A Wandering Youth

Глава 44

“Okay.” I drawled out my voice.

"Is Chen Yuan coming?" Xiao Xuan's eyes showed a hint of unease. "Then I'll be going now..."

"What's there to be afraid of? He'll find out sooner or later." Although I said that, I was still a little uneasy.

"I don't want to upset him. I'll find a chance to talk to him about it later." Xiaoxuan kissed my cheek. "Promise me you won't tell him, okay?"

I nodded, but actually I didn't have the courage to tell Chen Yuan about it.

Xiaoxuan left, but a faint fragrance still lingered in the room. I tidied up the bedroom and slowly enjoyed the breakfast Xiaoxuan had made by myself.

VII. The Man Who Cuts Off Heads

Chen Yuan's knocking was urgent. I hadn't locked the door when I saw Xiao Xuan off, so I just shouted, "Come in."

Chen Yuan rushed in, and I casually crossed my legs. "Want to have a bowl of porridge?"

Chen Yuan looked at the breakfast on the table with a puzzled expression, then at me. "Did you make this yourself?"

"Of course, I'm so bored every day, I need to take care of myself."

Chen Yuan sat down opposite me, staring at me intently. "You seem to have changed a lot since you came out this time?"

"Yes, I can't remember anything from the past, so it's really hard for me not to change."

I watched Chen Yuan's anxious expression with a cold eye, and I became even more certain that he must know the truth about what happened between me and Xiao Huan.

Why is he so afraid that I'll regain my memories? Is it just because he's afraid I'll be hurt if I do? Is it really true that he has nothing to do with this at all?

Chen Yuan avoided my gaze. "What did Sister Xu say to you?"

"She said I killed Xiao Huan," I said casually, as if the matter had nothing to do with me.

"They even said I ate Xiao Huan's meat, braised pork."

Chen Yuan stared at me, speechless, as if he didn't recognize me.

"You knew all along?"

I nodded.

"Then why are you still so relaxed? You..." Chen Yuan didn't know what to say.

"Why shouldn't I be relaxed? I'm sure I didn't kill Xiao Huan. Only the person who killed Xiao Huan would be afraid."

I squinted and said to Chen Yuan, word by word, "I will definitely avenge Xiao Huan. Whoever killed Xiao Huan will be punished."

I stood by the window, watching Chen Yuan hurriedly walk out of my building. He got into the white van, and I saw him take out his keys and try to start the engine, taking several tries before finally getting it going. Although I couldn't see his hands clearly, I knew they were trembling.

No matter who killed Xiao Huan, I will avenge her, even if it was Chen Yuan.

I know Chen Yuan won't provide me with any clues anymore. I need to think about how to find clues next.

The police and the courts certainly won't provide me, a mentally ill person they consider a murderer, with any information.

I remembered a place, so I quickly got dressed and went out.

I hailed a taxi, and the buildings outside the car window gradually became shorter, then turned into rice paddies, and then into trees, as the car drove onto the mountain road.

The sign for "Yanzishan Mental Hospital" came into view. I asked the driver to wait for me there and then walked into the hospital.

Dean Wang was still smiling at me. "Xiaoming, the reason your illness has been so completely cured is because you've forgotten everything from the past. If you insist on regaining your memories, I'm afraid it will be detrimental to your condition."

"Dean, do you believe I killed my girlfriend and ate her flesh?"

“Well, this…” Dean Wang hesitated for a moment, “This is a matter for the Public Security Bureau; we are only responsible for treating the patients. Logically speaking, the Public Security Bureau shouldn’t be wrong…”

"No!" I shouted, "I absolutely did not kill Xiao Huan! I cannot let her die so unjustly! I must find the murderer!"

"Dean Wang, I beg you, please let me see my admission records. Otherwise, this matter might drive me crazy."

Looking at me, who was weeping uncontrollably, Dean Wang sighed and said, "Come with me."

As dusk approached, I returned to the city, feeling utterly exhausted. I drank a lot of beer at a restaurant and stumbled home, tipsy. Xiao Xuan didn't come today; she was probably on the night shift. I lay down on the bed and immediately fell asleep.

Though we will never see each other again, I will always be by your side. The words I spoke will never change, and we will never be apart...

The familiar melody played again, but this time I didn't see Xiao Huan in her white dress. I only saw a man and a woman walking in a dark stairwell. The woman was clinging tightly to the man's arm; she was wearing a black suit, and her long hair obscured her face. They seemed to have drunk a lot, as they were walking unsteadily. For some reason, the woman suddenly burst into laughter, and the man quickly covered her mouth. I tried desperately to see their faces clearly, but I couldn't make out what they looked like.

Then the scene changed again. I saw a man chopping at a corpse with an axe. The round head was placed to one side. He was chopping at a thigh, and it seemed that the joint was difficult to cut. The man used all his strength, and blood spurted high into the air. He suddenly turned around and looked at me. His face was covered in blood, and his expression was ferocious and terrifying.

I recognized him as Chen Yuan.

VIII. Xiaoxuan's words

"Ring..." I was jolted awake as the phone rang at an inopportune moment.

I angrily picked up the phone.

"Xiao Ming." A gentle voice drifted into my ears.

"Xiao Xuan, why are you calling so late?"

"I'm on the night shift today, and I missed you." Her gentle voice completely calmed my anger.

After hanging up Xiaoxuan's call, I silently returned to bed, recalling the dream I had just had. I couldn't forget Chen Yuan's face.

I remembered the information I had seen at the hospital that afternoon.

According to the information, Chen Yuan was the first to report the case.

He hadn't seen Xiaohuan and me for several days, so he went to both our houses to look for us, but couldn't find us. He also tried calling us, but no one answered. So Chen Yuan reported it to the police. The police found nothing at my house, but at Xiaohuan's house, they discovered a truly horrifying scene.

When the police broke down the door, they first found me in the kitchen. I was sitting there blankly, unable to say a word. Then they found a large amount of human remains and blood in the bedroom. A large amount of meat was cooking in a pot in the kitchen, and a plate of braised pork was on the table. Later tests proved it was all human flesh, belonging to the same person as the remains found in the room. The female corpse's head was also cooking in the pot, but it was unrecognizable due to the time elapsed. Later, based on blood type and fingerprints found in the room, the deceased was identified as Xiao Huan.

I was thinking hazily when I drifted off to sleep.

Daylight broke, and I opened my eyes.

After being woken up by Xiaoxuan's phone call last night, I fell asleep again, but I didn't dream anymore.

There was a knock on the door. I knew it was Xiaoxuan; she had just finished her night shift.

I think I should give her a key to the apartment.

After eating the breakfast Xiaoxuan made, I picked up a newspaper and slowly flipped through it. Xiaoxuan was sleeping quietly on my bed; it seemed the hospital was very busy last night, and she hadn't slept at all.

A tranquil atmosphere filled the room, as if we had been living such a peaceful life for a long time.

I don't remember if I've ever lived like this before; I only know that Xiaoxuan's appearance made me appreciate the value of a peaceful life.

I sat in the recliner and slowly drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up, Xiaoxuan was tidying up the room. I suddenly had an impulse to tell Xiaoxuan all my troubles.

Xiao Xuan listened quietly to what I had to say.

"Xiao Xuan, do you think I'll really eat Xiao Huan's flesh?" I asked, voicing my greatest fear.

Xiao Xuan showed no fear. "Do you love Xiao Huan very much?"

"I don't know, it must be love. I can't remember anything."

"It's a kind of happiness for Xiao Huan to be eaten by you," Xiao Xuan said slowly, and I suddenly felt a chill.

"At least you're together, and no one can separate you."

Xiaoxuan gazed into my eyes, her eyes so clear yet so deep, "Xiaoming, do you love me?"

I nodded vigorously. I knew I loved Xiaoxuan. Although our acquaintance was so brief, in my heart, Xiaoxuan seemed like a shadow that had always existed. She was the one I had been waiting for. With just the slightest hint, I would find her in this vast sea of people. I knew she was the one I was waiting for. I think Xiaoxuan felt the same way. The person she had been waiting for for over twenty years was me, and definitely not Chen Yuan.

Xiaoxuan slowly walked up to me and gently rested her head on my chest.

"If I die, I'd rather be eaten by you." Xiao Xuan's words were deliberate and her voice was elusive, as if they came from every corner in all directions.

"Because if you eat my flesh, we can never be separated."

Though we will never see each other again, I will always be by your side. The words I spoke will never change, and we will never be apart...

As the familiar melody began, Xiaoxuan's words echoed rhythmically throughout the room.

"Okay, it's a deal." I thought I should ease the tension, so I smiled and pinched Xiaoxuan's nose. "I'll eat you right now..."

Xiao Xuan was smiling, but I knew for sure that she wasn't joking.

Night was falling, and Xiaoxuan and I weaved through the bustling crowd. With Xiaoxuan around, I felt as if I had become part of the endless flow of people; the city no longer seemed irrelevant to me.

Xiaoxuan linked arms with mine, oblivious to the crowd around them; she only had eyes for me.

My eyes were also on Xiaoxuan, but my senses were incredibly sharp.

I knew that a white van was following us closely not far behind. In the occasional glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye, I could see Chen Yuan's eyes appearing and disappearing behind the van window.

Xiaoxuan's radiant smile, the bustling crowds on the street, the flashing neon lights in front of her, and the prying eyes behind her.

The hospital gates are in front of us.

Xiao Xuan's figure disappeared through the gate, and I savored the memory of her charming glance back.

I turned around and disappeared into the crowd.

IX. Triangular Relationships

Twenty minutes later, I returned to the hospital gate.

In the darkness of night, my eyes shone brightly, and my steps were brisk.

On the stairs, I moved as lightly as a swallow, making no sound.

The duty room was on the 6th floor, directly opposite the stairs. I stood on the landing between the 5th and 6th floors and saw the person I had expected.

Chen Yuan was indeed there. I couldn't hear what he was saying, only his deliberately lowered tone and rapid whispers. Xiao Xuan rarely spoke, only occasionally replying with a word or two.

I quietly continued to approach, bent down, and pressed myself against the wall to the window of the duty room, when I heard a loud shout: "I should have known, you never loved me..."

With a bang, the door slammed shut, and Chen Yuan rushed out.

I slowly straightened up, and Chen Yuan's eyes were fixed on me.

I looked at Chen Yuan; his face was filled with sorrow and grief, and the pain in his eyes was unmistakable.

He looked me straight in the eye, then started to look away, his gaze slowly shifting to the empty wall.

I suddenly felt something was off; Chen Yuan's expression puzzled me. I was the one who stole his lover, so why was he afraid of me?

I noticed something was missing in his eyes.

What expression should a man have when facing his lover after his lover has been stolen?