Un joven errante

Capítulo 58

There's a saying that goes, "Loneliness is a person's revelry, and revelry is a group's loneliness." The singer who said this had a captivating voice. Loneliness flowed like the wind.

Suddenly, the door was flung open with a thud.

I heard a noise and turned around in surprise, only to find that Little White in my arms had already jumped out of the window and disappeared into the dark night.

Sima Rui? What's he doing here so late?

He suddenly grinned at me as he entered, and a pungent smell of alcohol wafted up from him. Good heavens, how much had he drunk to get this drunk? He stood there, his brows slightly furrowed, his nose high and straight. He was unsteady on his feet due to the alcohol, but he still staggered over.

Before I could dodge, he came over and hugged me tightly. He was drinking Hundred Flowers Plum Wine; perhaps he developed this habit because I loved it. Besides the strong smell of wine, he also had a light floral fragrance, like the faint sweetness of a babbling brook in summer.

My body stiffened for a moment, and then I instinctively began to resist.

But I underestimated his strength. Even though he was drunk, he still held me tightly, refusing to let go even a little. I was about to use a pressure point to knock him unconscious when, unexpectedly, he buried his head between my collarbones and murmured, "Xiao Jin, Xiao Jin, why, why won't you love me? Why are you hiding from me? Why..." A warm sensation spread across my neck.

Are those tears?

Tears belonging to emperors?

I forgot to struggle, forgot everything that might happen tomorrow, forgot everything in the world. In my mind, there was only the warm liquid he poured down my neck.

The warmth on my neck was like a sudden ray of light, casting the first hope of my life into my long-dimmed eyes. And so, I saw the pain in your heart, your smile, your tears. My budding heart began to slowly bloom, awakening in the deep, dense forest, facing the unknown sun, and blossoming into the first beautiful flower of my life.

Your tears tell me that your name is love, and you are the light I cherish most in this life.

He looked up, stunned. I didn't know what we would face when the new sun rose tomorrow, but I knew that at this moment, I loved him. My heart softened because of his tender tears; it could encompass everything about him. I gazed at him with tears in my eyes, regardless of who he was looking at now, regardless of whether I was a substitute for him.

I truly understand that I love him, I love this emperor, I love this heartless man. I love his empty heart, I love his deepest love, and his most helpless expression.

“Xiao Jin…” He looked at me with teary eyes, then suddenly kissed my face, gently and tenderly wiping away my tears. His tongue, like a snake, left its mark on my cheeks and lips.

I tiptoed, wrapped my arms around his neck, and then, to his somewhat bewildered look, pressed my lips to his, returning his deep kiss. Our tongues intertwined, forming a beautiful lilac knot. Though he was somewhat dazed, he still followed my lead and kissed me deeply.

My face flushed slightly, the blush like a beautiful wild rose climbing up my fair and clean neck and blooming on my delicate and tender cheeks.

I let out a soft moan, the delicate groans blurring the tranquil night and reddening our eyes. With tears in our eyes and with our hearts truly open, we embraced, without pretense or falsehood. Though we didn't know how long it would last, I wished this moment could stay with us until the end of time, until the very end of our lives.

He carried me to the bed and put me down. His eyes, which were a little watery but exceptionally clear, were fixed on me, and his long, slender fingers gently caressed my cheek.

He murmured, "Xiao Jin, Xiao Jin, tell me, this isn't a dream, this isn't a dream..." His face, flushed from the alcohol, looked troubled in the dim moonlight. He smiled bitterly, "So many times, I've dreamt of you, but when I wake up, you're gone... Xiao Jin... Xiao Jin..."

I didn't say anything, but showed him with my actions. I raised my head and kissed his chattering mouth. A relieved smile flashed in his eyes. Then he stroked me, turning the tables and showering me with kisses on my cheeks, neck, collarbone, chest... and then down.

My thin clothes were removed one by one. His fingers were slightly cool, and my body trembled slightly as he caressed me, like a flower bud about to bloom. A beautiful light flashed in his eyes, and he stared at me, mesmerized.

Her body flushed slightly from his touch, every part of her skin as if a memory had been awakened, making her exceptionally beautiful and alluring...

Through layers of flowing gauze curtains, a room was filled with enchanting spring light, accompanied by soft sighs and moans.

His long-suppressed desires and passion were released within me, and I simply accepted it gently, stroking his back, and together we reached the peak of pleasure. This man is the one I love, so what's wrong with being my substitute for him?

He is the person I love, how could I hurt him again and again?

The night is long and whispers softly.

Her beauty was captivating.

Everything was like a beautiful dream, like a rose slowly blooming and withering, like a winter plum blossom blooming alone and decaying, like fireworks intertwining and blooming, like a sunflower... immortal.

Whether it's the dreams of yesteryear or the old walls of tonight, who can understand the sorrow of rain beating against the bustling city?

Tears, without her noticing, slid down her cheeks and fell onto the white sheets.

This person is Brother Sima.

My dear brother Sima, who has been by my side since childhood, playing, laughing, drinking, and even visiting brothels with me.

The wound in my heart is getting deeper and deeper.

Having traversed millennia of sorrow, I was destined to meet you. You are the tribulation of my life.

"Lust is the greatest calamity in the world."

If the old man hadn't met my mother, if he hadn't fallen in love with her, he would have been a free-spirited and extraordinary man, full of learning, wandering the world under the moon and clouds, living a carefree life! But—he met her, and he fell in love. And so his life was plunged into a path of no return.

And what about me?

Who understands this, who can explain it clearly?

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Yesterday's clicks hit an all-time low, I need to step up my game!!!

Volume 3, Chapter 120: Chess Strategy (Part 1)

"Your Majesty, Your Majesty..."

"What's wrong?"

Consort Huan smiled slightly: "Didn't His Majesty say that after you return from this trip out of the palace, you would tell me the truth?"

"The truth? Leaving the palace?" Sima Rui frowned slightly. "What do you mean? Did I say that?" Sima Rui suddenly had a headache. He didn't know why, but his head had been hurting ever since he returned to the palace. It was as if he had forgotten something, but he couldn't remember what he should remember.

Consort Huan asked with a worried expression, "Your Majesty, what's wrong?"

Sima Rui smiled slightly, trying to dispel her worries: "It's nothing, perhaps I've just been too tired lately."

"Your Majesty, your health is important. Why don't you go up and lie down, and let me massage you?"

Sima Rui did as he was told, gave a soft hum, and then walked to the soft couch and lay down.

Consort Huan went over and gently massaged him. Her nimble fingers showed that this was not the first time she had done this.

Sima Rui sighed contentedly.

But I still can't help thinking about one person's face, a face that has been constantly on my mind since I went to court today.

That beautiful, ethereal face, that face that lingered in his mind, yet felt both familiar and strange. That special woman. But for a moment, he couldn't quite place what made her so special.

So tired. I drank all night, and my head is throbbing. I don't know why, but it felt like someone was guiding me. He went to her palace as if possessed.

She hadn't summoned him to her bedchamber, knowing her aversion. After returning to the palace, he had summoned her to the Imperial Palace once, but before anything could progress, she began vomiting incessantly, her expression one of pain and despair, simply lying on the dragon bed. So, he never summoned her again. Instead, he would visit her at Luoshuang Palace after court, playing chess and dining together—all pleasant and enjoyable. But last night, he couldn't resist, because he thought of someone else. He searched for that person's shadow in her, and the thought filled him with immense shame. But…

He hurriedly ran away early this morning.

Because I didn't know what to say.

"Your Majesty..." Consort Huan's soft voice drifted in, and Sima Rui felt his thoughts drifting further and further away, the voice growing softer and softer, further and further away from him.

Slowly, he sank into deep darkness. He felt utterly exhausted. It was as if something was tightly confining and devouring him in his mind. It was so painful.

Last night was filled with a passionate and destructive love affair, but today, in just a few hours, I've gone from a luxurious palace to this filthy, stinking prison. I'm surrounded by cockroaches and rats, facing several stone walls.

I remember the slightly guilty look on his face when he left; he must have felt guilty for using me as a substitute. He doesn't know, and I don't mind.

The vulnerability and sorrow he unintentionally revealed were replaced this morning by a warm smile and a gentle nature—his most perfect mask. Layer upon layer of that warm smile concealed it, so perfectly that not a single gap remained. I gradually came to understand how strong and fortress-like his smile, as gentle as the spring sunshine, truly was.

Looking at that somewhat glaring smile, I felt that the person in front of me was both familiar and unfamiliar.

When Gekong informed me yesterday that everything was settled, I knew this would be the outcome. That's why I'm here today.

After the rebellion was quelled, everything should have ended. However, the palace received a report—or rather, information was received through the secret service—that there were still remnants of the rebellion and unpurged rebels in the capital.

So, following those clues step by step, the investigation eventually led to the Xie family, one of the four great families in the capital. There was conclusive evidence that Right Chancellor Xie Yushi was involved. During the search of the Xie residence, the soldiers found a large number of weapons in the most secluded annex, Qulan Garden, providing irrefutable evidence of treason.

Right Chancellor Xie Yushi harbored rebellious intentions. Looking at those astonishing weapons, Sima Zhao's ambitions were obvious to everyone.

The Xie family mansion was raided. Xie Yushi, who once held immense power in the court, was dismissed from office and imprisoned awaiting trial. His wife and children were exiled. Even Consort Liande, the favored concubine suspected of being an accomplice and instigator, was imprisoned. It was said that the cold weapons were found in the childhood home of the fourth young lady of the Xie family. Everyone knew that no one but her could freely enter or leave that place. Only she in the Xie family had the power and audacity to do such a thing. The fourth young lady of the Xie family—everyone knew she was different from others from a young age, capable of rebellion. People were initially surprised, but considering her magnanimity and ambition, it wasn't surprising that she harbored such a desire to rule the world.

As the person directly involved, I remained calm about the outcome. Rumors had already circulated throughout Beijing, with various versions circulating. But I simply laughed them all off.

Why be surprised? I orchestrated all of this from the very beginning.

Su Da found her happiness, and I had already sent Xiao Quanzi out of the palace to Junjin Manor. Yunying had long been with Consort Wang and had always enjoyed that woman's trust, thanks to my teachings on how to read people and flatter appropriately. Moreover, she was skillful and had an eye for fashion, naturally earning that woman's trust. She became her right-hand woman.

All of this did not happen suddenly. Rather, it was all planned in advance, with each step linked to the next.

Moreover, Xie Yushi's accusation of rebellion was baseless, meaning it was true.

I know you all have many questions, and I'll answer them gradually later. Thank you everyone! ~~~o(∩_∩)o

Volume 3, Chapter 121: Chess Strategy (Part 2)

I knew everything back when Su Jun rebelled. Gao Lu sent word to me to observe the situation and wait for the two tigers to fight it out before reaping the benefits. In other words, Xie Yushi was plotting a rebellion. He wanted to seize the highest position.

He wanted to change the dynasty and become emperor himself.

But I chose to help him, to offer him advice, to help him withdraw his troops, and to help him preserve his country.

Thus, the scenario of the mantis stalking the cicada, unaware of the oriole behind, did not happen to Xie Yushi, the man who abandoned the woman he loved most and used his own daughter for power.

We were both imprisoned, yet I never once saw him. I suppose he both loved and hated me in this life.

Betraying Xie Yushi is betraying the Xie family. Now the Xie family has been raided and its property confiscated. One of the four great clans, even the number one, has collapsed just like that, all because of my negligence, because I allowed Ge Kong to leak this news to the Dark Gate. I also orchestrated this whole affair. This scheme began long before Su Jun's rebellion; the positions of the pieces and the course of events were already predetermined. And today, we've reached a crucial step in the game. Soon, I will close the game.

Driven by personal motives, she wanted to eliminate some powerful aristocratic families for him. In the current Jin state, these families had long controlled the entire court. That's why Consort Huan said he had many unavoidable circumstances, which is why he didn't love any women, yet he married them one by one into the harem. Ostensibly, this was to enrich the harem, but in reality, it was to reassure those families and prevent them from harboring any ambitions of usurpation. It was to make them understand that their status had risen, as evidenced by the position of their daughters in the harem.

This opportunity would allow him to eliminate one of the powerful clans. Then the other three would dare not act rashly. Presumably, his years of lurking were aimed at destroying these aristocratic families and reclaiming the supreme power of the emperor. Otherwise, he would be like a pitiful monarch struggling to survive, caught between tigers and leopards. Given his character, how could he possibly accept such a fate?

So, before I leave, I'll grant his wish.

The Xie family, the place where I was born and raised, has become a sacrifice in my scheme, a victim of my selfish desires and the desire to bring this game to its end. So, I will do my best to lessen their suffering. I can never repay the patriarch's kindness in raising me; since I cannot give him the entire country, I will at least take the blame for them all, sparing his life and the Xie family's.

They were nothing more than a few unwitting pawns.

I heard that although the Xie family was raided, not everyone was killed; instead, they were exiled. This suggests that the high and mighty man still possessed a sliver of compassion.

I bet he'll spare them all. He'll make sure they live.

This is not only my confidence in him, but also my confidence in myself.

All the scheming was for the purpose of a clever escape, a departure from the palace, so that Xie Weiying would cease to exist in this world. She carried far too many identities. From this day forward, she will be gone forever.

I thought he would be furious when he heard the news. But I was wrong. He didn't come until three days after I stayed in that smelly, filthy place.

However, his face did not show the anger I expected, but rather endless sorrow.

His once fair and plump cheeks were deeply sunken, his eyes were bloodshot, his thin lips were dry and chapped, and there were deep black circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept for days and nights. The way he looked at me was like an old well that had been abandoned for a very long time, with bottomless hidden wounds.

We gazed at each other in silence, as if searching for even the faintest glimmer of dawn, for someone who could see through our souls. It was as if a long, insurmountable river separated us in the air.

I looked at him and smiled silently, a smile as desolate as a frail peony.

Someone once said that even the strongest woman, when she meets the man she loves, will succumb and become just an ordinary wildflower by the roadside.

He stared at me blankly, walked over, cupped my face in his fingers, his fingertips were icy cold, and there were glistening tears trembling in his eyes, which then fell onto his pale, thin face.

He smiled strangely. "You know what? I don't even know why I'm here myself. You strange woman, I think I've forgotten who you are, but I can't let you go. I don't believe what they're saying is true. I don't believe a woman like you would crave power, or even more than those other women. I've thought about it for three days, and finally decided to come and ask you. Now, tell me the truth. I need to know the truth. Don't lie. I don't want to hear a single lie. Do you understand?" His tone was urgent, almost desperate, as if he were afraid he would forget or change his mind at any moment.