Nachtlied

Kapitel 4

Mother asked, "You, throwing the embroidered ball?"

Kun's father said, "Wu'er, your ball not only hit your son-in-law, but it also stunned us all."

Qi Long hurriedly said, "Mother, Father, actually this Yi Ge has been with me for two years, and he's a pretty good person."

The mother said, "Qi Long, it's one thing for your sister to be naughty, but instead of stopping her, you're fueling the fire. Is this how you act as a brother? What do you mean by 'good enough'? Just because you're good at using her doesn't mean you can live a good life with Qi Wu. This is a lifelong commitment."

Relying on his mother's doting affection, Ayan stepped forward and said, "I've met this future brother-in-law; he's very skilled in martial arts."

Mother scolded, "Helan Yan, we haven't even settled your score yet, and you dare to interrupt?"

Seeing her face grow increasingly gloomy, I quickly moved closer to my father and pleaded with him, "Father, it was I who chose Yi Ge."

Kun's father pulled me to his side: "Wu'er, it's not that Kun's father doesn't want to help you. Look at your mother, it's already Qi Wu, Qi Long, and He Lan Yan, no matter what I say, it's useless."

I blinked and said, "She won't call you Helan Haokun."

He blinked and said, "But if she calls me Junior Uncle, then that's really bad."

At this moment, the beautiful father interjected, "Wu'er, your father-in-law is unreliable, you still need your beautiful father-in-law to save you. Xiao Mu, I've checked out your prospective son-in-law, and he's really not bad."

Fourth Uncle seized the opportunity to say, "That's right, Xiao Mu, it's fine if you don't believe Wu'er, but Long'er has always been honest. You don't believe his words either? Fine, you don't have to take it out on him!"

The tide turned in these three joint trials.

The mother, both amused and exasperated, stomped her foot and said, "You two are really going to drive me crazy! You just keep spoiling her like this, she's really harming herself and others. Besides, boss, even if you've seen him, it only means he might be good-looking, it doesn't mean anything else. If he's really good-looking, look at her attitude, isn't that even more harmful? Can't he find a woman who truly loves him?"

Kun's father said, "Wu'er, why are you in such a hurry to get married? I want to keep you for another two years." Kun's father never directly opposed marriage, so his question actually implied that he was somewhat disapproving.

I said, "I had thought about getting married before I turned eighteen. Look at the royal women of the Northern Di, they all got married at fourteen or fifteen, and I'm the only one left."

Kun's father said, "It's safer to have children after you're eighteen." He even knew about having children?

I nodded and said, "Don't worry, Uncle Kun, I definitely won't have children that early. We'll still live in our own gardens."

This was a slip of the tongue, and Mother's face, which we had just smoothed out with our banter, tightened up again: "Brother Cong, listen to what she's saying. Isn't she just planning to settle for someone? You actually like him? What do you like about him? He's an orphan with no power, someone you can just mold at will?"

This is serious! I said, feeling a little wronged, "How did I rub him? There's a process of getting to know each other, isn't there? Even if you were to marry me off to someone you don't know well, wouldn't it take some time to get to know them?"

Mother sighed and said, "Wu'er, I'm worried about you. I thought you'd found happiness again after you'd overcome your inner turmoil, but it seems that's not the case. I never thought about matching social status, but it's unfair to yourself and Yi Ge to hold onto such a withered heart. Are you going to marry him and then leave him alone? Are you going to spend your whole life like this? How can I bear it..."

After thinking for a moment, Kun's father said, "A bad start doesn't necessarily mean a bad ending. It all depends on how the two of you get along. But before that, Wu'er, you must resolve your inner conflict. What's past is past. Since you've let it go, don't look back. Now that you've made up your mind, you should truly start anew."

I nodded.

Kun's father added, "Actually, I also went to see Yi Ge. When he saw me, he was neither surprised nor obsequious, but very composed. This demeanor is not that of a servant."

That night, I didn't go back to the palace, but instead shared a bed with my mother. I hadn't slept with her for many years, and I had so much to say to her.

Mother said, “Wu’er, of course I want you to marry a good man who will love and cherish you and treat you well for the rest of his life. If you’re so casual about it, how can you know how he will treat you in the future? Your father said that he will never be subservient to anyone. I would rather he be an ordinary man who will treat you better. On the other hand, I don’t want to break up this marriage. After all, the other party has not wronged us, and it was your brother Xuan who bestowed the marriage upon us. But you should treat him well and respect him. People are made of flesh and blood. Since Long’er said he is reliable, I think his character is not too bad. If you treat him well, he will surely repay you.”

I stared at the curtain and said, “Mother, I also wish I could be as happy as you, with Father and Uncle loving you so much. But, no, I’m willing to give my whole heart, but he doesn’t want it. I still have to live my life. Do you think it’s better for me to stay single for the rest of my life or to find someone to marry? I think it’s better to marry. If I get married, you can rest assured. In the days to come, I will live with him earnestly and try not to hurt him. If that still doesn’t work, if I can’t like him or can’t make him like me, then I will set him free.”

My mother stroked my hair and said, "Wu'er, do you still remember Aunt Shen from Longcheng?"

I certainly remember Shen Yisang's mother. She was a very beautiful person, and time seemed to have left almost no trace on her. She was also an extremely gentle person, treating Uncle Shen and the children exceptionally well. She and Uncle Shen were practically a model of a loving couple.

"Before your second aunt from the Shen family was married, she fell in love with one of my cousins. However, my cousin's family looked down on her family because of their merchant background. Under pressure, my cousin found another woman, and she later married your second uncle from the Shen family. Not long after her marriage, my cousin regretted it and chased after her to Longcheng, hoping she would come back. I happened to run into her at the time, and I heard her say, 'Young Master Fang, please call me Madam Shen. Yingying is what my husband calls her.' Wu'er, the day you meet that young hero Bai again, and you have her resolute attitude, will I believe that you truly want to live your own life."

I nodded silently. Perhaps it will be hard to fall in love with anyone again, but as time goes by, I will eventually be able to be resolute towards those who hurt me.

Author's note: There might be one update tomorrow, but no more updates after that.

Chapter Six: Getting Married

I think my fourth meeting with Yi Ge will be at the wedding. Because premarital couples are forbidden from meeting each other.

My mother and father had to attend Xuan-ge's abdication and Yuan-ge's enthronement ceremonies, so my matter was thus dropped. But later, I heard from A-Yan that my mother and father had formally spoken to Yi-ge. "My future brother-in-law said he was grateful to my sister for giving him a home, and that he would treat her well and would never feel wronged." It seems my honest mother must have expressed her condolences to him, and probably said, "From now on, you'll have to take care of Wu-er."

On the fifteenth of August, the entire West Street, from the Imperial City to the residence of Prince Huaiyi, was filled with joy. I was being married off from the palace, and Yige was setting off from Prince Huaiyi's residence to fetch me.

My princess's residence was also in the western part of the city, not far from the Prince Huaiyi's residence. However, he still had to go to the palace to fetch the bride before returning. On that day, fireworks lit up the entire western city, and drums and music filled the air. The procession that set off first from the palace to deliver the dowry stretched for two or three miles. Since there was more than one procession, my cousin from Yunyang, upon hearing of the marriage, also sent someone to deliver Princess Hongni's dowry.

Donning my wedding gown and applying plum blossom makeup, under the supervision of my two imperial sisters-in-law, I was made up by palace maids, who adorned my head with countless precious hairpins and golden hair ornaments. Even if they transformed me into a walking jewel shop, I had no choice but to accept it. The heavy phoenix crown was placed squarely on my head, and my neck involuntarily slumped. Fortunately, I had practiced martial arts for many years and could withstand it. Even with this slight slump, the thin gold phoenix wings on the crown in the mirror trembled a few times, just like my current state of mind, inevitably tinged with some uncertainty.

When Brother Yuan escorted me to Zhenghe Gate, Yi Ge was already waiting there. Brother Xuan, now the retired emperor, accompanied Qi Long to take me to the princess's residence. The ten-mile-long street was packed with onlookers. Perhaps, since the emperor and crown prince's wedding, there hadn't been such a spectacle.

The weather in the Northern Barbarian lands had already cooled down in August, so I wasn't hot as I strolled through the streets, and the bridal sedan chair moved smoothly without tiring me out. When the princess's mansion was completed, Xuan-ge assigned Eunuch Jing, who had previously followed him, to me, and today's wedding banquet was naturally entrusted to him. My parents and brothers took care of the guests; I only participated briefly, and after the entire ceremony, I didn't even know who the guests were.

They escorted me back to Jihong Pavilion, where I waited quietly for Yi Ge amidst the glittering wedding candles. It wasn't just me; every now and then, some female members of the imperial family I knew would come to visit. After a group left, I closed my eyes to rest briefly, when suddenly I heard greetings and the sound of the curtain being lifted. Opening my eyes, I saw Shen Yimei standing before me with a resentful expression. Seeing her high-bun hairstyle, I was reminded of the dignified bride at her wedding last October. I stood up and took a few steps to greet her, jokingly saying, "Sister Yimei, you've come too? Is your husband treating you badly? Why are you so resentful?"

She sat on the wedding stool in front of my bed, glared at me and said, "Do you hate Nanfeng Fort so much? You don't like seeing Nanya, so you won't even send me a wedding invitation? Yi Sang told me that."

I shook my head and said, "This has nothing to do with me. My brother and his family arranged for the wedding invitations to be sent out. It seems they really didn't ask me. I thought he had all my information, but it turns out there are things he doesn't know."

She scoffed dismissively, "It's precisely because everything is under his control that he refuses to send messages to Nanfeng Fort and Baima Manor. Your brothers are protecting you fiercely." With that, she pulled a brocade pouch from her bosom, saying, "I heard about it at the end of July, so I hastily chose this pair of jade pendants. You and your husband can each have one." I opened them and saw that they were made of top-quality white jade, pure and lustrous. One piece was carved with lotus flowers, leaves, and dragonflies, while the other depicted lotus leaves, roots, and fish. The two semicircles together formed a complete picture. I turned the pendants over and saw that the upper half was engraved with "Inseparable," and the lower half with "Mutual Dependence." I couldn't help but smile bitterly. To achieve these two things was incredibly difficult for both of us.

I said, "The style is quite ingenious, but these two sentences seem sarcastic to me."

She said, "I knew you just picked one randomly. Do you really think that getting married before you're eighteen is more important than finding a hero?"

I said nonchalantly, "I've changed my mind. It doesn't matter who I marry. Marrying a hero doesn't guarantee happiness. Without hope, there is no disappointment."

She said with some heartache, "Then why are you so casual? I heard he's just your brother's bodyguard? Don't you know how much Yi Sang has felt for you all these years?"

I shook my head: "He is the Shadow Guard Commander, which is a sixth-rank official. Yi Sang and I are like Qi Long and I are. You could say we're childhood sweethearts. If I really liked him, I would have liked him long ago. The fact that I still feel this way means I can't like him like I would like a man. Since that's how I feel, I'd better not ruin his life."

This reminded me of our late-night conversation when Mother returned to the capital. We had just finished talking when Mother smiled and said, "Before I came to the capital, I received a letter from your uncle asking about your marriage. He mentioned your cousin Zibu and wanted to propose marriage to our family on his behalf. Did you meet him last year?" Thinking about your intentions, I decided not to harm Zibu anymore. He might genuinely like you, and if you were hurt, resentment might arise from love, which wouldn't be good. So I told him your marriage was arranged.

I ran into Xin Zibu again last year. Since I was eight years old, he has treated me much better. When we met last year, he took good care of me. I shouldn't have hurt him.

Therefore, the same applies to Shen Yisang. If it were a complete stranger I had just met, I wouldn't have considered it.

After a moment of silence, Yi Mei continued, "The martial arts tournament will be held at Hengshan this November. You said last year that you wanted to go and watch the excitement, have you changed your mind?"

It's always good to have something interesting to watch, and I was getting a bit bored anyway. So I nodded and said, "Of course I'll go."

She thought for a moment and said, "Didn't you mention the Rainbow Chasing Blade last year? I vaguely heard that it was related to the Ghost Palace, but the Ghost Palace was destroyed by the righteous sects of the martial arts world twenty years ago. I don't know who spread the news that there are still treasures in the Ghost Palace, and I don't know if the Rainbow Chasing Blade is among them."

I'm not really interested in treasure, but I said I'd find a good sword for Qi Long. If Zhu Hong weren't just a legend, I'd really like to see it for myself. So I replied, "The Ghost Palace is in Lingnan, right? Then I have to go there too. Where should we go first?"

Seeing my expression, she scolded, "You're so impatient. I reckon this year's martial arts tournament will mostly revolve around the Ghost Palace's treasure. A large number of martial artists will be heading south then, so why don't we go to the tournament first and then head south together?"

That makes a lot of sense. I nodded and said, "So when are you going to the martial arts tournament? Is it at Qingyu Manor in Hengshan?"

She said, "I will first return to the Shen family in Longcheng, and then to Nanfeng Manor. I will go with my husband then. But Nan Ya and Bai Yifei will definitely be going too..." She paused for a moment, as if she had something else to say, but we all heard Chunman and the palace servants outside the pavilion greeting her, "Your Highness!" She patted me, sighed, and stood up.

I heard her meet Yi Ge at the pavilion door, exchanging greetings and congratulations. Yi Ge actually knew who she was.

I was sitting on the big bed when I suddenly felt a little nervous.

My mother had, of course, explained everything about my marriage to me beforehand. In fact, I had already figured out the tricks of the trade when I was twelve or thirteen. Although I hadn't realized it when I saw some erotic pictures in Jinchun Garden, I gradually came to understand as I grew older. Besides, my handsome father had already given me several beautifully illustrated books, which were more pleasing to the eye than ordinary erotic pictures. I placed them on the small table by my bed, but I didn't really expect to use them.

The matchmaker and palace servants led him in; his steps were very steady, suggesting he hadn't drunk too much.

With a swift motion, a chessboard lifted my veil, and my eyes lit up. I involuntarily looked up. Tonight, he was dressed in red, which made his complexion appear even brighter. Perhaps it was the bright candlelight, but I immediately noticed his eyes, which were also very bright and full of smiles. This was the first time I had ever seen him smile.

So I smiled politely.

We completed the remaining wedding ceremonies one by one. The palace maids removed my phoenix crown and began to extinguish the wedding candles, leaving only the thickest and longest pair in front of the bed.

I waved my hand, and they quietly left.

I said to Yi Ge, "Prince Consort, please sit down. I have something to say."

He sat down in the spot where Shen Yimei had just been and said, "Princess, please speak."

I took a breath and said, "I want to talk about our future life."

"Okay," he replied, then waited for me to continue.

I said slowly, "I had someone in my heart before. Although we can't be together anymore, I still can't let go. I married you just to put my family at ease. I don't know what the future holds. Maybe I'll forget him and start a new life, or maybe I won't be able to move on. But now that I've married you, I'll still fulfill the responsibilities of a husband and wife. I can give you everything except my heart. If you find someone you truly love in the future, I can set you free, but before that, you must tell me openly and honestly, without deceiving or hiding anything. Or, even if you don't have someone and want to leave, that's fine too."

He looked at me calmly: "So, if the princess falls in love with someone else in the future, perhaps she will leave me, right?"

I gave a wry smile: "I think it won't happen again."

"So, Princess, you mean I won't be in your heart anymore?" His voice was cold and calm, without a trace of emotion. Such a question should perhaps have been met with a rebuke of "insolence," but I didn't think much of it and simply said, "Before you left me, you were always my family in my heart."

He nodded and said, "Yi Ge understands." Then he asked, "Does the princess wish to retire for the night?"

My words didn't make much of a splash, and he quickly moved on to the next step.

I hummed in agreement and slowly began to take off my wedding dress, while he stood up and began to take off his.

That night, we did nothing. After saying those words, consummating our marriage was truly difficult for me. We both took off our undergarments and remained silent. I thought I should take the initiative, so I reached out to unbutton his undergarment, but my hand touched his chest and then withdrew. Sigh, I still couldn't get over this mental hurdle.

He said in a low voice, "How about I sleep in the outer chamber?"

The outer chamber is where Chunman and the others are on night duty. Although they might not be there tonight, if they see him tomorrow morning, there will be gossip. It won't concern me, but it will be somewhat demeaning to him. Most of the servants in the Princess's residence are palace maids that Xuan-ge assigned to me. These people are used to being opportunistic and sycophantic in the palace. If word gets out, I'm afraid he'll be looked down upon in the residence. I promised Mother I would treat him with respect.

I shook my head: "Let's just stay here. The bed is big anyway, one person on each side."

Sure enough, each person stood on one side, and the middle was wide enough to sail a boat.

I didn't sleep well that night. I woke up early in the morning, but didn't move. I could hear his long, even breathing, in my ears. It felt so strange. I had slept with a strange man, even though he had been my husband since last night.

I sat up quietly, but he woke up too and sat up immediately.

I softly said "Good morning," and seeing him get out of bed, I also put on my robe, my gaze sweeping over the white silk on the table. I picked it up, hesitated for a moment, and then put my index finger to my lips. A large hand reached out and gently pressed my hand down. Yi Ge said, "I'll do it!"

This trick couldn't fool Mother and Father, but it was effective on the servants in the mansion.

Today I need to go to the palace and also return to the Prince Huaiyi's residence to see my mother, father, and the rest of the family.

During breakfast, I suddenly remembered something. Our wedding ceremony wasn't completely finished yet; the newlyweds were supposed to exchange tokens. According to the Northern Di tradition, the bride was supposed to give the groom a belt or pouch she had embroidered herself, while the groom was supposed to reciprocate with gold and jade. My embroidery skills are even worse than my mother's, so it was obviously not presentable. Therefore, I didn't embroider the belt myself; I only made the first stitch, and those few stitches almost became the flaw of the belt. As for the gold and jade, it probably wasn't easy for Yi Ge either. I guessed that Qi Long and the others had prepared it for him well in advance.

I took out my belt and handed it to him. He smiled slightly, took off his old one, and put on the new one. Then he took something out of his collar, took it off, and handed it to me, saying, "My family doesn't have any ancestral heirlooms. This was left to me by my mother." I took it in my hand. It was a translucent blue gemstone, oval-shaped, about half the length of my index finger, with intricate patterns carved on it, resembling both humans and animals. I couldn't see it clearly at first.

He then took out a small box and said, "This is incense I made according to my mother's method. I think women would like it."

When I opened it, I found a round, jade-green dumpling with an extremely elegant fragrance, a blend of orchid and sandalwood scents, but not overpowering. I liked the smell and accepted it.

I went back into my room, took out a small, hollowed-out wooden ball from a box on my dressing table, unscrewed the lid, put the scented ball inside, and then hung the ball on my skirt sash. I should have put the sapphire back in the box, but seeing how clear and lovely it was, I inexplicably hung it around my neck; it seemed to still hold his lingering warmth and the faint scent of pine he carried.

As I walked out, I hesitated for a moment, but still took the two jade pendants Shen Yimei had given me. Before going to the palace, I handed him the lower half of the jade pendant: "These are congratulatory gifts from Sister Yimei. I'll take one, and you take one." He took the jade pendant, but his gaze swept over my waist, and a glint seemed to flash in his eyes, though his face remained expressionless. I thought perhaps I was just imagining things.

Chapter Seven Separation

According to custom, the princess and her consort must stay together for at least three days, so Yi Ge and I will have to share a bed for two more days.

I saw him sleeping on the edge of the bed, looking like he would fall off at the slightest movement, so I said, "Why don't you move in a little closer? You look like you're about to fall off." He grinned and said, "No, even if I were sleeping on a rope, I wouldn't fall off." I was immediately struck by his teeth; they were so white.

Even so, he did manage to get some room inside. Of course, we could still move freely between each other.

On the fourth day, he returned to his Wentao Pavilion, while I remained in my Jihong Pavilion.

However, we still eat together every day. The mansion is so big; it would be very lonely for me to eat alone, and now I can't often go back to the Huaiyi Prince's Mansion or the palace. On this point, I somewhat agree with what my father said about "getting married too early not being good." Even if I lived in the palace, I would still go to the Yanxi Palace or the East Palace for meals. So much so that at mealtimes, both palaces would send people to ask, "Would the princess like to come for a meal?" and I would choose one. Qi Long once said, "In matters of dining, you are like the Empress Dowager of the Northern Barbarians."