Volume 1, pawnshop number [number missing] I won't be time-traveling in the first chapter, you guys go ahead. I'm so unlucky, really. Others travel through history to become powerful rulers or kings, or at the very least, return to the Ming Dynasty to become a prince. But I'm the one
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Chapter 1
Volume 1, pawnshop number [number missing]
I won't be time-traveling in the first chapter, you guys go ahead.
I'm so unlucky, really.
Others travel through history to become powerful rulers or kings, or at the very least, return to the Ming Dynasty to become a prince. But I'm the one who gets transported back in time. Yesterday, Liu Laoliu brought back this guy who turns out to be Jing Ke!
That's him, the guy who wanted to hold a concert before attempting to assassinate Qin Shi Huang.
The story needs to be told from the beginning.
That day, I was walking along, not bothering anyone, when as I passed the park's outer wall, a dirty old man waved his filthy, postmodern hand at me: "Little friend, you've got some fortune to tell today..."
As the saying goes, "boredom breeds trouble," and I, a completely idle person, squatted down in front of the old man, coughing and spitting, thinking that since I had nothing better to do, I might as well. The main reason I wasn't afraid he would cheat me was that I only had 5 yuan in my pocket.
I said with a grin, "Then you should first calculate my surname, the year I was born, and what I do. If you get it right, I'll give you the money."
The old charlatan shook his head with feigned authority: "Those are all tricks of charlatans, but I am a deity—and I ask you: do you want to be a deity too?"
What a brilliant opening! You wouldn't want to leave either, would you?
Anyway, I couldn't bear to leave. I guess this old man might write a whole book: "I see you have extraordinary talent and are a peerless master, one in a million... The task of maintaining world peace will be entrusted to you from now on."
But a master is a master. He said something amazing to me that made me worship him wholeheartedly, which led to a series of bad luck later on.
He told me, "The Baisha cigarettes you're smoking are fake!"
Upon hearing this, my immediate feeling was just like what a versatile reader on Qidian described: I felt like some kind of flower had somehow managed to do this or that to me...
I usually buy my cigarettes from the little tobacco shop across from my house, but today when I went out, I realized I was out of cigarettes. Turns out, the pack I bought was completely fake! No wonder people say that for a man, buying a pack of fake cigarettes is second only to discovering his wife isn't a virgin on his wedding night.
0.01 seconds after the old man said that, I knew I was going to lose the five yuan in my pocket.
What happened next can only be described as a complete turn of events.
"You could have become an immortal, but just before the Department of Immortal Affairs (on par with the Department of Personnel) was about to approve your application, you fell in love with a female demon. This matter itself was not a big deal, but it brought immeasurable public pressure to the immortal realm and a long-standing and difficult problem: what kind of moral standard should be used to judge someone who is about to become an immortal but has not yet done so?"
To be honest, my first instinct was that a Peking University professor was disguised as a charlatan conducting research on mental health. I even secretly looked around but didn't find anything that looked like a hidden camera.
"The Jade Emperor was very angry, and the consequences were severe. He originally intended to strike you with nine bolts of lightning, but since that day happened to be the seventh day of the seventh lunar month, he changed it to a single bolt of lightning at the urging of the Seventh Princess..."
I interrupted and asked, "What's the difference between being struck by lightning nine times and being struck by lightning once?"
"There's no difference, you're dead anyway."
I:"……"
"Later, the celestial realm reached a conclusion regarding your issue: that you should not be punished for falling in love with a fairy before you became an immortal."
I:"……"
"So they decided to retroactively register you. Now you have two choices: First, spend your life doing something for them, and after that, they'll naturally put you (this word makes me very uncomfortable) on the altar to become a god."
I was curious, so I asked, "What about the second option?"
"The second option was proposed by the Queen Mother of the West. This woman meant: Since you like that little demon, let's test you for three lifetimes. If you can be together in every lifetime, then you can become immortals together."
I straightened up and said, "The story is wonderful, but I haven't eaten yet. Bye-bye!"
However, this old charlatan grabbed me and asked, "What do I have to do for
……
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
Chapter 85
Chapter 86
Chapter 87
Chapter 88
Chapter 89
Chapter 90
Chapter 91
Chapter 92
Chapter 93
Chapter 94
Chapter 95
Chapter 96
Chapter 97
Chapter 98
Chapter 99
Chapter 100
Chapter 101
Chapter 102
Chapter 103
Chapter 104
Chapter 105
Chapter 106
Chapter 107
Chapter 108
Chapter 109
Chapter 110
Chapter 111
Chapter 112
Chapter 113
Chapter 114
Chapter 115
Chapter 116
Chapter 117
Chapter 118
Chapter 119
Chapter 120
Chapter 121
Chapter 122
Chapter 123
Chapter 124
Chapter 125
Chapter 126
Chapter 127
Chapter 128
Chapter 129
Chapter 130
Chapter 131
Chapter 132
Chapter 133
Chapter 134
Chapter 135
Chapter 136
Chapter 137
Chapter 138
Chapter 139
Chapter 140
Chapter 141
Chapter 142
Chapter 143
Chapter 144
Chapter 145
Chapter 146
Chapter 147
Chapter 148
Chapter 149
Chapter 150
Chapter 151
Chapter 152
Chapter 153
Chapter 154
Chapter 155
Chapter 156
Chapter 157
Chapter 158
Chapter 159
Chapter 160
Chapter 161
Chapter 162
Chapter 163
Chapter 164
Chapter 165
Chapter 166
Chapter 167
Chapter 168
Chapter 169
Chapter 170
Chapter 171
Chapter 172
Chapter 173
Chapter 174
Chapter 175
Chapter 176
Chapter 177
Chapter 178
Chapter 179
Chapter 180
Chapter 181
Chapter 182
Chapter 183
Chapter 184
Chapter 185
Chapter 186
Chapter 187
Chapter 188
Chapter 189
Chapter 190
Chapter 191
Chapter 192
Chapter 193
Chapter 194
Chapter 195
Chapter 196
Chapter 197
Chapter 198
Chapter 199
Chapter 200
Chapter 201
Chapter 202
Chapter 203
Chapter 204
Chapter 205
Chapter 206
Chapter 207
Chapter 208
Chapter 209
Chapter 210
Chapter 211
Chapter 212
Chapter 213
Chapter 214
Chapter 215
Chapter 216
Chapter 217
Chapter 218
Chapter 219
Chapter 220
Chapter 221
Chapter 222
Chapter 223
Chapter 224
Chapter 225
Chapter 226
Chapter 227
Chapter 228
Chapter 229
Chapter 230
Chapter 231
Chapter 232
Chapter 233
Chapter 234
Chapter 235
Chapter 236
Chapter 237
Chapter 238
Chapter 239
Chapter 240
Chapter 241
Chapter 242
Chapter 243
Chapter 244
Chapter 245
Chapter 246
Chapter 247
Chapter 248
Chapter 249
Chapter 250
Chapter 251
Chapter 252
Chapter 253
Chapter 254
Chapter 255
Chapter 256
Chapter 257
Chapter 258
Chapter 259
Chapter 260
Chapter 261
Chapter 262
Chapter 263
Chapter 264
Chapter 265
Chapter 266
Chapter 267
Chapter 268
Chapter 269
Chapter 270
Chapter 271
Chapter 272
Chapter 273
Chapter 274
Chapter 275
Chapter 276
Chapter 277
Chapter 278
Chapter 279
Chapter 280
Chapter 281
Chapter 282
Chapter 283
Chapter 284
Chapter 285
Chapter 286
Chapter 287
Chapter 288
Chapter 289
Chapter 290
Chapter 291
Chapter 292
Chapter 293
Chapter 294
Chapter 295
Chapter 296
Chapter 297
Chapter 298
Chapter 299
Chapter 300
Chapter 301
Chapter 302
Chapter 303
Chapter 304
Chapter 305
Chapter 306
Chapter 307
Chapter 308
Chapter 309
Chapter 310
Chapter 311
Chapter 312
Chapter 313
Chapter 314
Chapter 315
Chapter 316
Chapter 317
Chapter 318
Chapter 319
Chapter 320
Chapter 321
Chapter 322
Chapter 323
Chapter 324
Chapter 325
Chapter 326
Chapter 327
Chapter 328
Chapter 329
Chapter 330
Chapter 331
Chapter 332
Chapter 333
Chapter 334
Chapter 335
Chapter 336
Chapter 337
Chapter 338
Chapter 339
Chapter 340
Chapter 341
Chapter 342
Chapter 343
Chapter 344
Chapter 345
Chapter 346
Chapter 347
Chapter 348
Chapter 349
Chapter 350
Chapter 351
Chapter 352
Chapter 353
Chapter 354
Chapter 355
Chapter 356
Chapter 357
Chapter 358
Chapter 359
Chapter 360
Chapter 361
Chapter 362
Chapter 363
Chapter 364
Chapter 365
Chapter 366
Chapter 367
Chapter 368
Chapter 369
Chapter 370
Chapter 371
Chapter 372
Chapter 373
Chapter 374
Chapter 375
Chapter 376
Chapter 377
Chapter 378
Chapter 379
Chapter 380
Chapter 381
Chapter 382
Chapter 383
Chapter 384
Chapter 385
Chapter 386
Chapter 387
Chapter 388
Chapter 389
Chapter 390
Chapter 391
Chapter 392
Chapter 393
Chapter 394
Chapter 395
Chapter 396
Chapter 397
Chapter 398
Chapter 399
Chapter 400
Chapter 401
Chapter 402
Chapter 403
Chapter 404
Chapter 405
Chapter 406
Chapter 407
Chapter 408
Chapter 409
Chapter 410
Chapter 411
Chapter 412
Chapter 413
Chapter 414
Chapter 415
Chapter 416
Chapter 417
Chapter 418
Chapter 419
Chapter 420
Chapter 421
Chapter 422
Chapter 423
Chapter 424
Chapter 425
Chapter 426
Chapter 427
Chapter 428
Chapter 429
Chapter 430
Chapter 431
Chapter 432
Chapter 433
Chapter 434
Chapter 435
Chapter 436
Chapter 437
Chapter 438
Chapter 439
Chapter 440
Chapter 441
Chapter 442
Chapter 443
Chapter 444
Chapter 445
Chapter 446
Chapter 447
Chapter 448
Chapter 449
Chapter 450
Chapter 451
Chapter 452
Chapter 453
Chapter 454
Chapter 455
Chapter 456
Chapter 457
Chapter 458
Chapter 459
Chapter 460
Chapter 461
Chapter 462
Chapter 463
Chapter 464
Chapter 465
Chapter 466
Chapter 467
Chapter 468
Chapter 469
Chapter 470
Chapter 471
Chapter 472
Chapter 473
Chapter 474
Chapter 475
Chapter 476
Chapter 477
Chapter 478
Chapter 479
Chapter 480
Chapter 481
Chapter 482
Chapter 483
Chapter 484
Chapter 485
Chapter 486
Chapter 487
Chapter 488
Chapter 489
Chapter 490
Chapter 491
Chapter 492
Chapter 493
Chapter 494
Chapter 495
Chapter 496
Chapter 497
Chapter 498
Chapter 499
Chapter 500
Chapter 501
Chapter 502
Chapter 503
Chapter 504
Chapter 505
Chapter 506
Chapter 507
Chapter 508
Chapter 509
Chapter 510
Chapter 511
Chapter 512
Chapter 513
Chapter 514
Chapter 515
Chapter 516
Chapter 517
Chapter 518
Chapter 519
Chapter 520
Chapter 521
Chapter 522
Chapter 523
Chapter 524
Chapter 525
Chapter 526
Chapter 527
Chapter 528
Chapter 529
Chapter 530
Chapter 531
Chapter 532
Chapter 533
Chapter 534
Chapter 535
Chapter 536
Chapter 537
Chapter 538
Chapter 539
Chapter 540
Chapter 541
Chapter 542
Chapter 543
Chapter 544
Chapter 545
Chapter 546
Chapter 547
Chapter 548
Chapter 549
Chapter 550
Chapter 551
Chapter 552
Chapter 553
Chapter 554
Chapter 555
Chapter 556
Chapter 557
Chapter 558
Chapter 559
Chapter 560
Chapter 561
Chapter 562
Chapter 563
Chapter 564
Chapter 565
Chapter 566
Chapter 567
Chapter 568
Chapter 569
Chapter 570
Chapter 571
Chapter 572
Chapter 573
Chapter 574
Chapter 575
Chapter 576
Chapter 577
Chapter 578
Chapter 579
Chapter 580
Chapter 581
Chapter 582
Chapter 583
Chapter 584
Chapter 585
Chapter 586
Chapter 587
Chapter 588
Chapter 589
Chapter 590
Chapter 591
Chapter 592
Chapter 593
Chapter 594
Chapter 595
Chapter 596
Chapter 597
Chapter 598
Chapter 599
Chapter 600
Chapter 601
Chapter 602
Chapter 603
Chapter 604
Chapter 605
Chapter 606
