For some reason, Xiang Yu finally snapped. He grabbed Liu Bang and lifted him into the air, roaring, "Do you have such a big appetite?" These two men had always had irreconcilable differences, neither looking down on the other. Xiang Yu was probably reminded of his painful past by seeing me and Baozi celebrating my birthday together, coupled with the fact that Liu Bang had seized the empire years ago, leaving him extremely depressed. Moreover, these political figures are very particular about dividing spoils; if you dared to take the biggest piece, you deserved to be lifted into the air.
Baozi thought they were just joking and ignored them. After handing out the cake, she said, "Today is my birthday. I'm 26 years old. I'm so happy to have so many people celebrating with me. Come on, eat!"
Li Shishi took a bite of cake and smiled, "Congratulations on your 26th birthday, sister."
Baozi asked curiously, "Xiaonan, why don't you call me cousin-in-law anymore?"
Li Shishi said slyly, "Because I just wanted to remind my cousin that it's time to formally marry you." Qin Shihuang chimed in, "That's right, a 26-year-old woman should be out in the world by now." Baozi chuckled first, then suddenly touched his face and said, "Do you guys think I'm old...?"
Li Shishi suddenly said to me, "Cousin, where's the birthday present you gave to my sister?"
I was stunned. Even Ersha gave me steamed buns and a knife; it would be unreasonable for a boyfriend to give nothing in return. Liu Bang, on the rooftop, said at the opportune moment, "Although I wasn't prepared either, I have my most heartfelt blessings for you..."
Damn it, they stole my lines.
I was feeling embarrassed when Li Shishi tugged at me and said reproachfully, "How could you be so stupid? Propose to your sister!" Qin Shi Huang nodded and smiled, "Let's see if it works out." This was considered an imperial decree bestowing a marriage upon me.
Everyone was looking at me. Liu Bang shouted, "Qiangzi, stick to your idea..." but Xiang Yu pinched him, silencing him. Xiang Yu then shouted, "Qiangzi, just agree!"
I knew today was the day, so I simply said to Baozi, "If you don't mind that I have no house, no car, no savings, and I'm a jerk—Baozi, then marry me."
Li Shishi paused for a moment before leading the applause. Amidst the applause, Baozi said shyly, "This matter... I need to ask my dad first."
As I said, the old accountant already knew about our relationship; he was just waiting for me to go to the engagement party so he could ask for an exorbitant amount.
That's the end of that matter.
I suddenly felt a heavy weight on my shoulders: responsibility, obligation, and Liu Bang—Xiang Yu had thrown him onto my shoulders.
Li Shishi asked me, "Cousin, do you have a sword at home?"
I was startled: "What? Your cousin and I are married, not bound by a blood oath."
"I don't have any gifts to give you, so I'll just perform a sword dance for you as entertainment."
Where am I supposed to get her a sword? A few years ago, we had machetes.
Jing Ke was unusually sharp-minded today. He dashed into the restroom, carrying a plunger. Luckily, the plunger hadn't been used and was still inside a plastic bag.
Li Shishi took the leather handkerchief and first performed a "fairy pointing the way" pose. After assuming the stance, she danced and sang: "Once there was a beautiful woman named Gongsun, whose sword dance moved all directions, and the spectators were as numerous as mountains, their faces filled with dejection..." Li Shishi's figure was graceful and her movements were nimble. Most notably, her eyes were sometimes sharp and sometimes gentle. She danced with a wooden stick, which was also quite beautiful. It would have been even better if the stick didn't have the leather cup on the end...
Since we'd all eaten so much cake for dinner, we only had a few simple dishes and some wine. Looking at the sky outside, which was neither too early nor too late, I suddenly felt inspired and said to Baozi, "Come on, I'll take you for a drive."
When Baozi saw my sidecar motorcycle, she was immediately stunned. She asked me, "You said you helped someone move yesterday, you didn't go to help the museum move, did you?"
I scooped her up and tossed her into the back of the motorcycle, then hopped on and sped off towards the bridge, leaving a trail of black smoke. Baozi laughed maniacally; as we watched the sunset, it felt like we were transported back to that silly, innocent era.
As the silhouettes of Baozi and me, along with the setting sun, were forming a picture-perfect scene, I suddenly received a text message. I pulled out my blue phone to check it, and Baozi said with disgust, "Can you smoke less and get a new phone? Even a remote control looks better than that thing."
I ignored her and looked at the number. It was an unfamiliar number. The text message read: "Qiangzi, I forgot to tell you, working for Heaven isn't for nothing. You get paid at the end of the month. Specifically, it'll be a little something extra, like getting you a third eye or something. But the date is uncertain, it could be a few days earlier or later—now you know who I am?"
Liu Laoliu! Who else could it be but him?
I immediately replied: Is this your phone number? Could you please get me a Midas touch first?
Liu Laoliu replied: Don't count on it, I don't even know how to do that much, at most I can turn earwax into copper. This is a message I sent to you using a friend's phone number—don't reply, I'm leaving.
I called back, and a man on the other end said in a muffled voice, "Who's calling now?"
I asked, "Where is that?"
"Iron Collar, Geha?"
Liu Laoliu has fled to the Northeast. After hanging up the phone, I was quite excited. The day is almost here, and I wonder what benefits Heaven will give me. I'll be able to have superpowers soon!
Just then, I suddenly saw two dark figures swiftly drifting towards me, their bodies and legs completely still. I was terrified; it seemed my third eye had been activated. Upon closer inspection, however, they weren't—just two skateboarders.
Chapter Forty-Four: Heroes of Liangshan
I think I should stay at the pawnshop for a few days. I've already paid back the 200,000 yuan, but it's still a considerable sum. Boss Hao only asked that one question casually; how much trust he had in someone like me, a former hoodlum! If I keep fickle like this, I'll be letting Boss Hao down.
As for the 300 building, Lai Zi is keeping an eye on it for me. Lai Zi is incredibly loyal to me now; under his supervision, the foundation has been dug so deep that we're almost touching the lava. Lai Zi patted his chest and told me, "Brother Qiang, don't worry. Even if God treats the earth like a yo-yo, the houses we build will stick to the city wall like chewing gum, stubbornly clinging to it."
Because of this earthquake, building material suppliers and construction teams became like stepchildren, and it was precisely because of this that I was able to build a fairly large school with less than 3 million yuan, but that's another story.
The next day, as I sat idly in the pawnshop, my thoughts were mostly on the wages the Heavenly Court had promised me. Just then, Li Shishi returned from shopping, followed by a pale-faced man. After entering the shop, Li Shishi greeted me and cheerfully went upstairs, seemingly unaware of the person behind her.
This pale-faced man, dressed in homespun clothes that seemed completely out of place for the era, walked with his arms hanging limply and shoulders swaying. After following Li Shishi in, he stared blankly at me. This time, I was genuinely a little creeped out; this thing looked more like a zombie!
I shouted, "Kezi, come down here right now!" I thought that Jing Ke, after all, was a former assassin, and perhaps his murderous aura could subdue this ghost. Jing Ke took a long time to come down, and the white-faced man and I stood there frozen, afraid to move, not even daring to turn our heads. I said tremblingly, "Kezi, can you see him?"
Jing Ke covered the radio to his ears, looking bewildered, and asked, "Who is it?"
This gave me goosebumps. I asked the pale-faced man in a trembling voice, "What do you want to do?"
The pale-faced man didn't move his heels, swaying as he said softly, "I'm hungry..."
I glanced at the ashtray and said dismissively, "Tell me your birth date and time, and I'll burn some paper money for you."
The pale-faced man shrewdly snatched the ashtray from my hand, then held it out in front of me, sighing, "Give me something to eat..." implying that he would beat me up if I didn't give it to him.
What should I give him? My heart? My liver? I could give him my appendix, but that would require surgery. I moved back while thinking of an excuse.
Jing Ke couldn't bear to watch any longer and said, "Why don't you give him some food?"
"You make it sound so easy. What could I possibly use... to see him?"