Lanting

Capítulo 41

Our hair was tangled together, just like any ordinary married couple.

The cold air seeped in. I opened my eyes to find the pillow beside me already cold, the sheets disheveled, my mind a jumble. My memory... I had finally fallen asleep peacefully, my head resting on his arm. My robe and skirt had been neatly folded and placed on the bedside table sometime during the night...

Liu Shang pushed open the door with a satisfied smile, carrying a basin of water and a towel.

"Where is the prince?" I asked softly, putting on my undergarments.

“He left an hour ago, going to Yangzhou with the guests in the side room. At that time, the master was still asleep, and he didn’t want us to wake you up.”

The bright golden silk sheet shimmered with crimson blood, stinging my eyes. Liu Shang chuckled as he cut off the handkerchief, carefully folded it, placed it in a meticulously prepared brocade box, and waved it at me, saying, "You must keep this safe."

"I threw it away," I sighed and said softly.

"What?"

Sitting upright in front of the mirror, I glanced up and saw my reflection. My expression was calm, my smile dignified, yet it couldn't hide the bitter weariness within. "I said... I threw it away."

Chapter Thirty-Four: Rumors Spread About the Concubine's Difficult Childbirth

Yi Ling's mood grew more and more agitated each day. She often threw things and made a fuss. The whole household dared not breathe loudly because of her. I knew she was just impatient and irritable, so I never bothered her and let her do whatever she wanted.

When he was really overwhelmed, he could only run to the palace from time to time, or go to his sisters-in-law's place for a meal. Occasionally, when he was in a good mood, he would sit down and play cards, and when he was in a bad mood, he would vent his grievances and complain to his sisters-in-law.

Then in July, the weather got hot, and I felt exhausted and reluctant to go out. Thinking that Lu Li had been gone for more than three months, and his letters home only said that he would delay his return, I wondered if he could make it back in time for Yi Ling's delivery in August. I was very anxious, and the thought of Yi Ling made me even more flustered, fearing that something might go wrong.

He often went to his fourth sister-in-law's house to ask her for advice on which doctor to hire, which midwife was experienced, what to pay attention to during childbirth, and what was auspicious and inauspicious.

"You're not the mother yourself, why are you being so meticulous?" Fourth Sister-in-law rolled her eyes at me.

"Who told our master to drag his feet and not come back until now? I've never encountered anything like this before. Look at the mess our mansion is in. It's chaotic every day. I feel uneasy at the slightest noise, always feeling that something bad is going to happen."

The reality was even more chaotic than I had imagined; Yiling went into premature labor on the second day of the seventh lunar month. All the preparations I had planned turned into utter chaos. My fourth sister-in-law rushed over to help after hearing the news.

Yiling was very stubborn. She endured it for a whole day and night. I sat in the outer room, watching the midwife wipe her sweat constantly and the maid carrying hot water back and forth. I was very sensitive to any movement in the inner room, and my heart was about to jump out of my chest.

“Your Highness, I’m afraid Master Yi is not going to make it.” Jing Mama, covered in blood, knelt in front of me. “The baby is in the wrong position, it’s a boy. Master Yi has already fainted and is bleeding non-stop. If this continues, he won’t last much longer.”

My heart skipped a beat, and I felt dizzy and disoriented.

"What did the imperial physician say?" Fourth Sister-in-law, who was calmer than me, asked hurriedly.

"The imperial physician also shook his head. I have heard of a folk remedy... that can save the master. However, it cannot guarantee the child's safety. If we are fortunate, both mother and child will be safe. If not, the fetus may be slightly disabled or even die young."

As we were talking, the imperial physician came out from the inner room and knelt before me. "Your Majesty, the concubine is frail, and the prolonged labor has left her weak and anemic. I fear she cannot hold on. At this point, we can only do our utmost to save the child. Your Majesty, we can only leave the rest to fate. What decision should we make? Please give your instructions, Your Majesty!"

Upon hearing this, I exclaimed urgently, "What kind of talk is this? What do you mean by 'protecting only the small territory, not the larger one'? Your Excellency must not make a mistake!"

The imperial physician looked troubled: "This concerns the royal bloodline. Should we send someone to ask the Prince for advice, or perhaps consult Consort Ding?"

"Yes, yes. We should ask the palace what they think." Fourth Sister-in-law nodded hurriedly. She sent her maid to the palace to get some advice.

When the maid returned, she only brought back one sentence.

"Consort Ding said that only the Prince can make such a decision. Since the Prince is not here, he cannot make a decision, so we should follow the usual practice in the palace."

"A custom?" I quickly turned to look at my fourth sister-in-law. "What's this custom?"

"As long as they are not the legitimate wife, the priority is to protect the younger sibling rather than the older one."

My fourth sister-in-law's words were like a bucket of cold water poured over me, chilling me to the bone. If the usual practice were followed, wouldn't she have to watch a living person in my household die? I absolutely could not accept such a thing. Suddenly remembering what Granny Jing had said, I asked her to repeat those words in front of the imperial physician.

The imperial physician turned pale with fright and hurriedly said, "May I ask the two ladies to speak to me in private?"

My fourth sister-in-law and I hurriedly followed the imperial physician behind the screen. The physician looked troubled and said, "The medicine that the old nanny mentioned is called He Mu Cao. It is used in folk medicine. If this medicine is used, adults will definitely survive the critical period, but children will mostly die or be seriously injured. Moreover, this is a forbidden medicine in the palace. If this happens in the palace, according to custom, the child's life will be taken first, and this medicine will definitely not be used. I urge Your Majesty to think it over."

Fourth Sister-in-law pulled my hand, her anxiety barely concealed. "Zhaozhi, you must listen to me this time. You can't make this decision. I've seen this kind of thing many times in the palace, and you know how many princes are born without their mothers. This is the unwritten rule in the palace. Just let the imperial physician follow the usual procedure. You must not act on your own and implicate yourself."

“If we use medication, there is still some hope for the child. If we don’t, the adult has no chance of survival.” I gritted my teeth, feeling a churning pain in my stomach.

"Rong Zhaozhi—have you gone mad? Who do you think you are, to decide the life and death of a royal grandson? No matter what, we women in this mansion are not even worth half a finger of a man. What right do you have to decide the life or death of a royal grandson?! It's not worth exchanging the safety of a royal grandson for that of a lowly woman." Fourth Sister-in-law was furious, grabbing my hand tightly. "Your worry about Yiling is understandable; it's just that she's unlucky."

“I can’t do this—” I shook off her hand, “There were ways to save everything, there was a clear possibility, how can you expect me to accept my fate, how can I follow this unwritten rule.”

Even if you're thinking of yourself, and for the Rong family, you can't break this rule, this prohibition.

I heard a maid crying from inside the room, and my heart tightened. "Imperial Physician, give me the medicine!"

I added, "If anything happens to the child, I will take responsibility. If anything happens to the adults, I will not let it go unpunished. This is my decision, and I will tell the Emperor the same thing if anything happens!" Only then did the imperial physician agree and leave.

I returned to my seat, and for some reason, I suddenly calmed down and was no longer panicked at all.

On the morning of the fourth day, the sound of a baby crying was finally heard. After so many hours of silence, the entire palace was in an uproar.

A boy was brought out by the wet nurse. I carefully took him and saw the child's peaceful sleeping face. Tears streamed down my face, and my heart finally settled down.

"Go and light the firecrackers prepared outside, and quickly send someone to the palace to report the good news." I breathed a sigh of relief and gave the orders.

As is customary, I was to deliver the prepared tonic to her on the first day. As soon as I entered the courtyard, I saw the wet nurse standing there, holding a child and gently soothing him. I went over and asked, "Is the child alright?"

"She is obedient, but her quietness is a little off; she's been sleeping so sweetly the whole time."

I was taken aback, then smiled reassuringly, "Perhaps this child is just quiet. Take good care of him, and if there are any problems, just send someone to find me."

After saying that, I went into the house. I sat on the paulownia wood chair by the bed and said to Yiling, "I have arranged everything. Sister, you just need to focus on recuperating."

Yiling looked up at me and said, "I appreciate Your Highness's kindness, but please take the soup back. I can't afford it."

"Why...why do you say that?" I was taken aback.

"Your Majesty was under immense pressure to protect me back then. When did Your Majesty become so affectionate towards me? Or are you harboring some ulterior motive? Now that the child has been successfully born, you're probably going to be disappointed."

I was taken aback. I thought to myself that now that Yiling had given birth to two sons, she must be more confident. Surely some maids were flattering her and spreading unpleasant rumors. She was certain that with the birth of two sons, her status in the household had risen greatly, and even if she openly opposed me, she wouldn't suffer any grievances.

I knew that whatever I said would be interpreted differently by her, so I told Liu Shang to put down the stew and went outside.

I felt a heavy weight in my chest. I had a good intention, but I was being questioned for having ulterior motives. Could it be that such a large palace could not tolerate a kind heart that genuinely sought peace and stability?

A sudden exclamation rang out behind me; it was Yi Ling.

I hurried back, and just as I reached out to ask what had happened, Yi Ling shoved me violently. I stumbled a couple of steps, and then I heard Yi Ling roar, "What did you do to my son—"

Sitting in the outer room, holding this extremely quiet child in her arms.

The imperial physician knelt before me. "Your Majesty, it seems the medicinal properties of the He Mu Cao (He Mu Cao) have damaged the young prince's eyes. I have already said that this medicine... cannot be used."

He implied that my stubbornness had finally caused trouble. I didn't understand, under what circumstances could I really be so heartless as to watch Yiling die? Could I bear to let this child be deprived of his birth mother's care forever?

“Report this matter to the palace truthfully. I’ve already said that if anything happens to the child, I will take responsibility. I will not let the imperial physicians be implicated.”

As I spoke, I stood up and handed the child to the wet nurse, but the wet nurse dared not take it, only saying, "Your Highness, the mistress refuses to see the young master again no matter what."

I sighed and had someone bring the child to my room.

Exhausted, I walked out of the courtyard. A gust of wind blew by, and I felt a chill. My stomach churned, and then everything went dark.

Chapter Thirty-Five: Arguing with Reason

I opened my eyes, still feeling a little dizzy. The imperial physician stood beside me, beaming with joy. "Your Majesty, this pulse indicates good fortune, not illness."

My heart skipped a beat, and I felt a sudden, inexplicable fear of this life. "It's been more than three months, hasn't it?"

"yes."

"Imperial Physician, so many things have come up at once in my household. I would be grateful if you could prescribe some medicine to help with the pregnancy. Don't tell the Prince yet; I will do it myself. The most important thing right now is the child's eye condition."

"Yes, Your Majesty has been working hard and anxious for many days. This pregnancy is not stable, so please be careful."

I thanked the imperial physician, got up and saw him out. Liu Shang came over carrying the swaddled baby. "Why did you get up? Did the imperial physician say anything? Are you too tired? Are you weak? Do you need something to eat to help you recover?"

I handed her the prescription and said, "You can brew this medicine for me yourself."

Liu Shang put down the swaddling clothes, turned around and left the inner room.

I leaned against the bedside, gently sliding one hand over the child's half-closed eyelids, and sighed softly, "Thinking that you came into this world safely, yet you still have so many hardships. These eyes... I owe you something. Your mother will never forgive me, and you... will only resent me in the future."

Three days later, Lu Li finally returned. It is said that as soon as Lu Li returned that day, he hurriedly asked what happened. He went straight to the side courtyard without even taking a breath. That day, Yi Ling cried so bitterly that I could hear it clearly in the main courtyard.

The child was very quiet. He rarely cried or laughed. He was always asleep. Yiling burned all the clothes she had prepared for the child. Lanruo and I had to hurry up and buy him new clothes for autumn and winter.

That morning, I was soothing the child. Lu Li entered my room for the first time since returning to the manor.

I said, "This child doesn't have a name yet. Shouldn't we give him one?"

He sat to the side reading a book. He said nonchalantly, "Any name will do."

Another silence fell. I said, "The imperial physician came to see me a few days ago. I..." Before I could finish, I looked up and saw him staring at me, his gaze cold and stern. I froze, unable to move. I swallowed the rest of my sentence, "I'm pregnant."

"You, as the legitimate wife, are truly remarkable."

I chuckled to myself, "What are you saying, sir? I don't understand."

"You've got the ability to break rules that so many people don't dare to break, and to shoulder responsibilities that so many people don't dare to take."

"Does Your Excellency blame me for insisting on using He Mu Cao and harming the child, or do you think I'm scheming and deliberately targeting the young children in the manor?!" I asked coldly.

The little figure on the bed suddenly started crying, crying heartbreakingly.

I turned around, coaxing the child, not looking at Lu Li, and said, "Is Grandpa finished? If you're done, please leave through the back door."

He paused for a moment in front of me, then finally sighed and left. Perhaps to comfort Yiling, or perhaps having seen through my "true colors," Lu Li didn't even say goodbye before requesting Consort Ding to return Lu Zhen. Although I was heartbroken, I couldn't say anything. I could only secretly wipe away my tears while packing Lu Zhen's things.

Lu Zhen looked at me sadly, without saying a word.

I glanced back at him, continuing to fold his newly bought clothes. "Son, even if no one is supervising you in the other courtyard, you must still keep up your studies. I'll ask your teacher about you often. If you have time, come to the main courtyard and chat with your mother. Don't keep things bottled up inside. I've been worried about you since you've been with me for so long, wondering if you'll be able to adjust back home. Be good to your mother and comfort her. I won't see you off to the other courtyard—"

As we were talking, Lu Zhen hugged me from behind, "Mother—"

I held back my tears, pulled him close, and hugged him.

By August, my lower abdomen had changed slightly, not noticeably, but Liu Shang often teased me, saying that I was still young but had already started to gain weight. I just smiled and said nothing more.