According to Yu Boya's recollection, Zhong Ziqi died of the flu back then, so he was quite worried at the moment. I comforted him, saying, "Don't worry, even if he has SARS or bird flu, I can cure him—we shouldn't let Teacher Zhong check on us before he takes the piano grade eight exam in the future."
Sun Quan sat at a table with Liu Bei and Cao Cao, casually glancing around. Liu Bei asked, "Brother Zhongmou, how did you get here?"
Sun Quan said, "Didn't Master Kongming write a letter to my Grand Commander about military strategy?" He suddenly pointed, "Hasn't Gongjin already arrived?" I looked over and saw that he was pointing at Yan Jingsheng. I couldn't help but ask in surprise, "Brother Sun, are you sure that person is Zhou Yu?"
Sun Quan said, "How could I be wrong when I've been with Gongjin day and night?"
Zhuge Liang, Guan Yu, and the others couldn't help but take another closer look at Yan Jingsheng, and they all said with amusement, "Principal Yan and Zhou Yu look exactly alike. I really didn't notice before."
Upon hearing this, Hua Mulan turned to look at Yan Jingsheng and said with a smile, "So the Grand Commander of Eastern Wu is here. I'll have to ask you for advice when we fight battles in the future."
Yan Jingsheng was flattered and said, "That's good...that's good too."
Guan Yu chuckled, "You know what, if you told me this kid was Zhou Yu in his past life, I'd actually believe it. Don't let his usual quiet demeanor fool you, he's never let you down when it really matters."
Sun Quan retorted, displeased, "How can you speak of my Wu talents like that—what do you mean by 'not letting us down'?"
When people saw that almost everyone had arrived, they all called out, "Xiaoqiang, say a few words and let's begin."
I was taken aback: "You're saying it again? You're all going to start making a fuss again!"
Everyone laughed: "No, no, we're giving your son face."
I walked hesitantly onto the stage, glanced down, and felt a wave of dizziness. I muttered, "With all of you gathered together, it's like a short history of China. Where am I supposed to begin?"
Everyone laughed: "Start from the day you became a god."
I slapped my thigh: "There's a lot to say about this—that day I was walking down the street without bothering anyone..." Speaking of this, I suddenly thought of Liu Laoliu. His sleazy and unreliable nature often made me feel a tacit understanding with him. I think I'll be like that when I get old...
Just then, Li Shishi suddenly ran up to me and whispered, "Cousin, Immortal Liu is here. Shouldn't you go out and greet him?"
I glanced at him and said, "Let him come in by himself!"
Li Shishi said, "He also has someone with him, which is inconvenient."
As I walked down from the stage, I turned back and instructed, "Hey you, Xiuxiu, Maosui, you two organize the program again, put together something emotional, to set the stage for singing 'Unforgettable Tonight' together at the end."
Chapter 215 The Cowherd
Hearing that Liu Laoliu was waiting for me outside, I couldn't help but quicken my pace. When I came out, I saw the old charlatan sitting on the railing with his back to me, smoking. Besides He Tiandou, there was another old man next to him, probably a new client he had brought. This scene was so familiar. Ignoring the others, I walked up to the old man and patted him on the shoulder, saying, "You're not dead yet?"
But Liu Laoliu didn't seem to be in the mood for arguing with me today. He turned around, silently stubbed out his cigarette on the railing, and said solemnly, "Xiaoqiang, I've come to say goodbye to you today."
I was taken aback. Although I knew this day would come, I was still a little saddened. I forced a smile and said, "Are you really going to die?"
Liu Laoliu said calmly, "My official duties in the mortal realm are complete; it's time for me to return."
"What about Lao He?"
Liu Laoliu said, "He'll come with me too."
"Old Liu, I haven't asked you yet, what official position do you hold in Heaven? If you don't have anything urgent to do, it wouldn't be too late to stay for a few more days. At least pay back the money you swindled from those victims before you leave, right?"
Liu Laoliu smiled mysteriously: "Speaking of this, there doesn't seem to be any official higher up than me."
I replied casually, "Yeah, you're light, you're electricity, you're Superstar, you're the Jade Emperor—when are you going to stop bragging? You're going to scare me to death."
Liu Laoliu still smiled and said, "Xiaoqiang, you should have this common sense: if a company is on the verge of bankruptcy, it's very easy to see its chairman. If there's no one in charge to mediate at this time, and they send a secretary who can't make decisions, then the work stoppage will be no joke. Think about it, has there ever been a thing I promised you that I haven't done? If I were really just a proxy, I'm afraid your mind-reading ability wouldn't be approved even in 30 years."
I exclaimed in surprise, "You're not really the Jade Emperor, are you?"
Liu Laoliu stood with his hands behind his back, confidently declaring, "That's me!"
Seeing that I didn't believe him, Liu Laoliu continued, "There's no point in corruption for a leader at my level. I still have to keep a straight face most of the time. I can't relax a bit when I finally get a business trip?"
I shuddered and said, "It's really hard to imagine you with that stern face. Does that mean you'll still be my boss? — Will I go to hell after I die?"
"To save all living beings in the Three Realms, I personally descended to the mortal realm to oversee this matter, and you brat still call me an old bastard and an old codger all the time. Normally, you would have been struck by lightning long ago!"
I didn't know if the old charlatan was telling the truth, but judging from He Tiandou's silent smile, the old guy probably wasn't joking this time. Thinking back on everything, I suddenly felt a pang of pain: I'd hurled almost every vile word at this old bastard (look, this paragraph alone uses both "old charlatan" and "old bastard"), and now it was probably too late to beg for mercy. I steeled myself, stamped my foot, and said, blustering but weak, "Haven't you struck me down enough times? In my past life, I owned a house and land; who struck me down to the pre-liberation era?"
Old Liu was taken aback and said, "Who told you that? You were just a tenant farmer in your past life. If you think that's interesting, I'll really chop you back to the pre-liberation era right now." As he said this, the old man secretly threatened me, "Xiao Qiang, a son of a wealthy family should not stand under a dangerous wall. You should cherish everything you have now."
A jumble of thoughts flashed through my mind. Suddenly, I grabbed Liu Laoliu's arm and said, "By the way, tell me clearly, who was I in my past life? Why have I been having the same dream for over ten years: I dream of seven naked women with amazing figures bathing in the river in front of me, and in the end, I even pick up the hottest one to be my wife—tell me the truth, was I a gigolo in my past life?"
The truth is out, comrades! Why can others have wild affairs with vixens and even develop prostate enlargement without any consequences, while I suffer a terrible fate after just one glance with a demon? It's a classic case of a rich girl marrying down, and her family taking revenge! So, Liu Laoliu was my father-in-law, and I deserve to have ruined his daughter!
Old Liu scratched his head and said, "You definitely couldn't have been a cowherd in your past life; you died a virgin. Also, don't forget that you died on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month. If it weren't for Seventh Girl's kindness, you would have been struck by eight more lightning bolts!"
I questioned, "Then what about my recurring dream of naked women bathing?"
Liu Laoliu said, "You started watching uncensored movies when you were 13, and you're asking me?"
I persisted, asking, "Then why are there seven?"
Liu Laoliu spread his hands and said, "Then why are there 7 dwarfs? Why 7 weapons? On the human axis, just our section has been alive for hundreds of thousands of years. Which number isn't mysterious and mystical?"
I'm speechless.
Liu Laoliu added, "Besides, you've read too much 'The Deer and the Cauldron'! You should have read 'Jin Ping Mei,' I guarantee you'd only dream of three..."
Seeing that we were getting more and more incoherent, He Tiandou coughed lightly. I casually asked, "What will Old He do after he goes back with you?"
Liu Laoliu said, "I will arrange a lucrative position for him."
He Tiandou walked up and smiled, "Xiao Qiang, I'm sorry you've suffered a lot over this long period of time."
I said, "It's all in the past. Besides, you didn't really make things difficult for me. You even left me a large sum of money."