***
At the end of August, Song Jing arrived at her new school.
It's only a 300-meter walk from Lianhe High School to No. 2 Middle School, taking just a few minutes.
Five people came to study at Lianhe High School together, and they all had a good relationship with Song Jing. However, in Song Jing's heart, besides her parents, Ouyang Xiao, and Li Yueling, there was another person she would give her life for. Li Yueling also didn't get into a top high school and studied at No. 11 Middle School, which was about an hour and twenty minutes away from Song Jing by bus. Song Jing and Li Yueling didn't have much time to see each other, so they exchanged letters every two days, a full six pages, just the right weight.
Many years later, Li Yueling asked Song Jing, "Do you regret having been so open and honest with me?"
Song Jing simply shook her head gently and said to Li Yueling, "You are my friend for life. I will never betray you or abandon you. I will treat you well, pamper you, and love you." Her tone was very gentle, like a summer breeze.
Song Jing will never forget Li Yueling's kindness to her, nor will she forget that year when Huang Li said to her, "Jing, I went to No. 11 Middle School. I didn't see Li Yueling, but I heard some things. Do you want to know?" At that time, Huang Li spoke softly, with a strange look of pity on her face.
Song Jing agreed.
Xiaoyue:
The weather has gotten worse lately. I was standing alone on the rooftop, the wind was strong, and I was wearing a beautiful white dress. The hem of the dress fluttered and rustled. I thought I could hear the dress singing, but there was nothing. Recently, I met a new friend named Luo Chun. She has beautiful almond-shaped eyes and a dimple when she smiles.
The night before last, I had another dream. I dreamt of the latter half of 1997 and the first half of 1998. That year, the rain seemed endless. Many times, I've been lost. What am I waiting for? What kind of outcome am I waiting for? No one can answer. They just tell me, "Ah Jing, Ah Jing, don't wait anymore. Some people, let the past be the past." I can't even utter a word of rebuttal, but... but... Xiao Yue, you know, right?
I'll be very worried if they grow taller.
I would be very sad if I didn't become more beautiful.
If someone confesses their feelings to me, all I will say is: I'm sorry.
Xiaoyue, if it were you, what would you say to me?
On the evening of September 17, 2001, Ah Jing...
P.S.: I just finished military training and I feel very tired. I heard there will be a sports meet next week, and I want to participate in the 3,000-meter race.
A-Jing:
Military training is tiring, high school is boring, classes are annoying, and... we can't leave the school grounds! But thankfully, there's TV to watch. It's just that showering is so inconvenient; you have to walk a long way to get hot water.
Nothing new has happened lately, oh dear, even writing a letter is so difficult! Ah Jing, why do you write letters like prose?! But Ah Jing, if waiting is too hard, then don't wait anymore. However, if you insist on waiting, then I, Xiao Yue, can only silently support you from behind!
Oh, by the way, would you like me to introduce you to a friend? She's heard about you and really likes you!
Xiaoyue during self-study class on September 23, 2001.
P.S.: The weather is starting to get colder, so please keep warm.
Many years later, Song Jing couldn't remember what happened back then, or who was involved. She only remembered that year, the Leonid meteor shower, and she started waiting from one o'clock, then two, then three. Her dormitory faced north, not the best observation point. Sparse meteors streaked across the sky, and she was dressed very lightly, crouching on the balcony so the teacher wouldn't see her.
One, two, three, four...
It streaked past in a dazzling display.
Whose tears are falling?
Song Jing thought of that song, closed her eyes, and silently recited: "May my parents be healthy, may Ouyang Xiao be healthy, and may I have excellent grades. May my parents be healthy, may Ouyang Xiao be healthy, and may I have excellent grades..."
She couldn't see the beauty of the shooting star; she only remembered to be devout, sincere, and to keep talking.
The next day, she caught a cold, but she was still very happy.
Because she openly and honestly expressed her desires to the shooting star.
I will stay by Ouyang Xiao's side no matter what, and catch up with him to take over the spot next to his name.
But Huang Li brought some infuriating news.
That afternoon, the golden sunset painted the sky with vibrant, fiery clouds above the gray buildings. Song Jing was hunched over her desk, doing math problems, while simultaneously blowing her nose with a tissue from her drawer. Huang Li came over from the next classroom. She was Song Jing's classmate in junior high, an excellent student who had ended up here after failing her exams. Sharing a similar plight, the two had a fairly good relationship.
"Ah Jing, I have something to tell you." Huang Li sat down and said this as soon as she started.
Song Jing looked up from XYZ, bewildered: "What?"
"You know I came from No. 11 Middle School yesterday?"
"Hmm. How is Li Yueling? Is she alright?!"
"Ah Jing, I went to No. 11 Middle School, but I didn't see Li Yueling. However, I heard some things. Do you want to know?"
"Huh?"
“You’ve become famous at No. 11 Middle School.” As Huang Li said this, a deep pity flickered in her eyes.
"ah?"
"Your letter was taken to class and circulated among the whole class by Li Yueling."
In a fit of anger, Song Jing once wrote down her final words and then cruelly threw them into the mailbox. That night, she cried bitterly all night, suddenly remembering that year, when they parted ways while still young, Li Yueling held her hand and said, "Don't worry, we can still write letters. Besides writing, you can come to my house to play. We have a telephone, you can call me... What if I go somewhere else and can't let you know? Don't you know to ask my parents? My address, my phone number, so don't worry, we will really be together forever. As long as we have the will, nothing is impossible!"
She said to herself, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Yueling."
They didn't continue corresponding. Later, during the Chinese New Year, Song Jing made a special trip to Li Yueling's house. They reconciled and transferred to different schools, but they still never wrote to each other again. It was as if, as long as they didn't do that thing again, the harm they had caused each other would be erased.
She and her friend sat quietly together, chatting and laughing. Their conversations covered a wide range of topics—the world, the future, and other people—but they never mentioned each other again.
Long, long afterward, long before Song Jing left the city with someone else for a completely unfamiliar place, Li Yueling asked beside the rumbling train, "Jing, do you hate me?"
Song Jing, holding his hand, smiled and said something, then subconsciously replied, "What?"
Li Yueling smiled and replied, "It's nothing."
She watched them board the train, waved to them, and loudly wished them well. Then, gazing at the departing train, a smile froze on her face for a long time—a smile so melancholic, like the winter sun, pale and desolate.
***
In June, I had extra classes.
The sweltering heat made me feel listless.
Looking at the sullen Song Jing, Luo Chun said, "Go find him! He's so close by, it'll be good to talk to him."
Song Jing thought about it for a week, then hesitated for another week. Finally, with trembling fingers, she wrote a letter. The letter was simple: "I am Song Jing, I am in Class xxx at Lianhe High School." Her meaning was very simple: if they couldn't meet, at least they could communicate.
The letter was delivered by a friend of Song Jing's who happened to be going to the Second Middle School. Being a boy, he was allowed into the boys' dormitory. The letter was handed directly to Ouyang Xiao, and Song Jing only asked, "What did he say?"
Song Jing's friend replied, "He didn't say anything."
Song Jing didn't know how to describe her feelings at that time. She only felt... ah, maybe, maybe, because she had been forgotten! She tossed and turned, feeling like someone was standing there watching her every time she passed the school gate, but upon closer inspection, she realized there was no one she recognized. Her heart felt empty, yet her grades improved dramatically, firmly maintaining her position as the top student in the entire school. Actually, in a second-rate high school like Lianhe High School, being number one meant nothing. Song Jing's parents discussed it and brought up the idea of transferring schools with her.
Song Jing was bewildered.
How many times is this?
Song Jing asked herself, how many times had she and he broken their promise? No, they hadn't officially stated it; they had made a promise. It was just... an unspoken understanding. So, now, did that understanding still remain?! The reason Song Jing chose United High School was simple: it was the closest school to No. 2 High School, and also the closest place for Song Jing to Ouyang Xiao.
only……
No one knows how long the wait will be, or how much longer they will have to endure. Although there are sweet memories and beautiful promises, there is more pain that cannot be spoken or touched. Tossing and turning, tossing and turning, longing is the most difficult torment. This time, Song Jing's heart is truly unable to find peace.
That morning, the sky was clear and the sun was shining brightly.
The songs of Beyond on the radio seemed to transcend the past and future, breaking down the barriers of space and time to resonate in your ears. Beyond was the first band that Song Jing liked. Although F4, the boy band of flowers, occupied the attention of almost every girl that year, she stubbornly preferred Beyond.
“Listening to their songs seems to give me the strength to overcome everything,” she told Huang Li.
After a year, plus the three years of junior high school, Song Jing and Huang Li naturally became good friends. Although their relationship wasn't deep enough, it was enough to move Song Jing.
"I don't really know," Huang Li replied with a smile, adjusting her glasses.
"Hmm." Song Jing smiled and turned his head away.
The melancholy and strange sadness of youth take flight in the falling leaves and sudden downpours. Song Jingming, though not usually one for melancholy, gradually develops that air of bewilderment. Huang Li is focused on her studies; she loves the feeling of being in control, she wants to stand out and create her own sky, so she has no time for sentimentality.
“Jing, I think you should start planning your future.”
"future?"
“That’s right! For example, if you plan to do something in the future, start preparing in that direction now.” Huang Li smiled confidently.
"Huh?"
“For example, I’m aiming for a job with a million-dollar annual salary… of course, that’s something I’ll be doing when I’m thirty-five. So, to get that million-dollar job at thirty-five, I’m studying hard right now. My first goal is to get into a financial management college and study financial investment management. The cutoff score is around 580, and it only goes up! So…” Huang Li shrugged, revealing a helpless yet happy smile, “I can’t think about anything else.”
"What else?" Song Jing repeated blankly.
“Yes! At least, I can’t fall in love at such a young age!” Huang Li sighed heavily, then laughed. “But it’s okay! This is the price I have to pay, it’s nothing.”
"Is...is that so?"
"Hmm." Huang Li stood in front of Song Jing, her smile fading as she looked at her seriously, placing her hand on Song Jing's shoulder. "Jing, find something to do! Love isn't everything; life is everything."
"Life is everything..."
"Um."
Huang Li had never really liked Song Jing. It wasn't that Song Jing lacked ability; she stubbornly clung to her feelings, wasting her time. This waste infuriated Huang Li. However, Song Jing was naive and a bit slow to react, but her sincerity made her quite endearing. That's why Huang Li said those things to Song Jing—as a reminder.
Life is everything. This wasn't the first time Song Jing had heard this phrase. Nor was it the first time she had felt its impact. In her mind, life was nothing more than the endless repetition of going to school, taking exams, having holidays, and waiting for the start of the new semester. But life is never that simple; it also involves dreams, desires, and the steps to achieve them.
That evening, I made my usual phone call to my parents.
"What?" Song Jing's eyes widened suddenly, his pupils shrinking slightly.
“But…” Song Jing hurriedly tried to explain.
"I know, um, okay, goodbye Mom."
Click. Song Jing put down the phone, staring at the desolate night outside the window, and remained silent for a long time.
At thirteen, Song Jing entered her rebellious teenage years. By sixteen, she had become a little adult, understanding her parents' feelings. She knew that love could be a hopeless thing if the other person couldn't understand it. And one Saturday night, while alone in her dorm reading, a sentence she came across became the trigger.
"We...we'll be without a mother from now on." My sister hugged my shoulders, her voice choked with sobs. My eyes instantly welled up with tears.
Song Jing's eyes also welled up with tears, her eyes swelled and ached, her heart ached slightly, and suddenly, tears really fell.
She was precocious and introverted, keeping everything bottled up inside. Being the second child and a daughter, she felt neglected, which fueled her resentment. Unconsciously, she didn't realize that her actions hurt her parents, spending her days immersed in the sorrow of waiting for Ouyang Xiao. By the time she noticed, both sides had been hurt, but thankfully, it wasn't irreparable. Obediently following her parents' instructions, eagerly helping with chores, and striving to regain their love and affection, Song Jing's relationship with her parents is now in a period of mutual care.
Parents are the best people in the world to you. When you are hurt or suffer outside, you will see your parents' worried and warm eyes as soon as you go home.
Song Jing was grateful to her parents, and even more grateful for the words that had brought her to this realization so early. She finally understood the profound meaning of the saying, "A child with a mother is a treasure."
When Song Jing missed the cutoff score by a few points, her mother resolutely refused to spend more money to send her to the Second Middle School. Now, however, she was willing to let Song Jing transfer to the First Middle School for the entrance exam, using her connections from many years ago and incurring favors from those people to get Song Jing in. Song Jing was not unmoved; the care was mutual. She doted on her parents and thus received their love in return—but she didn't want to go so far away.
The distance between No. 1 Middle School and No. 2 Middle School is one hour by bus.
Song Jing was bewildered and at a loss. She was like a small boat tossed about on a turbulent sea, swaying and almost capsizing.
Gao Jin appeared out of nowhere.
In mid-June, the cicadas' song was incessant. Against this noisy backdrop, Gao Jin's tall, slender figure emerged from the shadows into the sunlight, appearing before a group of people bathed in a brilliant golden glow. That group consisted of Song Jing's classmates who had come here with him; they had been sitting in the pavilion, chatting and laughing, listening to the wind.