He huddled alone in the darkness without candlelight, reminiscing about his past with Xiao Shijing.
He didn't want to let go.
I really don't want to let go.
But his Jing'er's heart and eyes were filled with Feng Muting.
He was really jealous.
I really want to kill Feng Muting too.
That night, Xiao Shixun clutched the bell he had prepared to give to Xiao Shijing, hiding in the darkness, unable to sleep a wink, quietly waiting for the next day to arrive.
The next day happened to be Xiao Shixun's birthday. He tried to test Xiao Shijing in various ways, but the results were all unacceptable to him.
When he saw Xiao Shijing trying to commit suicide because he thought Feng Muting was dead, he understood everything.
But he was unwilling to accept it.
I'm really not willing to accept this.
That was his beloved Jing'er.
It was the light he wanted to embrace.
But the light he longed to embrace clung to another ray of light, willing to be shattered to pieces for it.
The moment Xiao Shijing leaped onto the railing, Xiao Shixun understood everything completely. He rushed over and pulled Xiao Shijing back. It turned out that he was so afraid of him dying, so afraid of losing him.
However, whether Xiao Shijing is alive or dead, he cannot possess him.
He couldn't bear to part with her in the end, and finally let go. But he knew that as a living man, he couldn't bear to see his beloved Jing'er with someone else.
So he took the guard's sword and threw it in front of Xiao Shijing, saying that if he couldn't be with him, he would die by his hand.
"I really, really love Jing'er. If there's an afterlife—no, you wouldn't want to be with me in an afterlife—but if I could, I would definitely learn to love you properly in the next life..."
"Today is my birthday... Jing'er, just call me Shixun, just once... okay... I really want to hear it... I really want to..."
"I'm going to hell. I'll never see Jing'er again. I will always love Jing'er, always, always love... my Jing'er—"
On his deathbed, Xiao Shixun poured out his love and reluctance, one sentence after another, knowing that if he didn't speak now, he would never have the chance again.
The bell rolled away, and he breathed his last.
It was at that moment that he heard Xiao Shijing say, "Happy birthday, Shixun. I wish we would never meet again, in life or in death."
That "Happy Birthday," that "Shi Xun," were so beautiful, but Xiao Shi Xun had already fallen into Xiao Shi Jing's arms, and along with that "I wish to never see you again in life or death," he sank into the abyss of endless darkness.
Snowflakes drifted down slowly, landing on Xiao Shixun and Xiao Shijing, turning their hair "white".
It reminds one of the line: "Two hearts yearning for each other, both drenched in snow; in this life, we may grow old together."
————
Beside the Naihe Bridge, Meng Po's soup leads to reincarnation, turning one into a white ray of light.
I open my eyes to the world, and see your face again.