"Um."
“Ouyang Xiao”.
"Um."
“Ouyang Xiao”.
"Yes. I'm here."
She remained silent.
***
"Ah Jing!"
One day during a break between classes, Qin Nan poked Song Jing's arm with her pen.
"Huh?" Song Jing looked up, staring at her blankly.
Qin Nan leaned in a little closer, almost bumping into her head, and asked, "Who is that person?"
"Which person?"
"What? It's that person!"
"Hmm?" Song Jing frowned slightly, looking completely bewildered.
"Why are you pretending to be stupid? Lots of people saw it."
Song Jing remained bewildered.
Qin Nan got angry: "I saw it the other day, you were walking side by side with him! That baby face... Hey, I say, isn't that Ouyang Xiao from No. 2 Middle School?"
"You...how did you know?" Song Jing was startled, her face flushed, and she stammered as she asked.
"Go away!" Qin Nan scoffed at her attitude. "I don't know how I know, but who else could be a boy with such a dignified, baby-faced appearance who is also very famous, besides Ouyang Xiao?"
"Huh?!" Is Ouyang Xiao really that famous?
Qin Nan said, "Actually, it's nothing, but... someone's really sad." She then looked behind her. Li Cheng had been very depressed lately, spending all his time in and out of class slumped over his desk. Luckily, his father was influential, so the teachers turned a blind eye; otherwise, he would be in serious trouble.
“I…I…” Song Jing hesitated for a moment.
"It's alright, he'll recover soon." Qin Nan patted Song Jing's shoulder firmly, comforting him. "You don't need to worry about him."
Song Jing fell silent.
She couldn't fathom other people's hearts. Although sometimes she could see what they were thinking, she could never make the right judgments when it came to feelings. The only thing she could be sure of was her own heart, a mixture of guilt, sadness, and hope, a wish that the other person would meet someone better than herself and live a happy life—that was all.
She made up her mind and didn't see the sadness in Qin Nan's eyes.
Qin Nan had known Li Cheng for many years, and this was the first time she had seen him so serious. As a friend, she sincerely hoped that he and Song Jing would have a good outcome. Song Jing was a bit aloof and absent-minded, seemingly gloomy, but surprisingly kind-hearted, with a mind as clear as crystal. Li Cheng would definitely find happiness with her. She hadn't expected that Song Jing had someone she liked so much.
She didn't see Song Jing and Ouyang Xiao walking side by side; she only found out when she was drinking with Li Cheng and overheard him rambling incoherently while drunk.
Li Cheng was listless for a week, but quickly cheered himself up. He listened attentively in class and stopped talking; he reviewed his lessons diligently after class, completed his homework beautifully, and actively asked the teacher questions when he encountered problems he didn't understand, never letting a question linger overnight. He was like a different person; his inner potential had exploded.
When the monthly exam came, he jumped from 24th to 10th in his class, and even got the top score in mathematics in the entire school for a humanities class.
After that, he found Song Jing.
"I'll treat you to lunch."
"But……"
Li Cheng placed his hand on the table behind Song Jing, his other hand casually in his pocket. His deep, dark eyes seemed to exude a watery aura. He leaned down and said softly, "I'll treat you to lunch."
"Yes...yes." Song Jing panicked and quickly agreed.
Li Cheng stood up straight, gave her a deep look, and turned away without looking back.
Many years later, Song Jing saw Li Cheng again. He was still as proud as ever, his dark eyes beneath thick eyelashes revealing no emotion. He demanded that Song Jing obey his every word. Facing this Li Cheng, Song Jing felt a pang of pain in her chest, though she didn't know why. After their conversation that day, Song Jing sat alone, a melting strawberry sundae before her, the air thick with Wan Fang's childlike charm. Touching her aching chest, she murmured, "If..."
That's all there is to it.
There are no "what ifs" in this world, only destiny.
He stood at the school gate, playing with his silver-white phone. When he saw her approaching, he deftly put the phone away and said, "You're here." As he spoke, he didn't look at her; his gaze was fixed on what was behind her.
Song Jing couldn't help but straighten her back and pursed her lips, saying, "Mmm."
"Let's go."
He took her to KFC and ordered chicken legs, hamburgers, and strawberry sundaes. It was lunchtime, and the place was quite crowded. They sat in a corner facing the huge floor-to-ceiling window, watching people come and go in a hurry outside.
"You don't like it?" He pointed to the plate that Song Jing hadn't touched at all.
Song Jing shook his head and said, "This is my first time here."
Li Cheng smiled, seemingly pleased, but the smile quickly faded as he glared at him: "If you don't eat, you'll starve to death."
Song Jing picked up the hamburger, took a bite, pursed her lips, and after a moment, said, "The taste is so strange."
Li Cheng frowned: "Strange?" His expression turned fierce. "Don't say it's strange! Eat up!" After a moment, he reached out and asked, "Is it really strange?" He snatched the hamburger that Song Jing had taken a bite out of, took a bite of the hamburger that Song Jing had taken, ate it slowly, and then concluded very seriously, "It's no different from usual."
Song Jing's face flushed instantly, and she fidgeted uncomfortably: "You...you..."
He looked up at Song Jing innocently: "What's wrong with me? You said it tasted strange, so I tried it to see. How can I know if you're right or wrong if I haven't tried it?"
Song Jing was so angry that he trembled all over.
Li Cheng's smile faded, and he said in a deep voice, "Hurry up and eat. I have something to tell you after you finish."
Song Jing quickly started eating.
Li Cheng only said one sentence: "I am taller than him."
"ah?"
Li Cheng smiled wryly, resigned to saying whatever he was told. Ouyang Xiao had never fallen out of the top three in science at No. 2 High School. He had a baby face, not exactly handsome but still good-looking. He'd heard Ouyang Xiao had a bad temper, but it was certain he was very good to Song Jing. Li Cheng? He only surpassed Ouyang Xiao in one area.
It's not as good as it, it can't compare.
This is the position in Song Jing's heart.
Although I accepted reality, yet...
I'm not willing to accept this.
I'm so unwilling to accept this.
"Hmm, Song Jing, I have a question for you."
"ah?"
"If I had met you before him and treated you very well, would... would you have only ever been attracted to me?"
The memory of Li Cheng was thus frozen in time.
***
Song Jing knew Ouyang Xiao to some extent. After Ouyang Xiao explained a past event to Song Jing last time, she understood one thing: Ouyang Xiao wouldn't take action unless it was certain.
“He won’t hurt me,” she told Li Yueling on the other end of the phone. They didn’t contact each other often, occasionally talking on the phone about trivial things, but they never talked about their innermost feelings again.
"Go away!" Li Yueling scoffed and didn't ask any further questions.
They all knew that something was changing, and taboos arose as a result, but no one was able to fill the void. They did wrong and were punished—but they didn't know for whom the punishment was given.
Song Jing said slowly, "Yes. Because his mother suffered such harm, he is determined not to let me repeat the same mistake."
"Oh, oh, oh, oh—" Li Yueling answered in a drawn-out tone, then changed the subject and asked, "How's your revision going?"
Song Jing paused for a moment, then said, "It's alright."
"Oh no! I'm doomed! My English is terrible, my math is terrible... Ugh—I really want to die! The college entrance exam is a nightmare!"
Song Jing smiled and said, "It's alright, everyone goes through this."
"That's why I didn't say anything harsh, because everyone goes through similar experiences!"
Song Jing smiled wryly. "Isn't this intense enough?"
At this moment, Li Yueling asked suspiciously, "I remember you weren't good at math either. How come you've improved so much lately?"
Song Jing smiled slightly: "Yes!"
Ouyang Xiao didn't simply accompany her during self-study; more often, he tutored her in math and even geography. Song Jing was no longer surprised. She no longer sought answers to questions like, "Why is Ouyang Xiao, a science student, better at geography than me, a humanities student?" Ouyang Xiao always instilled a sense of frustration, leaving her only able to look up to him in awe.
He was patient and attentive, and she never showed the slightest bit of unhappiness.
They all spent each day happily and energetically.
if……
How can one forgive someone for losing face first?!
Everything seemed to be moving in a positive direction, just like the scene I'd seen countless times in my dreams. He was right beside me, within reach, and I felt so happy.
But……
But……
But……
What about the intense unease within you?
What should we do with it?
With three weeks until the college entrance exam, Ouyang Xiao and Song Jing were studying in the classroom as usual on Saturday. Song Jing kept flipping through her books, showing signs of growing restlessness. Ouyang Xiao glanced at her and quickly packed up her things.
“You…” Song Jing looked up in surprise.
Ouyang Xiao bent down and took something out from under the table. They didn't study in the same classroom at the same school; sometimes it was Song Jing's classroom, and sometimes it was Ouyang Xiao's. This time, Song Jing came over, and Ouyang Xiao was waiting for her in the classroom. Song Jing watched as Ouyang Xiao took out a violin from under the table; its golden body and silver strings shone brilliantly in the sunlight.
Ouyang Xiao placed the violin under his chin, tried several notes, and suddenly said, "It's been many years since I've played it."
"Huh?" Song Jing's eyes widened.
“After that year, I never pulled it again.” Ouyang Xiao looked at Song Jing, then turned her gaze away. “Because the person who was there to listen was no longer there.”
Song Jingyou blushed.
"It might not sound very good, but I really want you to hear it."
One of Niccolò Paganini's Twenty-Four Caprices.
That song, a melody that even death cannot erase. Song Jing easily drifted into memories—those things, slowly buried deep in her memory because of loneliness, still so vivid now. Ouyang Xiao winked mischievously, proudly raising her chin, remaining silent as if she didn't know her, then hesitating to speak… She remembered that night, the gentle night breeze ruffling Ouyang Xiao's bangs and lifting the strands of hair that fell over her shoulders, the lights gradually turning on, the distant village nestled in the mountain valley resembling a solitary star twinkling in the vast night sky.