When I stopped, the people around us and those at the next table looked at me with eager eyes, urging me to continue. They probably also wanted to know how much money was in that sack.
I pulled rows and rows of small bills out of the sack, stared at them for a long time, and finally said helplessly to the person next to me, "Can you help me count them?"
The first person to come and help me was a middle-aged man in a sharp suit. He picked up a stack of dirty bills, counted them, and said, "Aren't you afraid we'll take the money and run away?"
I said, "Go ahead and run. Even if you fill all your pockets, you won't have more than 20 yuan. How much does it cost to dry clean this suit?"
The middle-aged man smiled and placed a thick wad of small bills in front of me: "Counted it, this is 3.4 yuan..."
Inspired by him, the people around him all pitched in to help, and I simply grabbed a piece of paper and started keeping track of the bills. Those who had managed to get seats found it amusing and were also willing to help. Several waiters brought over large baskets from the kitchen, filled them with coins, and started distributing the money to each table, basket by basket…
If you ask me if I feel ashamed for doing this? Yes!
But that depends on who I'm with. If I were to scavenge for garbage with a beggar, I'd be the one who loses face. But now, sitting across from Jin Shaoyan, it's definitely him who loses face. It's like a porcelain doll hugging a clay doll and jumping into the water—the porcelain doll isn't comfortable either, but it's still within a manageable range.
After more than an hour of counting, the figure came back: 500,000! The entire hall erupted in enthusiastic applause…
It's amazing, not a single penny is missing. I don't mean to suggest anyone embezzled; people who eat here are more likely to be paid a fortune. I'm just impressed by the fruits of our collective labor. Sun Sixin himself didn't even count the money; he just calculated it based on the account book.
I stuffed all the money back into the sack. Then I put away the two contracts in front of Jin Shaoyan. He was utterly dejected. I knew that after this incident, we would never have anything to do with each other again. I piled the sack under his nose and said, "We'll never see each other again." He looked up at me, and his aggrieved and helpless eyes reminded me of Jin 2 again. I added in a voice so soft that only I could hear, "Brother—"
I walked away, feeling smug and self-satisfied. I even had the urge to stay in the car and watch how Jin Shaoyan carried that bag of money out.
When I got home, I laughed for a while longer. Baozi rolled her eyes at me: "What are you laughing at all by yourself for?"
I leaned closer to her and said mysteriously, "I've got something good to show you!"
"What?"
"medicine!"
Baozi blushed slightly, looked around, and asked softly, "Is it for men or women?"
I knew she misunderstood me, so I said, "It's not an aphrodisiac!"
What is that?
"You'll know once you try it—" I said, reaching for my chest, but only touching the T-shirt I was wearing underneath. I immediately broke out in a cold sweat. The pill was in my coat pocket, but I'd forgotten it in the restaurant because of my excessive yawning earlier!
I jumped up like a monkey that'd been burned, and ran downstairs like a madman. Baozi shouted after me, "Did you take ecstasy?"
I drove like a bull in heat, the lock on the back door banging incessantly against the metal, making an irritating noise. Eventually, half my car was almost inside the restaurant when the doorman, about to unleash a torrent of abuse, immediately shut up upon seeing me. I grabbed him and demanded, "Where's your supervisor?" Before he could answer, I saw the supervisor who had helped me dry my clothes. Jin Shaoyan was already gone, and the restaurant had returned to its elegant and tranquil atmosphere. I stormed over to the supervisor, grabbed his wrist, and yelled, "Where are my clothes?"
When the supervisor saw it was me, he smiled politely, and his calm expression reassured me somewhat. Sure enough, the supervisor said, "Your clothes have been dried. We didn't have time to return them to you because you left so suddenly."
I breathed a long sigh of relief: "Give it to me."
“It’s my pleasure.” He quickly pulled out the coat. I grabbed it and reached into the inside pocket—though most readers probably already expected this, I still have to say, yes, it was gone, the pill was completely nowhere to be found. I checked the other pockets as well, and there was only a small wad of slightly damp banknotes.
I said urgently, "Did you touch my clothes?"
The supervisor finally lost his temper. Although he was smiling, he said in a very unfriendly tone, "What do you think? We offer five-star service. If you don't believe me, you can check the security camera footage."
I know he's telling the truth. Even if the manager of a high-class place knew there was a nuclear weapon button hidden in a guest's clothes, he wouldn't touch it. Judging from the roll of money in the pocket, it's safe to say that the clothes were touched by unauthorized people.
The supervisor couldn't help but ask, "Did you lose something?"
"Oh, it's nothing, just asking, don't take it to heart." I handed him the roll of money, and the supervisor said in surprise, "We don't accept tips."
"It's not a tip. I just knocked over and broke that big vase by your door when I came in."
...
I returned home dejected, constantly thinking about this: Where did that pill go?
The most common explanation is that it fell out when I ran into the restaurant. The pill wasn't much bigger than a capsule, and its smooth surface made it easy to slip out.
Later, Li Tianrun's words made me think there was a second explanation, and this explanation seemed somewhat terrifying: he said that the medicine dissolves in water, and I remember that when I ran from the parking lot to the restaurant, my coat was already soaked through...
I sat there dumbfounded, holding the garment, not even noticing when Baozi had taken it from me. By the time I realized what was happening, she had already thrown it, along with a whole pile of dirty clothes, into the washing machine—you know, Baozi washes all the clothes in the family now—and after just two spins, huge clumps of black foam floated to the surface.
When it was time to change the water for Baozi, I suddenly realized what was happening and pushed her towards the bedroom: "I'll do the rest of the work, you can watch TV..."
Baozi pressed her back against my palm and turned around to ask, "What have you done to offend me this time?"
Our washing machine is in the kitchen. I hid inside and looked out for a while, seeing the five of us busy with our own things, before I came back. I threw all the dirty clothes into the basin and stared blankly at the rippling dirty water. Li Tianrun had also told me that once this medicine dissolves in water and is ingested, its effects are extremely fast, almost instantaneous. So, if that pill dissolved in that piece of clothing, it wasn't really lost; its properties had simply changed.
If Baozi hadn't thrown it in the washing machine, I could have soaked a basin of orange juice, put the garment in, rubbed it a few times, and then poured the resulting liquid into a beer bottle to drink in several portions. But now I can't. You can't exactly call Fang Zhenjiang here, point to a washing machine full of dirty water, and say, "You only remember you're Wu Song after you drink all this, can you?"
The only way now is for me to test the medicinal properties of this water first. According to Li Tianrun, the medicine is strong and fast-acting, so would drinking a small amount be enough to make it work? Even just recalling things from before I was three years old would be helpful. As long as it proves this stuff still works, I will do everything in my power to make Fang Zhenjiang drink it.
I found a bowl and rinsed it under the tap repeatedly, but when I faced the black water from the washing machine, I realized it was completely unnecessary. Even if there was water in the bowl, it was just dish soap, and what I was about to drink was laundry detergent…
I scooped up a bowl of black water, but before I could even drink it, I started gagging. This stuff was absolutely disgusting; not only was the color like something I'd pulled from a fertilizer factory's stinking ditch, but it also gave off a warm, pungent odor. The laundry detergent bag said it was gentle on hands, but it didn't say it was gentle on the stomach…
I just pinched my nose to drink—
"What are you doing?" a voice asked from close by.
I was startled. I saw Jing Ke pressed against the wall, looking at me with that killer's gaze that was either empty or determined, while his other eye was scanning the living room.
I held up my bowl to him in a flattering manner and said, "Kezi, would you like a bowl? It's delicious." I thought to myself that I should let Ersha have a few bowls first. Although it was a bit unfair to do this, it was for his own good. Maybe he was a wise man like Guan Zhong in his past life.
Jing Ke stared at me intently, then suddenly said, "When I was a child, I knew a fool who died from drinking dirty water." After saying that, he gave me a disdainful look and strode away.
I:"……"
Finally, I had no choice but to steel myself and drink it from the bowl, but I threw it all up after just two sips! I figured if I really forced Fang Zhenjiang to drink this, he'd probably just routinely knock my whole family out and write on the wall: "Murderer, Fang Zhenjiang." Then he'd head straight for Afghanistan or Iraq or something. In the end, I had to give up on that plan.