How could you bring it up? You've already said it now, haven't you? You feel resentful, so you want everyone to feel the same way you do.
"Why make so many excuses? Just say you want the highest position in the world, and that'll be enough."
He paused for a moment, then let out a cold laugh, which was actually sarcastic.
"You should thank me. Without my support for your hatred, you might not have survived. Hatred is a very subtle emotion, but to some extent, it can at least give you the strength to live."
A crack appeared on her beautiful face, her eyebrows furrowed, and she scolded me for being unreasonable. But if I hadn't struck a chord with you, why would you lose your temper like this?
What a disappointment! It ruined my appetite.
"So you're blaming me, blaming me for not killing you with one sword back then? Since this was your long-cherished wish, I can finish you off now. Will you let me do it?"
A blush rose on her pale cheeks, rippling like rouge, making the person before her instantly as beautiful as a blooming spring flower.
Her slender, white knuckles turned almost transparent from the force she exerted, and her thin chest heaved violently with anger.
Don't think I wouldn't dare kill you!
"What a joke! If you really dared to kill me, you wouldn't have brought me here."
He looked at me with eyes as sharp as knives, then suddenly laughed, a very soft laugh that made my heart tighten.
"You think this will provoke me?" His voice was hoarse, worn from the blood.
Oh no, this move was risky.
He walked slowly over, his crimson robe trailing on the ground, like a red flower in full bloom about to wither on the snow-white felt. So there was sadness and sorrow, and even his melancholy was poignant.
"I didn't have any expectations."
Yunzhi, why haven't you come yet?
"Why are you hiding? Are you scared now? Or are you hoping Nangong Ling will come to save you? I didn't know Rong Lian had become such a dreamer?"
"Jun Guan! Let go of my hand!"
Before I could even see who it was, the hand that was gripping my wrist was pulled away. It was gripping so tightly that it inevitably hurt me.
"Heh, it's just a touch, is it really necessary to be so nervous?" I saw a hint of madness in those long, dark eyes.
The crisp, cold scent of snow spread, and the atmosphere was so frigid. I frowned, wondering if I was afraid of the cold.
"Did I hurt you?" Feng Moru asked cautiously, her hand reaching out but I slapped it away.
Of course it hurts! Lifting up her long sleeves, five red marks appeared on her snow-white wrists, but what was most shocking was the ugly, interlocking teeth marks beneath the red marks.
"Feng Moru, I told you several years ago that I could never live with you. Do you really like me or are you just obsessed because you can't have me?"
A fierce glint flashed in his eyes, a mixture of anger and resentment born from extreme pain.
Sigh, why does my mouth always seem to push me into a fire pit?
Chapter 73
Speaking too quickly is definitely not a good thing, and I'm the kind of person who doesn't care about anything when I get angry. But now it seems too late to regret it. I spoke so clearly, and words spoken are like water spilled.
I swallowed hard, took a step back, and tried hard to recall the martial arts moves I had neglected for so long. "Nangong Ling, what are you dawdling for? Are the Nine Dukes really that difficult to deal with?"
Actually, you can't blame me for being too blunt; it's just that Jun Guan really hurt me.
"You hit me so hard, I'm sure I wouldn't have survived if you had the Qilin Whip. Is that enough?"
These words only have an effect when said to Feng Moru's face.
Upon hearing this, Feng Moru's expression changed, and she turned to look at Jun Guan, who was expressionless and had a gloomy look in his eyes.
"You want to kill her?"
“If I could, I would.” He smiled again, his thin lips as red as blood. “But at least it’s still useful for now.”
"Get out."
Jun Guan shrugged, a mocking smile playing on his lips, but a complex emotion flickered in his eyes. He dragged his feet and lifted the curtain, glancing back with a look of utter desolation, as heartbreaking as a cuckoo's mournful cry.
My heart skipped a beat for no reason. At this moment, he seemed to overlap with the pale boy covered in blood from many years ago. It was this moment of vulnerability that made me lose my will to kill.
"Lian'er." Feng Moru's voice brought me back to reality.
"Don't call me that anymore." I glanced at the unopened pigeon on the table; even the yellowish-brown parchment paper exuded a strong sense of sorrow.
"Why?" Her brows furrowed, her expression as cold as an ancient plum blossom. "Are you afraid that Nangong Ling will be displeased if he hears this?"
This is the question you asked yourself, "That's right."
"Why him? Shouldn't you hate him?"
He did so much for me, he endured so much all by himself. If I hate him, would I still be human?
"All I know is that he's very good to me."
"If I had known you before him, would you have chosen me?"
I looked into his deep, well-like eyes and shook my head resolutely.
"Our personalities are too different; we're not a good match."
"So Nangong Ling is better than me? Isn't he just as boring and cold, and he even lays a hand on you..."
"no the same."
I know his bottom line, and I know I've gone too far in my willfulness. We both understand this in our hearts, but because of what has happened, we can't let go easily, so we have to test each other to figure out each other's feelings.
Feng Moru closed his eyes, his pale fingertips trembling slightly. After a long while, he managed a bitter smile. Instantly, a vast and desolate silence spread uncontrollably.
"Lian'er... Ronglian, how could you be so heartless..."
If I couldn't bear to, I'd drag things out, and indecisiveness isn't my style. Besides, it would be unfair to that person. Thinking about this, I couldn't help but smile. When did I become so inseparable from him? Have I really fallen this deep?
"Why should you take on those responsibilities that you used to disdain? It's not worth it for me. You're not suited for a life of power struggles and intrigue. You should be living a carefree and tranquil life, like a hermit wandering the world. That's why I often enjoy watching you paint."
"Nothing else?"
"I get nothing but a moment of peace from you."
“Rong Lian, who can be more cunning than you? Who can be more ruthless than you? From beginning to end, all you cared about, all you had in your eyes, was Nangong Ling. Although I knew this, I was willing to be used by you because I clung to a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, you really did hate him…”
I looked away, unable to bear the sight of his increasingly cold and desolate eyes, which seemed to envelop all the loneliness of autumn rain and winter snow, making it hard for me to breathe. I longed to return to Yunzhi's side immediately; I couldn't bear this pressure. One Jun Guan was bad enough, but they had to add Feng Moru to the mix? Did they think I had no conscience?
"Okay, I'm tired." Although it's not very honorable, sometimes escapism is a way to cope.
He stared at me for a long time, so long that I thought the night was going to pass like this, before he slowly, slowly looked away. His lips were pale and dull, as lonely and cold as deep snow.
When he left, he took with him a room full of desolation, leaving behind an omnipresent desolation, so heavy and intense.
Feeling uneasy, I kept my eyes open until dawn, but no light could penetrate the camp. The candles on the table had long since burned out, leaving only a dim, hazy atmosphere, with only a few slivers of light squeezing in from outside the curtain.
"Miss?" A small voice came from outside the door, tentative and cautious.
"Who is it?" I simply stood up.
The curtain was lifted, letting in a golden light that was somewhat dazzling.
The person who walked in was graceful and elegant, wearing a warm red jacket and a matching pomegranate-colored skirt, with a delicate and pretty oval face.
"Xiao Ruo? Your master has taken such good care of you; you've become even more beautiful in just a few months."
Her little face flushed slightly. "Miss is joking."
She helped me wash and dress, and after breakfast I was alone in the camp again. Apart from Xiao Ruo, no one else came.
Chapter 74
When I was lying in bed pretending to be dead, someone came.
"You're so relaxed. I thought you were about to go crazy from being cooped up for so long."
That's a voice that deserves a beating!
"How could that be? If anyone's going to go crazy, it'll be you first before I can go crazy."
"Hmph, let's see how long you can be so arrogant. You've offended your backer, what do you have to compete with me?" He finished with a smug laugh.
I sighed, "You're the one who shamelessly challenged me to a competition; I had absolutely no intention of competing with you."
With a glare, she drew her sword and stood up. I sat up abruptly in bed. Yan Hailan would never show any mercy.
His swordsmanship is becoming increasingly refined, and his attacks are becoming more and more ruthless. If I didn't have some basic skills, it wouldn't have been as simple as just having a few strands of hair cut off. But I can't hold out much longer either; if this drags on, it's only a matter of time before I start bleeding.
"Are you ever going to stop? Why are you making things difficult for me?!" I was annoyed too; I'd been holding in a lot of pent-up frustration for the past two days.
She paused, but her soft sword continued to dart across my neck, sending a sharp pain through me.
"Just looking at you makes me angry!"
"That's ridiculous. You think I want to see you?"
I threw the teapot and porcelain cups on the table. The camp was already sparsely furnished, and after throwing these away, there was nothing left to throw. My strength had reached its limit, and to make matters worse, the poison from Guanghan Powder took effect at this moment.
"Xiao Ruo!" Thinking about it, my life is more important. I didn't die at Jun Guan's hands, but I died at your hands, Yan Hailan. It's so frustrating. So I shouted at the top of my lungs.
"You called for help so quickly? Aren't you always so proud and principled?!"
Ugh, I'm really getting angry. I grabbed a wooden stick from the window and used it as a sword. After all, I've diligently learned the Rong-style Nine Swords technique.