"You got a year wrong too?" I thought to myself, this kid is really unlucky. After all that trouble, he can still live for another year. If someone told me I only had one year to live, I probably wouldn't even be able to live a single day.
"I made a lot of mistakes. The judge mistook 7 for 2. I can still live for another 50 years."
"Congratulations! It's rare to live to 70, uh... you're not going to live here for 50 years, are you? I smoke, drink, and indulge in excessive sexual activity, I definitely won't outlive you—I recognize you, you're often in magazines, you're that one..." I didn't finish my sentence.
"I am that playboy. According to those reporters, I've been having an affair with every new female celebrity who debuts," he said dismissively.
I became more and more confused as I listened, and asked, "How can I possibly help you?"
"You have to save me in 5 days. The me you see now is actually me in 5 days. I just rushed back from Hong Kong because it's my grandmother's 80th birthday in 5 days."
"This is so confusing!" I quickly gestured to stop him from continuing. I said, "Excuse me, please slow down. My IQ is only around 80. Are you saying that the you I'm seeing now is the you who has been to the underworld and been resurrected, and at the same time, there's another you who just came back from Hong Kong and I'm rushing to the airport, and I can even see him?"
Jin Shaoyan smiled and nodded.
I said, "If that's the case, why don't you go and save yourself yourself? He'll understand everything as soon as he sees you. You two are closer than brothers, aren't you?"
"Whether he believes it or not is another matter. We are actually using the same body. As soon as I see him now—or rather, as soon as I see myself—I become invisible. He can neither see me nor hear me. Because of the urgency and special nature of this matter, the King of Hell arranged for me to cut in line to you and seek your help."
"How exactly can I help you?"
“It’s simple, all you have to do in five days is stop me from getting into the car.”
"Why doesn't Yama just send your soul back into your body in 5 days to revive you?"
Jin Shaoyan laughed and said, "Theoretically, he could do it. But after the car crash, my head was like a piece of sachima (a type of Chinese pastry). If I were to continue living, more people would probably die, and..." Jin Shaoyan lovingly touched his handsome face and said, "Besides, I'd rather die than live like that."
I will never eat Sachima again!
I said, "I've figured things out, now it's time to talk about what you did for me. Among my clients, you're the first one from the future, even if it's only for five days. Are you going to tell me the winning lottery numbers in five days?"
Jin Shaoyan laughed and said, "I'm not interested in those things. Actually, 5 million is nothing to me..." He reminded me a little embarrassedly.
I slapped my forehead: What an idiot! 5 million is really nothing to the Jin family, let alone the fact that the Jin family has thousands of acres of land and only one seedling. This 5 million can be said to be buying the future of their entire family.
I said, "I'm fine with it. Can you give me the money after the 17th?"
"No, once it's past midnight on the 17th, I will merge with him in the present moment. However, the memories of the underworld and my contact with you will be erased. I will transfer your money to you in the next few days, on the condition that you do a few things first."
I said skeptically, "To put it bluntly, you're just a puppet who can't stand to see the real person. Where would you get the money to give me?"
Jin Shaoyan laughed and said, "It seems your IQ is less than 80. How could I not know the password on my own card?" He said, "The car at the door, the watch on my wrist, and this outfit of mine, I just bought them."
I said, puzzled, "You'd better be careful with your spending, kid. What if Jin Shaoyan finds out there's money missing from your card and changes the password?"
Jin Shaoyan chuckled: "Why do you always separate me from him so clearly? Don't forget that we are originally one person. No matter how he changes, he can't escape my thinking. Besides, five days ago I was just a spoiled brat. Anyway, I never calculate how much money I spent."
I chuckled too: "So, what do you want me to do?"
"First, you have to become friends with me now—oh no, I mean me on the 12th—to lay the groundwork for the rescue of me on the 17th."
"I don't have time for that. Let me tell you, the squinty-eyed guy upstairs is Jing Ke, the fat guy is Qin Shi Huang, the really sleazy-looking one is Emperor Gaozu of Han, and the big guy next to you is Xiang Yu. How can I leave such a family? Here's what we'll do: I won't let you drive in five days. If you're really looking to kill yourself, I'll hit you there with a brick. Getting hurt is better than losing your life, right?"
Jin Shaoyan said, somewhat dumbfounded, "That fat guy is actually Qin Shi Huang? I thought he was your second uncle. You're just going to let a whole room full of emperors squeeze into a tiny 80-square-meter space with you? Oh, by the way, who's that girl?"
I said warily, "That's my cousin." Although a playboy and a famous courtesan in the capital seem like a good match, didn't Li Shishi decide to leave the profession? Besides, the prodigal son Yan Qing is coming in a few days. If this brother finds out that I'm a pimp, I'll send my sworn sister, with whom I have an ambiguous relationship, out to entertain clients again... Not to mention anything else, I reckon he could take on eight judo champions and 7th dan taekwondo masters with one hand. And I heard he's on good terms with that hothead Li Kui.
Jin Shaoyan changed the subject, saying, "Actually, it would be good for you to get along well with 'me'. Don't take offense, but it seems you'll really need a spendthrift like me to support you financially in the future."
"It's all about flattery—" I sighed and said, "I'll do it for 5 million."
Jin Shaoyan felt quite embarrassed about forcing others to flatter him. He said, "Actually, you don't need to feel embarrassed. With my help, you can easily destroy him if you want."
I thought to myself: This kid is really ruthless to himself.
He said, "I'll give you my phone numbers from when I was alive and after I died, and then I'll tell you some things to note. If you can become friends with me within these five days, I'll give you half the money..."
I told him, "From now on, let's just call anyone before the 17th 'him,' okay? Otherwise it's too confusing!"
Jin Shaoyan scribbled something on a piece of paper, then tore it off and gave it to me: "I have one last request—can I treat your cousin to dinner tonight?"
I said with a forced smile, "You'd better take care of yourself first, and don't forget about your 'Sachima' brain."
Chapter Twenty-Three: Why is this?
I took the paper and saw a bunch of instructions written on it. Without reading it carefully, I just typed in a text message saying "Guess who I am" and sent it to the number on the paper. Jin Shaoyan laughed and said, "He's not usually one to text, but I bet he'll reply..."
Then a text message replied: "Baby?"
Jin Shaoyan didn't even glance at it before saying, "Baby!"
I was utterly impressed and said, "So, what should I say in response?"
"Just reply: 'It's me, baby.' Then arrange a place to meet him."
"Will... he go?"
"Absolutely. Just ignore him for now and let him come to you himself."
I pointed at him and said, "Aren't you afraid of running into a scam gang?"
“I have received a lot of professional training since I was a child. Most people can’t get close to him even if they are seven or eight, which is why I asked you to use this method to get close to him.”
Damn, for the first time I've ever hoped Yan Qing would come soon.
Jin Shaoyan stretched and said, "If you don't object, I'd like to treat everyone upstairs to a meal. After all, I'm practically the host, and I feel bad seeing a bunch of emperors eating instant noodles and crammed into dormitories every day. It's not easy for them to come all this way, so let them see this glamorous world."
I don't have any objections to that. Feeding so many people is already difficult, especially since Baozi works the night shift. This group has even explored Futai Road; there's practically nowhere in the city they can't go. But what about Baozi?