"We're old classmates, this little favor is nothing to mention. Don't worry about it."
"I'm still very grateful to you."
"Hehe, besides thank you, can you say something else?"
"Uh..." Ruolin then realized that she was the one who was speechless in front of him. She didn't know what else to say besides thanking him.
"By the way, tomorrow is the 60th anniversary of No. 1 High School. Are you going?" Mu Jingyan asked seemingly casually, but a hint of anticipation could be heard in his voice. No. 1 High School was their alma mater, the campus where he and she had spent three years together.
“Oh, a lot of old classmates will be there tomorrow. It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other, we can catch up.” Mu Jingyan added, seeing Ruolin’s hesitant expression.
"If nothing unexpected happens tomorrow, I'll go." Ruolin thought about it and agreed. Since graduating from high school, they'd had so few opportunities to see each other, and she really missed some of her old classmates. Plus, it was the rare 60th anniversary of the school, so visiting her alma mater wouldn't be a bad idea.
"It's a deal then. See you there. If you don't change your mind, I'll be waiting for you at the school gate at 10 a.m. tomorrow," Mu Jingyan said.
Ruolin nodded with a smile.
The next day, after making arrangements at her mother's place, Ruolin took a bus directly to No. 1 Middle School.
After getting off the bus, Ruolin saw Mu Jingyan standing at the entrance of No. 1 Middle School from afar.
The morning sunlight bathed him, making his black hair seem to be gilded with a light gold.
It was as if time had never passed, as if he were still the boy she loved most in the past.
Ruolin slowly walked towards him, feeling as if she were walking back to her teenage years, into a dream.
"You've come." Mu Jingyan's words shattered Ruolin's dream.
"Hmm. You're here so early."
"I just arrived too. Let's go inside."
The two walked side by side into the familiar high school campus.
"Shen Ruolin!" A loud and clear voice suddenly rang out, and then Ruolin was struck on the shoulder.
Without even seeing the person in person, Ruolin could guess with her toes who was the one extending the devil's claws. Who else could it be but her best friend from high school, Tian Jing?
"Tian Jing, you're still the same as always, even your greetings are so unique." Ruolin turned her head.
It was indeed Tian Jing. She hadn't changed much since high school; she still had short hair, and her dimples were faintly visible when she smiled, making her look very sweet. However, she was a typical "misleading" person; she was anything but quiet.
"Hey, isn't this our class's handsome Mu? What brings you here?" Tian Jing was a little surprised to see Mu Jingyan next to Ruolin. In her memory, Mu Jingyan was somewhat aloof, not very sociable, and rarely participated in activities like class reunions.
"I just happened to be back to take care of some business, and it also happened to coincide with the school's 60th anniversary celebration..."
"Don't explain, I already know the reason." Before Mu Jingyan could finish speaking, Tian Jing interrupted, "Ruolin is working in D City now, and I heard you also applied to transfer to D City. Isn't the reason obvious?" After saying that, Tian Jing gave Ruolin a meaningful smile, implying, "When did you two start? You're pretty fast."
Ruolin knew that Tian Jing must have misunderstood, and with Mu Jingyan around, she couldn't say anything to Tian Jing, so she could only smile and pretend to be silent.
"I won't disturb you two reliving your school days any longer. Ruolin, let's get together again later." Tian Jing naturally didn't want to be a third wheel, so she quickly said goodbye to Ruolin.
"Tian Jing..." Ruolin still felt a little awkward.
"What?" Tian Jing had already walked a few steps away when she turned back and looked at Ruolin.
“It’s not what you think anyway,” Ruolin whispered to her as she walked over.
"No need to explain. You two really are 'birds of a feather flock together.' You both love making excuses. If you like someone, just say so, why beat around the bush and say so much nonsense? They say good things shouldn't go to outsiders, but our class's most handsome guy ended up with you. Honestly, I'm really happy for you."
"You've really misunderstood. There's really nothing between him and me," Ruolin said, trying her best to defend herself.
"I don't care if he's steamed or boiled, you'll only be worthy of being called my best friend if you win him over. Okay, I won't waste your time anymore. Go and pursue true love!" Tian Jing whispered in Ruolin's ear.
Watching Tian Jing's receding figure, Ruolin couldn't help but recall some past times.
Ruolin remembered how Tian Jing used to tease her, saying she liked someone but didn't dare admit it. She really was like that back then; she thought no one knew her meticulous thoughts, but Tian Jing, with her sharp eyes, still noticed some of her subtle expressions and emotions, which she vehemently denied. Only in this way could she feel that this was a secret belonging only to her, hidden deep in her heart, to be tasted alone, whether bitter or sweet.
Back then, she would always get up very early and go to the school's long corridor to study. There was a small river in front of the corridor, and many weeping willows were planted along its banks. Especially in spring, when the wind blew gently, the weeping willows on the bank swayed slightly, creating a beautiful scene. However, in Ruolin's opinion, the most beautiful sight was Mu Jingyan sitting in a corner of the corridor, diligently reading aloud in the morning.
She would always pretend to be very focused while studying, but her thoughts would unconsciously drift to Mu Jingyan, and she would unconsciously glance up at him furtively in the distance. She didn't dare sit too close to him, afraid he would notice. Fortunately, the diligent Mu Jingyan was only focused on his studies and didn't notice that a girl had been silently watching him every day, regardless of the sweltering summer or the freezing winter, always sitting in an inconspicuous spot. She would worry if he caught a cold when she saw him sneeze, and if his hands were red from the cold, she would worry if he got frostbite…
They were in the same class. Ruolin sat at the front of the classroom, while Mu Jingyan, who was already taller than the average boy, was assigned to sit at the back.
During breaks between classes, Ruolin would turn around to talk to the person behind her, while casually glancing at Mu Jingyan out of the corner of her eye. Unlike other boys who liked to go out and play, Mu Jingyan mostly stayed at his seat quietly doing his homework. Sometimes his brows would furrow slightly, sometimes they would relax, probably solving a difficult problem and then conquering it. Ruolin would just stare at the various subtle expressions on his handsome face, seemingly immersed in his world. Sometimes she couldn't help but want to go up and talk to him, but she knew that was absolutely impossible.
Mu Jingyan excelled academically in their class, a top student in the teachers' eyes, while Ruolin's grades were average, and due to her family's financial situation, she even felt somewhat inferior. She remembered that many girls liked him back then and wrote him love letters. She had been jealous, but she never had the courage to write back. She knew her world was too barren; she didn't have enough resources to pursue this kind of love. She could only watch him silently.
Sometimes, she felt that seeing him every day was a kind of happiness.
She had thought about stopping looking up to him and starting on the same footing as him, but after all her efforts came to nothing, she gave up the last glimmer of hope in her heart.
He was destined to be a handsome and outstanding student; while she was just an ordinary girl who was often silent and somewhat insecure.
She felt that his world was so far away from her, as if separated by the distance of heaven, and she could never reach it. Even if she stood on tiptoe, all she could touch was a drifting cloud. In the end, her unrequited love was nothing but an illusion.
Even so, the feelings that had grown in her heart did not diminish in the slightest. She still paid attention to him and even wrote in her diary for him every day.
That thick diary was filled with his words—his subtle expressions when he spoke, his unintentional gestures, his voice, his smile… Ruolin didn't miss a single detail. Every word in the diary was imbued with her warm feelings for him. She wrote down many things she wanted to say but never did, and reading them the next day still brought her sweetness.
Although she didn't know what love was at that time, she experienced the sweetness of missing someone, and even though it was a little bittersweet, she still enjoyed it.
Chapter Twenty-Four
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Ruolin forced herself to pull herself out of her memories, turned to look at Mu Jingyan standing next to her, and couldn't help but smile.
She truly didn't understand how, as her experience grew, those beautiful memories gradually faded away, until they were swept away by the vastness of time.
Those subtle flutters of the heart are all in the past, those silent gazes have become sweet memories. Now, looking at him so closely beside her, she no longer feels the same longing as yesterday.
Perhaps it's not that they deliberately forgot, but rather that with the passage of time, even the most beautiful feelings will quietly fade away.
Mu Jingyan didn't understand what she was laughing about, so he asked, "Is something making you happy?"
"Huh?" Ruolin seemed a little dazed before she came to her senses and smiled slightly, "It's nothing."
Even if there was something, it's a past that doesn't need to be spoken of.
"What are your feelings about returning to school?" Mu Jingyan asked.
"It reminded me of many things from the past, but everything has changed." Ruolin said sadly as she looked at the students walking by.
"I remember you used to be so quiet. We were in the same class, and I don't think we ever really spoke a word to each other." Mu Jingyan recalled those days. Although he only knew how to bury himself in his books all day, he would always hear other boys talking about the girls in the class when he returned to the dormitory. Occasionally, he would overhear a few words, and when they talked about Ruolin, he would always unconsciously prick up his ears to listen. It was simply because he had the deepest impression of her in the class. He thought she was exceptionally beautiful and always quiet, with an ethereal and otherworldly appearance. However, he never noticed the strange look that Ruolin cast at him.
"It's not that I don't want to talk to you, it's just that you don't seem to have spoken to any of the girls in our class," Ruolin said.
"Yeah, looking back now, I was such a quiet person back then. Did you guys think I was a bookworm?" Mu Jingyan valued his studies above all else back then because he failed his high school entrance exam, his score wasn't high enough for the direct admission to the top high school, and he had to pay a lot of extra money. He couldn't swallow this bitter pill. He didn't think he was any worse than others, so he studied hard and dared not slack off in the slightest. As a result, he went from being fifth from the bottom when he first entered the class to being among the top five.
"You're not just an ordinary bookworm, you're practically inhuman! You don't even give yourself a moment to play," Ruolin said, feigning exaggeration.
“Then I’ve dedicated my youth to books. I feel like I’ve made too much of a sacrifice.” Mu Jingyan pursed his lips, a half-smile on his face. “If I had to choose again…” He paused, as if thinking, and after a long while, said, “I would still dedicate myself to books.”
Ruolin thought he would say he would no longer dedicate himself to books, but she couldn't help but laugh at his words, saying, "Is it because books have made you who you are today that you are so grateful to them?"
"..." Mu Jingyan nodded, a hint of a smile flashing in his bright eyes.
Before they knew it, they had arrived at the meeting place where the classmates had agreed to meet—the doorway of their old classroom.
However, the other classmates were not as gossipy as Tian Jing, or rather, the other classmates did not know that Ruolin had a crush on Mu Jingyan, so they were not surprised to see the two of them walking over together, and just assumed that they had bumped into each other on campus.
Everyone gathered together and chatted about their recent lives. Seeing that her classmates who stayed in City B were all doing quite well, Ruolin wondered for a moment if she would end up like them if she returned to her hometown after graduation.
However, she will never regret her decision. No matter what the future holds, she will give herself enough time to prove her worth and realize her dreams.
At noon, the students chose to have lunch in the school cafeteria, reliving their student days.
After dinner, everyone basically split into small groups and were free to do their own thing.
Finally, Ruolin realized that only she and Mu Jingyan were left. They smiled at each other and decided to wander around the campus.
Aside from the arts performance, the school anniversary celebration mainly consisted of the principal giving a talk in the public audience about the school's history over the years, and a few successful alumni giving presentations—not particularly significant. However, the evening fireworks display, which is said to be quite grand, is definitely worth looking forward to.
The exciting moment finally arrived. Fireworks suddenly rose, blooming into a beautiful cluster against the black velvet sky, like a magnificent flower in full bloom, dazzling and radiant.
There were many people cheering around, creating a lively atmosphere. Although it was summer, Ruolin felt like it was Chinese New Year.
Counting stars and watching fireworks with her beloved was Ruolin's cherished dream, one that had never come true. As she turned to look at Mu Jingyan, his face illuminated by the fireworks, a strange feeling stirred within her. His face looked incredibly handsome, like a sculpture, silent yet seemingly radiant, almost blinding.
She thought her heart would never skip a beat for him again, but in that instant, she felt a long-lost flutter in her heart. However, it felt as if a vast amount of time had passed, like a lifetime had gone by.
The first person to accompany her to watch the fireworks was actually him—the man she had once been infatuated with.
She used to fantasize that if one day he could watch fireworks with her, she would marry him, treat him well for the rest of her life, and stay with him until old age. But she never imagined that one day, when he really did watch fireworks with her, her feelings would be completely different from when she had fantasized.
What she once called a lifetime was just Ruolin's most beautiful fantasy, blooming like a beautiful flower in her memory. Reality, however, told her that the person was just a dream in her memory, destined to vanish.
She could only look up at him from beginning to end. Even now that he was right beside her, she felt so far away, as if there was a distance between two hearts.
Another firework burst into dazzling light in the darkness, instantly illuminating the sky as if it were daytime.
Ruolin couldn't help but turn to look at Mu Jingyan again. His face was bathed in the beautiful glow of the fireworks, so vivid and captivating. Mu Jingyan suddenly turned his head as well, and their eyes met unexpectedly. His eyes were exceptionally bright, containing a hint of a smile that slowly grew, enveloping Ruolin like a spreading creature. Ruolin remained stunned for a long time before she withdrew her dazed gaze. Then, she composed herself and continued watching the fireworks blooming in the sky. The fireworks were so beautiful, rising one after another, but they were ultimately destined to scatter. They released their beauty to the fullest in the sky, but after a moment, they would still wither, scatter, and disappear until they vanished.
Ruolin knew that the feelings buried in her heart were nothing more than the most beautiful fireworks, blooming in her innocent youth and then fading away with the passage of time. And the person beside her was merely a passerby in her life, not the one who loved her.
In this moment, she felt a stirring of attraction for him again, though she knew it was all just her illusion. Illusions may be beautiful, but they often create false impressions.
Ruolin watched a couple embracing sweetly ahead, their smiles undoubtedly more beautiful than fireworks. She too longed for such a sweet relationship. But then, thinking of her own life, of her mother's illness, her heart began to ache. Girls her age were enjoying the warmth of love, while she was still struggling to make ends meet.
However, she doesn't blame anyone or the unfairness of fate. She silently accepts the facts and tries her best to change her situation.
Chapter Twenty-Five
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After watching the fireworks, it was getting late. Mu Jingyan offered to take Ruolin home, but she politely declined.
"Then I'll help you flag down a taxi." With that, Mu Jingyan reached out to flag down a taxi.
"No need. I'll go straight to the hospital later; taking the bus is quite convenient," Ruolin quickly said. Now is the time when money is most tight, so it's best to save wherever possible.
For some reason, Mu Jingyan's words just now suddenly reminded Ruolin of the scene when she first met Han Haoxuan. That night, he also wanted to take her home, but she refused, so he said, "Then I'll help you hail a cab."
Ruolin shook her head, trying to brush away the memories related to Han Haoxuan.
"What's wrong? Are you tired?" Mu Jingyan noticed the change in Ruolin's expression and asked with concern.
"Oh, it's nothing," Ruolin said with a smile.
"I'll walk you to the bus stop; I'm going to catch the bus home from there anyway." Actually, he was going in the opposite direction from her.
"Okay." If he was just passing by, it would be a bit awkward for her to refuse again, so she might as well accept his kindness.