Liu Laoliu and He Tiandou: "..."
Seeing that the two of them looked quite serious, I quickly replied in a serious tone, "What good will it do you to find these points?"
He Tiandou arrogantly waved the paper in his hand: "We call this paper the dot chart. On this chart, Qin Shi Huang only has three dots, and Xiang Yu only has two dots."
"……What's the meaning?"
Liu Laoliu said smugly, "This means that Qin Shi Huang only needed to do three things to get away with things in his life, while Xiang Yu only needed two. Once they finished those two or three things, wouldn't they have been able to relax the rest of the time?"
In an instant, it dawned on me, and I exclaimed with delight, "So, if they just complete a few representative tasks on this list, they can stop worrying about historical repercussions and comfortably start over as themselves?"
The two old charlatans nodded slowly.
Chapter 106 A List of Shameless Ideas
Now my identity has changed again. After being a heartless pawnshop manager, I've become a trainee deity, the principal of Yucai Martial Arts School, and now, I'm a card repairman... and a fraudulent one at that. We know that the party that owns the card reader is usually the stronger party, like a bank. I wonder if I'll be sued if I try to get more money from Brother Tiandao.
I glanced at the paper in He Tiandou's hand and reached out. He Tiandou, however, withdrew his hand, fanning himself and saying to Liu Laoliu, "I think I just heard someone calling us two old geezers—"
Liu Laoliu said leisurely, "Yes, they even said something about two old bachelors or something."
I quickly smiled apologetically and said, "You two are both my grandfathers, my ancestors!"
Liu Laoliu said, "That's not right, we're all old bachelors, where would we have come from..."
Before he could finish speaking, I snatched the paper from He Tiandou's hand when he wasn't looking and cursed, "You two old geezers are really pushing your luck."
Liu Laoliu looked at the speechless He Tiandou and stamped his foot, saying, "Why aren't you on guard against him? Especially when we're finally able to hold our heads high."
He Tiandou said aggrievedly, "Who would have thought? I've never seen anything like this before."
Liu Laoliu sighed, "We've never had any good working relationship. Lao He, I'm not trying to be mean, but have you been spending too much time with those Westerners after you went down to the mortal realm? All that gentlemanly stuff doesn't work at all. You have to be as wary of Xiao Qiang as you are of me!"
He Tiandou and I: "..."
I turned my back and carefully examined the contents of the paper. It was covered with tiny characters, each the size of an ant's head, and each square represented a dynasty. I looked first at the square for Qin Shi Huang. It simply said "Qin Dynasty," followed by the three characters "Qin Shi Huang" in parentheses. His three tasks were: unifying the six kingdoms, building the Great Wall, and constructing the underground Qin Shi Huang Mausoleum. This short line encapsulated an entire dynasty. Following the fat man was Qin Er Shi (Hu Hai), whose name was followed by a few simple words: "Destroyed by the allied forces of Liu Bei and Xiang Yu."
When I looked at Xiang Yu's account, it was just a few words: the Feast at Hongmen, losing the Battle of Gaixia.
Seeing this, I couldn't help but feel a little alarmed; this point is truly ruthless. Qin Shi Huang's unification of the six kingdoms goes without saying. While the Great Wall he built is a world wonder for posterity, it was a disaster for the people at the time. Whether the Great Wall could even defend against the Xiongnu is another matter; it laid a solid foundation for later peasant uprisings. Add to that the fact that he built his underground palace, and the still-unstable Qin Empire immediately teetered on the brink of collapse. These three points constitute Qin Shi Huang's life; it's fair to say that anyone who did these three things could have become the Qin Shi Huang whose reputation is so ambivalent in later generations. As for Hu Hai, he was merely a fleeting figure in history; his historical mission was simply to get rid of others…
Xiang Yu fared even worse. The Feast at Hongmen and the Battle of Gaixia were essentially the two biggest turning points in his life. At the Feast at Hongmen, if he had killed Liu Bang, he would have essentially secured seven-tenths of the empire. Even with Han Xin and Zhang Liang by his side, Liu Bang might not have been truly loyal. After the Feast at Hongmen, Xiang Yu still held the upper hand, and logically, he had no reason to fail. But history cannot be rewritten in this way. Therefore, the defeat at Gaixia, regardless of all his victories and glories throughout his life, effectively sealed Xiang Yu's fate.
I asked He Tiandou, "Is this accurate?" It was a bit unethical, but better than blindly stumbling around like a headless fly. At least the Epang Palace wasn't on this list, saving the material for Fatty Ying to build another playground.
He Tiandou said, "It can't be wrong. This is not something we summarized ourselves, but rather something we copied down from the records of the past movements of the Heavenly Dao. It's as if every word is an instruction from the Heavenly Dao."
I said, "That's fine then. I need to go to Brother Ying's place again in the next day or two. Since there was no burning of books and burying of scholars alive, let's hope he kills fewer people."
Liu Laoliu suddenly said, "You probably won't have time in the next day or two."
I said confidently, "Yes, and I happen to be free..."
Liu Laoliu said solemnly, "You have to make a trip to the Northern Song Dynasty."
I asked, puzzled, "Why would I go to the Northern Song Dynasty?"
Liu Laoliu said, "Take a look at the list of items for the Northern Song Dynasty first."
I looked down and searched for a long time before finally finding a line of small print: The Northern Song Dynasty was destroyed by the Jin Dynasty.
Above this line of text are the names of emperors from Zhao Kuangyin to Emperor Zhezong of Song. Each of them had their own role to play—they all had their own tasks. But with Emperor Huizong, it's just this one line of small characters. This old fellow, like Huhai, made his greatest contribution to history by squandering the empire of his ancestors.
I laughed and said, "That's great, simple and clear. What should I do there?"
Liu Laoliu said, "Fang La has started his rebellion ahead of schedule."
I scratched my head and said, "That's not right. Fang La was my carpenter. Did he go back?" I just saw him at the meeting.
"Fang La didn't go back, but didn't those 54 heroes go back? Once they went back, the original trajectory was gone, so it's not surprising that Fang La rebelled ahead of schedule in that era. It's like Qin Wuyang being knocked unconscious by you after Qin Shi Huang and the others went back; it's a chain reaction."
I said, "Then what should we do?"
Liu Laoliu said, "The one who tied the knot must untie it. This matter still rests with the heroes of Liangshan. In short, you have to go back and stop Fang La."
I said, annoyed, "Why do this? Let them rebel if they want."
Liu Laoliu shook his head and said, "If Fang La rebels, he could very well destroy the Northern Song Dynasty in one fell swoop, and the Northern Song Dynasty must be destroyed by the Jin Dynasty. That is the biggest problem."
I was speechless. "It can't be that bad, can it?"
He Tiandou interjected, "Fang La and Song Jiang, as peasant uprising armies similar to Li Zicheng's later ones in the Northern Song Dynasty, were very powerful. However, because they ultimately failed to overthrow the dynasty, they are rarely mentioned in official history. There were many reasons for their failure, but it's hard to say what would have happened if they had tried again. At that time, the Northern Song regime was already extremely corrupt..."
I said, "That settles it. In short, the ending is that they'll be wiped out by the Jin."
He Tiandou spoke eloquently: "It's different. Remember, it's only the government that gets defeated, not the nation. If the Northern Song Dynasty could truly achieve unity of purpose, the Jin Dynasty would have no chance of winning. If Fang La had seized power first, it would have been equivalent to the Northern Song Dynasty being destroyed before the Jin Dynasty's invasion, which would be contrary to the will of Heaven. Don't forget that Liangshan hadn't been granted amnesty yet at that time. Without this fatal enemy, Fang La might have actually become emperor."
I spread my hands and said, "Then what do you want me to do? This business is hopeless without a whole group of Saint-level mages."
He Tiandou said, "That's why I'm sending you to find the people of Liangshan. Fortunately, Song Jiang is determined to be granted amnesty. Go find him, then take him to see Li Shishi. Li Shishi will introduce Song Jiang to Emperor Huizong of Song, and the amnesty will be granted, and Fang La will be eliminated. In this way, history can be reversed."
I felt a chill run down my spine: "How come not a single thing is human?"
He Tiandou said earnestly, "I understand how you feel, but there's nothing I can do. Actually, you don't need to feel guilty. Even if Fang La wins the world, he can't change history. A great war will only drag more people into the conflict. If you can resolve this matter as soon as possible, it will save the people from their suffering. Also, I'm afraid you have no choice but to do this—look at Liangshan on the list."
I didn't expect that everyone could be here. When I looked again, I found that there was a Liangshan site not far from Emperor Huizong of Song: Fang La!