Then she turned to Shijun and said, "I just told the young master of the Xu family that after your father talked to him yesterday, he kept saying that it would be great if you were half as good as him—capable, lively, and without any of the bad habits of young people these days."
"Look at that swagger! If you were a girl, your father would be holding a marriage contest right away and bringing in the young master of the Xu family!" Mrs. Shen's casual joke struck Shijun and Manzhen as somewhat abruptly. How did it come to be, suddenly involving Shijun's marriage? Even though they knew she was joking, they still felt a little uneasy.
As Shijun ate his porridge, he said to his mother, "I'll have the driver buy train tickets later; they're leaving this afternoon." Mrs. Shen said, "Why are you leaving so soon? Why not stay a couple more days? In a few days, Shijun will be going to Shanghai to celebrate his uncle's birthday. Wouldn't it be better if you waited for him to go with you?" Unable to persuade him to stay, she added, "Come again next spring and stay a few more days." Shijun thought, "Next spring, perhaps Manzhen and I will already be married." Did his mother even know about their relationship?
Mrs. Shen smiled and said, "Where are you going to play today? You could go to Xuanwu Lake and take a boat ride around it. Isn't Miss Gu unable to walk much?" She then told Manzhen some folk remedies for frostbite and chatted with her at length, asking about her family. Perhaps these were just ordinary social conversations, but to Shijun, they seemed to have special meaning.
That morning they lingered on the lake for a while. After lunch, Shuhui and Manzhen returned to Shanghai. As usual, Mrs. Shen bought many snacks and fruits to see them off, and it seemed that both sides parted on good terms. When Shijun saw them off at the train station, Manzhen waved to him from the train window. He saw the ruby ring on her hand sparkling in the sunlight, and he felt very comforted.
He returned home, and as soon as he went upstairs, Mrs. Shen greeted him, saying, "Yipeng has been looking for you for ages." Shijun was surprised, because they had just been playing together yesterday, and now he was back again; sometimes they wouldn't see each other for a year or two. He entered the room, and Yipeng, seeing him, said, "Are you busy right now? Let's go find somewhere to sit; I have something to tell you." Shijun said, "Can't we talk here?" Yipeng didn't answer, his leather shoes clicking as he walked to the door, looked outside, then went to the window, stared blankly out the window for a moment, and suddenly turned around and said, "Cuizhi has broken off our engagement." Shijun was also stunned, asking, "When did this happen?" Yipeng said, "Just last night. I was taking her home, first Wenxian, then her. When we got to her house, she asked me to come in and sit for a while. Her mother had gone out to play cards, and no one was home. She told me she wanted to break off the engagement and return the ring to me." Shijun said, "She didn't say anything?"
After a moment of silence, Yi Peng said again, "If she had given me a little something to show for it, to lay a foundation for me, it would have been better—but then she suddenly pulled this stunt!" Shi Jun said, "As far as I can tell, it's not something that happened in just one or two days. You must have some idea about it too."
Yi Peng said with a bitter face, "Weren't we having a great time eating here yesterday?"
"It's nothing at all." Shi Jun thought for a moment and said, "Isn't that right!" Yi Peng said angrily, "To be honest, this engagement was partly my family's idea, not my own. But now that it's officially announced and everyone knows, if she suddenly changes her mind, people will be suspicious and think I'm crazy. Honestly, my reputation is severely damaged." Seeing how distressed he was, Shi Jun couldn't think of anything else to comfort him, so he said, "Actually, if she's like this, it's better to find out before the wedding."
Yi Peng hesitated for a long time, then said, "I haven't told anyone about this. Even when I came here today and saw my sister, I didn't tell her. I was thinking of asking Wen Xian—isn't Wen Xian her best friend? Maybe she knows what happened." Shi Jun breathed a sigh of relief and quickly said, "By the way, Miss Dou was with us yesterday too. Go ask her, she might know as well."
Encouraged by him, Yi Peng immediately went to find Wen Xian. He came again the next day, saying, "I went to see Wen Xian. Wen Xian is quite insightful—I really can't believe it, she's such a girl. Talking with her made me feel much better. Guess what she said? She said that if Cui Zhi has this kind of temper, she won't be happy after marriage, and it's better to find out before marriage." Shi Jun thought, "Huh, isn't this what I advised him? He heard it from somewhere else and came to tell me it so seriously, it's really a bit infuriating." Thinking this, he smiled and said, "Yes, that's what I said too." Yi Peng seemed not to hear him, just nodding and scratching his head, saying, "I think what she said makes a lot of sense, don't you think?" Shi Jun said, "Then does she know what the reason is for Cui Zhi this time—" Yi Peng said, "She promised to find out for me and told me to go and get a reply today."
This time, he went, but didn't return for several days. The day he came back, Shijun was preparing to leave for Shanghai to celebrate his uncle's birthday when his uncle suddenly sent a letter saying he wasn't planning to celebrate this year, but instead intended to come to Nanjing to avoid the birthday celebrations and stay with them for a couple of days. He added that he hadn't seen his sister and brother-in-law for many years and wanted to get together. Shijun had originally planned to take this opportunity to go to Shanghai, but now he couldn't go and had to wait at least a few more days, which made him very frustrated. That day, Yipeng happened to come, and Shijun felt a headache coming on whenever he saw him.
Yi Peng seemed alright, unlike his serious demeanor from the previous two days. This time, he sat there silently smoking, and after a long while, said, "Shi Jun, we've been old friends for many years. Tell me the truth, do you think I'm a strange person?" Shi Jun didn't quite understand what he meant by that question, but fortunately, he didn't need to answer, so he continued, "Wen Xian analyzed me, and I think she's quite right. She said that when I'm smart, I'm smarter than anyone else, and when I'm confused, I'm more confused than anyone else." Hearing this, Shi Jun couldn't help but raise his eyebrows in surprise. He had never imagined that Yi Peng could be "smarter than anyone else" when he wanted to be.
Yi Peng said somewhat ashamedly, "Really, you wouldn't believe it, but when I'm confused, I'm more confused than anyone else. Actually, I don't love Cui Zhi, I love Wen Xian, and I don't even realize it myself!"
He married Wenxian soon after.
Eighteen Spring Eleven
When Shi Jun's maternal uncle, Feng Jusun, came to Nanjing, his purpose was to avoid celebrating his birthday. Shi Jun's family still prepared a birthday banquet for him, but they didn't disturb other relatives and friends; it was just the family. Mrs. Shen was inevitably busy again. She felt she hadn't had such a pleasant life since she married into the family. Her brother's arrival was perfect; she could show him that after a lifetime of hardship, she still had such good fortune in her old age.
Jusun brought several tins of imported candies and biscuits, saying, "These are from our young mistress for her godson." Because Xiao Jian was born weak and frail, and fearing he wouldn't survive, he had many godmothers, including Jusun's wife. The young mistress was always happy that someone cared about Xiao Jian, saying that once he recovered, she would definitely take a picture and show it to his godmothers.
Upon seeing Xiaotong, Jusun thought to herself, "People our age just can't afford to get sick. A serious illness makes us look incredibly old!" Xiaotong also thought, "Jusun's dentures are ruined; he looks like a withered old woman! He wasn't like this last time I saw him." Despite this, the two brothers-in-law were overjoyed to be reunited after so long. Jusun inquired about his illness, and Xiaotong said, "I'm much better now; only one finger on my left hand is still numb." Jusun said, "Last time I heard you were sick, I wanted to come see you. At that time, you were still living over there, and I thought your aunt wouldn't welcome me. She must have misunderstood me a bit, right? I think when you were made to kneel as punishment, you must have blamed everything on me."
Xiaotong just smiled. Mentioning that incident from years ago—the time he went to Shanghai for a trip and his concubine chased after him, causing a huge scene—he couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic. Talking to Jusun about their "tumultuous" experiences in the entertainment industry during that period, he had many感慨 (feelings/reflections). He suddenly remembered and asked Jusun, "Do you remember Li Lu?" Before he could finish his sentence, Jusun slapped her thigh and said, "I almost forgot—I'll tell you some news, but it's not exactly news anymore, it happened two years ago. Once I heard someone say that Li Lu got married and came out of retirement, no longer working as a dancer, practically a prostitute. I said, I'd like to go see for myself, see if she still puts on airs!"
Xiaotong laughed and asked, "Did you go?" Jusun laughed and said, "I didn't go in the end. After all, I'm getting old, and my temper isn't as short anymore. If it were me, I would have definitely gone to vent my anger!"
When they first met Li Lu, she was very popular. Ju Sun always considered himself a "veteran entertainer," and he would never let others waste money when he took them out. However, Xiao Tong spent a lot of money on Li Lu but didn't get anything in return, and the trip ended badly. Ju Sun was the first to feel that he had lost face, and he still feels resentful when he talks about it now.
Xiao Tong was pleased to hear about Li Lu's recent situation. He sighed and said, "I can't believe how quickly she's fallen from grace!" Xiao Tong laughed and said, "No, let me tell you why I suddenly thought of her. I recently saw a girl who looks a lot like her."
Jusun chuckled and said, "Oh, where did you see that? Have you been out playing recently?"
Xiaotong laughed, "Don't talk nonsense. This is one of her young ladies. She really looks like her, and she's also from Shanghai." Jusun said, "Could she be her sister? I remember Li Lu had several sisters, but back then they were all snotty-nosed girls. What was Lu's original surname? It wasn't really Li, was it?" Jusun said, "Her surname is Gu." Xiaotong was taken aback and said, "That's it! This person's surname is also Gu." Jusun asked, "What does she look like?" Xiaotong said conflictedly, "I didn't look closely. She's not bad-looking, is she?"
Jusun said, "Born into a family like this, unless you're truly ugly, you'd definitely still be making a living this way." Jusun seemed very interested, pressing him to tell her where he had met this young lady, as if she wanted to expose the deception as a form of revenge. Xiaotong only vaguely replied that he had met her at a friend's house, and he was reluctant to say that his own son had brought her home.
That evening, when no one was around, he said to his wife, "Isn't this strange? That Miss Gu looked so familiar the moment I saw her. I wondered who she resembled... she looked like a dancer Ju-sun used to know. And coincidentally, that person's surname was also Gu—I just overheard Ju-sun saying that. She also said that person is no longer a dancer and has fallen on hard times. This Miss Gu must be related to her. They must be sisters, otherwise they wouldn't look so alike." Mrs. Chen, at first, didn't quite grasp what he meant, just muttering, "Hmm, hmm, oh, oh..." Xiao-tong asked, "Is it fake?"
Mrs. Shen said, "I think Miss Gu is quite nice. I really can't tell!" Xiao Tong said, "What do you know? People like them say one thing to one person and another to another. It's not hard for them to fool old ladies like you who never leave their homes!"
Mrs. Shen was speechless.
Xiaotong continued, "Does Shijun know anything about her background?" Mrs. Shen replied, "How could he know about such family matters? He and Miss Gu are just colleagues. Colleagues! She's a female employee now, but who knows what she did before—people from families like that, unless they're really ugly, will always end up in this kind of job." Mrs. Shen was speechless for a long time. She could only push the blame onto Shuhui, saying, "I think if this is true, we should tell the young master of the Xu family and give him a heads-up. I heard Shijun say that she's a friend of the young master of the Xu family." Xiaotong said, "I really value Xu Shuhui. If this is the case, then I really feel sorry for him, so young, getting involved with such a woman." Mrs. Shen said, "I think he definitely doesn't know. Actually, we can't be sure whether it's true or not." Xiaotong remained silent for a long time.
In the end, he simply said, "It's not difficult to find out, is it? But since it has nothing to do with us, we don't need to bother with it."
Mrs. Shen pondered all night. She wanted to have a good talk with Shijun. Just as she was thinking this, Shijun also wanted to find an opportunity to have a long talk with her and reveal his engagement to Manzhen. That morning, Mrs. Shen was alone in the sitting room, polishing two tin candlesticks. The end of the year was approaching, and these things were all brought out. Shijun came in, sat down opposite her, and smiled, "Uncle, why are you leaving after only two days?" Mrs. Shen said, "It's almost the New Year, and there are things to do at home." Shijun said, "I'll see Uncle off to Shanghai." Mrs. Shen paused for a moment before smiling and saying, "You're always thinking about going to Shanghai." Shijun smiled without saying anything, so Mrs. Shen smiled again and explained for him, saying, "I know, you people who are used to living in Shanghai always feel bored staying elsewhere. You can go and have fun for a couple of days, but come back early. At the end of the year, the shop needs to settle accounts, and there are still many things to do at home." Shijun hummed in agreement.
He sat there, trying to come up with something to say to her. After chatting for a while, Mrs. Shen suddenly asked, "Are you acquainted with Miss Gu?" Shi Jun's heart skipped a beat. He thought she must have done it on purpose, deliberately steer the conversation to prevent him from being unable to speak. His mother was so good to him. He could take this opportunity to tell her the truth. But she wouldn't let him speak, continuing, "I'm not asking you for anything else. Last night, your father told me that Miss Gu looks very much like a dancer he once saw." Then she told him everything, saying that the dancer's surname was also Gu, and that she and Miss Gu must be sisters; that the dancer, his father said, was someone his uncle knew, or perhaps he was someone she was in love with, but he was pinning the blame on his uncle. Shi Jun listened, speechless for a long time. He composed himself before saying, "I think Father was just guessing. How can he be so sure? There are many people in the world who look alike—" Mrs. Shen smiled and said, "Yes, there are many people with the same surname. It's just a coincidence that two things happened at the same time, so it's no wonder your father is suspicious." Shijun said, "I've been to Miss Gu's house. She has many younger siblings. Her father has passed away, and she only has a mother and a grandmother. It's a very proper family. There's absolutely no way something like this could happen." Mrs. Shen frowned and said, "I also said that they don't look alike. I think this young lady is quite nice! But your father is just like that, so easily swayed. He's already formed this prejudice in his mind, and you'll never be able to reason with him about it. Otherwise, why would he get so worked up over such trivial things before? And with Auntie stirring things up, who could possibly listen to reason?"
From her tone, Shijun could tell that she knew everything about him and Manzhen. While Manzhen was staying here, Mrs. Shen hadn't revealed anything, but Shijun had underestimated her; he hadn't expected her to have this much involvement.
In fact, old-fashioned women may not be good at much else, but they are good at "pretending." Because they are used to suppressing their feelings, it is very natural for them to remain calm and pretend to be deaf and dumb, and they do not find it difficult.
Mrs. Shen continued, "Your father said you didn't know if you knew Miss Gu's background. I said, 'How would he know? Miss Gu was someone Shuhui knew first; she's his friend.' Your father is really ridiculous. He liked Shuhui so much at first, but then he immediately turned around and said bad things about him, saying that he's young and not ambitious."
Shi Jun remained silent. After a moment of silence, Mrs. Shen whispered, "When you see Shu Hui tomorrow, try to persuade him." Shi Jun coldly replied, "This is a personal matter. What's the use of friends advising? Not to mention friends, even family members interfering won't help." Mrs. Shen was rendered speechless by his words.
Shi Jun himself realized his earlier words had been too cold-hearted and inappropriate towards his mother, so he softened his voice and smiled at her, saying, "Mom, don't you advocate for free choice in marriage?" Mrs. Shen replied, "Yes, that's true, but—she has to be from a good family." Shi Jun became impatient again, saying, "Didn't I just say that her family absolutely doesn't have such a background?" Mrs. Shen said nothing. The two sat in silence facing each other. Later, a maid came in and said, "Uncle is asking the Second Young Master to play chess with him." Shi Jun then left. From then on, the matter was never mentioned again.
Mrs. Shen seemed guilty, as if she had done something wrong. She smiled before speaking to her husband and brothers, being exceptionally apologetic. Jusun had said he would leave the next day, and Shijun had promised to see him off. Mrs. Shen sent someone to buy roast duck, duck gizzards, and Nanjing's famous candied fruit and pine nut cakes, making a four-color local specialty. She brought it to Shijun's room and asked him to take it to his uncle's house, saying, "They brought things for Xiaojian, and I thought I'd bring something for their children too." She then asked Shijun, "Are you planning to stay at your uncle's house this time? You should buy some things for them too; you're always bothering them." Shijun replied, "I know." Mrs. Shen said, "Should you bring plenty of spending money?" She repeatedly urged him to return early. He had been to Shanghai many times, and she had never been so worried about him. She sat in his room for a while, clearly wanting to say many things to him, but unable to speak.
Shijun was also very sad. Because of his sadness, he felt extremely disgusted with his mother.
They set off the next day, taking the afternoon train and having dinner on board. Upon arriving in Shanghai, Shijun saw his uncle home and sat there for a while. His uncle said, "It's so late, why don't you stay here? In this cold weather, you might run into pig butchers; those things are especially common at the end of the year." Shijun laughed and said he wasn't afraid, then took his leave and hailed a rickshaw, carrying him and his suitcase to Shuhui's house. They were already asleep, but Shuhui's mother got up again to make his bed and asked if he had eaten dinner. Shijun smiled and said, "I ate a long time ago; I just had noodles at my uncle's house."
Shu Hui happened to be home that day, as it was Saturday. The two of them shared a bed and talked late into the night, reminiscent of their dormitory life during their student days. Shi Jun said, "Let me tell you a joke. The other day, after I saw you off at the train station, when I got home, Yi Peng came and told me that Cui Zhi had broken off her engagement with him." Shu Hui was shocked and asked, "Oh? Why?" Shi Jun said, "I just didn't know! — There's nothing funny about that; the funny part is yet to come." He briefly recounted the events, saying that they had dinner at his house that night, and after dinner, Yi Peng took Cui Zhi home. She returned the ring to him without explaining why. Later, Yi Peng went to ask Wen Xian, because Wen Xian was Cui Zhi's good friend. Shu Hui listened intently, recalling the scene on Qingliang Mountain.
That day, he and Cuizhi went to the temple with a sense of adventure to uncover the monks' secrets. After wandering around aimlessly for a long time, they gave up on their original goal. Seeing the mountain, they childishly said, "Let's climb to the top." The sky was overcast, and the wind was strong. When they reached the top, they sat there and talked for a long time. They talked about unrelated things, but they both felt the same way: they never expected to meet again like this. So they were reluctant to leave and didn't descend the mountain until it was almost dark. That part of the path was very difficult to walk; it was almost impossible to go down. In the end, he had to pull her down. He could have kissed her casually, and he did want to, but he didn't. Because he already felt too guilty towards her. His attitude that day was one of complete conscience. But unexpectedly, she immediately went back and broke her promise to Yipeng, as if she suddenly couldn't bear it for even a moment longer.
He was lost in thought when he suddenly heard Shijun say with a smile, "When he's smart, he's smarter than anyone else—" Shuhui asked, "Who are you talking about?" Shijun said, "Who else? Yipeng." Shuhui said, "Yipeng is smarter than anyone else?" Shijun laughed and said, "That's not what I said, it's what Wenxian said. What, didn't you hear me after all that?"
"Asleep?" Shu Hui said, "No, I was thinking about Cui Zhi. She's so strange. What's the reason you're thinking about her?" Shi Jun said, "Who knows? Anyway, those spoiled young ladies are really hard to please."
Shu Hui remained silent. He struck a match in the darkness, lit a cigarette, and began to smoke. Shi Jun said, "Give me one too." Shu Hui tossed him a pack of cigarettes and a pack of matches. Shi Jun said, "I'm so tired today, I can't sleep at all."
The moon has risen very late these past few days. In the latter half of the night, the hazy moonlight shines on the frost-covered roof tiles, a cold light illuminating the entire sky. Then comes the crowing of roosters, who take it as daybreak. Many families keep a rooster in preparation for the New Year, and the crowing fills the air, making it sound more like a village than a large city. Lying in bed listening to this, I feel a sense of desolation.