The madam snorted coldly, "I have my own way of doing things."
After giving her instructions, the madam left, and everyone went about their business. The maidservant hurriedly called for the servants to help Bai Yan onto the bed.
Her head drooped as if she were dying, Bai Yan breathing heavily, her damp hair obscuring her face, only sobs audible: "...Why..."
Chapter Forty-Nine
It was late at night.
After seeing off the boisterous guests and tidying everything up, the vermilion gate guarding this place of joy closed heavily, swallowing all the joys and sorrows and struggling to digest them.
The women laughed all day, and by evening, they finally quieted down. Their tired, hoarse voices, like mice, rustled and whispered in every corner, gradually fading into silence.
Bai Yan lay quietly on the bed, staring blankly at the green gauze curtain above her head. She had just taken the medicine and sweated, and the brocade quilt was damp and hot, making her feel stuffy.
After a long while, she sighed softly, then quietly sat up and groped for an outer garment to put on. The maid sleeping on the outer bed called out groggily, but Bai Yan gently pressed her down, saying, "No need to get up."
After muttering a few words, the maidservant fell into a deep sleep again.
Pushing open the door, a deep and oppressive darkness instantly engulfed the room. The thin candle flame on the candlestick trembled and flickered, yet it stubbornly illuminated the small, confined space.
Holding the candlestick, Bai Yan adjusted her outer robe and walked towards the backyard.
Along the Wenjiang coast, summer brings abundant rainfall, and at night, the rain gradually begins to fall again. Broad banana leaves lie across the yard, their normally upright leaves drooping listlessly, washed by the heavy rain into a deep, rich color.
Bai Yan placed the candlestick on the railing and sat down, hugging her knees. The vermilion railing was cool, and she rested her head against it, drawing a moment of tranquility.
The raging anger had gradually died down, leaving only dust that was easily dispersed by the wind. But the charred marks left by the flames could not be washed away.
Lighting a cigarette, Bai Yan tried to sort out the complicated facts before her.
Mu...Mu Xing is a woman.
She was surprised to find that this fact alone did not seem to be enough to cause her too much pain or distress.
But she lied to her.
Thinking of this, the embers that had long been extinguished began to burn faintly again.
She had been deliberately lying to her from the very beginning, and even after she had clearly fallen in love, she had no intention of being honest!
So she kept rejecting her feelings and pretended not to understand her intentions until she was forced to agree to light the big candles, at which point she reluctantly decided to confess. But as soon as she turned around, she started preparing for the big candles as if nothing had happened!
Why? Why?
She's clearly a woman, and she's already engaged, so why are you bothering her?
With trembling hands covering her face, Bai Yan buried her face in her cold palms, breathing with difficulty.
The only explanation she could think of was that Mu Xing was deliberately playing a trick on her.
The eldest daughter of the Mu family, with a family background of immense wealth and privilege, is a favored daughter of heaven. What kind of novel things hasn't she seen?
For a pampered young lady raised in an ivory tower, isn't a prostitute in a brothel a novel, unfamiliar, and new toy?
So she would watch as her daughter was drawn to her wealth, gradually falling into her trap of tenderness, and then, in the moment when she thought she was happy, she would personally shatter her.
How funny, how ridiculous!
As the guess gradually took shape, the gentle, smiling figure in his memory suddenly twisted, revealing a cruel malice.
Her heart clenched suddenly, and Bai Yan laughed silently, despair enveloping her like the smoke in her hand.
The castle built in my heart is crumbling, and everything that I thought was impregnable has become unrecognizable.
Just as everything was about to collapse, a voice suddenly rang in her mind.
"...I rarely have the opportunity to make a choice. Now that I have this opportunity, I choose not to listen."
This is what she said to Mu Xing when Mu Xing saw her off to the car one day.
What exactly did Mu Xing want to say to her at that time?
Bai Yan suddenly hesitated.
What exactly did she reject when she was so engrossed in what she thought was a deep and sweet romance?
What if, what if Mu Xing had wanted to confess back then?
Everything that seemed shattered suddenly became blurry again.
If Mu Xing was deliberately toying with her, were all those tenderness, thoughtfulness, and little details also fake?
The emotions that clearly shone in those eyes were so real!
What kind of scheming and boredom does it take to turn pretense into genuine affection?
She was clearly such a sincere person…
Everything that seemed clear suddenly became blurry again. Bai Yan suddenly dared not think any further. She hastily grabbed the candlestick and fled as if avoiding a flood or a ferocious beast. Only the banana trees in the courtyard remained, their fragrance lingering.
…
Having failed to meet Miss Bai the previous day, Mu Xing went to Yu Hua's study early the next morning, eager to tell her everything. However, he was once again turned away at the door.
"Young master, this is the rule of our line of work, and it's also for the sake of your relationship with the girl," the madam said sincerely.
“Look at those respectable families getting married. They’re worried about ‘double happiness clashing’ and ruining the auspicious time and place originally set for the wedding day, so they can’t meet. Even though our young lady comes from such a background, does the young master not cherish her at all? Does he only want to satisfy his momentary impulse and not consider her feelings at all?”
The madam said this because she was certain that Mu Xing wouldn't turn against her, which is why she dared to make such a casual lie.
Worried that the longer it dragged on, the harder it would be to explain, Mu Xing asked again, "Can't you really make an exception? I have something to discuss with Miss Bai; it won't take long."
Worried that Bai Yan would refuse to light the large candles, the madam naturally couldn't back down, but she also couldn't be too forceful and anger Mu Xing.
She pretended to frown and hesitate for a moment before saying to the maid waiting in the hall, "Go upstairs and ask the young lady what she has to say."
The maid, having already received instructions from the madam, pretended to go upstairs to Bai Yan's room. After a while, she came down with a handkerchief.
"The young lady said that although she also missed the young master, she dared not violate the rules of the brothel. So she gave the young master a handkerchief to ease her longing."
Mu Xing hurriedly took the handkerchief, and a scent of orange blossoms wafted over him. Looking at the elegant pattern, it was indeed Miss Bai's handkerchief.
Since Miss Bai had said so, she couldn't insist on meeting her any longer. She could only say, "In that case, we can only abide by the rules."
After inquiring about the furniture arrangements for the "rooms" and receiving numerous instructions from the madam, Mu Xing reluctantly left.
She got into a rickshaw after leaving home, but instead of going to the clinic, she headed straight for the pharmacy.
She only learned yesterday that the so-called " furnishing the room" actually meant that the patrons would furnish the young master's room, replacing all the furniture, decorations, and even the bedding. This was partly to elevate the young master's status and show favoritism, and partly, of course, it was also a way for the brothel to deliberately rip him off.
Although she knew that most of the money would eventually go to the madam, Mu Xing had nothing to say for Miss Bai's sake. However, she was worried that the madam might deliberately skimp on the quality of the jewelry and ornaments, which were meant to be worn by Miss Bai herself. Now that they couldn't meet, she had to choose them herself.
Purchasing things was a minor matter; another important issue was that her savings were running low.
Although she receives a monthly salary and a family allowance, she has always been extravagant with her spending and never saves or invests. She has already spent a considerable amount on Miss Bai recently, and this time lighting the large candles cost several thousand more. And regardless of how things turn out between her and Miss Bai, she is determined to redeem Miss Bai from her servitude, which will undoubtedly be another expense.
Although the Mu family didn't lack these few thousand yuan, firstly, she was unwilling to use the family's money; secondly, she had no legitimate reason to explain where the money went.
Therefore, any future expenses would have to come from the pharmacy's profits. She had been working through the night these past few days to clean up the pharmacy's books and discovered some errors. If she wanted sufficient funds in the future, she would have to put in considerable effort to rectify the situation.
Rubbing his sore eyes, Mu Xing sighed.
Since making that decision that day, she had given up her playful thoughts and focused on her work. It was only in these past few days that she truly understood Song Youcheng's suffering. But Song Youcheng and that Japanese lady were kindred spirits, so even their bitterness was sweet. She and Miss Bai, however, remained deeply estranged.
Hopefully, Miss Bai will eventually understand and forgive her for her good intentions.
…
"Strange, I had an injection the day before yesterday, I should have recovered, so why has my condition worsened?"
After asking a few questions about the medication, the doctor put away his stethoscope, wrote a prescription, and instructed the maid how to fetch the medicine.
The mother sitting to the side didn't look well, while Bai Yan lay on the bed without saying a word, pretending not to see her.
She hasn't been sleeping well these past few days, and she caught a chill in the middle of the night, so naturally she's not feeling better.
As the various pieces of furniture were delivered into the hall one by one, the once dilapidated room was transformed. She couldn't explain what she wanted, nor could she understand what Mu Xing meant.
On one hand, she wanted to see Mu Xing and clear things up; on the other hand, she secretly hoped that she could stay sick like this forever, as if everything was still as cheerful as it seemed on the surface. Mu Xing was still that gentle and affectionate young master, and she still longed for the wedding dress that belonged to her, that fake but enough wedding, so that she would never have to face the undercurrents beneath the surface of peace.
After seeing the doctor out, the mother came back and pretended to comfort him, saying, "Just focus on getting better. Don't worry about anything else, and don't see any irrelevant people. Just rest well. The 17th is almost here. If you can get better, Young Master Mu will be happy."
Not in the mood to continue with the perfunctory response, Bai Yan simply nodded silently.
"By the way, I heard from Young Master Mu that your wedding dress was ordered beforehand. I just sent someone to pick it up, and it should be delivered soon. If you are strong enough, have them help you try it on; it will be easy to alter it if needed."
After her mother closed the door and left, Bai Yan slowly lay back down on the bed, closed her eyes to try and rest, but couldn't fall asleep.
Memories surged endlessly, roaring like a giant beast, crashing violently into my mind.
One moment she saw Mu Xing shout "I will marry you" to her, and countless dazzling fireworks exploded behind her, disappearing in an instant; the next moment she saw cherry blossoms fluttering down, landing on Mu Xing's shoulders, her embrace warm and firm...
She saw the very beginning, in the corridor of the Hua Rong Foreign Firm, where sunlight streamed through stained glass, and fragmented colors fell and reflected on Mu Xing.
She looked up, and those piercing eyes froze her in place, rendering her unable to move.
That look in his eyes was clean and pure.
So pure was it as if the person she was gazing upon was not a vibrant, living person, but merely an object to be admired.
That look in her eyes said that she was just passing by, admiring the view for a moment, and then leaving without a trace of emotion.
As the light shifted, everything vanished. In the blink of an eye, Bai Yan suddenly found herself back in the rain.
She lost her shoes and could only run barefoot, desperately trying to keep going. She used every ounce of strength, afraid to stop, unable to stop.
Don't go.
Don't go, don't go!
Don't leave me alone, don't abandon me!
"Yan'er, Yan'er? Wake up!"
I opened my eyes groggily; the mist lingered briefly before quickly dissipating.
Once she regained consciousness, Bai Yan looked at Fei Hua sitting by the bed: "Fei... cough cough! cough!"
Fei Hua quickly helped her up and brought her some tea to soothe her throat.
Seeing that she had recovered, Fei Hua said with a serious expression, "Yan'er, there is something I want to tell you."
"You're pregnant?" After drinking some water to relieve the dryness in her throat, Bai Yan forced a smile.