The fourth answer was: There's a line of people going to the toilet...
I called every half hour, which puzzled Baozi, who asked, "How much money does this person owe you?"
They still hadn't returned by the time I fell asleep. I don't know if it was night or early morning, but there was a thumping sound in the corridor, as if a group had returned, which put my mind at ease. I thought I'd have to lead two idiots into tomorrow's competition, but Xiang Yu clearly stated he had no interest in the martial arts tournament.
As soon as it was light, I kicked open all the rooms that were occupied, but the people I found were a huge disappointment. It turned out that the people who had returned last night were Wu Yong, Jin Dajian, Xiao Rang, and other elderly and weak people who couldn't handle the physical strain. The person who brought them back was Tang Long, the Golden Leopard, and that guy was also drunk; he vomited like a spotted dog as soon as he got out of the taxi.
I glanced at the group of people in front of me, signaling to the strategist and Xiao that they could continue sleeping. Then I led Duan Jingzhu, whose eyes were red, and Tang Long, who was still a little unsteady on his feet, toward the stadium. Of course, Jin Dajian was also indispensable; I still needed him to get my ID.
With a grim face, I led them to the office that Secretary Liu had prepared for me. I checked my watch; it was a little past 7:20, but the crowd was already as large as it usually is at 8:00. Cameras were set up all around the venue, in the stands, and beside the podium, and reporters from various local stations were already conducting interviews in shifts. On the vast stadium field, except for a small area in the center, dozens of temporary competition barriers, each about half a foot high, had been erected overnight, with numbers on their bases. It seemed that due to the large number of people, multiple matches would be played simultaneously.
The staff approached me and asked me to give them the list of participants for today's competition. They also asked me to send a representative to draw lots. All participants were to gather in the center of the venue at 8:00 AM sharp, and anyone who was 10 minutes late would be considered to have forfeited.
I randomly copied four of the eight singles names that Xiao Rang had come up with and gave them to him, then asked him to draw lots.
After Jin Dajian forced out Duan Jingzhu and Tang Long's testimonies, Tang Long finally realized what was happening. He grabbed me and said, "You don't want me to go in, do you?"
I said coldly, "Why can't you go up?"
Tang Long floated around and said, "I sway even when I walk in a straight line!"
I said, "I don't care, it's your brothers' fault for not taking care of you."
Tang Long snatched my phone, dialed quickly, and shouted, "Brother Junyi, help! If you don't come back soon, you'll never see me again!"
A little while later, Duan Jingzhu returned from drawing lots, holding the match-up list. I gave him the ID card I had just made and told him, "From now on, you'll be called Zhang Xiao'er." Duan Jingzhu was quite happy, never expecting that his mediocre youngest brother could represent Liangshan in the competition. Tang Long glanced at the time; it was almost 8 o'clock. He dashed out and bought some tea eggs, saying, "My stomach is empty; I'm afraid I won't be able to beat them later." He looked rather pitiful, but those Liangshan people were too infuriating. If I didn't let them know my methods, the subsequent competitions would be impossible to hold.
Soon, an announcement came over the loudspeaker, instructing all participants who had drawn lots to assemble in the center of the field. Tang Long swallowed his last tea egg, choked, and asked me, "Can I not go?"
I poured him a glass of water, and he looked at me hopefully, thinking there was a chance. I said, "I would like to go in your place, but if I die, no one will give you money to go to Liangshan again."
Tang Long gave me a resentful look, then resolutely followed Duan Jingzhu out. I called after him, "Remember, your name now is Sister-in-law Huyan—"
Chapter Six: The Demise of Two Bandits
At 8:05, a staff member approached me and asked, "Director Xiao, where are your two contestants, Wu Qing and Bai Qian?" He sounded even more anxious than I was, probably because they were people Secretary Liu had given special attention to.
I said, "The time isn't up yet, is it? If you don't come in 5 more minutes, it'll be considered a forfeit." He stared at me speechlessly. Just then, Dai Zongyou appeared in front of us from the stadium entrance in a few instantaneous movements, shouting, "Coming, coming!"
I asked the staff to leave first, and then asked Dai Zong, "Why is it just you?"
Dai Zong said, "There was a traffic jam, so I brought Tie Niu first."
I looked behind him: "Where's Li Kui?"
Dai Zong slapped his thigh: "Oh no, I forgot to take off the armor on his leg."
When we went outside, we saw Li Kui running around the stadium, waving his arms and legs as he ran, yelling, "Dean Dai, take a break! I shouldn't have thrown wine at you yesterday!"
Dai Zong smiled sheepishly at me and said, "I used to tease this silly guy."
"You'd better get him back quickly, otherwise his legs will be worn out from running two more laps."
Dai Zongzheng was about to leave when I said, "We're still short two people for the competition. Can you go?"
While playing the paper horse game, Dai Zong said, "The field is too small for me to run. Tie Niu can go, and Dong Ping will be here soon." With that, he darted out, caught up with Li Kui from behind, snatched the paper horse from his leg, and shoved it into his hand. Due to inertia, Li Kui ran another half lap before stopping. Tens of thousands of spectators in the stadium witnessed the entire process of this large, dark-skinned man running around with those two pieces of paper, all wondering: How many did this guy win?
Li Kui ran up to me, panting, and shouted, "How can we fight without me, Tie Niu?"
Of all the heroes, Li Kui was the one I least wanted to use. That dark-skinned guy isn't bad, but he's too ruthless. Letting him play might cause me trouble. I stood on tiptoe and watched, seeing that Dong Ping had already run to the stadium entrance, and there was no one behind him.
I picked up a set of protective gear and said to him, "Put this on first, and we'll talk about it later if you can manage."
With the help of others, Li Kui dressed himself and said, "Don't say it's so easy; even if you put a millstone on me, I can still fight."
It seems there's no other choice now. If Dai Zong were to go, he'd be a nut to the neck for the referee, and Duan Jingzhu and Tang Long are probably unreliable. With Li Kui around, at least one spot can be secured. I put my hands on his shoulders and said, "Remember, in the upcoming duel, just win, no hurting anyone!" I turned to Jin Dajian and said, "Get Wu Qing and Bai Qian..." Jin Dajian silently slapped the two completed certificates into my hand. Looking at the photos, it was indeed Li Kui and Dong Ping. That's what you call specialization.
It's 8:12 now, and according to the rules, these two have already forfeited. The staff member, leading Li Kui and Dong Ping away, adjusted his watch forward by 5 minutes before leaving, probably trying to find an excuse to argue with the organizing committee. In fact, we were all overthinking it. With 179 teams and individuals participating, there were probably over 1000 people gathered on the field; there simply wasn't time to call everyone up, and the scene was quite chaotic. Today's competition was essentially a preliminary round, and the organizing committee simply didn't have the capacity to ensure everything was flawless.
These 1,000-plus people were placed into a huge match-up chart, which is more than 500 groups. They were then divided into morning and afternoon matches according to the last digit of their numbers. Of the four of us, Li Kui and Tang Long were both placed in the morning match, and then assigned to different arenas according to their numbers, each waiting for the referee to call their number to enter the ring.
In an instant, the entire stadium erupted in chaos. Coaches, athletes, and spectators packed the field, making it as crowded as a train station during the Spring Festival travel rush. Staff members trying to work had to crouch and weave through the throng. The stadium's loudspeakers blared hysterically, "Please leave the area! Please leave the area! Security! Security!" Their dozen or so poor security guards were trapped in the center of the crowd, barely able to protect themselves. Hats were crushed on the ground, their rubber batons snatched away by thugs, and their plastic vests, emblazoned with the word "Security," were torn to shreds by countless hands. A young security guard's head bobbed up and down in the throng, desperately crying out, "No, no..."
This situation was clearly unexpected by the organizers. They should have realized that this wasn't some kind of art fair, that the participants weren't of particularly high quality, and that the audience consisted of some of the most enthusiastic crowds in China—people who wouldn't listen to being told to leave.
I watched as the Liangshan heroes arrived in large numbers and took their seats in the VIP section. I hurriedly called Zhu Gui. Amidst the noise, I shouted, "Can you find Li Kui and Tang Long?" Then I saw Zhu Gui, his belly protruding, holding the phone in one hand and binoculars in the other, looking every bit the part of a founding marshal. After a while, he said, "There's a big, dark guy near station 25. Go check if that's him. I really can't find Tang Long."
I took off my shirt, rolled it up into a bundle, and carried it in my hand, shouting as I walked, "Lard, watch out for lard—" But it had little effect. People hadn't lost their common sense and logic; they knew that unless someone was mentally unstable, they couldn't possibly be carrying something so expensive. So I yelled again, "Get out of the way, you've soiled your pants—" This time the crowd immediately split in two, holding their noses as they watched me walk past. These people had never squeezed onto a train or attended a job fair; they knew that once the anal sphincter was caught in a people's war, it was particularly prone to opening and closing freely due to missed opportunities.
I went to boxing ring number 25 and spotted Li Kui immediately. I went up and patted him on the shoulder, but he was still awkwardly wearing boxing gloves. Turning around and seeing it was me, he complained, "These gloves make my fists way bigger, but they don't really hurt," he said, slamming his fists against his face repeatedly. "If only they were made of iron." The other fighters around him started giving us strange looks. I whispered a reprimand to him, "Don't talk nonsense. Be careful when you go up there." Then I asked him, "Where's Tang Long?"
"That kid seems to be on station number 8, dragging his feet because he doesn't want to go on."
I figured Tang Long was a blacksmith by trade, so that little bit of wine shouldn't be a problem. It was Li Kui's recklessness that was worrying. I asked him, "When are you going on stage?"
Li Kui clenched his fists excitedly and said, "I'm next!"
On stage, the two young men displayed skillful offense and defense, employing flexible tactics, including long-range kicks, close-range strikes, and grappling. The referee, also experienced, skillfully separated the grappling opponents, drawing cheers from the competitors and spectators.
Li Kui, however, found it extremely boring and kept shouting, "Kick him! Smash him! Hey, you trying to break up this fight, get out of the way!"
I was stunned for a moment, then immediately understood what he meant. I grabbed Li Kui tightly, pointed at the "fighter" and said to him, "You better remember this: he's the referee. Once you're up there, listen to him!"
Li Kui looked around and saw that there were others on other arenas as well, then said, "I thought he was just meddling in other people's business, and I was just thinking of going up and beating him down first."
Cold sweat trickled down my neck...