Un joven errante

Capítulo 22

Still dazed, I heard the sound of me getting up, and all the maids who had been waiting outside rushed in. Having just woken up, my mind was still in a state of primordial chaos, completely blank, and I felt like a puppet, letting them manipulate me. During this time, I heard many palace maids offering their obsequious congratulations.

Congratulations, Your Majesty! The Emperor dotes on you so much! He not only stayed with you all night until the morning court session, but also ordered us not to wake you. He just issued an edict to bestow upon you the title of Jieyu…

I smiled faintly, inwardly wanting to yawn impolitely. As I tidied myself and turned to leave, a glaring red stain appeared on the pristine white sheets. I felt as if it were all just a dream, a dream from which I could wake and return to my normal life. But why did this dream feel so real?

The news of my favor spread quickly throughout the harem, and gifts from everyone kept appearing in Qin Wenxuan's residence. I felt nothing but disgust and became physically and mentally exhausted, as if it were all just yesterday.

She decisively feigned illness and closed her doors to visitors, not even having time to consider Wuya's reaction. The mere thought of being drawn into the palace intrigue sent chills down her spine. It wasn't fear of what she would face, but rather the inability to become the kind of woman who would abandon her true self for a man, becoming resentful and even ruthless for meager favors. That was unforgivable to her, and something her true love, Sima, would never want to see.

I hid under the covers, curling up like a baby when I was scared as a child, wrapping myself tightly, and drifted off to sleep. But in my dreams, one after another, I was filled with cold sweat and unbearable pain. Brother Sima, why did you drive me to such a wretched state?

I woke up from the nightmare in a daze and saw Sima Rui looking at me with a worried expression. I was startled by the face that suddenly appeared in front of me and didn't have time to calm down.

The person in front of her suddenly spoke, "Yingying, are you alright? Lie down properly, the imperial physician will be here soon." "Yingying"?! When did they become so affectionate!

I quickly sat up. Sure enough, in this strange place, even feigning illness wouldn't work. "No need, Your Majesty, I was just having a nightmare. I'm fine now that I'm awake. There's no need to trouble the imperial physicians." Those old men in the imperial physicians are already suffering enough. They have to be summoned by the women of the harem for every little thing. They're pitiful enough. I'm too embarrassed to trouble them.

Seeing that I was alright, Sima Rui couldn't help but smile: "I thought last night—" The ambiguity in his tone made my cheeks feel like they were on fire.

"No, no—" I hurriedly retorted, but thinking of the shameful events of last night, I stammered, "Your Majesty, Your Majesty, I just have a bit of a headache."

"It's good that you're alright," he said, his eyes filled with concern that made me feel somewhat immersed in his affection. "Then, my beloved concubine, prepare to serve me tonight." After saying that, he gently helped her lie down again, tapped the tip of her nose, and whispered, "Rest well." Then he left.

Sima Rui, who left with a smile on his face, did not see that the person behind him had tears streaming down her face as he left.

Brother Sima, the more tender you are to this body that resembles An Jin, the more you hurt me. You can easily fall in love with so many women, and treat any woman with such care. Then, were those years spent with An Jin all a lie?!

Did you really only become sworn brothers with An Jin, the beautiful sister, in the name of the emperor?! Was it true affection or pretense?!

If we cherish each other, I will choose to leave. This is the best test and destiny that Heaven has given us...

If we cherish each other—

I finally burst into tears.

Volume 2, Chapter 39: Who's Crying?

"Sister, sister didn't lie to Ya Ya, right?" Yu Ya looked at me with a heartbroken expression. Her eyes seemed to have returned to the way they were when we first met a few years ago—expectant yet wary! Damn it, she was wary!

I fiddled with the pen in my hand and continued working on my piece, my expression seemingly unaffected.

After a long while, I got up and asked Yunying to tidy up the design sketches I had finished. Then, I took off the gray jacket that I had specially put on to avoid getting my clothes dirty while drawing and handed it to Xiao Quanzi, who had been waiting beside me.

I turned around and asked casually, "And what about you? Do you think I'm using you?"

Her eyes darted away, and she mumbled, "Of course I don't believe it. How could my sister possibly use Ya Ya?"

"That settles it then," I concluded.

"But—but Your Majesty—" she asked cautiously, observing my expression, worried that I was angry.

I sighed, pulled her down to sit, and said earnestly, "It was purely accidental that the Emperor noticed me. But don't worry, it won't be long before I return to my old life, or perhaps it will be even quieter." I assured her, telling her to put her mind at ease.

I know that those jealous concubines have been spreading rumors lately. If they hadn't gone too far, Ya Ya wouldn't have been able to resist coming to me today to ask for confirmation. Judging from her haggard appearance, she must have been speculating about it for a long time, but she didn't dare to come to Jiu Nian Xuan to find me.

For the past month, the Emperor has showered me with almost exclusive favor. At first, he would have me serve him in his bedchamber, but eventually, he started spending every night at Jiu Nian Xuan. If I hadn't insisted on not moving, he would have surely made me move out of Jiu Nian Xuan and given me a new bedchamber. Suddenly, the Xie Meiren, who had been the subject of everyone's gossip, was brought up again—no, no longer a Meiren, but a Jieyu. I became the darling of the palace once more, a situation I found utterly helpless. But the one who started this whole mess acted as if nothing had happened, spending every day after court in Jiu Nian Xuan, playing chess with me, chatting, and even spending all his time there, enjoying the food I cooked. When he first learned that I prepared my own meals, he was so furious he practically tore down the entire harem, but seeing that I enjoyed cooking and having occasionally tasted my food, he gave in to my whims.

In fact, most of the time he just stares at me blankly, as if I am not him and he is looking at another person through me. Several times at night I woke up in the middle of the night and saw him not sleeping in the middle of the night, propping himself up and staring at me blankly.

Was all this caused by that damned eunuch?! I remember the next day I summoned him and slapped him hard across the face. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth, but he still respectfully said, "Doing this is for the best for the young master."

The old fox's expression didn't change at all. I just coldly warned him, "If you think I'm still that sheltered, bullied fourth young lady of the Xie family, you're wrong." I moved closer to him and whispered in his ear like a ghost, "Trying to scheme against me? Unless I'm willing, you'll see the price of trying to do something to me. And I guarantee you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

His face turned pale. I just told him to get lost and sat there in a daze. This bloodthirsty, cold-blooded, ruthless side of me is the real me, isn't it? What I just said was absolutely not a joke.

"Sister, I believe you. I won't overthink things anymore. I'm leaving now, sister." After receiving my assurance, Ya Ya finally felt relieved and returned to her usual smiling face, leaving happily.

I know her fear stems from the rumors spread by the women in the harem. They say that I pretend to be sick and avoid people, but I've been using Yu Ya as a stepping stone to gain the Emperor's favor. These women, with nothing better to do, really have vivid imaginations.

However, since Ya Ya was willing to come to me for confirmation, it means that she still trusts me as her older sister.

However, these aren't the issues I need to settle now. There's someone else I need to make things clear with. Otherwise, I won't have peace of mind!

The quiet night was somewhat eerie. Especially tonight at Jiu Nian Xuan, Xiao Quanzi looked at his master, who was sitting leisurely in a high seat drinking tea, and Sister Yunying, who was kneeling on the ground, her face pale and her body trembling.

Xiao Quanzi was about to step forward and say something to plead for Sister Yun, but his master gave him a cold look that made him freeze in place, as if he couldn't move.

After almost an hour of this, the mistress finally spoke, but her voice was still chillingly cold: "I don't want to beat around the bush, just tell me directly, who is your master?" She looked at the person kneeling on the ground who had followed her for so long, and continued, "I don't want to hear a single lie." Thinking of all these years of relying on each other, the feeling of betrayal made her heart ache.

"Miss, I'm so sorry, so sorry." Yunying looked at her icy mistress, feeling guilty and speechless. She felt a pang of sorrow, and tears inexplicably streamed down her face. Her mistress was never like this before. She had always been like the winter sun, warming her heart and making her willing to give up everything to follow her side wholeheartedly!

"Still unwilling to talk?" The voice remained cold.

"It is Yunying who has wronged Miss. If Miss does not forgive Yunying, Yunying is willing to die to atone for her sins." As she spoke, she struck her own face with a palm strike. The wind from the palm strike was fierce, revealing that she knew martial arts!

How much of herself had she been hiding? But I didn't have time to delve into it. I flicked my teacup, striking her wrist to stop her suicide attempt. I finally sighed, my voice lowering, no longer feigning coldness: "Why are you doing this? I didn't mean to punish you." I stood up and went to help Yunying, who was kneeling on the ground, to her feet. Tonight, I deliberately feigned illness to refuse the Emperor's invitation to sleep with me. The Emperor's repeated summons had already caused turmoil in the harem, so he had tacitly agreed.

Yunying sobbed uncontrollably, but still stubbornly knelt on the ground and kowtowed heavily to me. Looking at me with a firm gaze, she said, "Yunying swears that since Miss woke up after being injured, she has been extremely kind to Yunying. Yunying has never done anything to betray Miss."

"Then why—" I wanted to ask, why did you reveal my whereabouts to Chief Steward Gao several times, and why did I have several chance encounters with the Emperor, once in Miya and once in the pear blossom forest? Fortunately, the lighting was dim in Miya that day, and I had disguised myself to some extent, so he did not realize that I was Xie Weiying.

"This is the only time I've ever listened to the master." I clenched my fist. He really is the patriarch! I've always found it strange that the patriarch knows everything about me, yet the only person I've ever been close to is Yunying. I didn't want to doubt her, but after entering the palace—

Yunying wiped away her tears: "I am actually someone who was trained by the master specifically for Miss. The master had Yunying stay by Miss's side for two reasons: first, to protect Miss, and second, to—" Yunying paused, and I snorted, naturally to monitor me.

She continued, "Secondly, it was to tell him everything about Miss. Because of my carelessness, Miss fell into the pond, and Yunying has always felt guilty about it. Although Miss was timid when she was young, she was kind-hearted and always depended on Yunying for survival. Fortunately, Miss survived. Although Miss has forgotten everything, she has become strong, and Yunying has always been happy for her. Since Miss woke up, I haven't told Master anything about Miss. Until before entering the palace, Master came to Qulan Garden while Miss was out. When he saw the renovated Qulan Garden, Master was first amazed, and then he murmured to himself, 'At the family banquet, I knew that Ying'er was definitely special.' Then he casually asked about Miss's daily life and left without saying anything. I thought nothing would happen, but soon after, Master summoned Miss to the palace."

Yunying suddenly looked up at me, her expression one of reverence, and said, “Yunying remembers that before entering the palace, Master once told me that someone like Miss is destined to wield immense power. But after entering the palace, Miss had no interest in vying for the Emperor's favor, so I took it upon myself to speak to Chief Eunuch Gao. Yunying thought it was for Miss's own good, but Miss wasn't happy at all. Miss, Yunying was wrong. You can punish me however you like, but please don't send Yunying away. Yunying will serve by Miss's side for the rest of her life.”

So, my entry into the palace was probably just a premeditated scheme by the patriarch. He must have known all along that I owed Chen Ningyuan, so he set a trap for me to willingly fall into. Even if I knew it was a trap, I probably would have chosen the same path anyway! After all, I genuinely hoped that my second sister and Chen Ningyuan could be together. I know Yunying is telling the truth. All these years, if she really wanted to harm me, she could have done it long ago. Why wait until now, that silly girl!

I glanced at Yunying indifferently, my eyes filled with a fog, and said, "Do you really want me to forgive you? Then, you only need to do one thing for me, and I will forgive you."

Yunying lowered her head and said firmly, "Even if it means my death, I will have no complaints."

I suddenly sneered, my gaze empty, and said, "Yunying, do you know that in this harem, only the Cold Palace is the safest place, where you can live out the rest of your life in peace and live to old age?"

I wearily waved my hand at Xiao Quanzi, who was standing there dumbfounded: "Xiao Quanzi, you can leave now."

The next day, I got up early and went out with Yunying to visit Consort Xie, my aunt, at Pingyi Palace in the south. But at that moment, I think she wanted to see me more than I did.

My aunt is always hoping I can help her ascend to the throne. How could I let her down?

Pingyi Palace.

The lush greenery along the way resembled a secluded flower path, so simple and unpretentious, reminiscent of the Xie family mansion. However, there was an added touch of melancholy; was it because the emperor hadn't visited in a long time, thus lacking warmth and human presence? I never knew my proud and domineering aunt would decorate her palace so modestly, or was it because the emperor liked it…?

Eunuchs were already waiting at the door. When they saw Yunying and me, they led us in directly, and respectfully said, "Your Highness, the lady has been waiting in the hall for a long time. This way, please." Their heads were bowed the whole time, so I couldn't see them.

"You've arrived." The person sitting in the main seat...

"Yes, Aunt. How have you been these past few years, Aunt? Father has been asking about you ever since I entered the palace." I said respectfully, bowing my head.

"Really?" Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed her nails were painted blue. Like her face, they always had a cold and somber feel to them. She seemed very calm, as if she had expected everything.

"You may all leave now." The aunt glanced indifferently at the surrounding palace maids and eunuchs, who all bowed and left. Even Yunying didn't stay behind.

She glanced at me with a seemingly gentle expression and said, "I won't beat around the bush. I suppose your brother has already told you why you came to the palace."

"Yes, Father said so."

"Then do you know what you're going to do?"

"Ying'er has been here for so long, but she's been unwell the whole time and hasn't been able to help her aunt much. She's even caused her aunt so much worry. Ying'er is truly—" I choked up and broke down in tears at the end. I'd pretended to be sincere enough, hadn't I?

"Auntie doesn't blame you for what happened before, and Auntie also made mistakes. You must take good care of your health. We, aunt and niece, should love each other and visit each other often in this deep palace." If it weren't for the fact that there was no emotion in her eyes, I would almost have been moved by her sorrow and concern for me. Unfortunately, those eyes couldn't lie to me.

However, I still cooperated by crying softly and hugging Consort De, who had gotten up and come over to embrace me.

"I understand, Auntie," I replied obediently, presenting the image of a demure and gentle young lady.

This woman is not as demure and virtuous as she appears.

I'm reminded of a man's lament I once saw: "The imperial harem is truly a woman's domain. Men here can never fathom the true thoughts of women. That's why they say a woman's heart is like a needle at the bottom of the sea."

Volume 2, Chapter 40: Betrayal

"The Emperor probably only took a liking to her because of her pitiful appearance. Her looks are certainly superb, but that timid and submissive nature of hers, humph, is utterly useless. I really don't know what that old fox wanted to bring such a girl into the palace for." Consort De clearly didn't take the respectful and obedient Wei Ying seriously at all.

The man who had been waiting to the side frowned slightly. "Your Majesty, that woman may not be as simple as she seems."

"What's wrong? Tell me about it," Consort De said dismissively. From the very beginning of the imperial concubine selection, she had paid some attention to the girl this old man had chosen for the palace. However, Xie Weiying seemed to be born unfit for the harem. She fell ill during the most important selection and remained sick ever since, unable to offer any help. She hadn't gained the Emperor's favor even after being in the palace for so long. Only recently did rumors spread that the Emperor had taken a liking to her, but in Consort De's eyes, this sudden favor was just a fleeting novelty, like that of the other beautiful women in the harem. Looking at her sickly appearance, she was utterly useless. Although she might regret her judgment later, for now, she didn't take this niece seriously at all.

“That old man wouldn’t just send some clueless little girl into the palace to deal with us,” the man continued. “Besides, that fourth young lady looks familiar, like I’ve seen her somewhere before…” The man also seemed to find this sense of familiarity strange, but couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

"Hmph," Consort De sneered disdainfully, "Without me as his backer, do you think he'll still have a place in the court? In the end, he still considers the Xie family's interests everything. He won't easily give me up."

Seeing her displeasure, the man hesitated, wanting to speak but holding back. Yet, he still felt uneasy. Why did Xie Weiying seem so familiar, as if he had known her for a long time? Strange, why this illusion? An illusion, the man reassured himself.

Seeing that the man remained silent for a long time, his expression constantly changing, Consort De felt inexplicably uncomfortable. "Hmph," she sneered disdainfully, "I think you've fallen for the beauty."

The man composed himself and chuckled, "How could I be? You're jealous over that." He was completely devoid of his previous seriousness and humility. "You know in your heart, I only love you." Though he said nothing more, a glint of murderous intent flashed in his eyes; this woman could not be allowed to live.

Upon hearing his words, Consort De's pale face flushed red, like a young girl meeting her lover for the first time, and she said coquettishly, "You're so annoying."

The man laughed heartily, stepped forward, and embraced her slender frame. A hint of tenderness flickered in his eyes; he knew she had suffered so much over the years. Consort De giggled shyly in his arms, but didn't struggle, nestling affectionately against his broad chest.

No one can prevent her from becoming empress. The man thought bitterly to himself.

"Not bad, not bad," I nodded in satisfaction. I tried it myself, and it really was almost indistinguishable from a modern guitar. The artisans in the palace are truly skillful. Because Xiao Quanzi likes my singing, it piqued my interest. Originally, I just drew a modern guitar design for him to see if any imperial craftsmen could make it based on the design, without any expectations. But to my surprise, it was finished in less than seven days, and it was so exquisite and beautiful. To be honest, I was really happy.

"By the way," I looked up and asked Xiao Quanzi, whose face was flushed with excitement, "how did you guys do that?"

Xiao Quanzi blushed with embarrassment (actually, it didn't make much difference to his already red face), and bowed his head respectfully, saying, "The imperial craftsmen all say that although the picture you drew is a bit strange, it is generally similar to a pipa, so all we need to do is work on changing the strings."

“Really?” I laughed happily. “You should thank them for me. Also, have Yunying give them some jewelry as a reward. They worked hard for my guitar.”

"Yes. I understand. Master—" Xiao Quanzi looked at me expectantly, but hesitated to speak.

"Hehe," I looked at him with amusement, "What, you want to hear it so soon?"

He still looked at me expectantly, "Is it okay...?"

I nodded, struck a cool, exaggerated pose, hugged the guitar, familiarized my fingers with it, tuned a few notes, and then lazily began to sing:

What was seen went out

The disappeared ones were remembered.

I stand at the edge of the sea.

Hearing the soil sprout

Waiting for the epiphyllum to bloom again

Leave fragrance to the years

There is no lighthouse on the other side.