"Han Shu, do you believe in fate?" she asked, squinting slightly as she faced the rising sun.
Han Shu shook his head. "I don't believe it. I've only ever done something superstitious once in my life. That day I was unlucky enough to be bumped into and fall, so I went to some random temple nearby and got a fortune stick."
"How would I know?" Han Shu said, sounding somewhat indignant. "The fortune teller at the temple was also baffling; the fortune slip I drew was torn off the board. Damn it, there are actually people in this world who steal fortune slips!"
Ju Nian laughed and kicked a leaf that had drifted in from outside the wall, while simultaneously swatting away the hand that was trying to grab her while she was in the thick of things. She secretly opened her palm and looked once more at the lines of fate.
Han Shu's stomach rumbled; everyone who is alive will feel hungry.
"Let's go." She followed him out of the courtyard and turned back to lock the door.
end:
The demolition of the martyrs' cemetery was inevitable. Before the move, Han Shu accompanied Ju Nian as they once again climbed the steps along the familiar path after many years.
Ju Nian held a bunch of wildflowers she had picked by the roadside, plucking off the white, single-layered petals as she walked. Han Shu thought of something he had just solemnly mentioned to her, and felt a little suspicious, even worried that she would use such a terrifying method as counting odd and even numbers to answer her question.
He walked listlessly to the top of the steps and stood under the pomegranate tree. He remembered the words "HS&JN" carved on the back of the trunk. He still didn't understand if she was the one who carved those marks, or if "HS&JN" represented the two of them. He felt it was, but it didn't seem like it should be. So he simply stopped asking. He found his way of thinking starting to resemble hers. Rather than being confused, he decided to believe in the answer he wanted.
But he couldn't quite grasp her unhurried, even frantic, demeanor. He pretended to admire the scenery for a long time, then couldn't help coughing a few times. "Hey... what I just told you, the thing I mentioned before we came up... what happened... ugh, give me a straight answer, whether it's life or death... at least give me a heads-up..."
Ju Nian said, "Squeak..."
Before Han Shu could erupt in anger, she gathered all the petals in her hand and then opened her palm.
They stood on high ground, and the wind quickly blew the petals down the steps; it was another beautiful day he liked.
Ju Nian said, "My answer? Han Shu, someone once told me that there are two things in the world that are truly helpless: the past and the falling petals." She pointed to the last petal that drifted away from her hand in the wind.
"Can you get them back?"
Han Shu was taken aback. "Why didn't you say so earlier! You're not allowed to go back on your word!" He hurriedly chased after the petals that were getting farther and farther away, his voice echoing back from the bottom of the steps, "Anything is fine as long as you're willing."
When only the year of the orange remained, she heard the pomegranate tree behind her rustling in the wind. Turning around, she saw the little monk in a loose white shirt standing under the tree, his features as serene as they had been years ago.
Ju Nian said, "I knew you would come to see me someday. You are still the same, Wu Yu, but I am slowly getting old."
Wu Yu smiled brightly at Ju Nian. For the first time in twelve years, he looked at her with his eyes open.
Ju Nian's cheeks were already full of tears.
She once again made peace with fate, no longer questioning whether Wu Yu had ever loved her, no longer questioning to whom he truly belonged. The pomegranate tree that never bore fruit would also disappear with the relocation of the martyrs' cemetery; the little monk would no longer linger beneath it, just as he had longed for—he should be free.
Her little monk was like the rain on Mount Wu, flowing into rivers and mountains, transforming into clouds, and finally becoming a tear in Ju Nian's heart.
—The End—
[Extra-Zhu Xiaobei]
Extra:
When Zhu Xiaobei was in middle school, a male classmate came to visit her on the weekend, blushing. His mother happened to be returning from grocery shopping and, without hesitation, chased the poor boy away. Then, she moved a stool to her front door, slapping her thigh and giving her daughter a thorough dressing-down. She said, "You brat! How old are you? You're already having all sorts of dirty thoughts! And you dare bring those stinky boys home! You're trying to drive your old mother crazy! I advise you to give up on that idea as soon as possible. Forget about dating; studying is the proper thing to do. Look at your Uncle Wang's daughter, a graduate of a prestigious university! The girl next door's brother also got a master's degree! You have to make me proud, otherwise, I might as well have given birth to a piece of barbecued pork!" Zhu Xiaobei's family lived on the first floor. That day, her mother's mournful voice resonated throughout the entire courtyard. Neighbors, friends, uncles, and elders cast sympathetic glances at Zhu Xiaobei, who was earnestly eating noodles.
In fact, they didn't need to act this way. Xiao Bei's heart wasn't actually traumatized much. On the one hand, from childhood to adulthood, she had already toughened her heart like an indestructible shield from her mother's roars; on the other hand, the rolling tide of history finally proved a truth years later: in this inevitable event within the realm of chance, the trauma her mother suffered was far greater than that suffered by Xiao Bei herself.
More than ten years later, Zhu Xiaobei, a postdoctoral fellow at the age of 29 and one month, returned home in high spirits to visit her parents. Her poor and pitiful mother sat on the stool at the door once again, slapping her thigh and crying her eyes out.
"You damn girl, how old are you? How can you still not think about settling down and starting a family? I've never seen you bring even half a boyfriend home. You're trying to drive your old mother crazy. When will you ever stop studying? Don't try to fool me with that trendy single stuff. Finding a man to marry is the real deal. Look at your Uncle Wang's grandson, he's already old enough to run errands. The girl next door had a son last year. You have to make your old age proud. Otherwise, it would be better to have a piece of barbecued pork than to have you."
Zhu Xiaobei stood dejectedly by the door, rubbing her nose. The neighbors, now older and grown up, and old and new friends alike cast pitying glances at her once more. Zhu Xiaobei finally believed that in her mother's heart, she was destined to be a nobody, neither side truly caring. But then again, the gray hairs at her mother's temples and the genuine worry and distress in her eyes showed that she still cared for her daughter—after all, she was her own mother!
In this situation, the tragedy can be summed up in one sentence: "If only she had known then what she knows now." If the mother knew that the boy she chased away with a bunch of celery was the only person in history who had ever extended an olive branch to her, would she regret it so much that she would vomit blood on the spot?
After her mother finished venting, Zhu Xiaobei chuckled and patted her back, telling unrelated jokes. Finally, her mother, tired of complaining, poked her daughter's head and sighed, "How did I raise a daughter like you?"
Only she would ask such a question. Even Zhu Xiaobei's father, who had been oppressed for decades and was now as docile as a lamb, knew to mutter the phrase, "Like daughter, like mother." Those unaware of the truth might assume Zhu Xiaobei was born in a humble alley with typical, uncouth, lower-middle-class parents—but they would be wrong, terribly wrong! The compound that Zhu's mother had repeatedly described as shocking was the staff dormitory area of a bank in Shenyang. Her father, who brought his wife water to wash her feet, was none other than the branch manager, Zhu, while her mother, always making startling remarks, had just retired from her prestigious position as a bank accountant. Zhu's father was gentle and refined, meticulous in his work; Zhu's mother was highly skilled, straightforward, and quick-witted—a master problem solver both at work and in the compound. Yet, she couldn't solve the life-changing issue of her soon-to-be thirty-year-old postdoctoral daughter's marriage—how could she not consider it a great source of resentment?
Besides inheriting her mother's carefree and impulsive temperament, Zhu Xiaobei, influenced by her knowledgeable father from a young age, developed a love of reading and a habit of diligently taking notes on every book she read. She could even glean insights from a TV program summary, so she always carried a pretty little notebook filled with everything from life philosophies and common sense to current events and gossip. Over the years, this notebook had probably been updated countless times. During Zhu Xiaobei's adolescence, her astute and perceptive mother attempted to monitor this notebook closely to understand her daughter's emotional journey and nip any possibility of her "going astray" in the bud. However, Zhu Xiaobei never hid her little notebook. It often appeared on the dining table, the bedside table, or even in any corner of the living room. The contents were too varied. Zhu's mother flipped through many pages and found that the contents were generally healthy, with occasional hazy girlish sentiments. This might not be a bad thing for her daughter, who never liked wearing skirts. She found nothing suspicious.
If Zhu's mother had looked more closely and studied the matter more thoroughly, she might have noticed that for a period of time, a number of poems appeared frequently in Zhu Xiaobei's notebook:
The scenery of Jiangnan is beautiful, familiar from long ago. At sunrise, river flowers bloom redder than fire; in spring, the river water is greener than blue. How could I not long for Jiangnan?
The orchid lamp burns low, the banana leaves on the screen are dark red. In idle dreams, I imagine the plums ripening in Jiangnan, a leaf-shaped boat playing a flute in the pattering rain. Voices echo by the post station bridge.
Everyone praises the beauty of Jiangnan; travelers should only grow old there. Spring waters are bluer than the sky; painted boats drift off to sleep, listening to the rain.
...
It means that all the myriad threads point to one word—Jiangnan.
Back then, the water town in many people's dreams was also a boy's name.
Zhu Xiaobei's first encounter with Jiangnan was actually quite late. It was during her second year of high school. One day on her way to school, her neighbor and classmate, a girl named Da Niu, excitedly caught up with her and asked, "Xiaobei, Xiaobei, you're always with those basketball guys, have you seen that transfer student from Xinjiang? Xinjiang, from Xinjiang!"
"So what if you're from Xinjiang? Look at your pathetic, unsophisticated self!" Zhu Xiaobei swung her schoolbag, looking at her childhood friend with disdain. Da Niu was great in every way, except for her infatuated nature. But you couldn't entirely blame her. From childhood, they'd lived and gone to school in their small, close-knit circle, attending schools for children of government employees, and high school near their homes. Their classmates were either from this street or the next alley; it was no wonder Da Niu, like some of her classmates, was so surprised by the sudden appearance of a Xinjiang person.
Despite her disdain, Zhu Xiaobei still enthusiastically followed Da Niu to the basketball court after school to visit the "transfer student" from Xinjiang. When Da Niu pointed out the way with trembling fingers, she was deeply disappointed.
Later, Jiangnan asked her why she was disappointed.
Zhu Xiaobei said she had expected to see someone like Nasreddin Hodja, someone who, while not necessarily riding a donkey and wearing a turban, would at least have striking features and an exotic air. But no, this transfer student from Xinjiang had a face indistinguishable from a Han Chinese. In Zhu Xiaobei's eyes at the time, he was no different from Uncle Wang's son, Da Niu's brother, or the bunch of monkeys on the basketball team. Even more regrettably, his name lacked any exotic flair.
His name is Jiangnan, Jiang as in Jiangnan, and Nan as in Jiangnan.
Even if someone isn't particularly good-looking, they should at least have a name like "Maimaiti" (a homophone for "Buy Buy Ti" in Chinese).
That day, Zhu Xiaobei shoved the girl and left disappointed.
High school boys and girls are already experiencing the stirrings of hormones, and many harbor secret crushes. Da Niu is no exception; she secretly loves the eldest son of Uncle Wang, who lives in the same building. However, she's far from faithful, at least while he's away studying. One day she's eyeing the class monitor from the next class, the next she's admiring the transfer student Jiang Nan, and the day after that, her attention might be on the handsome clerk at the school store. Zhu Xiaobei isn't without feelings, but she remains unmoved. She's saving her pure, innocent heart for a promising future, not for the immature kid next door.
To be fair, Zhu Xiaobei is quite good-looking. According to her mother, her daughter inherited her beautiful eyes, well-defined eyebrows, high nose bridge, and tall figure. Although she doesn't like overly feminine styles, she's undeniably well-endowed. However, there isn't a single boy around her who can capture her heart. She's already over 1.7 meters tall since high school, and there aren't many boys her age who she can look up to. Zhu Xiaobei's condescending gaze could crush any young man's heart. The few who do catch her eye are all her good buddies.
The second time Zhu Xiaobei noticed Jiangnan was due to a "locker room" dispute involving the class's basketball team. That day after school, the group of boys who played basketball were out of the loop after drinking. Zhu Xiaobei was getting impatient waiting at the court and was about to go and urge them when Da Niu rushed over to deliver the news. Apparently, the group was fighting in the locker room, and no amount of persuasion could stop them. Annoyed by those energetic guys, Zhu Xiaobei, surrounded by a group of classmates, kicked open the locker room door—a door as fragile as a young girl's heart. Strictly speaking, it wasn't a "fight" inside. It was just a few boys bullying one of them, and that "one" referred to Jiangnan, a transfer student from Xinjiang.
Although Zhu Xiaobei also disliked the boy from the Northwest who was as gentle and refined as a young lady, and didn't like that he was forced into the class basketball team by the teacher because of his height, it didn't mean she condoned this group of people ganging up on one person. That wasn't skill, but rather "losing face."
Zhu Xiaobei rarely got into fights, but no one dared to bully her. According to her, she belonged to the "Qi Sect" type, intimidating enemies purely with her aura. After bursting in, she didn't waste any words, smashing a basketball towards the group of people, instantly stunning them. No one dared to make a move, which was to be expected, as this was the "locker room." The main reason the boys chose this place to settle their personal grudges was because it was a "secret place" where girls would never appear, let alone a girl who had burst in with a whirlwind of onlookers. Their hands, which they would have used for fighting, were now only used for frantically covering themselves. Jiang Nan managed to escape under these circumstances, after hastily putting on his clothes. This awkward situation made him hesitate for a long time before finally managing to say thank you as he rushed out of the locker room and passed by Zhu Xiaobei.
Afterwards, Zhu Xiaobei learned from the "gossip radio station" director, Da Niu, that the dispute was nothing more than a jealousy. A boy in the team liked a pretty girl from the next class, but that girl had a crush on Jiang Nan. The teammates, who were already xenophobic and disliked "pretty boys," seized the opportunity to swarm him and attack him. In the end, Zhu Xiaobei was "exposed" in front of everyone.
Zhu Xiaobei complained to Da Niu, "If I had known it was all for those lousy things, I wouldn't have gotten involved. This Jiangnan region is no good either, always attracting attention and doing pointless things. They deserve to get beaten up."
Da Niu couldn't shake off the image of a group of naked male classmates for a long time.
In fact, Zhu Xiaobei's regret was not without reason. The boys' disputes came and went quickly, and the friendships appeared even more inexplicably. Before Zhu Xiaobei could even finish listening, when he arrived at the basketball court, the group of boys playing basketball were already entangled with Jiangnan under the basket.
Jiangnan ignored the pretty girl from the next class, something Da Niu later told Zhu Xiaobei. However, Jiangnan began to show affection and closeness to Zhu Xiaobei, which was obvious to anyone with eyes, without Da Niu needing to say anything.
When she was sweating on the court, he grabbed her rebound but smiled at her; after sports, he would sometimes hand her a bottle of water; on the day it was supposed to be her cleaning the blackboard, he would take the initiative to go up and clean the blackboard thoroughly; after school, he would run to her and Da Niu with his books and say, "Xiao Bei, I live near your house."
Zhu Xiaobei prided herself on being clever, but she was completely bewildered by this change. While she was still in a daze, she and Da Niu had already shamelessly devoured two whole bags of raisins. Through casual conversation, she learned that not all people in Xinjiang had tall, deep-set eyes; there were many Han Chinese like herself, and the term "Xinjiang Production and Construction Corps." The mysterious Kanas had herds of cattle and sheep, endless vineyards, and sunflowers swaying gently in the sunset; vibrant oases hidden in the barren desert and Gobi. She also learned that the southern Xinjiang city where he grew up before his parents' job transfers was famous for its snow-white cotton, just a stone's throw from the Taklamakan Desert, and the legendary Silk Road lay at their feet. She knew of the beautiful, porcelain-doll-like Uyghur girls with dreamlike eyes, and of course, lamb skewers, roasted dogfish, braised lamb chops, and Urumqi beer…
After almost drooling, Da Niu quietly disappeared, leaving Zhu Xiaobei alone, often lost in thought about that magical place while describing Jiangnan.
Rumors were circulating that Jiang Nan liked Zhu Xiaobei and had been trying to get closer to her; his ulterior motives were common knowledge. Zhu Xiaobei, however, thought it was all nonsense. She spent most of her time with Jiang Nan playing sports: basketball, ping-pong, badminton, volleyball… When they talked alone, she thought more about the beautiful southern Xinjiang, the boundless expanse of land and sky, and the incredible Altai fat-tailed sheep—eating Chinese herbal medicine, drinking mineral water, wearing leather clothes, sleeping on green grass, walking on golden paths, living in crystal houses, urinating like Tai Tai oral liquid, and excreting like Liuwei Dihuang pills—not this seemingly weak boy.
But everyone was saying that, and the more they talked about it, the more enthusiastic they became. Jiangnan and Zhu Xiaobei, what an incredible couple, yet what a perfectly natural couple.
Gradually, whenever the two of them appeared together, people around them would wink and smile knowingly. When he appeared next to her, the "sensible" classmates would automatically leave. All this nonsense made Zhu Xiaobei dizzy. These inexplicable things were bothering her, so she tried to avoid them. She went to the stadium less often and on her way home, she would chat loudly with Da Niu. Jiang Nan couldn't get a word in edgewise and had to walk away helplessly.
Zhu Xiaobei thought the matter was over, but one weekend afternoon, she was idly watching "Red River" at home when she heard someone calling her name outside. Confused, she went to open the door, and Jiangnan stood outside with a smile, handing her a bag. "These are raisins that one of my dad's former colleagues brought over from over there. I know you like them."
No boy had ever come to Zhu Xiaobei's house before. Xiaobei politely invited him inside, but her mother, who had just gone out to buy groceries, seemed to have heard something and rushed back. Fearing that her young and naive daughter might be deceived and lose her virginity, she used a bunch of celery to shoo away the disheveled Jiangnan.
After this incident, Zhu Xiaobei finally began to ponder this profound question about life: Did Jiangnan really like her? But he never brought it up.
For the first time ever, she humbly asked Da Niu for advice. Da Niu, for the first time, replied to Zhu Xiaobei with an air of superior emotional intelligence: "He likes you. It's obvious from the book. Anyone with eyes can see that."
Zhu Xiaobei had never imagined falling for someone so early, let alone that person would be Jiang Nan. She had many friends and brothers, but her heart remained a hidden corner. It was from this moment that she began to secretly observe him, wondering why the winds and sands of Northwest China hadn't roughened his face. Just like his name, Jiang Nan possessed the gentlest features. Although he was Han Chinese, his hair was naturally slightly wavy, and soft bangs partially covered his bright eyes.
During that time, Zhu's father bought a point-and-shoot camera, and Zhu Xiaobei fell in love with photography. She captured all the scenery around her that she liked or found interesting. One afternoon during an extracurricular activity, Jiangnan stood alone under a tree next to the basketball hoop, staring blankly into the distance, lost in thought for some unknown reason. His profile had a perfect curve, and Zhu Xiaobei's camera captured that moment.
There are countless possibilities for one person to fall in love with another. Zhu Xiaobei's heart fluttered at that moment, and she couldn't explain why. If she had to give a reason, perhaps it was just because of his profile at that moment.
In the second semester of their junior year, during the school-wide boys' basketball tournament, Zhu Xiaobei's class, known for its fierce fighting spirit, was unstoppable, making it all the way to the finals. Because of his gender, Xiaobei, forced to be a spectator, cheered alongside Da Niu. The two teams were evenly matched, the score neck and neck. In the final seconds, Jiang Nan's three-pointer sealed the victory for his class, but a collision occurred during the intense scramble. After the whistle blew, the two sides, already fiercely competitive for the championship, quickly erupted into a brawl, creating a chaotic scene.
"Damn, why does someone who never likes fighting always cause so much trouble?" Zhu Xiaobei said to Da Niu. Seeing Jiang Nan being pinned to the ground by more than three boys, she couldn't care less anymore. Pushing aside the people in front of her, she squeezed onto the "battlefield," heading straight for Jiang Nan. Pushing and cursing, she pulled away the boys who were coming at him and dragged him up from the ground.
The referee and teachers appeared. Zhu Xiaobei protected Jiang Nan, glaring angrily at the other side. Zhu Xiaobei was very popular at school, and they were all her schoolmates. She knew several of the opposing boys, some of whom were even her good friends. They wouldn't lay a hand on Zhu Xiaobei. But at that moment, even Da Niu almost thought that the "Qi Sect" master Zhu Xiaobei would "break down" and kick the other side a few times. But Zhu Xiaobei didn't. All his strength and ferocity were completely useless under Jiang Nan's nose, utterly vanishing. In fact, she was now regretting it so much that she wanted to slap herself. Why did she kick open the locker room door when they first met, instead of appearing gracefully in front of him in a more romantic way, like in a Qiong Yao novel? Even a cliché scene like bumping into each other and picking up books from the ground would have been acceptable to her.
She checked Jiang Nan's injuries for a while, and didn't even utter the expected roar from the opposing team's players: "You fight when you lose, what kind of man are you?" She suppressed her anger and said, "Can we stop fighting?" and dragged Jiang Nan out of the stadium.
She said to stop fighting, and really no one continued. It wasn't because Zhu Xiaobei's words were so impactful, but because those who knew her were completely taken aback by her actions, and no one cared about fighting anymore.
After witnessing all of this, Da Niu finally gave a brilliant comment on the dramatic scene that made Zhu Xiaobei want to vomit blood: "I finally understand, Zhu Xiaobei, it turns out that your tough exterior hides a gentle girlish heart."
Although Da Niu's words were so cheesy that Zhu Xiaobei wanted to strangle her and then kill herself, they were absolutely true. Zhu Xiaobei's "gentle girlish heart" prevented her from being violent in front of Jiang Nan.
That's when she realized more deeply that she had truly fallen in love with Jiangnan.
That day, the sweltering summer sun seemed to carry a spring breeze. Zhu Xiaobei followed Jiangnan away from the crowd to a secluded spot. Usually, she was a woman of endless chatter, but suddenly she couldn't say a word, her body weak and listless. Much later, looking at the boy with the injury on his face, she complained, "You're really useless."
Because the fight wasn't stopped in time before it escalated, the teacher only considered it a minor conflict between boys on the basketball court, gave them a few words of reprimand, and didn't take any serious action. That evening, it was the weekend, and Zhu Xiaobei and his classmates celebrated their championship at a small restaurant. Jiangnan, whose facial wounds had already been treated, was both a team member and a key scorer, so he was naturally forced to drink a lot of beer by his classmates. He clearly couldn't hold his liquor; after a few drinks, his face was already flushed, and he finally stumbled to the restroom, not returning for a long time.
Zhu Xiaobei was naturally worried, so she sent several of her close male friends to check on him in the restroom. The first boy came back and said he was fine, just throwing up a lot in there; the second boy reported that Jiangnan said he was going to rest in there for a bit before coming out; the third boy simply said that Jiangnan was no longer in the restroom and they didn't know where he had gone. The more Zhu Xiaobei listened, the more anxious she became, and she couldn't help but curse the boys for being so useless, unable to even keep an eye on someone. Finally, the boys put their arms around Zhu Xiaobei's shoulders and said, "Look how anxious you are! Don't be so rude to us. If you're so capable, go find him yourself. It's just the men's restroom, isn't it? You've been to far more dangerous places before, what's there to be afraid of?"
Zhu Xiaobei inherited her mother's ability to drink without getting drunk, but she had also witnessed her father's terrible behavior when he was intoxicated. She was genuinely worried about Jiang Nan; he had won today, but he didn't seem overjoyed, and his brows appeared troubled.
She actually brushed aside the arms of those boys who were on her, walked out of the private room, and was going to find them herself. The classmates were all cheering behind her, shouting "Where there's a will, there's a way." It seems that Jiangnan's efforts were not in vain. Even Zhu Xiaobei, who was as tough as steel, eventually became as soft as silk.
Da Niu secretly intercepted Zhu Xiaobei at the door of the private room. Her eyes were sparkling from drinking, but she still couldn't resist her gossipy instincts. She swayed and asked, "Xiaobei, are you and Jiangnan really together?"
"What a load of rubbish!" Xiao Bei said. "He never said he liked me."
"Isn't this just pointless worrying? Of course he likes you. Outsiders see it clearly; the whole world knows. Don't you know Jiangnan's temper? He'll act all coy like a little girl when it matters. He's definitely too embarrassed to make the first move!"
"Really?" Zhu Xiaobei maintained this valuable spirit of skepticism.
Da Niu patted her underdeveloped chest, "Don't you believe me? I have much more experience in this than you do." That wasn't far from the truth; it was said that before her intellectual development, Da Niu had already fallen for Uncle Wang's eldest son. Zhu Xiaobei didn't truly experience the Jiangnan region until she was seventeen.
"Then what should I do?" she asked Da Niu for advice again.
Da Niu said matter-of-factly, "If he won't make it happen, then you should do it yourself. Don't you like him too? Don't pretend with me. It's just a matter of who speaks first. Why are you so concerned about this?" She then excitedly urged, "Go for it, Xiao Bei. Take the initiative to tell him. If he doesn't dare, then you confess to him."