The flight was at 4 PM, and the journey took less than two hours. The editor-in-chief, Zhang, who was going with her, was a much older and more experienced businesswoman. Song Jianan was not familiar with her, and their conversation was limited to work and interview matters.
They booked a five-star chain hotel. Song Jianan kept marveling at how rich the newspaper was, taking taxis everywhere and staying in five-star hotels. She realized that entertainment reporters could have such a high status.
After talking to Xu Yan on the phone, Song Jianan tidied herself up, looking exhausted, and sat on the sofa in the living room to wait for Xu Yan to pick her up. Not long after, just as she was drifting off to sleep from exhaustion, someone patted her face, and a soft voice couldn't hide the amusement in it, "Jianan, wake up, or you'll sleep until your face turns into a pancake."
She was immediately startled. A pair of large sunglasses came into view, and a pair of phoenix eyes blinked mischievously behind the lenses. Her rosy lips were slightly upturned. Song Jianan turned her face away and smiled, "Xu Yan, I still think you look like a gorilla when you wear sunglasses."
“What can I do? I’m a public figure.” Xu Yan pouted and shook the car keys in her hand. “If I don’t wear sunglasses to hide my real face in real life, I’m afraid my fans will be too many and too crazy. If they suddenly appear, you’ll be in the sea of people. What a blow that would be to my fellow alumni. What are you standing here for? Let’s go, I’ll treat you to dinner.”
"Tch, he's just a TV host. By the way, what other activities does he do besides eating?"
"Oh, after working at the newspaper for a few years, you've learned to be corrupt. Your nightlife team has inevitably grown quite large." Xu Yan turned to look at her, her eyes darting around. "Alright, let's combine our educational and entertaining dining and activity formats. Let's go hiking on Baiyun Mountain and have a meal while we're at it."
"ah--"
Guangzhou is still the same as I remember it, with both prosperity and dilapidation. The elevated highways built everywhere make this originally large city feel cramped and oppressive.
Night slowly descended before her eyes, the faint light on the horizon gradually receded, turning into a white halo, and then the darkness swept in all at once. One by one, the streetlights around her lit up, and the neon lights and incandescent bulbs on the tall buildings shone brightly.
Walking up from the side gate of Baiyun Mountain, there's a small eatery not far away. The owner is from Chaoshan and speaks to them in Cantonese. Song Jianan understands but can't speak it. The familiar tone of the Cantonese makes her feel a little lost. She can only watch Xu Yan skillfully order food with a blank expression. She sighs, "I really don't belong here."
Xu Yan looked up and said, "I ordered braised pork trotters. Would you like another serving of stir-fried rice noodles or rice vermicelli?"
"Stir-fried rice noodles, do you have honey-glazed char siu sausage? And a cup of mung bean and seaweed soup, please."
A suspicious look was cast over. "Song Jianan, nothing else belongs here except your stomach."
After eating and drinking to their hearts' content, it was already eight o'clock. There weren't many people on Baiyun Mountain, except for a few tour groups, probably on some kind of night tour. The road ahead was lined with dense trees and some ancient pavilions, with lights hidden in the corners. Song Jianan looked up through the gaps in the leaves. The sky was deep blue, and airplanes flew by, their wing lights flashing constantly as they moved slowly through the air, taking off or landing.
The higher they climbed, the colder it got. Song Jianan, who was wearing quite a lot, still felt a slight chill. Xu Yan, on the other hand, was wearing even less. Just as Song Jianan was about to ask if they were going back, Xu Yan turned around and slowly said, "Jianan, do you remember the last time we climbed Baiyun Mountain during our senior year?"
How could I forget? I'm afraid I'll never forget it. She paused for a moment, then nodded. Xu Yan continued with a smile, "Back then, you were standing on the top of Baiyun Mountain, and we both shouted out a name that belonged only to us. Thinking about it now, I really miss it."
Memories suddenly surfaced, like an uncontrollable curtain, instantly revealing the mess on stage to the hopeful audience. Before she could think further, she murmured to herself, "I remember, I've always remembered."
After walking a few steps forward, they reached the summit of Baiyun Mountain. Xu Yan stood atop the high steps, cupped her hands together, and called out, "Xu Bowen, Xu Bowen..."
Such a frail woman, yet her voice pierced the silent night sky with unstoppable force. The air seemed to ripple with sound waves, surging and churning, soaring over the dense forest, frantically searching for an exit like a trapped beast. The entire mountain slowly absorbed the sound, until it finally vanished.
She was already in tears.
Everything seemed like a repeat of that summer night in 2004.
However, the person Xu Yan spoke of was no longer the same one, and the past events, every word and phrase, were filled with powerful memories.
Those unrequited loves, those regrets left unresolved, when you look back, it turns out a century has already passed.
Time seemed to stand still. His indifferent and aloof features, his calm and peaceful voice on the phone—her love quietly and tightly intertwined with his, more intense than the summer sun. This entanglement lasted for so many years until he said, "I want to see you." Only then did she realize that she had become too deeply involved in the role, and that she would eventually have to step out of the illusion and into reality.
For so many years, she could only stand on this dark mountaintop, watching him fly, dance, sing, and flaunt his power.
Standing once more on this dark mountaintop, at this summit where the sky seemed within reach, her vision was shrouded in mist. It was as if, with all her remaining strength, she was calling out the name of the person she could never confess to, "Su Li, Su Li..."
I finally understand that he and she, and time itself, just brushed past each other.
Author's Note: Su Li really will appear in the next chapter, I'm not kidding!
I've been updating really fast lately, but I probably won't be updating for a while. There's an event going on, it'll probably be around Friday.
Song Jianan did indeed have a past with Su Li, which I originally intended to reveal in this chapter, but I deleted it.
Xiao Xi isn't bad either. Actually, sometimes I think, Song Jianan, just go for Xiao Xi! But I can't bear to see Su Li's weak, thin, and pale face, looking at me so pitifully.
I feel so guilty!
Brother Xu Bowen, you're such a perfect supporting male character, you fit in anywhere (actually, I just didn't want to come up with a name).
I swear that once I finish writing this, I will definitely make Xu Ge the male lead.
I was suddenly horrified to discover that there was no doctor, no Xiao He, no Qiu Tian in this article. I'm devastated!
Chapter 15
Song Jianan opened the car door and got in, immediately sinking into the seat, not wanting to move at all. The day's interviews had left her exhausted. She grabbed Xu Yan's shoulder and collapsed. "I'm so tired. My legs were shaking from standing all morning, and I haven't been able to close my mouth since I opened it this afternoon. Luckily, there's something called a recording pen, otherwise my Lingxi Finger would have been ruined."
"Tell me which big names you saw today?" Xu Yan asked curiously. "Did you see Yu Dan, Yi Zhongtian, Annie Baby, Guo Jingming, Yan Chongnian, or Yu Qiuyu?"
Song Jianan recalled, "Today I mainly interviewed Professor Liu Xinwu. I saw others, but I didn't pay attention."
"How is the old man?"
"He seemed like a very humble person. Although his verbal skills were far from his written skills, perhaps due to some unpleasantness from dealing with reporters before, he was very cautious and low-key when answering questions, even a bit boring. But what impressed me most was that when the publisher offered to host a banquet for him at the end of the interview, he declined. After a brief farewell, he turned and walked towards the street. I watched him blend into the crowd from behind, looking just like an ordinary person, before disappearing into the flow of people."
Xu Yan laughed and said, "What are you talking about? Your article is so sentimental and artistic!"
Song Jianan grumbled unhappily, "As for my true feelings, speaking of being sentimental, I was only sentimental when I saw Guo Jingming's book 'Summer Solstice' this afternoon. Oh right, I have a signed copy here."
"Oh, you got it through the back door, huh?"
"Yes, yes, Guo Jingming came to our place for a book signing four months ago. Our newspaper specially allocated a small space for him. I hadn't met him before, but I met him today. He seemed alright. It seems he'll be coming for another book signing in about a month. Maybe because of the Zhuang Yu incident, he's quite sensitive to reporters. He doesn't talk much and is very cautious."
Xu Yan patted Song Jianan's bag. "Where's the book? Let me see it. Why didn't you choose 'When Sorrow Flows Backwards'?"
"Don't touch it randomly. Get a dog and pet it slowly when you get back. I'll give you the book when I get back to the hotel. I haven't read the one you mentioned. I prefer 'Rush to the Dead Summer.' I remember when I was a junior in college, I read it in class and cried my eyes out. I couldn't get over it for three days."
"Oh, he died with his eyes wide open in disbelief."
Song Jianan rolled her eyes at her and said weakly, "Aunt Xu, don't ruin my rare moment of girlish sentimentality. I'm reminiscing about my youthful days!"
Traffic was congested all the way, and it was quite late when they arrived at the hotel. Song Jianan started complaining about being hungry again. The hotel's Western restaurant was still open, so she sat down, ordered a dessert, and then took the book out of her bag and handed it to Xu Yan, saying, "Take this and worship it."
"I don't think I've read it before; it doesn't seem to be very popular."
"The subject matter might be a bit niche, or perhaps it's not very commercial, and not very appealing to readers." Song Jianan picked up a spoon and gently scooped up a little cream. "But it tastes good, you can give it a try."
Xu Yan slowly turned the pages of the book, while Song Jianan casually sipped her orange juice. The hotel's Western restaurant was decorated warmly but not extravagantly, making one unconsciously indulge in it. Suddenly, Xu Yan spoke, her voice soft, "We've all forgotten that the years ahead are so long, long enough for me to fall in love with someone again, just like I fell in love with you back then."
Then she looked up, her eyes seemingly sparkling, "It's too emotional, I can't take it."
Song Jianan wanted to laugh out loud. The slightly bitter chocolate on her lips was slowly melting. For some reason, a thought struck her and she blurted out, "Unfortunately, when I meet other men, all I care about is whether there is a trace of you between their brows."
She was stunned after saying that. "Who said that? Why does it sound so familiar?" But the smile gradually froze on her lips, and she could only hear her own voice, slow and labored. "Xu Yan, it seems ridiculous that I've had a crush on a boy for so long, so long that I don't even know how long it's been. It feels like I just said goodnight to him yesterday, and today, everything has changed. What's worse is that I've gotten used to comparing him to everyone around me. I thought I could forget him, but as soon as I got here, I started thinking about him desperately."
"You know, during those years in college, you laughed at me for listening to Chen Sheng, Coldplay, watching Stephen Chow, playing tangrams and nine-link puzzles, talking on the phone until midnight, and crying alone in the washroom until morning. You know, I used to love a boy like that."
Xu Yan was stunned. She raised her hand and gently pressed it to her forehead. A soft laugh came out, but she slowly became breathless. "Oh my god, Song Jianan, are you writing a TV drama script? A Korean drama? If you like him, just tell him!"
"So, back then, you didn't even give a second glance to so many boys."
Song Jianan laughed too, a laugh that surprised even herself. The dazzling light from the crystal chandelier in the Western restaurant hurt her eyes. Her phone vibrated softly in her pocket. She secretly reached in and cut off the unknown call. "But there's no chance anymore, Xu Yan. I have a feeling I'll never see him again. Do you think I should forget him?"
"I don't know, Song Jianan. If it were so easy to forget, perhaps people would be happier."
Although she always tried to conceal those obscure past events and make her unrequited love seem beautiful and romantic, those complicated love affairs would always resurface on sunny days, mocking her satisfaction and happiness.
When all secrets are exposed to the light of day, how long will the night be?
If I had been a little braver back then, perhaps saying "I like you" wouldn't have been so difficult, and even if I had been rejected, I wouldn't have had so many regrets.
Time has passed, and those feelings, those pale blue letters from my youth, I don't know which direction they were sent to in my heart.
After seeing Xu Yan off, Song Jianan slowly walked back along the hotel lawn. It was already very late at night, and even Guangzhou in October felt slightly chilly. She realized that she hadn't brought her room key card when she got on the elevator, so she had to go to the front desk.
A manager-looking person was standing at the front desk. Song Jianan walked over and explained the situation. She glanced at the brochure in the person's hand and a familiar yet unfamiliar face came into view.
Almost like being struck by lightning, she felt a sharp pain as if her heart had been pierced, yet she felt no pain whatsoever. She just stood there, stunned, until the receptionist called her. Song Jianan snapped out of her daze. The receptionist seemed to sense her unusual gaze and looked at her suspiciously, still wearing a professional smile. "I am the hotel's lobby manager. May I ask if you need anything, miss?"
The person in the photo exudes a professional aura, a cool and aloof demeanor, and a subtle arrogance. His features have lost some of their youthful innocence and gained more confidence, almost perfectly matching the Su Li she remembered.
She never imagined that she and he could meet in real life in such a dramatic way.
The voice, so weak, seemed not to come from him, but from a distance as if separated by thousands of miles: "Su Li?"
The lobby manager was somewhat surprised. He glanced down at the documents in his hand, but his voice remained calm. "You know General Manager Su? He's the president of our hotel."
As he spoke, he reached for the phone in his hand. It was an internal line. Still stunned and bewildered, Song Jianan heard him say, "Ms. Su, excuse me, there's a guest here looking for you. He seems to be an old acquaintance."
She stood there in the empty hall, watching Su Li, whom she hadn't seen for many, many years, slowly walk towards her in a sharp black suit, as if watching a time that could never be returned slowly approach her.
He seemed unchanged, still the same as I remembered, with a thin spine and a clean, jade-like appearance. However, his face no longer had that illusory pallor, but rather a nonchalant camouflage. If the teenage Su Li was a clear, transparent spring that exuded a slight chill in the sweltering summer, then the current Su Li was as deep and unfathomable as the sea under the cover of night.
Unfathomable depths, temperature, or flow direction; mysterious and stoic.
Su Li, Su Li, no one knows what such a name means to Song Jianan.
It seems that all the love in her life was squandered in her youth, and all her feelings were consumed by Su Li alone, leaving her with nothing.
She had thought their encounter was destined, like birds and fish, but his sudden, unexpected appearance before her caught her completely off guard. He walked towards her, so real. Song Jianan stiffly maintained her composure, using a calm expression to mask the turmoil within her, until he smiled slightly and said, "It's you?"
It's me, it's me, but who am I?
It's that girl who went to high school with you, that girl who secretly texted you, that girl who helped you find Coldplay and Lisa Ono's records, that girl who comforted you and said everything would be alright.
Will you find out?
Song Jianan didn't even know if he had that memory. Her stiff, cold fingers gently gripped the hem of her clothes. She asked calmly with a smile, "Do you know me?"
A handsome smile curved his lips. This was the second time Song Jianan could remember him smiling at her. "I remember, you were in the same school as me, but not in the same class, and we even received scholarships together."