I broke out in a cold sweat. Luckily, the book titles were arranged from top to bottom, otherwise I don't know how I would have read them. I put the book away and said, "We don't have time to read this anymore, let's think of another way."
Qin Shi Huang asked, "Where is that girl playing?"
Liu Bang excitedly said, "Yes, yes, yes, start with my father-in-law, it will be twice as effective. If I hadn't won over Old Lü back then, he wouldn't have married his daughter to me, and I wouldn't have been able to rise to power."
We all looked at Li Shishi, who said awkwardly, "I only chatted with her for a few minutes, how would I know such details?"
I took a number from my phone and wrote it down for her: "This is Wang Jing's number, the little sister you just met. These next few days, harass her whenever you have free time. First, talk to her about Li Bai, then try to get information out of her. If all else fails, I'll have Shi Qian follow Zhang Bing."
Li Shishi wrote down the phone number and said, "There's another very useful piece of information. Zhang Bing is now a campus beauty, and she has many suitors. On the short walk from the dorm to the library, 17 people greeted her." This girl is quite observant. It seems we can't ignore her; we should promote her. To attract girls, you first need girls; this is a way of knowing your enemy and yourself.
I said seriously, "Well, that's a problem. Zhang Bing has a nickname, 'Zhang Half-City,' which means that she has as many men pursuing her as half a city."
Xiang Yu was furious.
Jing Ke patted Xiang Yu's hand and said, "I can help you kill some." Xiang Yu looked at him gratefully.
I was sweating profusely: "...The people are not afraid of death, so why threaten them with death? Killing is not the solution. We don't need to worry about those small fry. Right now, the most powerful people are a basketball player and their student council president—my cousin. We need information on both of them too!"
Li Shishi quickly wrote it down.
"If necessary, you'll have to sacrifice your looks to open up a second front, making them fight over you. Of course, this is a last resort only if Brother Yu can't resist."
Li Shishi glared at me. I pretended not to see it, put my hands behind my back, and said, "A certain great historian once said that picking up girls boils down to five words: 'Pan, Xian, Deng, Xiao, Lv.' Pan refers to Pan An's good looks, and Brother Yu, you're actually quite handsome; Xian means having free time, which you have; Deng means having money, and I'll scrimp and save to support you; Xiao is a bit of a problem, Brother Yu, your charisma is unparalleled, would you really act like a clown for a woman?"
"clown?"
"Uh, you mean the puppets you guys used to talk about, like if she asked you to bark like a dog, would you do it?"
Xiang Yu slammed his hand on the table, making the cups, goblets, and even the book "The Nun Yu Bei Ren Wang Jun" bounce around. We all thought he would say, "I'll just slap him!" But instead, Xiang Yu's face turned red, and he remained silent for a long time.
I quickly said, "You don't need to answer. Actually, your masculinity is a kind of charm. I don't think Zhang Bing would like a man who barks like a dog, otherwise she would have been with the student council president long ago."
Xiang Yu pressed further, "And the last one? What does 'donkey' refer to?"
I chuckled awkwardly, trying to brush this off, but when I finished laughing, I saw all the men staring at me expectantly, waiting for me to speak. I could only chuckle awkwardly again: "Well... everyone here except my cousin has one, so I won't explain."
Li Shishi was so ashamed she wanted to disappear into the ground. Although she came from a rather unusual background, she was still a person of the past and couldn't bear this. She suddenly bit her lip and said, "Which great sage said this?"
"Uh... Kong..." When I saw her serious expression, I knew she was a supporter of Confucius, so I quickly changed my words to "Meng... Sun... well, anyway, it was something Confucius said."
She said with a smile, "Was it the old woman who said that?" It turned out she really knew Wang Po.
I picked up the ashtray and slammed it on the table, making a louder sound than Xiang Yu's, and even creating a smoke effect. I shouted, "Now that the enemy and our situation are clear, let's move on to the strategic deployment phase. Before that, we need to give this operation a code name. I suggest we call it 'Operation Pick Up Girls'."
Li Shishi pouted, "That's awful!" She then repeatedly exclaimed, "It's really awful!"
Jing Ke: "A decapitation strike!" Qin Shi Huang hurriedly waved his hand: "Don't talk nonsense!"
"Then cousin, give us a nice name."
Li Shishi said, "Anyway, we can't call it a womanizing operation. Brother Xiang is pursuing that lost love, so let's call it 'Remembering the Bygone Years'."
I said, "Brother Yu, do you want your wife to remember you?"
Xiang Yu said, "Of course I want to."
"Then we can't just reminisce; let's come up with something sweeter."
Li Shishi: "My hand through your black hair?"
"...Is this the first move of the Eighteen Touches?"
Just then, the floorboards creaked, and I knew someone had come in; it was Baozi, she had the key.
Sure enough, Baozi came upstairs, eating a mung bean popsicle and carrying a plastic bag. She glanced at us and said while changing her shoes, "What are you doing locked up inside in broad daylight?"
We were seriously discussing the codename for this operation when she returned, but no one greeted her; they all just stared at her without saying a word.
Baozi kicked one of his leather shoes onto the shoe rack, his toes nimbly slipping into a slipper. He glanced at us again, then realized something was wrong and shouted, "Hey, what are you doing?"
As soon as Baozi unleashed his power, Qin Shi Huang, Jing Ke, and Liu Bang all exclaimed in unison: "To woo women—"
"Hey?" Baozi hurriedly kicked off his other shoe and ran over excitedly in his slippers: "Who is it?"
“Big guy,” I said to her.
Baozi spread the plastic bag out on the table: "Take one each, and put the rest in the fridge right away." She grabbed Li Shishi's notebook, glanced at it, and said, "What are you writing in here?"
We each picked up an ice pop and ate it. Liu Bang said, "I'll have a mung bean one too." Qin Shi Huang handed one to Xiang Yu and said, "Here's one with cream on it."
The room was filled with the crunching sound of people munching on popsicles. Baozi glanced around, then asked us, puzzled, "What kind of girl are you chasing? Do you have any pictures?"
I said, "No photo. She's a student from C University, a dancer." Baozi asked Xiang Yu, "How did she get on top? Is she pretty?"
I pressed her down on the stool and said, "Don't ask. You just need to know that Big Guy can't live without her. Give me some advice, but don't say anything useless."
Apart from her, the rest of us ate our popsicles in silence, looking preoccupied. Baozi realized the seriousness of the situation and moved her stool forward: "How old is that girl? Where is she from?"
Li Shishi tutored her: "She's a third-year student, from the local area, and her name is Zhang Bing."
"Let me do the math. A junior in college, that means he's twenty-two or twenty-three. He should be looking for a partner right after graduation. You've got a chance, tall guy. Do you even know what your parents do?"
Li Shishi shook her head: "We are about to investigate."
"Yes, yes, we need to hurry. Girls this age are usually kept under close watch by their families. Once their parents agree, it's practically a done deal."
Liu Bang immediately said, "See? It's just as I thought, isn't it?"