В погоне за радугами

Глава 73

“The prince consort is the princess’s husband, not ‘someone else’,” I told her.

“He was a complete stranger to me from beginning to end,” the princess said, gazing at me intently before turning her attention back to me: “I thought you would be happy to tell you this.”

Feeling quite embarrassed, I turned to look out the window: "What does this have to do with me?"

"Is it alright?" she asked back, turning to look me directly in the eyes, then smiled and said, "I didn't notice that someone had been drinking alone last night."

My mental defenses crumbled under this attack, and I was forced into retreat.

Reason tells me that the princess's actions are wrong, from her attitude towards the prince consort to her current words and deeds in my room. I should dissuade and stop her. However, it would be quite hypocritical to say that I don't feel any pleasure or warmth because of this.

Knowing that continuing the current topic would be dangerous, I couldn't bring myself to ask her to leave. I turned around and met her gaze, giving her a bitter smile amidst this conflicting feeling.

"Does the Prince Consort know you came out to find me?" I asked her.

“I don’t know. When I came out, he was sleeping like a log,” she replied. Under my gaze, her relaxed smile gradually faded, and she continued, “He really is a ‘snorer.’ Last night, I lay down fully clothed and barely managed to fall asleep after a long time, but I was woken up in the middle of the night by Li Wei’s snoring. I opened my eyes wide and, by the light of the dragon and phoenix candles, surveyed the unfamiliar surroundings, only then gradually remembering that I had married the man who sleeps on the floor, and that I could never go back to my parents’ side.”

His snoring came in waves. I quietly approached him and looked closely. He was a bloated, oblivious man, fast asleep, his mouth still open, the drool glistening in the moonlight streaming in from the window…

"I stood silently beside him for a long time, thinking that this was the person I would spend the rest of my life with. For the next few decades, I would be with him every day. So what else in this life could I look forward to? ... I turned to look at the night outside the window and felt that the day would never come to light again."

Her tone was calm, and her eyes were not filled with tears, yet the words she spoke at that moment were more heartbreaking than the tears she shed when she parted from her mother during the day.

“At that moment, I really wanted to go back to ten years ago, to be a carefree little girl again, and to recite ‘taro balls under the eaves’ with you on a moonlit night like this.” She forced a smile. “So, I came to find you, to see if you still have any little taro balls under the moonlight.”

I smiled helplessly at her and said, "I'm sorry, I don't have any taro here right now."

She shook her head: "It's alright. Seeing you makes me feel like I'm still at home."

I longed to hold her in my arms, comfort her, respond to her, and tell her about my subtle and complex feelings at that moment. However, feeling the gradually brightening morning light in the room, I ultimately did nothing. Instead, I changed the subject and suggested gently, "The princess's garden is full of lush flowers and trees, and the morning air is fresh. Why don't you move your harp there to practice? Perhaps it will ease your mind."

The princess agreed, so I asked her to go to the garden first. After she left, I put on my clothes and hat, washed up briefly, and went out with my flute in hand. I then discovered that Bai Maoxian had disappeared sometime earlier and was now standing in the courtyard. Upon seeing me, he quickly came over to greet me and asked if I had any instructions.

Xiao Bai was twelve years old that year. He was intelligent, quick-witted, loved reading, and acted with composure. I asked him to find someone to move the konghou to the garden, and then I walked into the garden myself, thinking to myself as I went. He really was a clever child.

Clearly, the princess and her consort spent their second night in the same way. The next day, the princess's maids whispered among themselves, even laughing and saying that the floor was too cold and that they should move a soft couch for the consort to a corner of the princess's room.

Details about the princess's private quarters spread with incredible speed, becoming the main topic of conversation among the household servants. Of course, they weren't the ones most concerned about how the newlyweds were getting along.

"The Empress Dowager is berating the Prince Consort in the backyard." In the afternoon, Zhang Chengzhao reported to me with a hint of schadenfreude what he had seen. "She said he was weak-willed and didn't even dare to touch his wife, that he was not a real man. She was so angry that she reached out and twisted the Prince Consort's ear, and her voice got louder and louder, making the maids around them secretly cover their mouths and laugh."

I hesitated for a moment, then asked him a question: "What was the prince consort's reaction?"

“Hey, our Commandant Li is a taciturn fellow, what else can he do?” Zhang Chengzhao laughed. “He just covers his ears and listens to his mother’s lecture without saying a word for a long time.”

Although Yang and Li Wei were mother and son, their appearances and personalities were quite different. Li Wei was simple and honest, while Yang had a sharp face, thin lips, and a shrewd look in her eyes. Li Wei accepted all of the princess's arrangements, and his mother was unlikely to stand idly by.

This conjecture was quickly confirmed. That evening, after dinner, Liang Quanyi and I were discussing the ceremony for the princess and her husband's three-day reunion when Madam Han came in, took out a piece of white silk, and whispered to us, "This was just given to me by the Empress Dowager, and she wants me to put it on the princess's bed."

I exchanged a glance with Supervisor Liang, and we were both speechless for a moment.

Although I am a palace attendant, I have heard of the custom of placing white cloth on the wedding bed to verify the bride's chastity, but this detail does not apply to a princess's wedding.

"Have you explained to the Empress Dowager that there is no such ceremony for the princess's descent?" Supervisor Liang asked Lady Han.

Madam Han sighed, "Of course she did, but she smiled and said that she would never dare to question the princess's integrity. It's just that this is the custom of the common people, and it's also the Li family's rule. It was the same when the prince consort's brother married his sister-in-law. Since the princess has married into the Li family, it's not wrong for her to act according to the Li family's rules. Even if the emperor knew, he would probably agree." After saying that, she forced the hand into my hand, said that she would come to pick it up tomorrow, and left. I really didn't know what to do, so I had no choice but to come to you and ask you for advice.

I also believe that her actions were not intended to question the princess's integrity, but rather to pressure her into a fait accompli and create a situation where the princess's fate was sealed. But given the princess's temperament, would she willingly submit to her manipulation?

So I said to Han, "The princess must not know about this. She will surely think it is an insult to her, and if this damages her relationship with the Empress Dowager, the consequences will be unimaginable."

“However,” Liang Dujian pondered, “the Empress Dowager has already ordered that the white silk be placed on the wedding bed. If we do not do this, she will definitely make repeated requests, and may even personally ask the princess. If we do not explain this to the princess first, the situation will probably be even more difficult to manage.”

What he said certainly made sense. I could only sigh, "But explaining this to the princess is easier said than done."

"No need to make things difficult, I already know." The princess's voice rang out from outside the window, and then with a swirling of her skirt, she appeared at the door.

We didn't have time to show much surprise; we all quickly stood up and bowed to her.

Her expression remained calm, showing no sign of shame, anger, or resentment. She simply walked straight up to Han and extended her hand, saying, "Give me the white silk."

Han handed her the white silk as instructed. She took it, looked it over with her eyes down, and a mocking smile appeared on her lips.

The next day, the princess returned to the palace to pay her respects to her parents. She showed no emotion in front of them and did not treat her husband coldly. In particular, when her father asked her about the situation, she repeatedly said that everything was fine, which made the emperor smile happily, as if he had breathed a sigh of relief.

However, once back in the princess's residence, the hidden problems in this marriage soon became apparent.

Upon returning from the palace, the princess, following the proper court etiquette, sat in the painted hall of her residence, behind a curtain, to receive her parents-in-law.

The emperor's brother-in-law has passed away, and now the only one to be seen is Madam Yang. Madam Yang was already dressed in her formal attire and made up in full regalia. She entered happily, gave the princess a curtsy from outside the curtain, said a few auspicious words, and then quickly inquired about her well-being: "Princess, have you been comfortable in my home these past few days? Are the servants serving you satisfactory? If there is anything wrong with them, Princess, please tell your mother. I will discipline them as necessary and then put them to use again."

The princess ignored her for the moment, turned her head to look at Zhang Chengzhao beside her, and asked, "Who is speaking in the hall?"

Zhang Chengzhao bowed and replied, "Your Highness, it is Lady Yang, the mother of the Imperial Son-in-Law."

"Oh, so it's Sister Yang." The princess pretended to realize something, then said to the people below, "Please give Sister Yang a seat."

"Sister-in-law?" Madam Yang muttered, repeating the title.

Zhang Chengzhao walked to the outside of the curtain and smiled at Madam Yang, saying, "Madam Yang, as the wife of the Emperor's brother-in-law, is from a family that has married a princess, it is customary to lower one's rank in the family hierarchy as a sign of respect. Now that we are talking about you, you are the princess's sister-in-law, so please do not refer to yourself as 'Mother' when addressing the princess, as this would disrupt the proper order of seniority."

Madam Yang was slightly displeased, but Supervisor Liang kindly explained to her, "This is how the ceremonial system of the dynasty is stipulated. You must have heard it from others before, right? The etiquette is as it is, and it is not appropriate to change it at will. I hope you will forgive any unreasonable aspects."

Madam Yang forced a smile and said, "I know. Calling the princess 'Mother' is simply to make her feel more intimate, like she's with her mother. Since the princess isn't happy about it, I'll change it back."

"The Empress Dowager is indeed wise." Zhang Chengzhao, with his not-so-serious smile, reminded her of another point, "There is another matter that I hope you will pay attention to: the land and all expenses for building this princess's residence were bestowed by the Emperor. This residence was originally one of the dowry items given to the princess by the Emperor. The princess is the rightful owner here, not living in the Empress Dowager's house. The Empress Dowager is originally a guest, living here with the Prince Consort. If she feels uncomfortable in any way, she can raise it with the princess at any time, and the princess will do her best to make proper arrangements for her."

Madam Yang's face darkened further, but she couldn't refute it, so she could only reply resentfully, "In that case, I thank the princess in advance. The princess has gone to great lengths."