Fengfeng said with a smile, "Old Liu, this is boring. We're all adults, why are you still playing the mysterious disappearance act? Besides, I wasn't planning on bothering you, so why are you running away?"
Liu Bang stammered, "No... I really didn't expect to see you again."
"Have you gone to hide from your debts? If you need money, just tell me. Don't you still have shares in my company?"
Liu Bang chuckled and said, "No need, you can take it and expand production. I actually came to collect an old debt, and now that I have the goods, I won't be able to see you anymore."
I hummed softly, "I won the world, but lost her..."
Fengfeng was also the kind of person who was easygoing and said in a carefree manner, "So you're out of town? When are you coming back? I'll treat you to a meal. Like I always say, even if a deal doesn't go through, we can still be friends."
We both suddenly fell silent, then simultaneously asked each other, "Are you alright?" Then silence returned. I groaned, clutching my cheek, "That's really annoying!"
Fengfeng asked in a slightly hoarse voice, "Do you still get up at night?"
Liu Bang: "Still three times a night."
Fengfeng said, "Take care of your health. After all, you're not an eighteen or nineteen-year-old lad anymore."
Liu Bang was speechless for a moment, then slowly hung up the phone. Suddenly, he slammed his hand on the table and exclaimed, "See that? That's what a woman is like!"
I laughed and said, "Yes, I know she's a woman—you never seemed to get up at night when you lived with us."
Liu Bang resolutely said, "I must see Fengfeng again."
I said with difficulty, "But you can't go back."
Liu Bang said, "Bring her here."
"this……"
Liu Bang grasped my hand and said, "I know you're in a difficult position, but for your brother Liu's sake, please think of a way. If all else fails, find a few men to kidnap her, and I'll send Fan Kuai to help you." No way! Old Fan was humiliated by me at the Hongmen Banquet and didn't even get to eat pork. How could he possibly be loyal to me?
"My difficulties are easy to overcome," I whispered, pointing to the bedroom door, "but can you overcome that tigress in your house?" Female bootlegger versus Han Dynasty Empress—any female writer out there who wants to write this story, feel free to use it!
Liu Bang said with a stern face, "Let me think about it some more."
I stood up and said, "Take your time thinking about it. I have to go back. There's no one to take care of Baozi."
Liu Bang saw me to the door and said, "If you really don't want to meet me here, Big Guy, let's go meet up with Fatty."
I said, "Okay, let's talk about it after Baozi is born—by the way, if you're lonely, I can take you to the Ming Dynasty. Zhu Yuanzhang likes that kind of thing, and he has lots of young girls there. I can send you ten or eight."
Liu Bang, with an air of having seen the ocean and finding it hard to be satisfied with a river, sighed, "Ah, I'm over forty years old, is this all for me? I just want to find someone to talk to."
"You talk so much you have to get up three times a night? I'm leaving. I'll make you my son's godfather when he's born."
Liu Bang nodded: "I won't bestow any other official titles. The title of King of the Parallel Shoulders will be hereditary and permanent. However, it can only be passed on to the eldest son. If you really have a whole football team of sons, and your grandfather has more than twenty of them, each traveling three thousand miles, rebelling against me, I can't stand it."
I laughed out loud, went out, got in the car, and sped off into the 21st century.
Baozi has called me quite a few times these past few days, partly because she's worried about her ancestor Xiang Yu, and partly because she's bored. Just now, I picked up another call on the road. As soon as she heard that everything was temporarily settled and I was on my way back, Baozi excitedly said, "Drive faster, come back quickly!"
I yelled, "You're even worse than Liu Bang's wife! Who urges a man to drive fast?"
Baozi laughed and said, "You just close your eyes and step on the gas, do you expect there to be anyone on the road? Stop talking nonsense and come back quickly."
That's true. I floored the accelerator, and the colorful lights outside the window flashed by, telling me in a unique way that the speed I was going was unprecedented. To be honest, I also missed my son a little; I haven't heard him throwing bricks in his mother's belly for several days.
After half a day, I finally arrived home safely. When I went inside, I saw Baozi, heavily pregnant, waiting for me in the living room. I quickly knelt down in front of her and said, "Let me hear what my son is doing."
Baozi pushed me away and said, "Listen later. Are you tired? Do you want to rest for a while?"
I casually said, "I'm not tired."
Baozi said happily, "If you're not tired, let's go!"
I asked in surprise, "Where are you going?" Only then did I notice that there was a large bag at her feet, containing toiletries and other odds and ends, as if she was going on a long trip.
Baozi said matter-of-factly, "Why don't we pick up Big Guy and the others and take them to Fatty's place for a while?"
"……Why?"
"What's the meaning of letting a big guy and his family live with a girl all the time?"
I chuckled and said, "What's it to you?" Who cares about this? Who's whose ancestor is this?
Baozi, unusually, said to me in a spoiled tone, "Let's go."
I suppressed a laugh and said, "Then you stay here, I'll go take Big Guy to Fatty and come right back."
Baozi angrily retorted, "Are you pretending to be confused or are you really stupid? So all my hard work was for nothing?" As she spoke, she kicked a bag on the ground.
Of course I know what she's thinking. The woman in front of me, who is nearly 10 months pregnant, has relapsed into her old habit of joining in the fun. So when she heard that Mulan and Liu Bang had returned, she couldn't resist!
I said earnestly, "Your due date is in about ten days, right?"
Baozi stammered, "Let's go have some fun for a few days and come back before then."
I jumped up and said, "Do you think this is a football game? This is about having a son! It's not always accurate!"
Seeing that I was angry, Baozi lowered his head and said, "Actually, it doesn't matter where the child is born."
I said firmly, "No, I can only go after I give birth!" Although hospitals are exorbitantly expensive these days, I'm still relatively more comfortable letting nurses who wear gloves and cover their faces like assassins deliver my baby. Fatty does have one assassin, but he's a master at killing, let alone delivering a baby; and the midwives on TV are even more ridiculous, they're like sports fans—just making a fuss on the sidelines.
Baozi retorted, "What's there to worry about? If all the children in the Qin Dynasty died at birth, would there even be a Han Dynasty?" Wow, your historical knowledge has improved!
I said, "Stop talking nonsense!"