supporting her shoulders, asked loudly, "Did you overdose on your medication?! Is that right, Qi Yi'an?"

Qi Yi'an nodded and smiled.

Li Feiyan looked at the woman with vacant eyes and took a deep breath. She immediately went to the kitchen to get water and forced her to drink it; she had to induce vomiting right away.

Qi Yi'an kept her lips tightly pressed together, not taking a single sip, and knocked the water bottle over. She was determined to die and no longer wanted to hold on.

Consciousness began to slowly fade.

Li Feiyan quickly dialed 120; fortunately, she lived not far from the hospital for convenient commuting. Qi Yi'an was quickly taken to the hospital and needed immediate gastric lavage. Qi Yi'an resisted; his usually frail body struggled, requiring several medical staff to forcibly restrain him, and his mouth was full of blood as he struggled.

When she woke up again, she had a bunch of tubes inserted into her body. Her hands and feet were tied, probably to prevent her from doing anything else troublesome.

Actually, there's no need for that, Qi Yi thought to herself. She didn't have much strength left, and since she couldn't move anyway, it was all the same.

I wanted to sleep, but Li Feiyan said I couldn't sleep yet, I absolutely couldn't sleep. I was so cold, and my heart and back ached terribly. I couldn't speak or move.

Li Feiyan tucked the blanket around her and said softly, "The dosage is already quite high." Her face showed unconcealed exhaustion and absent-mindedness, which made Qi Yi'an feel guilty.

I drift into a deep sleep, then wake up, only to find myself in a similar, unsolvable cycle. I don't know if hours or days have passed.

Sometimes there were medical staff in the room, sometimes Li Feiyan was there, sometimes she was alone, sometimes during the day, sometimes at night, only that deep-seated despair and sense of loss remained.

"Why did you save me? Why did you insist on keeping me alive? I'm just causing you trouble and making me suffer. Why...?"

When he woke up again, Qi Yi'an Cheng managed to speak in a hoarse voice, choking back sobs.

Li Feiyan remained silent for a long time. "At first, I thought being a doctor was a very noble profession, so no matter how critically ill the patient was, I would do my best to save them."

“So that’s what I originally thought when I was with you.” Li Feiyan paused.

"Later, so many years have passed, my career and family have changed, I've gotten married and divorced, and the country and the world have undergone many changes. But no matter how many times I go around in circles, I'm always by your side."

“Or you could say that you’re always by my side.” Li Feiyan took a deep breath.

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