"He often thinks he's too clever for his own good."
"He has nothing to brag about."
"He will never surpass me in his lifetime."
How strange, aren't those people their friends? They seem to get along so well when they meet, but behind each other's backs, they look down on each other.
When a friend is down on his luck, his friends might say, "He's ambitious but incompetent; I knew he wouldn't amount to anything."
When a friend succeeds, his friends will say, "Actually, he wasn't that capable at all."
Even if his friend is the best dancer, he will say, "He's not the best." If his friend is the best musician, he will say, "There are many people better than him." If his friend becomes successful, he will say, "He just got lucky."
It's hard for us to admit that someone who grew up alongside us is better than us.
Good friends can share joy and sorrow; however, for some, friends are precisely the people they despise most. A friend is worse than an enemy.
B ran into an old friend on the street, and he said:
“I deliberately turned around and left so he wouldn’t see me. Why should we meet up and put on a fake show? I will never forgive him for betraying me before, and he should know that too.”
Several days later, B encountered his enemy on the street, a man who had previously done many things to attack him. Upon seeing him, B not only didn't avoid him but went up to greet him, and the two exchanged a few polite words. B said, "Let it go. He treated me like that before for his own benefit; people are always selfish."
It is often easier to forgive an enemy than a friend.
We never feel affection for our enemies, but we may have given our friends the most sincere feelings. Having given, we expect something in return.
Forgiving an enemy is a sign of magnanimity and composure; if we can forgive an enemy, it means we feel superior to him, have the right to pardon him, even pity him, forgive him, and simply not hold it against him.
But we are very stingy with our friends. Forgiving him is to indulge him, and to admit we are fools. He knows too much about me. My expectations of him are different, and he should treat me differently from others. So it's hard to forgive a friend for treating us badly.
Next time, when you can't forgive a friend, don't blame yourself; it's human nature. It's not all that bad.
When things are about to change, you'll find that they're not so bad after all.
You couldn't stand your hairstyle anymore; it looked terrible and messy. After putting it off for over a month, you finally found time to get a haircut. Looking in the mirror before heading out that day, you realized your hairstyle actually looked quite good, and you could postpone the trimming.
You've always complained that this house is too small, and tomorrow you're moving to a bigger one. That night, you'll realize there are many things about this house that you'll cherish; it's actually quite nice here. Why are you only realizing this now?
This dress has been sitting there for years. Every year when the seasons change, you take it out, but you never wear it. When you finally decide to give it away, you realize how beautiful it actually is. Maybe one day you'll wear it again.
Your dog is a constant source of trouble. It's disobedient, poops and peees everywhere, and its fur is always matted. It has a history of skin disease and even tried to get pregnant by other dogs. You simply don't have time to care for it, and you finally found a friend willing to adopt it. The night before you were to give it away, you suddenly realized it was actually quite adorable. That night, it was exceptionally well-behaved, didn't poop or pee anywhere, and even its fur remained perfectly matted.
You want to leave this person; you no longer love him. When you decide to break up with him, for a moment, you might think he wasn't actually that bad, that he treated you well…
Why do we often become reluctant to let go only when things are about to change? After all, we are separated by vast distances.
Many people say, "Though far apart, we are as close as neighbors." But is it really true? With advanced communication technology and increasingly cheaper long-distance calls and airfares, does it mean that you, so far away, are as if I were right beside you, never having left?
Distance is still distance. You went to a very far place. Although we can chat on ICQ and write emails every day, and you can come back to me three, four, or even five times a year, we are still worlds apart.
Where were you when I needed a hug?
Can I kiss you when you need a kiss?
When I need your comfort, will you come?
What can I do for you when you feel helpless?
When a couple decides to live apart, it's a gamble. At first, I will miss you, but all longing needs to be soothed at the right time. Endless longing is torture.
You said, "Wait for me for four years!"
Okay, I'll wait for you for four years. But you'd better not ask me if I'll fall in love with someone else during those four years. All waiting comes at a price. If you want me to wait, you can't take away my freedom. If I asked you to wait for me, I would do the same.
I know you'll come back to me, and that's enough. You can love anyone until the day we agree to meet again. But if you still feel I'm the best for you, then come back to me!
I have never believed in the saying "though we are far apart, we are still close at heart." I have only ever seen men and women who are neighbors but feel like they are worlds apart.
The two most important words in life
If you had to choose the two most important words in your life, what would you choose?
Some people choose "beauty", some choose "wealth", some choose "health", and some choose "life" and "freedom". A happy woman would say "husband".
Aren't the two most important words in life, the ones that have the greatest impact on us, "time"?
Beauty, wealth, life, freedom, and health are all useless if God only gives you too little time for them. Even the best husband is a tragedy if God only grants him three months into your life.
We are all subject to time. When you are young, you always wish the days would pass faster. When you get older, you are surprised at how quickly time passes, and you can't hold onto it even if you want to.
You could have done something better, but you had enough time. People always regret, "If only I had more time—" However, too much time is also a regret. If you were only married for fifteen years, you would be a perfect couple, but after twenty years, starting from the sixteenth year of your marriage, he began to have affairs.
If you had only been lovers for five years, you would have missed each other forever. Unfortunately, you were lovers for six years, and the last year was terrible.
Time heals pain, but it also deepens it; sometimes it's too long, sometimes too short. Time makes people forget love.
A girl wrote to me saying that after reading "The Snail Omelet in the Snow," she didn't understand these two sentences in the book:
"Love makes people forget time, and time makes people forget love."
When you fall in love with someone, you forget about time. You can spend 24 hours a day with them. You don't mind spending 14 hours flying from Hong Kong to the US to see them, and then rushing back. You'll postpone important meetings and put aside important work to see them. After your date, you can talk on the phone until dawn.
Love makes you forget the passage of time. You forget your age. A sixty-year-old will think they're only eighteen. You'll make lifelong promises, forgetting that time changes everything.
However, as time passes, people can forget that love once existed. The longer two people are together, the more their love fades. He forgets how much he loved you all these years, he forgets how happy you were together, and he forgets everything you went through together. He forgets, and so he falls in love with someone else.
As time passes, we forget that we once loved someone unconditionally, forget his tenderness, forget everything he did for us. I no longer feel anything for him; I no longer love him. Why is this? It turns out our love was defeated by time.