Kapitel 69

The old woman looked at the child, then at Pei Yuan, and reluctantly handed him over, saying, "Oh, why didn't you raise him in the manor? You could have hired a wet nurse. Although we have a doctor to look after him here, he drinks goat's milk. I always felt that the reason why the baby's jaundice wouldn't go away was because he wasn't drinking human milk. Young master, please hold him, the baby is so good."

Pei Yuan clenched his fists, carefully took the child, stared at the child's slightly furrowed brows for a long time, then loosened his outer robe and pulled it into his arms. Without saying a word, he stepped out the door.

The old woman looked at Xiao Shun in surprise, "You're taking him away already? The little clothes I made aren't finished yet."

Xiao Shun followed them out sheepishly, and whispered, "Your Highness, the young master is not in good health and cannot withstand the bumpy ride."

Pei Yuan took a deep breath and said calmly, "Go find Qi Xiu and bring him back."

Xiao Shun glanced at Pei Yuan, who was staring intently at the child in his arms, shook his head, and told the woman with the long braid to go to a neighboring village to find him and bring him back.

Qi Xiu returned quickly and wasn't surprised to see Pei Yuan. Seeing him holding the child, he told the woman to go inside and pack his own clothes and the baby's diapers, then threw them into the carriage and got in first. Pei Yuan silently got in, glanced at the guard driving the carriage, and said to Xiao Shun, "I borrowed it. As for what you were doing out here, I don't want to investigate."

Xiao Shun was a little flustered, "Where is Your Highness going?"

"I'm not going back to Beijing. Tell Sun Qi that I'll collect what he owes him slowly later."

Xiao Shun wiped away his cold sweat, watched the carriage drive away, and then slapped his thigh, saying, "My carriage! Sigh, there's another one waiting."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Xiao Shunzi found He Zhuo driving the donkey cart, it was already noon the next day. As soon as He Zhuo saw him, he grabbed him and lifted him up, saying fiercely, "What happened to Susu? What did they say about the young mistress of the Pei family dying in the palace? Where is the child?"

Xiao Shunzi grabbed his collar and said urgently, "Young Master He, please let go. This servant came here to talk about this."

He Zhuo, suppressing her anger, threw him off and crossed her arms, saying, "Don't let me find out who bullied her!"

"Oh, actually it's like this. His Majesty asked me to tell you that Miss Qiu has gone to the Southern Frontier. The journey may be a bit slow, but he asked you to wait there and ensure her safety if you see her."

"That's it?" He Zhuo's jaw twitched. He had rushed back from the southern border, risking his life, just for this one sentence.

Xiao Shunzi took a step back. "It's just these few words. No, no, there's more, hehe, there's more. Miss Qiu's maid is still in the Pei residence. Before Miss Qiu left, she said she wanted you to take her away. And, that white dog, hehe."

He Zhuo took a deep breath and raised an eyebrow. "It seems the urgent summons won't let me enter the capital."

"Uh, right!" Xiao Shunzi's eyes darted around. "This servant didn't bring them today. Tomorrow, this servant will bring Huang Tao and Miss Qiu's mounts."

He Zhuo narrowed his eyes, mounted his horse, and looked down at Xiao Shunzi, saying, "If I don't see Susu in the Southern Frontier, you, and your two masters, will come back to find her. Tomorrow, it'll be the same place. Don't keep me waiting this long again." With that, he spurred his horse and galloped away.

Xiao Shunzi breathed a sigh of relief, blinked a few times, and tugged at the reluctant donkey as they trotted toward the city gate.

He's destined to be a gofer. Sigh, may the old and the young be safe and sound, otherwise his life will probably be worn down between the two princes.

Young Master Pei has left the capital again. Last time he brought back a wife, but he lost his life just before the New Year. People in the capital are starting to gossip again, wondering if he'll bring back another wife this time. If he does, then next year's New Year will probably be quite a spectacle.

This discussion, like many others, lasted less than half a month before disappearing from people's dinner tables. The capital city was not small, the Pei family mansion was not small, but Pei Yuan himself was too insignificant. People in the capital would use him as a topic of conversation after meals, but no one truly cared about him—except, of course, those with ulterior motives.

Author's Note:

45

45. Side Story: The Bamboo Kite...

Strangely enough, it snowed in March. This sudden cold snap not only ruined the crops but also made me even more miserable. I started coughing and wheezing all day long. I couldn't lie flat at night and had to tuck the blanket behind my back and sit up to breathe.

My illness had worsened during the Lunar New Year, but after receiving confirmation from Brother Yuan, I had a glimmer of hope. I finally made it through the fifteenth day of the first lunar month. My wife said that although Qiu Su had lost her child, the wedding would still be held on the seventeenth day of the first lunar month, and that I should relax. But I never expected such a terrible thing to happen on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month.

Actually, regardless of whether Qiu-guniang died in that fire, how could I possibly marry Brother Yuan after losing my child? He adored that child; I could tell. During the days he and Qiu-guniang were arguing, he often came to my courtyard, but I knew he was probably doing it on purpose for her. Brother Yuan, such a mature and perfect person, could act so childishly when it came to matters of the heart.

The lady said that Brother Yuan would be back soon. In two days, on the fifteenth of the first lunar month, when Brother Yuan returned, perhaps my dream would come true. Brother Yuan returned, looking haggard, and locked himself in his room ever since. The lady said that Miss Qiu died in the fire at Changqing Palace.

Standing in their courtyard, I thought, "Autumn is gone, and my fate with Brother Yuan has also come to an end."

Brother Yuan really did disappear from Beijing.

I had held on for too long. Before he left, he went to my yard one last time. The moment I heard he was leaving, I felt a sense of relief. But that relief was never regained.

My chest felt increasingly tight, so tight I wanted to tear it open, but my hands wouldn't lift. Xiaoqing, who had cared for me for days, was exhausted and asleep on a small couch nearby. I gasped for breath, my vision blurring. Looking at the ever-changing doorway, I wondered, if I had never considered marrying Brother Yuan after Qiu entered the household, would she have been so angry with him and gone to the palace without a word? Would the child have been born safely in the Pei residence? Would Brother Yuan have avoided that two months of despair and become so thin?

I knew Qiu was a timid person; I could tell from our first meeting. She appeared carefree, but was actually very cautious. I called her "sister" out of selfishness, and she awkwardly called me "sister." I don't know if she genuinely didn't understand or simply didn't care. If it were any other woman, she probably would have refused the address and asked me to call her by her name or "madam."

When she looked at me, there was a hint of amazement in her eyes, a pure and simple amazement, without a trace of disdain or contempt. She was a good girl, and I began to understand why Brother Yuan had fallen for her. She was like a domesticated rabbit, timid enough to retreat into the house at the slightest sign of danger, yet once outside, she would puff up her ears, looking smug and fearless. She possessed an innocence and cautiousness that young ladies from wealthy families lacked, but of course, she also had a fatal weakness—a lack of security.

Brother Yuan is the kind of person who likes to arrange other people's fates. If Miss Qiu had trusted him wholeheartedly, things would not have turned out this way. I know it wouldn't have.

Sigh, the happiness I crave is the one someone else wants to escape. If Brother Yuan were willing to devote even a little attention to me, I would definitely stay by his side and be a good wife who doesn't have to worry about anything.

Brother Yuan said, "Zhu Yuan, the baby is actually rolling around in my belly!" After saying that, he smiled apologetically at me and said, "Zhu Yuan, if you like children, Su Su can recognize you as her aunt after she gives birth to Mo Mo."

I asked him why his name was Momo, and he said it was Moli, meaning "never to part, never to abandon." Then he sighed, wishing she could trust me even a little more.

This was the only time he casually spoke to me during the few days he stayed in my courtyard, and the person he spoke to was Miss Qiu. I lowered my eyes and smiled, thinking to myself, if it were Miss Qiu, and Brother Yuan spoke so affectionately about me in front of her, she would definitely stand up and leave. She has her carefree side, and I have things I'm reluctant to part with.

A sharp pain began in my chest. I wondered to myself, if there were an afterlife, would the gods let me meet Brother Yuan first? Then I thought, even if I met him first, it wouldn't matter. In this life, I met him five years before Miss Qiu, yet he never stopped for me even for a moment.

I recall a story I once read about a young woman who waited for her ideal man. Finally, at a temple fair, she caught a glimpse of him and knew he was the one she was waiting for. However, the crowd was too dense, and she couldn't get close, watching helplessly as he disappeared into the throng. Afterwards, the young woman searched everywhere but to no avail. In her despair, she prayed to Buddha day and night, hoping to see the man again.

The woman's sincerity moved the Buddha's heart, and after five hundred years, he only managed to pass by her. Unwilling to give up, she spent another five hundred years transforming into a tree, so that he could rest in her shade for a while.

When I first read it, I thought this woman was truly devoted; another five hundred years and she would surely be with that man. But now I wonder, why would she spend a thousand years just to see him twice? Five years have already left me exhausted, both physically and mentally. If she had known the outcome, why didn't she follow his wishes and become his sister? Then, I would have been an indispensable presence.

If I die, no, I'm about to die. If I die, will Brother Yuan be sad? Will he lock himself in his room for a month and not go out because of my death? Will his cheeks become sunken and haggard because of my death? No, and probably not. It's enough for him to feel heartache, sorrow, and grief for one person.

How big must a woman's heart be to share a husband with another woman without any reservations? I finally understand Qiu's resolute decision, but unfortunately, I realized it too late.

I looked at Xiaoqing; with her sharp tongue, I wondered how much more hardship she would have to endure in the future. My vision blurred, and surprisingly, the tightness in my chest lessened. Was she leaving?

Relief, how wonderful!

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