"That's great, that's great." Fang Zhihe clapped his hands. "You drank both of our drinks, and you know Han Shu so well, there's no reason to leave him out of his cup."
"You guys do your thing, don't drag me into this," Han Shu said, giving him a cold look.
Ju Nian was silent for a moment, then poured herself a full glass of water and drank it all. As her hand fell, her body swayed, and the blanket that had been lying flat on the floor rolled to the ground.
"I've drunk all the drinks I was supposed to. Tell me, have you ever seen him? Tell me, where is he?"
"He's going that way..."
"I know, over there..."
Fang Zhihe and Zhou Liang spoke at the same time, but their hands pointed in completely opposite directions.
Ju Nian stared at them, stared at them, and said nothing more.
She thought she had caught a lucky fairy wand, but it was just a clown's colorful stick.
Tears streamed unexpectedly down her small face. She didn't blame others for deceiving her; she blamed herself. She could only cowardly hide in her own world, and when she heard the footsteps fading away, she finally felt afraid, reached out her hand, but the person outside had vanished.
Ju Nian left silently amidst the bewildered glances of the boys, without even offering them the blame they had imagined.
As her figure disappeared through the doorway, Zhou Liang couldn't contain himself. "Hey, I said, is she alright? She scared me half to death just now."
"Don't ask me, how would I know she actually drank it? Three big glasses of Chivas Regal, even if it was mixed with green tea, the concentration would still be quite high."
"I heard that girls can drink more than boys, so she should be fine. She seemed to be walking quite steadily," Zhou Liang began to reassure himself.
"She must know someone. Do you think that guy who was talking to her so close to her face wouldn't do anything about it? Don't worry, nothing will happen. Maybe she drinks often and can hold her liquor well."
"Aren't you all bored? What's so fun about this!" Han Shu, who had been watching coldly, finally snapped, pushing away the cup in front of him and standing up. "You guys continue, I'm leaving."
"Han Shu, you're not going to go looking for her, are you?"
"Do you think I'm bored? Anyway, the old man knows I might not be home tonight and will spend the night playing games at an internet cafe. If he or my mom call you, just say I'm asleep." He slapped down his share of the bill and left without saying another word.
“He really…” Zhou Liang said in surprise, pointing to Han Shu who had walked away.
"Why do you have to spell it out so clearly?" Fang Zhihe rolled his eyes at him.
Chapter Thirty-Nine: He is not him
Han Shu slowly walked out of the "KK" gate, only then did his anxious expression appear on his face. He turned around and looked around the bustling street, but Xie Junian was nowhere to be seen.
He knew how potent it was to mix foreign liquor with soft drinks. Although it was smooth to drink, the aftereffects were extremely strong. Even a seasoned veteran like Dean Han had been "tested" by social engagements a few times, so Han Shu himself drank very moderately. Who knew that Xie Junian wouldn't even know how to refuse, downing three glasses in one go. If the alcohol didn't turn her into an intermittently mentally impaired person, he wouldn't be Han.
Near nightclubs, lone girls are always a target, let alone someone who's drunk. Han Shu walked and ran along the direction Ju Nian had gone home, searching for her, but he couldn't find her even at the intersection. She didn't seem like the type to take a taxi; had she sprouted wings and flown away?
Han Shu thought for a moment, then turned back, intending to walk in another direction to take a look. He gradually regretted not stopping Fang Zhi and the others from tricking her into drinking. Yes, he still hated her, hoping to see her make a fool of herself, but that brief sense of victory was instantly extinguished by the tears on her face. He cursed himself, wasn't he just making things harder for himself? Why was he so pathetic?
Just as I was about to return to my starting point, the golden sign of "KK" came into view. Beside a bench on the sidewalk, a ragged homeless man was leaning over, looking at something. The bench was empty, just like when I had passed by before.
Han Shu was puzzled and slowed his pace to get closer. Through the body of the homeless man, the "thing" curled up tightly by the bench looked very familiar.
The urge to swear resurfaced, even though Han Shu knew it was wrong.
"What are you doing!" His first reaction was to shoo away the homeless man with unclear intentions. The homeless man had his back to him and didn't move. He immediately became anxious, fearing that the "thing" on the ground had been harmed. He was about to reach out to pull the person blocking his way, but when he reached halfway out, the dirt on the man's clothes made him back down. So he had to go around to the bench and make sure that she was generally safe and sound before a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders.
Sending Han Shu to touch the homeless man was tantamount to sending him to his death. At the critical moment, he remembered the saying "money makes the world go round," took out five yuan and threw it into the broken bowl, then made a fierce gesture to drive him away. Finally, only he and Xie Junian were left by the bench.
Ju Nian huddled in a ball, burying her head in her knees, like a hedgehog facing an enemy, only one hand gripping the iron leg of the bench beside her, looking small and pitiful. Han Shu poked her back with a finger, "Hey..."
She remained motionless, but her back rose and fell gently.
"Hey! You're not asleep here, are you? Can you hear me?" Han Shu poked her harder, and she swayed. If she hadn't been holding onto the chair leg with one hand, she would have fallen to the ground.
Seeing this, Han Shu gave up on communicating with her. Fortunately, there were only cars speeding by on the road, and very few pedestrians. He reached under Ju Nian's arm and forcefully pulled her up. Her hand seemed to be attached to the chair leg, and she was about to fall to the ground.
Seeing this, Han Shu gave up on communicating with her. Fortunately, there were only cars speeding by on the road, and very few pedestrians. He reached under Ju Nian's arm and forcefully pulled her up. Her hand seemed to be attached to the stool leg, and it took him a lot of effort to pry it open. By the time he put her on the stool, the back of Han Shu's T-shirt was soaked with sweat.
Given Han Shu's usual temper, he would have felt obligated to say something sarcastic, but he then noticed that Ju Nian was leaning against the stool with her eyes closed, her flushed face covered in tears. She had drunk those three cups and couldn't leave; all she could do was cry in vain.
"Are you alright?" Han Shu felt that his question was pointless, as it was obvious that she was far from being "alright".
She actually listened and even nodded, saying, "You can go now."
Han Shu laughed self-deprecatingly; even at this point, she still didn't need him.
He sat with her for a while, but the person beside him showed no signs of becoming more awake. If they dragged it out any longer, it would only get more troublesome. Han Shu quickly hailed a taxi, gritted his teeth, and helped Ju Nian up again. "Come on, I'll take you home."
The driver was used to seeing drunk people near "KK". Han Shu gave Ju Nian's address, and the car started moving. After turning at the intersection, her body slumped softly towards Han Shu, as if she had lost her skeletal support. At first, she leaned against his chest, but after the car bumped around, she slid even lower and lay on his lap.
"What are you doing, trying to take advantage of me?" Han Shu muttered, but dared not move. He knew she was very drunk; the aftereffects of the alcohol were slowly eroding her brain. She was completely out of control now; otherwise, he would never have nestled so quietly beside her, like a white rabbit.
Ju Nian's body was burning hot, which also made Han Shu feel hot. He said to the driver, "Driver, please turn the air conditioning up."
The driver laughed and said, "I've already gone all the way up. My hands are covered in goosebumps. Young people have a lot of energy, there's nothing I can do about it."
Han Shu simply opened a window a crack. As the wind blew in, he took a deep breath and realized how tense he was. Was that drunk-looking person reflected in the glass really him? He hadn't drunk much; could alcohol really be contagious through mere breath?
Halfway there, Han Shu remembered something, so he quickly nudged Ju Nian, who was sleeping soundly on his lap, "Hey, wake up... just for ten seconds, okay? I want to talk to you for a bit... If you go back like this, your parents will eat me alive! I can't just leave you at the door and walk away. How am I supposed to explain to them that you're all drunk like this?"
Ju Nian seemed not to have heard his words at all. Han Shu's argument was not without merit. Xie Maohua and his wife were notorious moralists. He could just walk away, but as their daughter, Ju Nian would probably be unable to clear her name even if she jumped into the Yellow River. She would be badly hurt, if not killed.
"How about we find a place to settle down first, and go back tomorrow morning when we're more awake? We can make up an excuse then, it'll be better than now," he whispered in Ju Nian's ear, afraid the driver would hear.
Ju Nian didn't react, so Han Shu nudged her back again.
"Okay, if you don't want to talk, then don't. If you stay silent, I'll take it as you having no opinion... You hear me? You can still voice your opinions... Alright, then we'll do as you say. We agreed not to go home yet."
He felt he had every reason, and it was entirely for her sake. As for selfish motives, how could that be? His heart was beating faster and faster simply because it was too hot.
"Driver, take Zhongshan Avenue instead."
There are many good hotels along Zhongshan Avenue. Han Shu had lived in G City with his parents since kindergarten. Like all good kids, he rarely stayed overnight outside his home. Moreover, he probably inherited his obsession with cleanliness and high standards for comfort from Dr. Zuo's mother. He always kept his distance from hotels, which were always bustling with people. Only once, when his mother took his sister to their maternal grandmother's house, and Director Han was in closed training, she worried that he would be left unattended, so she let him stay with her at a star-rated hotel near the training location on Zhongshan Avenue. That time, Han Shu found that good hotels were at least not as filthy as he had imagined.
After the driver turned around, Han Shu checked his wallet. Luckily, he had agreed to splurge with Fang Zhi and the others today, so he had brought enough money. The driver put on music, and Han Shu's mind drifted further and further away with the ethereal female voice. He didn't even notice that earlier, while talking to Ju Nian, he had unconsciously pushed her a few times, and his already fragile stomach suddenly felt nauseous. When she painfully propped herself up on his thigh, making a nauseous face, Han Shu panicked. He rubbed her back and opened all the windows, but her symptoms didn't improve at all.
"I'm warning you, you better hold it in... Did you hear me, Xie Junian? You dare to throw up and try it... Master, stop the car, stop the car now... Ah... I'll kill you..."
The driver quickly pulled the car over to the side of the road, but it was too late. Han Shu raised his hands, his face filled with grief and indignation. While vomiting, she was still lying on top of him, taking in all the vomit from his favorite T-shirt. Even worse, after vomiting for a while, she was completely exhausted and leaned back against his chest, the two of them pressed together, with the contents of her stomach between them... Han Shu felt like he was going to vomit at any moment.
Urged on by the driver, he scrambled out of the car, dragging the unconscious Ju Nian along with him. The driver frowned deeply, "God, how am I supposed to do business tonight?"
Han Shu could only apologize repeatedly and paid for both the taxi fare and the car wash without a second thought. Just when he thought that was the end of it, the driver added, still dissatisfied, "At least wipe the car down for me, even a quick wipe would be fine. Otherwise, I won't be able to breathe until we get to the car wash."
As Han Shu wiped the obvious dirt in the carriage with a tissue, he had only one thought in his mind: he hated Xie Junian, Fang Zhihe, and Zhou Liang to the core. He would not be human if he did not break off relations with them.
By the time the taxi sped away, Han Shu was a mangled mess. Seeing the miserable state he and Xie Junian were in, Zhongshan Avenue and the five-star hotel seemed like mere illusions. They had gotten out of the taxi near the south gate of G University. Han Shu, with his sharp eyes, suddenly spotted a pink lightbox about a hundred meters ahead with the words "Sweet Honey Hotel" written on it. He almost knelt down to kiss God's feet. He steeled himself, grabbed Junian, and like Dong Cunrui carrying a bomb, marched towards the "Sweet Honey" bunker with a death-defying resolve.
The "lobby" of "Sweet Honey" was just a small passageway of about five or six square meters. Han Shu almost thought he had gone to the wrong place. There was a table at the entrance of the passageway, which looked like the "reception". Behind the table sat a middle-aged bald man, short in stature, who was probably the owner. The owner was staring intently at an old color TV, showing no enthusiasm for the customers who had come to him.
"Hello, give me a room, a clean one, with hot water." This was Han Shu's only request; with these, he would feel like he was in paradise. As he said this, he consciously turned slightly to the side. Taking a drunk girl to a somewhat risqué hotel room at night was, after all, against his moral principles and hardly something to be proud of.
The hotel owner looked up from the television, glanced at them with a blank, unsurprised expression, as if they were just one of countless young men and women having illicit affairs. He tossed a key tag from a drawer in the table.
“Every room is equally clean. It’s fifty yuan a night, payment in advance.”
Han Shu had never heard of the rule that room fees must be paid in advance before a person can check in, but now was not the time to argue, especially since the price was much cheaper than he had expected. So he continued to pay while still turning sideways, and then remembered to ask, "Where do I register?"
"Register." The innkeeper paused for a moment, then grinned and pulled out a crumpled notebook. The unspoken message behind his smile was: "Since you like registering, I'll grant your wish."
Han Shu looked at the book. The last registration was three months ago, and the names were strange, such as "Hua Hua," "Baby," and "Little Heart." It was obvious that it was a perfunctory job. He also scribbled a few lines and was too lazy to fill in the ID number. He grabbed the key tag and hurriedly went into the room.
As soon as the door opened, a musty smell hit him. Han Shu frowned, but it was better than being vomited on. He closed the door and the first thing he did was throw Ju Nian into the broken bathroom, find the showerhead, turn on the water, and spray her indiscriminately.
When the water sprayed on her, Ju Nian visibly shrank back. Only then did Han Shu realize that there was no hot water in the room. Fortunately, it was summer, and cold water wouldn't kill anyone. He took off the T-shirt that made him feel nauseous and, ignoring Ju Nian's instinctive dodge, let the water wash over her.
In a short while, Ju Nian's body was completely soaked. Her thin white top clung to her skin, turning into a hazy flesh color, and her blue skirt was piled up on her thighs. Her neatly tied hair was already a mess, so Han Shu simply took off her hair tie, and her long hair fell down.
After rinsing for about five minutes, Ju Nian was still in a daze, her legs bent and leaning against the corner. Han Shu was a clean person, and the scene of her vomiting in the car was a nightmare for him. Now that her clothes were wet and sticking to her body, he couldn't bear to look at her like that.
He hesitated for a moment, but since he was already here, he felt it was his responsibility to clean up the filthy orange tree more thoroughly.
"Don't overthink it. I'm doing this for your own good. My mom said that wearing wet clothes makes it easy to catch a cold. I feel bad for you just looking at you." Han Shu tried to ease his embarrassment. He coughed lightly and reached out to unbutton her clothes, only to find that his throat was like a barren wasteland that had been parched for ten years, filled with coarse sand, and he could not wait for the rain to come.
He was dizzy and flushed as he unbuttoned her top and skirt, not daring to cross any further lines. Even so, he could still feel the changes in his body. After washing for a while, he turned his back, rinsed himself briefly, found a large towel to wrap around Ju Nian, dried himself off for a while, and then moved to the large bed in the center of the room.
The bed was disproportionately large for the room's size, but its quality was clearly poor. Han Shu and Ju Nian were not fat, but when their weight was placed on it, the mattress emitted a strange groan, which seriously aggravated Han Shu's fragile nerves, making him move with extreme caution, otherwise the sound would kill him.
Ju Nian's hair was still wet, and her face had turned pale, except for her red lips. Han Shu didn't dare to look closely. He went back to the bathroom, washed their clothes, and hung them to dry in a well-ventilated place.
His T-shirt and her white shirt hung close together, swaying gently, like someone whose heart was fluttering but dared not approach. He felt sorry for the clothes, reached out and nudged them, and the T-shirt hugged the white shirt. Han Shu smiled.
After doing all this, Han Shu felt exhausted. There wasn't even a stool in the room besides a bed; fifty yuan was all he could afford. He was the kind of person who would never sleep on the floor, so he quietly climbed onto the bed, smelled the pillow and sheets, shook himself several times, and carefully settled down on the very edge of the bed.
Consciousness and body can be highly separated. Han Shu's eyelids were already drooping, but at the other end of the bed, any slight movement struck his heart. Ju Nian seemed to murmur something, and moved her body. When Han Shu turned his head, she had already kicked off the towel and sheets on her body and was facing away from him.
Han Shu's Adam's apple bobbed slightly. She was very thin, but not bony. Perhaps she had not fully grown up yet. She did not have the rounded, undulating curves of the beautiful women in men's magazines. She had a slender waist, long and supple limbs, and her skin was not snow-white, but had an ivory-like luster.
From Han Shu's perspective, her nape, her shoulders, her back, and the small crease where her waist and hips met all possessed a raw and mysterious beauty. Unable to suppress his inner demons, he tremblingly extended a finger, gently tracing the path that had drawn his gaze down her spine.
Those were mountains rising from the depths of his heart, leaving him stranded, hesitant, yet unable to conquer them.
His hands were so careful that he doubted whether he had actually touched her. However, Ju Nian's previous quiet was broken. She tossed and turned on the pillow, her eyes closed, and she made low moans that sounded like weeping.
Han Shu drew closer, and she kept repeating the same question over and over: "Where are you? Where are you...?"
Even now, she was still preoccupied with finding Wu Yu. Was that Wu Yu really that important? What made him so special?
Han Shu felt a pang of sorrow, unsure of whom he should pity. He tried to comfort Ju Nian, who was wavering in her anxiety, and himself, who had lost his way while climbing, and took her hand, placing it closest to his heart.
"Where are you?" Ju Nian's voice was still choked with tears.
Han Shu replied in a low voice, "I'm here, didn't you know? I'm right here."
His strength flipped her over. Ju Nian was only wearing her most intimate clothes, her wet long hair wrapped around her neck and across her chest, and her wispy bangs covered her eyes.
Han Shu reached out to brush the hair from her face, but she half-opened her eyes at that moment. Han Shu froze, feeling embarrassed. He was about to withdraw his hand to explain when she held on tightly, and in doing so, she found his other hand and placed it on the other side of her cheek.
So, Han Shu gently cupped Ju Nian's face in his hands. His wet hair wrapped around his chest, like silver needles piercing his blood, the incurable poison spreading to his internal organs.
He forgot exactly how it started. Maybe it was the ghostly sounds of a man and woman wrestling on the other side of the wall, maybe it was the groaning of the mattress that broke down his defenses, maybe there was too much in her eyes that he was captivated by... Maybe it was all just an excuse, for nothing at all, he just succumbed to desire.
His memory began from the moment the two were completely honest with each other. Ju Nian fell asleep again, her breathing long and slow, while Han Shu's flames burned so intensely that he was almost driven mad. He repeatedly told himself, "I will treat her well from now on, and I will never hold a grudge against her again. Just like when I held her face in my hands, I cherished her like a precious jewel, and I will never let go."
He had never done such a thing. His family was very strict, and the only source of his education came from Zhou Liang's "treasured picture album," which depicted this seemingly natural and inevitable event. However, he felt helpless and unable to grasp the essence of it.
The city he had been longing for was now within reach, and the shouts in his heart were deafening. However, when he finally arrived at the city gates, with the arrow on the bowstring, the sudden close contact between Ju Nian's slightly bent body and his own sent a shiver down his spine. Pleasure flashed by like a meteor, exploding from the scorching peak in an instant, burning into the icy coolness of a meteorite.
Han Shu collapsed in defeat onto Ju Nian. He was relieved that Ju Nian wasn't conscious, otherwise, if she had seen his clumsy and pathetic performance, he probably wouldn't have the face to live with himself anymore.
After an unknown amount of time, the howling and wailing from next door subsided. The two were sweating profusely where their skin had touched. Han Shu buried his head in Ju Nian's chest and propped himself up to rebuild his empire.
Perhaps because of the groundwork laid last time, Han Shu made better progress this time. He lifted Ju Nian's waist and felt that he had really gone in this time. With another exertion, Ju Nian felt a sharp pain and slowly woke up.