Yang Luning was also puzzled: "Yu Lele, how long has it been since you had a proper night's sleep?"
They chatted amongst themselves, but Yu Lele was too weak to reply. She could only glance at their faces to express her gratitude. She noticed that Lian Haiping hadn't said a word, simply standing quietly at the foot of the bed, hands in his pockets, smiling at her. His Adidas down jacket shimmered with a deep blue light in the setting sun, and combined with his tall stature, strangely reminded her of the animated series *Transformers* she'd watched as a child, making her smile involuntarily.
Seeing that she was alright, the crowd gradually dispersed, until only Xu Yin and Lian Haiping remained. Xu Yin stood up and tucked Yu Lele in, saying softly, "You should sleep a little longer. The doctor said you're suffering from malnutrition and overwork. I really can't understand how our school can still have students collapsing due to malnutrition these days." She looked at Yu Lele as she spoke, her tone full of helplessness.
“Thank you all,” Yu Lele said, her voice hoarse, having mustered all her strength to speak, “but if I sleep any longer, I’ll really turn into a pig.”
Xu Yin glared at Yu Lele: "Stop making fun of the pig. Is there such a weak pig?"
Seeing Yu Lele smile, Lian Haiping opened a bottle of mineral water and gestured for Xu Yin to hand it to her. Yu Lele was lying down and couldn't reach it, so Lian Haiping went to her side, bent down, found the handle under the bed, and cranked it a few times to raise the bed. Yu Lele, half-leaning back, finally let out a long sigh, stretched out her right arm, and joked while drinking water, "Then it's not a pig, it's Sleeping Beauty!"
Before Xu Yin could speak, Lian Haiping said in a serious tone, "Please don't insult Sleeping Beauty. I liked her a lot when I was a child."
Yu Lele finally burst out laughing.
11-2
Author's Note: Finally, finally, finally... I drifted back...
I was deeply moved by everyone's comments. I originally thought this kind of novel was only for me—I still prefer those subtle emotions, like the purest and brightest blossoms of youth. So, I wrote this for kindred spirits, believing that you too will experience true and pure love.
They broke up just like that.
Actually, I felt it was sudden. Logically, there should have been some more entanglement or something, but after thinking about it for a long time, I decided to write it this way: firstly, to maintain structural independence when entering the "second part" of the novel, which focuses on the breakup; secondly, because of the characters' personalities—perhaps there are too many kids and boys like this around me, so for people like them, I can only say that, under the circumstances, breaking up was an unavoidable choice.
This is just about them, not necessarily about you or me. I firmly believe that every love story has its own beauty, and even if you let go, you should still be grateful.
The most painful moment is naturally the breakup; afterwards, love becomes a scar, aching intermittently.
I really like my old essays, "Love in the South, I in the North" and "Missing You at Seven O'Clock, Nostalgia at Eight O'Clock." Perhaps people who have loved or lost love share these feelings.
We are all ordinary people; we've cried, laughed, and felt resentful. We've all gone through some of the same experiences.
But we must still live well—if we can live with even more vigor, then there is no true end to life.
It seems like it's been a long time since I've laughed like this, because he took away all the sunshine in my life, so how could I still laugh?
Of course, I haven't had a good night's sleep in a long time, because as soon as I close my eyes, I can see his face, hear his voice, and remember what he said. He said: Lele, do you really have nothing to say to me now?
He couldn't see her. She bit her lip, swallowing all the words she wanted to say, crushing all her pleas and reluctance to let go, and swallowing them whole. She couldn't say anything—if she did, he would turn back; if she did, he wouldn't leave.
All the torment of the past three months was for this moment, wasn't it? Although she resisted the arrival of this moment time and time again, wasn't this her original intention?
With a thousand words to say, all I could reply to him was: I'm very tired.
He finally said: I understand, then... let's break up.
A bolt from the blue struck her mercilessly. She felt a salty, metallic taste rise in her throat, as if she were about to spit out bright red blood.
Then she heard him say: Take care.
Take good care of yourself.
These were the last words he left for her. Three words, too, but before, she would always force him to say "I love you."
He was too embarrassed to say those three words in the dorm back then, but she pretended that her cell phone signal was bad and repeatedly urged him loudly, "Speak louder, I can't hear you!"
Forced into a corner, he could only laugh and say, "I hate you!"
His voice was so loud that she was stunned for a moment, then almost burst out laughing.
But from now on, all of these will only be memories.
That day, he didn't say "goodbye." I vaguely remember him saying: "Goodbye means meeting again. If you don't love each other anymore, meeting again will be awkward. So, you can't say 'goodbye' when you break up."
At the time, they seemed to have gone to see a movie together, and in the film, the male and female protagonists broke up. On a high bridge, with cars passing by, the male protagonist said to the female protagonist: "Let's not see each other again."
—So, Xu Chen, from now on, shall we never see each other again?
This is the path I chose, but Xu Chen, why does my heart feel like it's going to burst whenever I think about never being able to see you again?
It turns out that love is a deadly poison, capable of killing instantly.
After being discharged from the hospital, Yu Lele went home on sick leave. It seemed everyone already knew about her breakup with Xu Chen. Everyone who came to visit her spoke evasively, a mixture of sympathy and pity, which Yu Lele found even more suspicious. She pretended not to see or understand anything, but the despair and pain in her heart remained firmly with her.
She walked around the house weakly and pale every day, wearing thick pajamas and turning the air conditioner up to the maximum, yet still feeling cold. Yu Tian, unable to bear it any longer, sat in his wheelchair and sighed, "Sister, how could you let yourself get like this?"
Yu Lele looked up at Yu Tian and noticed that the handsome young man looked much better: although his height and weight had not changed, his expression was becoming more and more like that of an adult.
Yu Tian felt embarrassed by her gaze and turned his wheelchair to go back to his room. Halfway there, he suddenly stopped, turned back to Yu Lele, looked at her, and hesitantly asked, "Sister, why did you two break up?"
With a loud crash, something was knocked down in Yu Lele's heart. She looked up at Yu Tian, her eyes filled with an untouchable pain.
"If you don't love someone anymore, just break up. It's normal to part amicably." The tone was calm.
Yu Tian pouted: "Sis, even you're treating me like a child?"
"I...no."
"Then tell me why you want to break up?" he persisted.
“Yu Tian, you don’t understand. This is for his own good,” she said calmly.
"But, sister, you've never asked him if he appreciates your kindness?" Yu Tian finally couldn't help but sigh. "Does he even think it's for his own good?"
One sentence struck Yu Lele's heart like a thunderbolt.
Those memories, those beautiful times, his smiles, his embraces—all floated before her eyes, vivid and clear. It turned out she had never truly asked him: "Would you like to go abroad? If it weren't for me, would you go abroad?"
She simply guessed, based on common sense, that he would definitely leave, because there was nothing here worth staying for; staying would only cause him pain.
But can love be deduced using common sense?
Thinking of this, her head began to throb violently. The aftereffects of her long-term neurasthenia finally erupted, and a severe cold struck her down, plunging her into a fever that lasted almost day and night. In her delirious state, she seemed to vaguely see him standing in front of her, coldly smiling as he said to her: "Yu Lele, why should I owe you any favors?"
She reached out to grab him, but he shook her off without hesitation. He turned and walked faster and faster, so fast she couldn't keep up. Then, his figure became a tiny dot, disappearing into the air and never to be seen again. She collapsed to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably, her cries so loud, yet he wouldn't turn back…
11-3
When I woke up, my pillow was soaked, my head was still buzzing and throbbing, and I felt weak all over. Only the tear stains on my cheeks were clearly visible, and they still stung faintly in the winter air.
She glanced at the alarm clock; it was only 6 a.m. She closed her eyes listlessly, yet couldn't help but recall: the sincere voice of the woman sitting opposite her in the crisp, clear autumn air of October.
She looked at herself, her eyes filled with reluctance and sorrow, and said, "I know that you are the best person to him in this world besides his family, but I still came to beg you. Because only you are willing to give him up for his own good."
In that instant, Yu Lele clearly felt her heart clench, almost suffocating.
Having weathered so many storms and suffered so much loss, she thought she could withstand all threats. But she didn't realize that she was simply powerless against pleas!
She didn't cry that day.
She barely spoke; she simply listened silently as the woman sitting opposite her told her: Xu Chen's future is a gamble. No one says he'll definitely lose, but what if he does? There are all sorts of social classes in the hospital. Even if he successfully graduates with his doctorate in eight years, the job market will already be saturated. And with a father like that, how will he compete with others?
She looked anxious: “Child, do you know how realistic this society is? He has no one to rely on here, not even anyone willing to help him. But if he goes abroad, he has skills and abilities, and of course, I will be there for him. We are all his family, and we will never harm him.”
Those repeated calls could not help but shatter her last bit of resolve: "Child, I'm begging you, please go and talk to him, let him go abroad, okay? If you're willing, I can help you apply for a dependent visa. You'll graduate a year earlier than him, so you can learn the language. After he graduates, you can both take the exam and go abroad together. I'll take care of you there, and you won't suffer too much. It's just that it's so far from home, and it will be hard on your mother. She'll definitely miss you terribly..."
Her voice trailed off, trailed off.
"Mom"—Xu Jianping's appeal to family ties, after moving Xu Chen, also struck Yu Lele down. In the quiet coffee shop, Yu Lele couldn't help but think of her own mother. She remembered her mother going to the seafood market every morning, buying fresh fish and shrimp, washing them clean, and carefully arranging them in the freezer. Every weekend, she eagerly awaited her daughter's return, cooking her a variety of meals, her face filled with happiness and contentment seeing her daughter eat heartily. Lele knew that although she now had Uncle Yu and Yu Tian, she was her mother's most important source of emotional support in the world. She couldn't imagine what would happen to her mother if she went to America.
But what would happen to Xu Chen if she didn't leave?
She knew Xu Chen too well.
She knew that if she hastily proposed breaking up, his intelligence would surely allow him to guess the reasons and story behind their separation. He wouldn't agree; he wasn't one to compromise so easily. He would rather abandon the main road and choose the narrowest, most precarious path, walking it hesitantly.
That was not the future she wanted to see.
Therefore, she could only use this method, using indifference and distance to make Xu Chen realize her "change of heart," using this cruel method to slowly and painfully destroy her love.
It really resembles the Lingchi punishment—the most cruel punishment since the Five Dynasties period, where a thousand cuts are made, slice by slice, leaving you unable to live or die, only to suffer excruciating pain.
All of this is like an old-fashioned romance novel: two people love each other, but someone has to come and negotiate with you, using inducements or pleas to persuade you to let go. Because you love, you will lose whether you give up or not. The only difference is: either you lose your own love, or you lose the future for both of you.
Therefore, most girls in novels would compromise and endure humiliation to choose the former.
She never imagined that one day she would become one of those people who, because she loves you, wants to let you go.
Although no one knows that the pain in my heart is far, far, far greater than you can imagine.
But there's no going back.
Once the arrow is released, there's no turning back—we can't turn back now.
12-1
During winter break, Yang Qian came to visit Yu Lele. Upon seeing Yu Lele for the first time, she was completely startled.
"What happened to you?" she said in a panic, supporting her. Looking at her sunken cheeks, she was incredulous. "How much weight have you lost?"
Yu Lele laughed and shook off her hand: "Stop with the act. I'm not terminally ill, why are you acting like you've seen a patient with a terminal illness?"
She spoke casually, but Yang Qian bit her lip, feeling a pang of heartache: "Neither of you are doing well."
Seeing Yu Lele curled up on the sofa without saying a word, Yang Qian muttered to herself in a huff, "I heard from Kuang Yawei that Xu Chen was hospitalized with appendicitis and had lost a lot of weight. I didn't believe it, but look at you now, you're about the same."
"He's sick?" Yu Lele looked up abruptly, her worry rising uncontrollably, without even a chance to pretend—without a chance to feign in front of others that she didn't love him or care about him anymore.
Yang Qian sighed: "If you can't let go, why are you trying to break up like other people?"