The fat man said unhappily, "Why can't I? I saw you wanted to call out but didn't. Is it because Xiaoqiang's skin won't let you call out?"
Baozi looked Qin Shihuang up and down and said, "But to be honest, you're much thinner than before."
...After they finished their nonsense, I finally extended my hand to shake Qin Shi Huang's. But the fat man completely ignored me, walked past me, used his sword to cut open the boxes we'd brought, peered inside, and muttered, "What did you pack for me?"
The next second, Qin Shi Huang grabbed a tomato, swung it near his mouth, and swallowed it, smacking his lips and saying, "Now I'm probably hungry enough to have a good bowl of tomato and egg noodles."
I pulled the game console out of another box, tucked it under my arm, and threatened Fatty Ying, "You guys are really going to do this. Want more of this?"
Fatty Ying's eyes lit up, and he reached out to grab it. I twisted my waist to avoid him. Fatty smiled obsequiously and said, "Don't be silly, Wei has already attacked. Isn't it enough that we're giving you a fiefdom?"
I held the game console protectively to my chest, swinging my arms back and forth, and said, "What about the State of Qi? When are you going to deliver on your promise?"
The fat man said, "Do you have to believe in my strength?"
A moment later, the fat man called over a cook who was also dressed in official robes and ordered, "Make me some tomato and egg noodles."
The cook shakily got up from the ground, picked up a tomato and examined it for a long time, then said in a trembling voice, "Your Majesty, please forgive me, but... is this thing called a tomato?"
Qin Shi Huang said impatiently, "Hurry up. Bring it up when it's ready."
The cook kowtowed repeatedly, pleading, "I deserve to die... I've never made tomato and egg noodles before..."
The fat man's expression changed, and he said, "Believe it or not, I'll fire you!" The fat man used to be able to eat a good bowl of noodles for three yuan on the street, but today his chef embarrassed him in front of us, so he was a little embarrassed.
Baozi said from the side, "It's very simple, just fry it with the eggs."
The cook nodded mechanically twice, his expression blank, clearly not understanding anything, or perhaps he was worried that Qin Shi Huang would really fry him—if the emperor said to fry him, then he would definitely be fried in a pot meticulously, as this concerned the emperor's word being law, although he had only ever heard of deep-frying before.
Baozi couldn't bear it any longer, so she rolled up her sleeves and said, "Alright, alright. I'll do it. You just learn from me."
Qin Shi Huang, Er Sha, and Li Si each pulled up a stool and sat at the table, holding bamboo chopsticks and looking over expectantly.
After preparing everything Baozi wanted, the Qin Dynasty's God of Cookery prostrated himself on the ground, sweating profusely. Baozi glanced at him and said, "Get up and learn. What can you learn like that? Footwork?"
While cutting tomatoes, Baozi looked at the frying pan and a few simple seasonings that the God of Cookery had prepared for her and said, "You have to put your heart into cooking, don't just make do with whatever you can find."
I chimed in from the side, "Listen carefully, you're incredibly lucky to be personally instructed by King Zheng."
The God of Cookery became even more reserved. Baozi looked at the snow-white patch of oil on the counter and then realized, "Oh, your equipment here is no good. I thought you were deceiving consumers—you'd make do with animal oil if you don't have vegetable oil."
While cutting the persimmon, Baozi said, "Oh, right, I'm also King Zheng."
Qin Shi Huang smiled and said, "No problem with applying oil."
I joked, "Our Baozi is also the Grand Marshal."
The fat man suddenly said awkwardly, "This... is also a matter of applying oil."
Baozi asked, "What does the Grand Marshal do?"
I said, "It's like the Minister of Defense, similar to my Grand Marshal of the Army in the Song Dynasty. Basically, wherever you point your hand, all the guns in the country will fire in that direction."
Baozi got so excited that she dropped a stack of earthenware jars. I yelled, "You spendthrift woman, you couldn't pay for this even if you sold yourself!" These are Qin Dynasty earthenware jars!
Baozi sneered: "I'm the Minister of Defense now. Except for Fatty, you all better behave yourselves!"
The God of Cookery's face was covered in even more sweat...
I glanced at Fatty Ying's expression and laughed, "Just kidding, you really think you can let a woman be the Grand Marshal?"
I know he wasn't reluctant to let Baozi take the position, but the Grand Marshal of Qin is still Wang Jian. If he were to dismiss Wang Jian without cause, and then appoint a woman as Grand Marshal, who knows what kind of trouble would arise? People in the Warring States period were petty and often fought to the death over a single word. If Wang Jian were to rebel, wouldn't Baozi become a femme fatale? Even Bao Si was a femme fatale back then, but she never thought of taking on any responsibility herself.
Qin Shi Huang said, "We must keep our word. When Wang Jian returns, we will make him hand over the tiger tally."
I knew this matter was finally settled. Baozi quickly stir-fried the vegetables and cooked the noodles. He first mixed a small bowl (which existed in the Qin Dynasty) and handed it to the cook, saying, "Try it first. Make it taste like this from now on."
The cook, carrying the bowl of noodles prepared for him by Prince Zheng and Grand Marshal Qin Shi Huang, noticed the Emperor glaring at him. Luckily, the quick-witted cook held the bowl aloft with both hands and presented it to the gloomy-faced Emperor. The fat man's anger vanished, replaced by delight. However, he didn't eat it immediately but instead passed it to Jing Ke, who then passed it to Li Si. Li Si, moved by their politeness in the presence of outsiders, said, "How can this be? Please, Your Majesty, eat first."
The fat man stepped aside and pulled out a cauldron: "I'll use this when I'm hungry..."
Finally, Fatty Ying once again demonstrated his enormous appetite, finishing off the entire pot of noodles...
For the sake of sustainable development, the God of Cookery was still rewarded with some soup, meaning he should continue to cook it in that style. Later, because he could make tomato and egg noodles, the chef gained the Emperor's special favor.
After slurping up his noodles, the fat guy wiped the sweat from his forehead and said to me and Baozi, "Do you want some too?"
Baozi and I: "...No need, we just finished eating roast whole lamb."
After finishing his meal, Qin Shi Huang effortlessly plugged in the game console, the television screen lit up, and he skillfully brought up 30 people to play.
I was speechless. What a typical incompetent ruler! All he does is eat and play, neglecting state affairs and issuing laws without restraint. I cautiously said, "Brother Ying, let's get down to business first."
The fat man controlled the soldier on the screen, dodging stray bullets with a few S-jumps, and shot down a fireball. He then asked intently, "What's up?"
Me: "...Tell me about building the Great Wall and the palaces. You don't need to do the burning of books and burying of scholars alive."
Qin Shi Huang then put down the game console and turned around: "What do you mean?"
The fat man's second son, Hu Hai, spotted the game console at a glance, cheered, and sat down to play.
I told Fatty Ying about the idea sheet. Fatty stroked his chin and said, "Well, I know. The Great Wall and the Imperial Mausoleum are already under construction. With the six kingdoms destroyed, it seems I won't have much to do."
I asked, puzzled, "Why are they all being repaired?"
The fat man waved his hand: "The sooner it's done, the better. There's still plenty of time to repair the silk now. We can finish it before we starve to death anyway, so there's no need to go through all that trouble and waste money. The only problem is that we're a bit short-handed—but we'll still pay them their wages."
My eyes welled up with tears. Who said Qin Shi Huang was cruel? This fat man in front of me is so kind.