Mrs. Gu turned on the light and led Shijun to the next room. Standing in the doorway, leaning against the broom handle, she smiled and asked him, "Have you been busy lately?" After a few pleasantries, she said, "We're having dinner here today. There's not much to eat—don't be shy!" Shijun felt a little embarrassed to have come all this way just in time for dinner, but there was nothing he could do. Mrs. Gu then went downstairs to cook, and when they needed to add more dishes, there was another flurry of activity.
Shijun stood alone by the window, looking into the alleyway, but didn't see Manzhen return. He knew Manzhen lived in this room, but it was full of other people's things: her mother's sewing basket, eyeglass case, children's basketball shoes, and so on. A large photograph of her father hung on the wall. One of her sweaters lay on a bed; that must have been her bed. Her room was like a dormitory, lacking any personality. Looking around, the only things that truly belonged to her were the books on the bookshelf. There were magazines, novels, translated novels, and textbooks she used at school—English readers with peeling spines. Shijun looked through them one by one; many were books he hadn't read before, but he felt they were all his books because they were hers.
Manzhen returned. She walked in and smiled, "Have you been here for a while?" Shijun smiled, "Not long." Manzhen put down her handbag and books. The air between them was a little strange today; she felt as if her every move was being closely watched. Blushing, she went to the dressing mirror to fix her hair and straightened her clothes, saying, "The tram was so crowded today, everyone was out of shape, and my socks got all dirty." Shijun also looked in the mirror and laughed, "Look, I went to Nanjing, didn't I get a tan?" He stood behind Manzhen looking in the mirror, too close to see if his own face was tanned, but he did notice that Manzhen's face was red.
Manzhen gave him a perfunctory look and said, "It's always like this after being in the sun. It turns red at first, and it takes a couple of days for it to turn tan." Only after she said that did Shijun realize that his face was also red.
Manzhen bent down to check her socks, then suddenly exclaimed, "They're torn! All from the crowded tram ride, what a waste!" She took another pair of socks from the drawer, ran to the next room to change, and closed the door behind her, leaving Shijun alone in the room. He was quite uneasy, wondering if she was a little unhappy. He pulled a book from the bookshelf to read, and just as he did, Manzhen opened the door and smiled at him, saying, "Come and eat."
A round table was packed with people, and Manzhen sat diagonally opposite Shijun. Shijun felt that he was always eating at the same table with her today, but there were always other people around, and they were getting further and further away from her. He was actually a little resentful.
Mrs. Gu added a dish of scrambled eggs with preserved eggs, and sent her child to buy some smoked fish and braised meat, crowding all these dishes onto Shijun's side. Mrs. Gu, standing nearby, kept instructing her daughter-in-law, "Pick some braised meat for him." Mrs. Gu smiled and said, "I'm afraid these modern people don't like others picking food for them."
The children ate in silence, finishing quickly and slurping their food before leaving the table. They still harbored some hostility towards Shijun. Seeing their sullen expressions, Manzhen recalled a time when her sister's fiancé, Zhang Mujin, had visited their home. Manzhen herself was twelve or thirteen then, and she had also disliked Mujin intensely. Children that age seem to still have the mentality of savages from a tribal era, with a strong sense of family and always viewing others as outsiders who had come to steal their sister and destroy their family.
After dinner, Mrs. Gu took a rag to wipe the table and asked Manzhen, "Why don't you sit over there?" Manzhen said to Shijun, "Let's go over there and let them study here. The lights are brighter over here."
Manzhen poured Shijun a cup of tea first. As soon as she sat down, she picked up the pair of stockings she had just changed out of and began mending the tears. Shijun said, "Aren't you tired? You've only been back a short while, and you've been so busy." Manzhen replied, "If I left them there, my mother would have done them. She's tired enough too, cooking, washing clothes, she does everything." Shijun asked, "You used to have a maid here, don't you need her anymore?"
Manzhen said, "You mean Abao? We already fired her. When you saw her, she was helping out here because she couldn't find any other work for a while."
She was mending socks with her head down, her hair all draped in front, revealing a soft patch of her neck. Shijun paced back and forth in the room, passing by her, wanting to bend down and kiss her neck. But of course, he didn't. He only stroked her hair. Manzhen seemed oblivious, still mending socks with her head down, but the needle in her hand somehow got stuck somewhere, and she accidentally pricked her finger. She didn't say anything, just looked at the small bead of blood on her finger and wiped it on a handkerchief.
Shijun kept glancing at the clock and said, "You'll be going out again soon. Shouldn't I be going too?" He felt very disappointed. She was so busy that he barely had a chance to talk to her until Saturday, and today was only Monday. How was he going to get through this long week? Manzhen said, "Sit a little longer, and we can go together when I leave." Shijun suddenly realized something and said, "I'll take you. What kind of car will you take?" Manzhen said, "It's not far; I often walk there." She was putting a thread end in her mouth and biting it off, a strand of silk between her teeth, but she smiled slightly at Shijun.
Suddenly, Shi Jun felt an overwhelming sense of hope again.
Manzhen stood up to look in the mirror, put on a coat, and Shijun carried her book before they went out together.
Walking into the alley, Manzhen recalled how her older sister and Mu Jin used to sometimes go for walks after dinner. Manzhen and the other children in the alley would often follow them, making a ruckus and teasing them. Although her sister and Mu Jin ignored them, they were too embarrassed to show their displeasure, always wearing a slight smile. Now, thinking back, she felt truly unforgivable, especially since her sister and Mu Jin's relationship ultimately failed; their sweet time together was short-lived, truly fleeting.
Shijun said, "I was really happy this morning." Manzhen smiled and said, "Really? You seemed quite unhappy the whole time." Shijun smiled and said, "That was later. Later I thought I misunderstood you." Manzhen didn't say anything. In the semi-darkness, only her chuckle could be heard. Only then did Shijun feel relieved.
He took her hand. Manzhen said, "Your hands are so cold. —Don't you feel cold?" Shijun said, "It's alright. Not cold." Manzhen said, "It was already a little cold when I came back, and now it's even colder." Their conversation was entirely under the cover of night. In the darkness, he held her hand. Both of them had an indescribable feeling.
Most of the shops on the street were already closed. Across the street, a large, yellow moon hung low, like a streetlamp. Tonight, the moon seemed especially human. It appeared to rise from a vast sea of people.
Shijun said, "I'm so bad at talking. I wish I were like Shuhui." Manzhen said, "Shuhui isn't a bad person, but sometimes I really hate him because he makes you feel inferior." Shijun laughed, "I admit that this inferiority complex is also one of my flaws. I have too many flaws, but I have no good points at all." Manzhen laughed, "Really?" Shijun said, "Really. But now I think, maybe I do have some good points, otherwise why would you be so nice to me? — Unless it's because my heart is good." Manzhen laughed, "Oh, your heart is good?" Shijun said, "Yes. I think I'm like a vegetable. Isn't the best part of a vegetable just the heart?" Manzhen said, "Hmm. —" Then she suddenly laughed.
Shi Jun said, "The day I left, you came to visit us. Later, Shu Hui's mother said, 'It's unbelievable that such an honest man like Shi Jun would steal Shu Hui's girlfriend away.'" Man Zhen laughed, "Oh? I'm too embarrassed to go there again." Shi Jun laughed, "Then I regret telling you." Man Zhen asked, "Did she say that to Shu Hui's face?" Shi Jun said, "No, she was talking to Shu Hui's father behind his back, and I happened to overhear. I found it ridiculous. I always thought that love should be a natural thing, why does it always have to be like a war? All this talk of stealing and robbing. I don't think Shu Hui would steal her from me." Man Zhen laughed, "You wouldn't steal her from him either, would you?"
Shi Jun paused for a moment before laughing, "I think some women might enjoy it when someone fights tooth and nail for them, but you're different from them." Man Zhen laughed, "It's not about fighting. — Luckily, Shu Hui doesn't like me, otherwise you would have left without a word. I would never know what happened." Shi Jun was speechless.
He had let go of her hand when they passed a fruit stall that was lit up for a night market, but now he held it tightly again. She pulled her hand away and smiled, saying, "We're almost there. They might be able to see us from their windows."
They walked back. Shijun said, "If I had known you wanted me to snatch you, I would have definitely snatched you away." Manzhen couldn't help but chuckle and said, "Who would snatch you away from me?" Shijun said, "Don't even think about it." Manzhen laughed and said, "You—I'll never know if you're really stupid or just pretending." Shijun said, "When you find out I'm really stupid, you'll regret it." Manzhen said:
Shijun tried to kiss her, but she turned her face away, and he only managed to kiss her hair. He felt her trembling. He asked, "Are you cold?" She shook her head.
She rolled up his sleeves a little and looked at his watch. Shijun asked, "What time is it?"
Manzhen paused for a moment before answering, "8:30." The time had arrived. Shijun immediately said, "Go quickly, I'll wait for you here." Manzhen replied, "How can I?"
"You can't just stand here for an hour," Shijun said. "I'll find somewhere to sit for a while. We think we just passed a coffee shop." Manzhen said, "There is a coffee shop, but it's too late. You should go back." Shijun said, "Don't worry about it! Go inside!" He was pulled back again. They both laughed.
Then she left, hurrying to press the bell. As soon as she pressed the bell, Shijun had no choice but to run away.
A large leaf drifted down from a plane tree by the roadside, like a bird, "whoosh!" it swept past his head. It landed on the ground with two more "whoosh" sounds, sliding smoothly along the ground. Shijun slowly walked over and heard someone calling, "Rickshaw! Rickshaw!" The call went from one end of the road to the other, but there was no response, indicating that the road was quite desolate at that moment.
Shijun suddenly remembered that one of her elementary school students might be sick and unable to attend class, so she would come out immediately to look for him. So he walked back and stood at the corner for a while.
The moon rose higher and higher, its light shining on the ground. In the distance, a rickshaw passed by, its flickering headlights creaking and rattling, evoking the chilling sound of the wind blowing through a swing rope in the still of the night.
I must kiss her later, no matter what.
Shijun walked in that direction again, looking for the little café. He recalled Manzhen's contradictory nature; she was usually a very worldly person, yet sometimes she seemed so innocent, and sometimes she was excessively shy. He thought, "Perhaps it's just because she—likes me so much?" He couldn't help but feel a stirring in his heart.
This was the first time he had ever confessed his love to a girl. The person he loved also happened to love him, which was also a first. The fact that the person he loved loved him back was probably a perfectly ordinary thing, but for someone in that situation, it seemed like a once-in-a-lifetime coincidence. Shijun often heard people talk about how so-and-so was "in love," but for some reason, those stories never made him think of him and Manzhen. He believed that his and Manzhen's story was different from everyone else's. It was also different from everything that had happened in his own life.
The street turned a corner, and music began to play—a violin playing a dance tune with an Eastern European flair. Following the music, he found the small café, its interior glowing with a warm red light. An elderly foreigner with a blond beard pushed open the glass door and stepped out. The door swayed back and forth, releasing a chorus of voices and a sense of warmth. Shijun stood outside, feeling that in his current state of mind, it was impossible for him to venture into the crowd. He was too happy. Such intense joy and such intense sorrow share a common thread—both require separation from the masses. He could only linger on the cold night's sidewalk, listening to the music.
I waited for her at the bus stop early this morning. Later, I went to her house, but she wasn't home yet, so I waited for her in her room. Now I'm waiting for her here again.
He had once told her that when he was in school, Saturdays were especially joyful because he looked forward to Sundays. He didn't know that the happiest time of his and her's lives would be spent in anticipation, and that their Sundays would never see the dawn.
Eighteen Springs and Six
Shijun's mother told him to write as soon as he arrived in Shanghai, so he wrote a short letter that very night. He didn't have any stamps on hand, so he planned to have Shuhui mail it from his office. The next morning, he specially delivered it to Shuhui's office, hoping to see Manzhen again.
Manzhen hadn't arrived yet. Shijun took the letter out of his pocket and placed it in front of Shuhui, saying, "Here, I forgot to give it to you earlier." Then he leaned against the writing desk and chatted.
Manzhen arrived and said, "Good morning." She wore a light pink cheongsam with a very narrow black and white braided lace trim on the cuffs. Shijun seemed not to have seen this dress before. She wore a half-smile, her eyes barely glancing at him, as if he weren't even in the room. Yet, her joy was undeniable. An overflowing happiness radiated from her, transforming into a myriad of charms. Shuhui was momentarily stunned upon seeing her, exclaiming, "Manzhen, why do you look so beautiful today?" He blushed as he spoke. Shijun, standing beside her, also became nervous. Fortunately, Manzhen only paused briefly before laughing, "Judging from your tone, it's as if I'm usually incredibly ugly." Shuhui chuckled, "Don't misunderstand me."
Manzhen laughed and said, "That's exactly what you meant."
Their affair wasn't something to hide, much less to Shuhui, but Shijun had never told him. He had no desire to discuss Manzhen with anyone, feeling that others would only offer superficial observations. Yet, he was conflicted; he also somewhat hoped they would know. Shuhui, spending all his time with them, remained completely oblivious. If love is blind, it seemed those around them were even more so.
The personnel situation in their factory was already quite complicated. Take Mr. Ye, who celebrated his birthday last time, for example; he's always been involved in factionalism and corruption, and many traces of this have been noticed by everyone.
Relying on his position as the factory director's personal confidant, he grew increasingly audacious, and those who refused to collude with him were severely purged. Shijun, working downstairs, wasn't as affected, unlike Shuhui, who worked in an upstairs office and held a higher position with greater responsibilities. Therefore, Shuhui had always wanted to leave. Just then, an opportunity arose; a friend introduced him to another factory, and he immediately resigned. When he left, Shijun hosted a farewell dinner for him, and Manzhen was also present. The period when the three of them ate together every day was coming to an end.
There was a special atmosphere when the three of them were together. Shijun enjoyed sitting to the side listening to Shuhui and Manzhen's back-and-forth conversation. They were only talking about superficial things, but Shijun felt deeply happy listening to them. That kind of joy could only be compared to the feelings of childhood. In reality, Shijun's childhood wasn't very happy, so when people reminisced about their childhood, he could only recall the times he spent with Shuhui and Manzhen.
Shi Jun held a farewell banquet for Shu Hui at the famous Lao Zhengxing Restaurant. Later, he heard other colleagues say, "You guys don't know how to order food. You didn't get to eat the two best dishes."