Одинокий город закрыт - Глава 131
“Xi Lan…” What did Xi Lan mean by that?
"Weimian." He suddenly stood up, reached out and picked me up from the ground, cupped my face in his hands, his clear eyes filled with longing as he carefully examined me, as if he wanted to imprint me in his heart and eyes. He leaned down and placed a kiss on my brow, his voice barely audible, "Weimian, I can't bear to part with you, I can't bear to let you go."
Xi Lan, a pang of sorrow gripped my heart, and I instinctively reached for his hand. Although I still didn't know who had spread the rumors of my lineage as a descendant of the Fengshen Kingdom's royal family and the saying "whoever possesses one possesses the world," my identity was now public knowledge, and the rumors were known throughout the land. Yet, I hadn't encountered much trouble because of it. My uncle's affair with the Crown Prince stemmed more from Old Man Yun's ambition, so the rumors had caused me virtually no trouble—a very strange thing. Aside from Xiu Ruo and Long Yao, Tianqing remained completely silent. I still retained the title of Princess Xiyue of Tianqing. In the nearly two months I'd been in Tianqing, and in my current situation, had Xi Lan been silently making sacrifices, quietly resolving all the troubles and problems without my knowledge? Or perhaps it wasn't just Tianqing. Old Man Yun had previously been in contact with Xilan. When Xilan was sent to Longyao as Tianqing's envoy, she had a long talk with Old Man Yun at the Yun residence. They discussed whether Xiu Ruo had agreed to my return to Longyao and my relationship with the fox. This involved not only the fox's efforts and my own hard work, but also Xilan's support. Xilan must have done and sacrificed a lot to earn Old Man Yun's words, "Actually, the Sixth Prince of Tian has sacrificed even more. As long as you don't regret it!"
But if Xi Lan's actions were partly to help me, why would Xi Lan have the intention to help me? Before his amnesia, Xi Lan never forced me, letting me do as I pleased, but he also showed no signs of letting go. After his amnesia, Xi Lan often acted forcefully, and his casual mentions of marriage were half genuine and half feigned, so we couldn't be sure. But at that time, he couldn't remember any of the little things we had done together, so why would he do these things for me? Unless, unless something happened during the time Xi Lan was saving me and during my coma that made him regain his memory, understand feelings, and know how to let go. From the time I regained consciousness until I met Qing Lin at Qi Qing Pass and stayed at the Long Yao military camp, I could feel the inner conflict, struggle, and turmoil in Xi Lan's heart. I could also feel Xi Lan changing day by day, becoming closer and closer to the original him, as if he was slowly regaining that gentle and refined demeanor, treating me more and more gently each day, with clear eyes, a warm smile, a clear and gentle voice, tender and considerate, often making me feel as if I had fallen back to the time when I first met and spent time with him. Is this gradual transformation process actually the process by which Xilan gradually regains her memories?
Actions take precedence over consciousness; before I even realized it, I had already run outside and brought the pipa back.
“Weimian…” He looked at me, a hint of doubt in his voice.
I pulled him down to sit, and with a flick of my right hand, "Ambush from Ten Sides" was unleashed.
"Xi Lan, do you still remember this piece?" I stopped after playing only a short section, looked at Xi Lan, and asked quickly and urgently, my heart pounding as I anxiously awaited her answer.
"Ten steamed buns." He suddenly chuckled, his expression relaxing, giving off a warm and welcoming feeling.
My heartstrings relaxed, and I even subconsciously took a deep breath before putting down the pipa, taking Xi Lan's hand, a smile on my lips, but my vision gradually blurred, and I said softly, "Xi Lan really still remembers this piece. Actually, it's called 'Ambush from Ten Sides.' I didn't mean to deceive Xi Lan back then."
Although it was unintentional, and although it was just something I made up on a whim out of spite, now that I'm confessing, aside from the secret that I come from the 21st century—which no one else knows—I've finally been completely honest with Xi Lan. This is the only thing I can do now.
“He’s been waiting outside for a long time,” he said suddenly, neither confirming nor denying.
Him? Who? Ye Feng? It shouldn't be Ye Feng. How could Ye Feng not know that Xi Lan was here? He just didn't stop her. Otherwise, if Xi Lan and Ye Feng had started fighting, Xi Lan wouldn't have been able to get in so easily. So, the "him" Xi Lan was referring to was the fox? As I hurriedly looked outside, I seemed to hear the soft sound of clothes fluttering beside me.
"Xi Lan!" My heart sank, and I instinctively reached out, as if a corner of her clothes had slipped through my fingers, but my hand was empty, and I hadn't grasped anything.
"Xi Lan!" I shouted, got up and rushed in the direction where the white figure disappeared, but after running two steps, I stepped on the hem of my own long red dress and fell to the ground.
"Qianqian." A familiar voice called out, and two hands lifted me up from the ground.
"Xi Lan!" I shouted again in the direction where the figure disappeared, "Xi Lan, Xi Lan..."
The owner of those hands didn't say anything, but carried me to the bedside, held me in his lap, and gently wiped away the tears that kept overflowing from the corners of my eyes.
"Brother, Xilan is gone." Xilan rushed over like this, hurrying from the battle in Yecang, as if just to confirm with me personally whether I was happy—whether marrying a fox was happiness—and then left in such a hurry. I suddenly felt that even if Xilan had the intention to let me be happy, or even if he had given everything for my happiness, even if he still had me in his heart and couldn't let me go, after today, we might never have the chance to see each other again.
"Qianqian should wish him well." He patted my back gently, then suddenly hugged me tightly, and said with a sigh in my ear.
Bless him? If Xilan can let go, if Xilan can find peace, if Xilan can see things clearly, then of course I will smile and offer my blessings. But when I think of everything he has done for me, my heart aches uncontrollably.
"Brother, I can't let him go." I looked up at the person in front of me, thinking about how in the short time from Xi Lan's appearance to his departure, I had gained a different understanding of everything around me. I'm afraid that for a very long time to come, I will think about Xi Lan, wondering if he is doing well, wondering if he is happy. Xi Lan is already imprinted in my heart, and I will never forget him in this lifetime. But now, he is a wound in my heart, causing me pain and pain. Even if the wound heals, it will still leave the deepest mark in my heart.
"I know, I understand." His voice was gentle as he stroked my cheek with one hand, wiping away the tears on my face.
He said he knew, he said he understood. Xi Lan said he had been waiting outside for a long time, so he knew Xi Lan was inside and heard what Xi Lan and I were saying. Fox, did he not come in to interrupt as usual?
"Xi Lan, has he done a lot for me? And why did he suddenly choose to let go?" I reached out and held his hand that was moving across my face. Looking into his peach blossom eyes, I spoke each word softly and slowly, as if each word would eventually fall back into my heart, making my heart suddenly feel heavy.
I know that if even the fox doesn't mind that I can't let go of Xilan, and if even the fox is willing to turn a blind eye to Xilan's arrival during our wedding, then the fox must have known about Xilan a long time ago, which is why it is so tolerant, or rather, so magnanimous.
His peach blossom eyes suddenly deepened, a lazy smile appeared on his lips, and he said in a languid voice, "All I know is that he saved Qianqian back then. Qianqian was unconscious for more than a month. During that month, Qianqian missed her older brother day and night. I think she felt the same way after she woke up!"
"Tch!" I slapped away the fox's face, which kept getting closer. Looking at his tone and expression, I suddenly felt very annoyed. I rolled my eyes at him and said with disdain, "I couldn't even speak back then, so what are you talking about!"
That stinky fox is a narcissist. I still have brain cells; I can't just believe whatever he says.
"Qianqian can speak, but she can't make a sound." He laughed even more seductively, and suddenly a fox-like paw touched my lips, his slender fingers slowly moving along the outline of my lips, his voice alluring.
I swatted the fox's paw away again and continued to scoff, "You know lip reading too?"
“Qianqian…” He narrowed his peach blossom eyes and suddenly leaned closer to me. Before my lips touched his, I slid down his knees with incredible speed and took five steps back to maintain a safe distance.
If what the fox said is true, that I thought of the fox day and night while I was unconscious, and even on the nights when I was in the same camp with Xi Lan, I know that Xi Lan would be watching over me and keeping me company even when she thought I was asleep. If Xi Lan could read lips, and if I really kept thinking of the fox repeatedly while I was unconscious and in my dreams, is it possible that Xi Lan would understand my feelings for the fox and choose to let go?
As I was pondering this, a weight suddenly appeared on my head. I looked up and caught not only the pearl pendants hanging from my phoenix crown, but also the fox holding the bridal veil, about to place it over my head.
"Wh...what are you doing?" My neck was pressed down another two centimeters, which made it a little difficult for me to speak.
My eyes lit up with red as the fox still placed the bridal veil over my head. Just as I was about to reach out to pull it off, he took my hand and led me forward slowly. His voice came clearly, word by word, with a hint of unease, saying, "Lifting the veil, drinking the nuptial wine, and entering the bridal chamber—only after these three rites can the marriage be considered truly complete."
My face flushed, and I instinctively withdrew my hand. The fox didn't insist, instead placing his hands on my shoulders, gesturing for me to sit down. My vision was completely blurred with red; I couldn't see anything at all. Only after sitting down did I realize I was back on the dragon and phoenix bed, and my face burned even hotter. That stinky fox knew Xi Lan was coming but didn't disturb me. He didn't say a word when he saw me tear off my bridal veil and throw away my phoenix crown. I thought he was truly as the rumors said—deeply in love with me, completely devoted, and utterly obedient to my every whim. I never expected him to be secretly harboring some resentment.
"Qianqian..." With this contented murmur, my vision brightened. The bright red bridal veil had been lifted, and the fox held a wedding scale in its hand. Its long, narrow, and slightly upturned peach blossom eyes looked at me, and the deep affection in its eyes made me lower my head involuntarily.
Clouds Drunk and the Moon Slightly Asleep (Revised Edition) Volume Four: A Secluded Melancholy and Hidden Resentment Postscript
Chapter word count: 11396 Update time: 08-12-24 13:03
postscript
The tenth day of the wedding.
I had the entire fox's palace to myself. It wasn't that I was being considerate of the palace maids and giving them a chance to slack off; it was simply that I didn't want anyone to see the dignified Empress of the Dragon Kingdom sprawled on the dragon bed, lost in thought. Just thinking about being lost in thought made me abruptly sit up, then cover my ears and scream.
Ah! Ah! Ah! That fox has broken his promise! When he proposed to me before issuing the marriage decree, he said that after marriage I could do whatever I wanted, that I would not only be his wife, but also his empress, and that if I wished, I would still be the Prime Minister of Longyao Kingdom. Of course I would! Going to court is so much fun! Besides, after the wedding, the life of an empress is so boring and dull. There are no elders I need to greet, no women scheming against me for my man. Every day, besides staring at that fox, I'm surrounded by a bunch of "servants" calling me "Empress" this and "Empress" that.
No, I want to attend court early! Why should I listen to the fox and wait until half a year after my wedding to dress up as a man and go to court? I couldn't stand being cooped up in the palace for more than a few days, and the thought of another 170 boring days like this fills me with despair.
With incredible agility, I rolled out of bed and ran to the fox's large desk to spread out a paper and write a negotiation document. I couldn't help it; ever since the fox resumed his morning court sessions three days after our wedding, leaving me alone in his harem, I'd become bored, anxious, and started remembering his previous promises. So, I brought up the issue of attending court several times a day, only to experience failure again and again. A few days later, today, I finally realized that bringing up this demand and condition face-to-face with the fox was the most foolish approach. Because before you could even finish speaking, the rest would be swallowed whole by him, not relayed through his ears to his fox-like mind. The result was predictable. Therefore, this time, I must change my approach—a civilized, written protest—to once again assert my rights.
I had barely written down the four characters "wise and mighty" and had only finished a tenth of my flattery when I heard a strange noise around me. Ye Feng and the others were guarding outside, so in theory, not even a fly could get in. I looked up in confusion and saw a small black pigeon that I hadn't seen in a long time fluttering its wings and flying towards me, finally landing on the two characters "wise and mighty".
"Uh, little black dove?" After staring at those small eyes for several seconds, I touched the Phoenix Orchid Jade Pendant on my body and asked it out of boredom.
Its little eyes stared at me for a few more seconds, then it paced over the words "wise," turned its head and neck, pecked at its wing with its sharp beak, and ignored me. I snorted inwardly, thinking that everything related to that fox was like this, then reached out and grabbed the little black pigeon, pulled out the small piece of paper tied to its claw, and unfolded it.