Un joven errante

Capítulo 83

The woman was pale and haggard, covered in unhealed wounds, and silently grieved.

Qingci had left her side to save her, leaving her no choice but to believe him. How could she not believe him?

Must she wait until everyone around her is hurt before she chooses to believe, and until then, selfishly deceiving herself? She gently shook her head; she couldn't. Those were people she cared about; she couldn't stand idly by, she couldn't be a detached outsider!

"What should I do so that I don't hurt the people around me?" The woman's tone was weak and self-deprecating.

“No emotions. A person without emotions would not commit the Calamity of Tumi.” The old priest’s voice was cruel and cold.

The woman lowered her head, and a strange expression suddenly appeared on her silent face: "Is this why you rushed here before I woke up and made me take the Forgetfulness Pill before they saw me?"

The old priest looked at her sadly: "This old servant has only ever wanted what's best for her master."

The woman chuckled coolly, "For my own good?"

She even forgot many things about him, so no matter what he did, how indifferent he was to her afterward, or even how coldly he killed her in that place filled with longing and love, she still didn't blame him or resent him.

If this is the path she was destined to choose, even if she is destined to be alone for life because of her choice, she will not regret it, never will.

Even if she can't always be there to protect and comfort them, at least she can ensure that their unwavering devotion won't be harmed, and that they won't suffer any harm because of her.

If this could lessen everything fate had dealt her, including the calamities, then she would willingly submit.

"Even now, Master, are you still not giving up? Haven't you given up yet?"

"Hehe..." The woman, covered in wounds, laughed with a poignant beauty, a laugh filled with sorrow and despair.

“Old priest, if this is the result you expected, then I promise you, I will take the medicine. I will forget everything, and then become a dutiful master. I will let all those who live according to that New Year find their own place.” The woman’s eyes were filled with tears, but she still smiled, like a clown who was suddenly watching a clown’s performance and forced a smile.

But where in this world does she belong?

Fate was truly a tragic joke for her.

"Not knowing the joy of life, nor the fear of death, better to forget each other in the vast world than to cling together in misery. We are destined to meet but not to be together in this life; let the living not rejoice, and the dead not grieve," the woman murmured. Her gaze was sorrowful, and tears welled in her eyes without her realizing it. The years have passed; who can keep my youthful beauty forever? Tears remain, but my heart is wounded beyond repair.

It's better to forget each other in the vast world than to cling together in hardship!

Is this the inevitable ending?

She smiled desperately, like clearing away dust in the dark night, moving towards the birth of light, like the alluring red flower on a cactus that still stands proudly amidst the dust in an endless desert. She sighed deeply, then closed her eyes, tilted her head back, and swallowed the pill that was almost shattered in her hand.

In my dream, there was a pair of familiar, deep eyes, silver and purple, filled with pain, infatuation, pity, longing, hope, and... infatuation.

Her closed heart still ached slightly. She felt as if she had fallen into an abyss, the sound of the wind still lingering in her ears. She knew there was no way to turn back, and there was no branch or vine around her to grab onto.

In the end, she and he could only fall together into her precipice, the weight of their fall enough for them to perish over a lifetime. And now, she indulged her body in the darkness, sinking and sinking.

Perhaps she will never wake up, or perhaps nothing will have changed when she wakes up tomorrow. Who knows? Even God cannot predict everyone's fate, let alone a woman quietly existing in this world...

The evening clouds are thick; where is my beloved? Only the returning crows remain.

Don't say that the sound of flowers dwells within, for the one who cherished them is gone, and the flowers are left without an owner. In this world, the calm sink, and the floating float.

The Swallow Tower is empty, shrouded in dust, a lone stringed instrument. I look up at the sky, still dazzlingly blue, but in the distance, a wisp of cloud hangs out abruptly in the air, like a crack.

I frowned slightly, finally turning around, and unconsciously touched the scar on my chest; it still seemed to throb faintly. He hadn't even been awake for a few hours, yet he had come here so eagerly. I didn't understand why he would do this.

I thought I could see a lot, but when his sword pierced Sima Rui's body, I really didn't understand.

Moreover, even though I barely woke up today, Sima Rui is still unconscious, seemingly in a state of suspended animation, or feigned death. And I don't know if I can save him.

I stared coldly at the old man who was being forcibly pressed to the ground and said quietly, "Is this the price you're paying me? Just because I didn't go back with you."

His expressionless face twitched slightly, but there was a kind of sorrow in his eyes, a sorrow that seemed to say something you wouldn't understand. He opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something, but he couldn't utter a word.

Suddenly, Little White, who had been silently perched on the windowsill, sighed softly as I was lost in thought.

I was slightly puzzled.

Then he began to tell me a long, very long story, almost lost to the flow of history.

After I finished listening, my gaze towards the old man was filled with astonishment, pity, and an indescribable complexity. I didn't know if it was because of him or because of that enchanting man in red who left his mark on my memory.

Several streaks of white had appeared at his temples, and deep wrinkles etched his forehead. A jarring, ugly red scar, like a winding snake, adorned his neck. He was devoid of any emotion, numb and apathetic, existing in the world like a ghost, except for one time when he was enraged and insisted on traveling a thousand miles from the Later Qin Dynasty to find me.

All because he, this unassuming old man, was actually Yuwen Mijin, the Later Qin emperor who had mysteriously died and disappeared that year! Among the emperors of Later Qin, Yuwen Mijin was the most enigmatic. Not long after his ascension, half of him vanished from the world, leaving the people of Later Qin baffled for seven generations. After his disappearance, his younger brother, the current Later Qin emperor Yuwen Wenhan, appeared. The entanglements here were unexpectedly complex.

I lowered my head and remained silent.

However, what shocked me even more was that Yuwen Ruojian, the strangest and most mysterious seventh prince, the true master of Later Qin, was not the child of the current emperor Yuwen Wennan, but... the biological son of Yuwen Mijin, who mysteriously disappeared all those years ago!!

For a moment, I suddenly understood why, even when he stood at the highest point in his red robes, so small yet so alluring and bewitching, all I saw was... desolation, and a hidden sorrow.

175 Boundless

Nineteen years ago, on a silent and eerie night, the clouds overhead seemed to press down on the city, creating a suffocating atmosphere.

Everything seemed like a premonition. A calm and uneventful premonition.

The cry of an infant shattered the tranquility of the Later Qin dynasty. The most prestigious priest of the court declared that this child was born with the qualities of a dragon, his cry like the cry of a celestial horse, Dao Li, suspended in mid-air. The *Mu Tianzi Zhuan* states: "The Son of Heaven's steeds are: Red Steed, Dao Li, White Righteous, Over-the-Wheel, Mountain Horse, Qu Yellow, Flowery Chestnut, and Green Ear." On Mount Macheng dwells a beast, resembling a white dog with a black head, which flies upon seeing people; its name is Celestial Horse. Dao Li is a divine beast of heaven, a harbinger of good fortune. Thus, everyone knew that this newborn child was the future ruler.

However, few people knew these words. This was because the day this child was born was also the day Yuwen Wenhan, the younger brother of the current emperor Yuwen Mijin, plotted a rebellion. The priest was secretly murdered shortly after uttering these words.

On that day, in a secluded place, Emperor Yuwen Mijin was imprisoned in a secret chamber within the Later Qin palace, where he was deprived of sunlight and subjected to the most cruel torture of muteness, his vocal cords severed, causing him unbearable pain. He remained imprisoned in that dark and gloomy place, eking out a living like a beast.

Meanwhile, in the palace, everyone was puzzled as to why their king had suddenly disappeared. The Ming King, who was deeply devoted to his brother, finally broke down in tears, almost wanting to die with his missing brother. He was stopped by some ministers, who were deeply moved by the brotherly love and loyalty of the Ming King. With the throne vacant for more than a month, fearing that the country would become unstable if things continued this way, they unanimously elected the Ming King as the new emperor. After declining the offer many times, the Ming King finally ascended the throne he had always dreamed of amidst the expectations of the people.

He had a deep affection for his elder brother, and to outsiders, he always respected and loved his brother, so he would never have any intention of rebelling. Thus, this absurd succession ceremony was completed.

The infant born that day was switched by the new emperor, Yuwen Wenhan, with a clever trick, becoming one of his children, conceived by his first wife. He could commit treason and disrespect, but he remembered the priest's hateful curse: if he harmed the infant, he would defy the will of Heaven and be punished. A person who commits many evil deeds becomes guilty and cautious. He feared divine retribution after the infant's death, but also feared that the infant might grow up and learn something that would lead to his murder. Therefore, he made the infant one of his own children. The child's mother, that woman, he sent her away from the palace. He chose to neglect and ignore him from a young age, preventing him from being taught the ways of the world, the ways of a ruler, believing that this would make him weak and incompetent. He always thought this would ensure a peaceful life.

However, he overlooked the hidden power of the late emperor. One of the late emperor's confidants endured humiliation and lived in seclusion by Yuwen Mijin's side for ten years before gaining his trust. Before that, he had been secretly finding someone to teach the late emperor's posthumous son both literature and martial arts, so that he would conceal his talents from a young age and wait for his time to come. During these ten years, he had also been trying to find a way to rescue the late emperor.

Finally, ten years later, he had an opportunity to rescue the late emperor and get him out of the palace. Before he left, he told Yuwen Ruojian, who was only ten years old at the time but had matured early and knew how to hide his true feelings amidst the emperor's neglect, his perceived indifference from his mother, and the bullying from his other brothers.

However, the man who had dedicated his life to his master ultimately passed away after seeing off the late emperor. A small oversight allowed Yuwen Mijin to discover everything. Thus, he never left the palace for the rest of his life. Enraged, Yuwen Mijin chopped off his limbs and threw him into a snake pit, his death gruesome. Moreover, while doing this, suspecting that Yuwen Ruojian already knew everything and was considering whether to kill her, Yuwen Mijin deliberately ensured that the ten-year-old Yuwen Ruojian was present, forcing the young boy to witness the only person in the world who had ever been kind to him die such a tragic death.

Although young Yuwen Ruojian felt like he was dying countless times from the pain in his heart, he still watched expressionlessly as that person suffered a fate worse than death before him. Because he knew that person also wanted him to be strong.

Having understood the whole truth, Yuwen Ruojian, who had been deceived and humiliated for so many years, vowed revenge when the man disappeared into the snake-infested cave and when Yuwen Mijin looked at him with a cruel expression. He vowed to make the man who claimed to be his father, yet caused his family to be destroyed and his mother to be sold into a brothel and tortured to death, pay a price that would make him suffer a lifetime of misery.

And so, the usually taciturn and reserved Ninth Prince, Yuwen Ruojian, began to change. He started spending his days indulging in brothels in Xianyang, the capital of Later Qin, and his nights filled with romantic revelry. He transformed into a dashing, seemingly harmless playboy, indulging in eating, drinking, and merrymaking, flirting with beauties, and picking flowers. Everyone shook their heads and sighed at this prince, seeing it as a tragedy for the nation. Only one person remained smiling, indulging his every whim: the current Emperor. Wasn't this the Yuwen Ruojian he had always longed for?

A playboy who poses no threat whatsoever, a prince who has fallen apart.

However, all of this was ultimately just an illusion. Sometimes what a person sees is not necessarily the truth. Just like the Ninth Prince, who was looked down upon by the entire dynasty, he was only hiding his true strength.

He remembered the vow he had made that day: no matter what the cost, he would take revenge.

So, at the age of thirteen, under the pretext of traveling, he personally went to the southwestern border to find the sorcerer and learn the art of black magic. After mastering it, the first curse he cast was on his master. The second was on the emperor; it was a form of dark manipulation, so the emperor was at his beck and call. Moreover, he could transmit all the pain the emperor had ever suffered to him through his will. Although the emperor was controlled and became a puppet, his consciousness still lingered. Therefore, every time his pain was transmitted to the emperor's consciousness, the emperor felt as if he had entered a hellish arena, suffering unbearable torment, his soul being slowly invaded and swallowed up, falling into the eighteen levels of hell time and time again.

He did everything he said he would. However, as a top-tier sorcerer, he also had to endure various heavenly tribulations that ordinary people could not bear.

If one cannot overcome any of these tribulations, then... death. And after death, the soul has no place to rest, never to be reborn. Therefore, very few people are willing to pay such a price to gain anything.

This love potion is also one of the tribulations of heaven. If he cannot pass it, then what awaits him is... despair.

Yuwen Ruojian knew full well that the other person wouldn't save him, nor could they, so when she left, he told her nothing about all the sacrifices he had made for her. She willingly gave up what little life she had left for him.

His sorrowful gaze told me that the torment he had endured and the suffering he had endured were unimaginable to ordinary people, and that his choice to come to her for help was perfectly reasonable. I could imagine that at such a young age, for revenge, to avenge his father, and to protect the land for his family, he had done everything that ordinary people could not.

And in the next moment, the pain continued. His father, a father who had always been detached from worldly affairs, finally couldn't bear to see his beloved son suffer such pain and injustice in this world, so he came here. Threatening me, even wanting to kill me, would be understandable; he simply wanted to do what a father could to protect his child. He reminded me of a wolf. Wolves, though cruel, will plead with tears in their eyes when hunters harm their cubs, even willing to give their own lives in exchange.

Such a noble sentiment commands respect and admiration.

He was pleading with me silently, and I could almost hear him repeating over and over again, "Please... please... save him, save him..."

I sighed silently, "I'm sorry, I can't save him, I don't love him. My blood won't bloom even if it's poured onto a mandala."

I coughed lightly a few times; the wound in my chest still ached, and my face paled even more. The constant coughing prompted me to cover my face with a handkerchief embroidered with black lotus flowers. The next second, I saw that the pure white gauze was covered with spots of crimson. For some reason, I suddenly remembered a ridiculous saying: "A riot of colors always heralds spring."

Xiaoqi felt sorry for me when she saw that I was weak but still managed a faint smile. She came over to help me and let me lie down on the soft couch next to her.

I waved my hand and said to Xiao Qi, "Let Ge Kong find someone to send him back and tell their master that in this life, I, An Jin, owe him."

Then he closed his eyes and said nothing more.

A brisk west wind fills the courtyard, the fragrance of the blossoms is so faint that butterflies dare not come. If I were the Green Emperor in the future, I would make the peach blossoms bloom together with me.

If we were to meet again someday, what would that be like?

A faint memory of that alluring man in red robes flashed through my mind. I smiled faintly.

At this moment, I couldn't care about anything else. Sima Rui hadn't woken up yet. I remembered saying as I fell into the darkness that if he died, I would go before him. I thought I was willing to win this gamble with fate with my life, but clearly, I hadn't won. I knew it was warning me, warning me not to presume to change anything.

If I leave, will I no longer hurt anyone?

When I saw the blood streaming down his chest, and then the crimson stain on my clothes carrying his warm body heat, just like the warmth on his back in that dark dungeon that day, at that moment, I suddenly remembered everything, and my heart felt even more desolate.

For me, An Jin, what I gain is also another form of loss.

176 Ending 1: Sweet Sadness

Yong Anjin

A young man of lofty ambitions, standing out from the crowd.

What night is this? A gentle breeze carries two shadows.

Her beauty is as delicate as fine jade, and her graceful figure is unparalleled in the world.

A mysterious woman with two faces, descending from the heavens and earth.

Like wisps of smoke, the celestial maiden has already departed.

Sitting and waiting for the beauty to fade, a life without end.

On Mount Kunlun, an ancient temple stands amidst the cliffs.

I stood there quietly, watching the monk in his blue robes, his face calm and expressionless, sweeping the ground at the temple entrance. The ground was covered with fallen leaves and branches, a rare sight in autumn. His expression was very subtle, almost imperceptible. He held a long broom made of bamboo, and moved with the graceful ease of a hermit, appearing ethereal and detached from worldly affairs.

Before coming here, I already knew that there were only two people in this ancient temple. People from the foot of the mountain said that they seemed to be a master and his disciple, or they seemed to be two strangers. They sat in meditation for four days a day, chanting scriptures and cultivating themselves. They rarely spoke. Even when people came here to worship Buddha, they rarely saw anyone. The whole temple was filled with a cold and quiet atmosphere. Only when there was a wisp of smoke did it seem as if there were people inside.

I already knew who this person was. I sighed and softly called out to him, "Qingci."

The monk was startled and turned his head, saying, "Young master... Amitabha, Qingci is dead, this humble monk is Wuya."

Boundless, boundless. I softly repeated in my heart, is it a life without end?