В погоне за радугами

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The princess, her face pale, turned to face me and called me softly as before, "Huaiji."

None of the vicious attacks and harsh curses before could pierce my heart like this call. Ignoring the stares of others, I stepped forward, pulled her into my arms, gently patted her back, and whispered, "It's alright... I'll take you back..."

I maintained a gentle expression, but inside I just wanted to cry out loud. I was filled with resentment at my own powerlessness, for putting her in such an embarrassing situation and making her bear this unprecedented humiliation and pain on my behalf. All I could do at that moment was offer her this insignificant comfort.

"Go back where?" she asked calmly.

"The Princess's Bedchamber".

She looked up, stared into my eyes, and clearly expressed her desire: "I want to go home."

"Go home?" I was surprised and unsure of what she meant.

She nodded and continued, "I want to return to the palace."

"Back to the palace now?" I frowned and looked at the deep night outside, then said to her, "Princess, all the gates of the palace are now closed."

"I want to go back to the palace." She seemed not to hear me and repeated me firmly.

Just as we were exchanging words, a flash of lightning appeared on the horizon, followed by a rumble of thunder, and a heavy layer of cold rain began to fall.

"Princess, it's raining. Why don't we wait until tomorrow when it's light..." I advised her. But before I could finish, she pushed me away and turned to run into the rain.

I was shocked and immediately grabbed an outer garment from the hanger and chased after her. When I caught up with her in the courtyard, she was already sobbing uncontrollably. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back around. The scattered flashes of lightning illuminated her bare face, which was covered in watermarks, making it impossible to distinguish between rain and tears.

"Take me out!" She gripped my arms tightly, and in the night rain and wind, she said to me in a mournful voice, "Huaiji, I want to get out, I want to go home, I don't want to be trapped here!"

She wept bitterly before me, her sorrow so profound it seemed she could see no tomorrow. And that word "困" (trapped/trapped) was a hidden curse, one I had often heard mentioned during my years in the court. The fact that the princess uttered it with such despair stirred a deep unease within me.

My remaining sanity couldn't bear the weight of her tears. What were palace rules? What did laws matter? In an instant, all of that seemed insignificant. I could cast them aside along with my life, just to give her a little space to breathe.

“Alright, Princess, let’s go back to the palace.” I said to her, unfolded my cloak and draped it over her, trying to wrap her up as tightly as possible. Then I put my arm around her shoulder, sheltering her under my protection and shielding her from the wind. In this way, I hurriedly led her to the place where the palace carriage was parked.

After our imperial carriage drove out of the gate, Li Wei staggered after us in the rain.

"Princess, Princess..." he ran, reaching out towards the direction the carriage was heading, calling out repeatedly in a distraught voice. Was he afraid, trying to dissuade the princess from entering the palace? I looked back, hesitated, and slowed down.

"Go quickly!" the princess cried, urging him on without a second glance at Li Wei. Her tearful eyes did not soften her stubborn expression. "If I stay even a moment longer, I will die here!"

I immediately cracked the whip, widening the distance between the oxcart and Li Wei. Seeing that he could not catch up, his knees buckled, and he knelt on the puddled ground, bursting into tears like a child.

"Why did it turn out like this?" he cried out, staring at the two sprays of water kicked up by the wheels. "I tried my best, why wouldn't you even glance at it?"

At the Xihua Gate, I introduced myself to the guards: "Princess of Yan Kingdom."

They were astonished, unable to believe that the "madwoman" frantically banging on the palace gates could be the beloved daughter of that famous emperor. Their hesitant gazes swept over our faces before they finally told us to wait there and then return to the city gate, whereupon they loudly recounted the situation to the gatekeepers on the city tower.

The gatekeeper was an official from the Inner Palace. He scrutinized us carefully from a distance for a moment, and finally confirmed that what I said was true. He bowed to the princess upstairs to apologize, and then quickly entered the palace to report to the emperor.

A few moments later, I witnessed a strange sight I had never seen before in my life—the palace gates were open at night.

The heavy, vermilion-lacquered gates of the imperial city opened slowly from the inside, casting several interlacing, ever-changing fan-shaped shadows inside and outside the gates. Guards stood in two rows in front of the gates, holding torches high, while eunuchs behind the gates carried palace lanterns. Everyone held their breath, making the creaking sound of the door hinges all the more clear.

After the palace gates opened wide, the princess slowly stepped inside. This was the first time the princess had entered and exited the palace amidst the flickering lights and candlelight.

The gatekeeper, holding a row of gilded bronze keys, immediately led the others in bowing to the princess. The palace officials who had rushed over seemed to be still in a dream, and their bowing was not in sync—it was the first time for them to welcome the princess into the palace in such a simple and hasty manner at midnight.

The Xihua Gate was chosen because it was the closest palace gate to the Forbidden City. However, to reach the Funing Palace where the current emperor resided, there were still several palace gates and halls to pass through: Pinggong Gate, Huangyi Gate, Chuigong Gate, Chuigong Hall... In front of each palace gate stood a gatekeeper who had rushed to open the gate. When they saw the princess entering the palace at an unauthorized time, without a fish tally or an imperial edict, they could hardly hide the surprise on their faces.

The princess ignored them, raising her head and striding quickly through the palace gates. After we passed, those gates slammed shut behind us, the sound of them locking echoing. This slightly alarming sound suddenly reminded me of the lessons I received when I first entered the palace as a child: if the gatekeepers did not follow the proper procedures for allowing people to enter or leave, the lightest punishment would be exile, the heaviest would be hanging…

When the princess entered the Funing Palace, the clouds had cleared and the rain had stopped, but I had a pessimistic feeling that this forbidden gate might lead to a stormy rainy season.

The Lonely City Closes (The Princess Who Fell in Love with a Eunuch) The wine is finished, leaving only two sorrowful brows and wisteria.

Chapter word count: 3653 Update time: 09-07-05 10:37

wisteria

(3350 words)

In the Funing Palace, the princess was about to bow when the Emperor stopped her, showing concern and worry. He repeatedly asked her what had happened, but she only wept. Soon after, the Empress and Consort Miao arrived, embracing and comforting her. Only then did the princess begin to pour out her heart, starting with the grievances she had suffered since her arrival, and continuing to the story of Yang poisoning her and the insults she had inflicted on us that night. Of course, her account was somewhat tactless; she omitted details of our affair and only briefly mentioned that she had "drunk a cup of wine and exchanged a few words" with me after being bullied by the consort and his mother. She said that Yang had spied on us and then launched a tirade of insults and provocations, and that Li Wei, upon hearing the commotion, came to his mother's aid and beat her.

Upon hearing this, Consort Miao flew into a rage. Holding her daughter, she no longer concealed the resentment that had been building up over the years because of this marriage. Wiping away her tears, she said bitterly, "My perfectly fine, delicate, and incomparably noble daughter, with so many talented men in the world vying for her hand, had to marry into the Li family to bring glory to their family. It would have been fine if they hadn't served her properly, but why did they have to resort to so many despicable means to torment her? They even drugged her! How could the Empress Dowager of the Imperial Uncle do something like that, treating a virgin like a madam! I wonder if her family ran a paper money shop or a brothel back then!"

She spoke these words facing the Empress, but they were probably mainly addressed to the Emperor. The Emperor was usually very averse to people mentioning the Li family's past practice of making a living by cutting paper money, and he probably felt that Yang's actions had gone too far. He did not show any dissatisfaction to Consort Miao, but simply lowered his head, frowned, and sighed from time to time.

"And then there's Li Wei, ugly and stupid, a complete idiot. If it weren't for the imperial family's mercy, he wouldn't have been able to even touch the princess's skirt, even if he did eighteen lifetimes of good deeds. Now that he's used the princess to rise above his station and become the Imperial Son-in-Law, he dares to treat her badly. When she refuses to sleep with him, he beats and scolds her. Does he treat her like a maid or a dancer and singer?" Consort Miao scolded Li Wei, her own voice choked with sobs as she became increasingly angry.

Finally, he simply hugged the princess tightly and cried, "My child, I don't know what kind of life you've been living in the princess's residence these past few years. It's rare that you've silently endured it for so long, you must not want your father to worry..."

Upon hearing this, the princess burst into tears and wept bitterly in her mother's arms. The Emperor, looking utterly helpless, felt somewhat embarrassed by Consort Miao's words and stammered, attempting to offer some words of comfort: "Perhaps there is some misunderstanding; the consort shouldn't have gone to such lengths..."

"What misunderstanding?" Consort Miao, who doted on her daughter, did not adhere to the usual strict distinction between superiors and inferiors. She immediately pulled the princess to the side for the Emperor to see and retorted, "The finger marks on my daughter's face are still there. What misunderstanding could there be?"

This was obviously an exaggeration; the princess's face was only slightly red, and there was no trace of a fingerprint. But the emperor did not refute it, remaining silent as he watched the princess, who was nestled in her mother's arms and crying, with deep concern. He slowly reached out as if to comfort her, but hesitated and withdrew his hand, resting it on his knees, and sighed heavily.

At this moment, the Empress silently stood up, gave me a wink, and gestured for me to go out with her.

I followed her to the west wing of the main hall. She dismissed the other servants and then asked me, "The princess said that she was drinking and talking with you, while the Empress Dowager was spying on you. So what were you talking about? Besides drinking, what else did you do?"

I remained silent for a long time before finally replying, "Nothing much, just trimming the candle in the breeze and chatting idly by the west window."

"Gossiping by the west window?" The Empress frowned, deeply suspicious. "Is that all? The Empress Dowager's wife has seen you alone before, but this time she is so angry that she even uttered insults. What she saw must be unusual."

I've never been good at lying, especially not in front of the Empress. So, all I can do now is remain silent.

She observed me with a calm gaze, making me feel once again that I had nowhere to hide.