Lanting

Capítulo 75

Only my voice echoed in the main hall, an empty silence reigning, as if the people sitting in the side hall and all the princes outside were as invisible as air, or perhaps everyone treated me as invisible. A long while passed without a reply. The princes remained kneeling, heads pressed to the ground, motionless. One could imagine the extent of the emperor's anger. Feeling somewhat embarrassed and uneasy, Wei Liang clenched her fists, closed her eyes briefly, then snapped them open again. With a deep breath, she repeated, "Yan Zheng respectfully wishes Your Majesty ten thousand years of good fortune and peace!"

There was a loud crash from inside, as if something had been smashed. After a while, the Emperor's furious roar came through: "Go and tell her to kneel in!" Eunuch Chang lifted the curtain of the side hall and gave me a meaningful look.

I crawled in on my knees. The Emperor stood motionless by the screen, a few teacups broken at his feet. A row of maids knelt at a distance, none daring to pick up the broken pieces. From a distance, I pressed my head to the ground as a gesture of respect: "This servant greets Your Majesty."

The Emperor suddenly opened his eyes, which were closed: "Auspiciousness? What auspiciousness? Not to mention these disobedient and unfilial sons, even a maidservant is trying to outwit me. What auspiciousness I have?"

I remained kneeling as I moved forward to his feet, picking up the crumbs with my hand, and bowed my head, saying, "How dare this servant challenge His Majesty?!"

"You truly don't take me seriously." The Emperor narrowed his eyes as he looked at me. "Do you know why I summoned you to serve me in bed?"

My heart tightened. "Your Majesty, in your boundless grace, considering my affair with the Eighth Prince—"

"That's just nonsense." The emperor glared at me. "I want to make these sons give up on that idea. My sons can fight each other for my throne, but they must never be blinded by lust for a woman."

"Your Majesty—this servant has never thought of currying favor with the princes. I have always been dutiful and law-abiding towards the princes. Even towards the Eighth Prince, I only have a close friendship with him, nothing more. I beg Your Majesty to see the truth."

The Emperor gave a cold laugh, "Is that so? Fifth Prince's wife, come out and repeat what you said before you left the capital."

A figure gradually emerged from behind the screen. I recognized her as Fifth Sister-in-law, but I couldn't understand what she had done. Fifth Sister-in-law calmly replied, "Your Majesty, this girl has connections with Fifth Prince, Fourth Prince, Eighth Prince, and even Seventh Prince. Who knows what she really intends?"

My gaze toward Fifth Sister-in-law held a faint smile; she was yet another woman who would stop at nothing for love.

I looked at the Emperor again and kowtowed deeply. "Your Majesty, this servant is not showing favoritism towards the princes, but has other difficulties."

"Oh?" The Emperor glanced at me coldly. "What kind of predicament could make you change your mind about the Eighth Prince?"

He clenched the crumbs in his hand tighter and tighter, and blood gradually seeped out from between his fingers.

"Your Majesty, you have a clear conscience; you know better than anyone that Eighth Prince is a flawless gentleman. This servant has only ever been fit to admire and serve him, not to reap his favor. In truth… I was no longer pure upon entering the palace. This servant knows I am unworthy to serve Eighth Prince, but Your Majesty was not present at the time, and I could not report back. So I had Consort Ding verify my identity. Consort Ding, out of desperation and kindness, asked Seventh Prince to intervene. Your Majesty, Consort Ding is innocent, Seventh Prince is innocent, only this servant is guilty." At this point, she forced out a few tears. A deathly silence fell; even Fifth Sister-in-law looked at me with surprise. Now that things had come to this, this was the only reason I could continue living.

The Emperor pointed at me with one finger, which trembled uncontrollably. He strode over, kicked open the screen, and saw Lu Li kneeling motionless behind it. His gaze fell on me, unchangingly indifferent.

"What a filthy woman, dragging my sons into this mess. Fine... Go back to the Seventh Prince's residence. You were right about one thing: the Eighth Prince's integrity is something you can't tarnish." Hearing this, I could barely breathe. The Emperor's mocking voice seemed to drift back from afar, "The Eighth Prince even asked me to treat you well. You think you're worthy?"

Silence fell over the room again; the emperor had strode away. I knelt there, no longer feeling the coldness beneath my knees, only a sense that everything was gradually drifting away, except for one voice echoing repeatedly in my mind: Lu Xiu, he still acknowledges you as his son, he understands you, he cares for you…

The curtain in the side hall had been angrily ripped down by the Emperor when he left. Staring blankly ahead, I saw the princes still kneeling motionless in the outer hall. After what seemed like an eternity, Fifth Prince slowly rose, walked to my side, bent slightly, and softly uttered three words: "Stop gripping it." I didn't want to look up, much less see his expression. Was it shock and pain? For whom was he shocked, for whom was he in pain? I was truly exhausted, truly entangled. My hand, clutching the crispy chip, slowly loosened, my wounded hand rubbing freely against my skirt. A smile played on my lips. "Don't be afraid, I'm used to pain." Perhaps the pain in my heart had already festered.

He didn't dare meet my gaze, only glancing at Fifth Sister-in-law, a hint of annoyance creeping in. "You think you're so great? Don't you want more trouble? You're making a fool of yourself in front of everyone." Fifth Sister-in-law pouted, stood up, patted her skirt, and smiled coldly. "I wonder who's making a fool of themselves."

Fifth Master frowned. "Aren't you leaving yet?!" With that, he turned and took a few steps away. Fifth Sister-in-law followed behind him. As she passed by me, she bent down and touched my chin. "Such a clean face. If only your body were this clean too."

"Ya Ru—" Fifth Master called out coldly from the outer hall. Only then did Fifth Sister-in-law release me and leave with a light laugh.

Fourth Master and First Master got up almost simultaneously and left one after the other, completely ignoring me. Suddenly, I remembered—had the Emperor just granted my permission to be with Lu Li? For a moment, I was dazed, staggering to my feet. Having knelt for so long, I almost fell. A pair of hands reached out to support me. I stared blankly at the person in front of me, feeling as if everything before me was unreal. Ninth Master sighed and released my grip. "Xiao Zheng, you should go back too. Seventh Brother has been kneeling all day. Help him back." Go back? Back to where? The Prince's mansion? What for? I stood there stiffly, utterly at a loss.

The Ninth Prince had already left, and the candles in the room had gone out, gradually dimming the light. A maid silently swept up the broken teacups on the floor, looking at me hesitantly. I took a deep breath and turned to walk towards the fallen screen. Lu Li was still kneeling there. I squatted down in front of him, forcing a smile, "Shall I help you up?" I helped Lu Li up; his legs were giving way, and half his body leaned towards me. He struggled to hold onto the wall with one hand, giving me a slight smile, "I'm sorry to have troubled you."

Just as I was about to shake my head, I heard Eunuch Chang behind me let out a long sigh, “You two have really angered our Emperor. The Emperor truly doesn’t understand. Clearly, Seventh Prince asked the girl for Eighth Prince, but how did it all turn out the other way around? What the Emperor fears most is not being able to figure out the young ladies.”

I was slightly dazed, and only felt Lu Li gently grasp my hand before I came back to my senses and looked at him, saying, "Let's go."

That journey seemed to last a very long time. I couldn't help but have the illusion that if I hadn't collapsed in the Chaoyang Hall back then, would I have walked with him through the long, winding road, through wind and rain, until our hair turned white and we grew old together?

Chapter Thirty-Six: Seeking Chaos

For several days, Lu Li didn't mention the death sentence he was given back then, nor did he ask me what those days were like, as if those were topics we were deliberately avoiding. I know... some things are understood without words, and some hurdles are insurmountable for us.

She leaned quietly against him, watching him engrossed in his book, and smiled slightly. "My lord, you haven't gone to court for five days. Are you still afraid of the Emperor?"

He put down his book, ruffled my hair, and said with a smile, "Yes, I'm afraid my father will make me kneel again."

I struggled to sit up. "Aren't you bored?"

He didn't understand my question, and squinted his eyes slightly, "Are you bored? You're so boring when I'm around."

"Actually, you're a really boring person," I said jokingly, slamming his book down on the table.

He picked up the book, and gently took my hand in his. "Really?!"

Don't you want to see what I used to be like?

He peeked out from under the book, shaking his head and laughing, while placing a hand on my cheek. "This... is fine too."

I blinked, a hint of melancholy in my eyes, "When will I be able to openly be myself again?"

I looked up and saw Lu Li staring at me blankly. After a long while, he gave me an apologetic smile, "I'm sorry, I can't right now..."

I understand perfectly well. Revealing my identity now is simply a way to get myself killed.

"I know." I nodded. I placed one hand on his brow, smoothing his slightly furrowed brow.

He leaned down, bringing his face close to mine. "Do you miss your daughter?"

"...I've been secretly thinking about it all along."

"Have I taken good care of her and made her beautiful all these years?"

I laughed. I lightly punched him. "Of course, it's because I'm beautiful."

“Yes.” Lu Li gripped my fist. “She looks just like you…”

I was lost in thought. "Actually, I miss Jingrui and Zhen'er a lot too..."

Lu Li sighed, tightened his grip on my hand, and said, "Come with me."

He pulled me to the back gate and we secretly left the mansion. We walked in silence the whole way, and I could barely keep up with his fast pace. When we reached a small courtyard, a maid opened the door, carefully checked that no one was around, and then led us into the courtyard. Inside, a nanny came out with a child. I don't know why, but looking at this child, I felt an inexplicable closeness to him and reached out to hug him.

Lu Li waved for the nanny to leave and pulled me into the room. I was busy sitting on the edge of the bed playing with the child. I couldn't explain why this unfamiliar child gave me a familiar warmth; even a casual smile from him could stir my emotions. Lu Li leaned against the headboard, watching us with a smile. After a while, I finally remembered to ask, "Who is this?"

Instead of answering me directly, he asked indirectly, "Do you like it?"

I nodded, quickly stopped laughing, and turned to look at him with a serious expression. "You've really got guts, raising an illegitimate child? Are you that afraid of Yao Shuhuan? And you're secretly raising him in another courtyard."

"Our son." Ignoring my sarcasm, Lu Li gently stroked the child's forehead and answered calmly.

"Stop trying to bluff." I slapped his hand that was touching the child. "I don't remember ever giving birth to a son for you."

Lu Li leaned over and held the child's little hand. "This is our son, Rong Yin. Lu Rong Yin!"

"Rong?!" I quickly pulled the child over and looked him up and down, then looked up and met Lu Li's gaze.

Lu Li nodded. "How could I have forgotten what you told me back then?!"

Where is my sister-in-law?

"When I found this child two years ago, your sister-in-law had already passed away."

Life and death are nothing earth-shattering anymore. I simply nodded silently and asked, "How old is this child?"

“He’s two months older than Jingrui, almost four years old.” He looked at the child and smiled, “He’s really well-behaved.” Then, he pointed at me and said to the child, “Yin’er, this is your mother.”

The child snuggled closer, resting his head against my chest, his eyes filled with tears of grievance. "Is Mother finally back? Father said Mother went to a very, very far place. Is Mother back?"

I looked at Lu Li, then at the child, and nodded. "Yes, I'm back."

Those calls stirred a emotion within me. When would such a voice come from Zhi'er's mouth?

Lu Li gently put his arm around me, turned my shoulder with a meaningful look, and said with a serious expression, "Let's... have another child."

I was a little confused. "What?"

He looked at Yin'er, smiled at me, and said, "Let's have another child, a girl or a boy, it doesn't matter. Then we'll hear our child calling you, and I'll make him call you every day."

A child?! I never intended to bear him any more children. I used my political skills to pressure his father, navigating the cutthroat world of officialdom, and yet he still wants me to have his child?!

I looked at him and smiled calmly, "Don't I still have Yin'er?"

"Yes, Yin'er is also our flesh and blood."

At my insistence, Lu Li brought Yin'er into the Prince's residence, publicly stating that she was my child born before I entered the palace. Lu Li also entered the palace to attend court at my urging, but after court sessions, he mostly came to my courtyard. Not only that, he even brought Si Liang to my side.

I held Yin'er on my lap and taught him to write characters step by step. Yin'er held the sample characters I had written and fiddled with them from left to right.

“It’s a bit early to teach him now,” Lu Li’s voice came from outside the window. As soon as Yin’er heard Lu Li was coming, he slid off me and stumbled towards the door. Just as Lu Li opened the door, the little figure rushed up and grabbed his father’s robe, and Lu Li scooped him into his arms. In my memory, apart from Zhi’er, Lu Li had never shown such affection for any other child as he did now.

"Why are you back so early today?" I said, taking the child from his arms.

"I'm going out of Beijing tomorrow; it'll take two or three days to get there and back." He looked at me with a smile.

"Oh," I replied, turning around to pour him some tea. He stared at me for a long time, then sighed softly, "You know, I'm worried about you."

I laughed, "Now I'm basically the emperor's unwanted daughter-in-law, so he won't do anything to me. Didn't he say he doesn't want to see me again?"

He reached out and pulled me to his side, saying, "Don't go anywhere, stay home and wait for me."

"Okay." I nodded with a smile.

During Lu Li's absence, I met Qiu Ming twice and secretly met with several high-ranking officials in the court. I also wrote a letter to Lu Hong of Da Meng. Life was indeed quite uneventful.

"Madam, this is a hopeless situation," the Minister stroked his beard and smiled slightly.

"What do you mean, sir?"

The Minister nodded. "Although the Rong family's power has improved somewhat, it is mostly scattered. It's like this game of chess; there are many points of life, but they can't be connected to form a favorable situation."

"Please continue, sir." That's exactly what I was waiting for him to say next.

"The Pang family lost the emperor's trust because they did not rely entirely on the emperor for their support."

I smiled and removed a white piece from the chessboard. "It's the Third Prince."

The Minister nodded, "As expected of a descendant of the Rong family, Madam has indeed inherited some of her late master's foresight."

"My lord, I am deeply grateful that you still care about my father despite the fact that he has been implicated. However, given the current situation, I dare not reveal my identity. I hope you will help me conceal it."

"It was my oversight and mistake, please don't take offense, madam."

I shook my head. "The Minister once said that the Rong family's revival only requires the word 'chaos'. Whether it's the Third Master, who is captured by the enemy, or the Fifth Master, who is a favorite of the court, they are also waiting for this chaos."

After seeing the Minister off, I sat by the window, wavering between left and right. A sparring match with the Third Master—though unexpected, not impossible. This step was only a matter of time; I would eventually have to take it.

"Mother, the game of chess is in disarray."

I turned around abruptly and saw Yin'er appear out of nowhere. He climbed onto a chair and stood there, looking intently at the chess game we had just played. Under my guidance, Yin'er had become increasingly obsessed with games. Despite his young age, he could carry the chess set around everywhere. Now, a child's words revealed the myriad aspects of his life.

For several days, the manor was gloomy. Lu Li did not return to the palace, and Yi Ling and Lan Ruo also stayed indoors, only exchanging a few polite words with me when they occasionally saw me, without any real intimacy. Lan Ruo insisted on taking care of Zhi'er, while Yi Ling remained indifferent to Jing Rui. I had considered taking Jing Rui in to raise with me, but considering my current status, I naturally had no right to raise him, especially since I had personally sought his position as the eldest son.

Lu Li only said he would be gone for two or three days, but there was no news for five whole days. It was inconvenient to leave the courtyard, and there were Lu Li's previous instructions, so I had no choice but to think about calling Xiao Si to the study to ask him questions. He could only say a few words to me before he started sobbing, and his crying made me panic.

"This servant tried to inquire and learned that Master returned to the capital some time ago. He first went to report to the Emperor, and then he was placed under house arrest. Nobody knows what happened. We gave some silver to Xiao Quanzi in Chaoyang Palace, but he couldn't explain it either. The Princess Consort has made several trips to the palace, and even the Grand Commander has intervened, but it is said that she still hasn't seen the Prince."

I listened with my eyes closed to Xiao Si's description, sentence by sentence, and knew in my heart that Lu Li was probably in trouble. What Lu Li had done, how angry the Emperor was, and how he punished him all seemed mysteriously strange. However, the law doesn't punish everyone, and after all, he was a favored son, so he wouldn't be punished too severely for the time being. Was Lu Li facing trouble at home? And it happened while he was away on official business. Could it be that someone stabbed him in the back? The Third Prince is currently unable to protect himself, and the Pang family is too weak to cause trouble at this time; it wouldn't benefit them. Then, it must be someone else… Thinking of that warm smile, I suddenly felt lost and confused. The throne truly attracts too many eyes…

For two whole days, there was still no movement from the palace, and no one came to restrict the movement of people in and out of the mansion. So I asked someone to find Xiaoyu in the palace and instructed her to try to find out what was going on. In the evening, Xiao Si received Xiaoyu's message and rushed back in a panic, looking like the sky had fallen: "Madam, Madam, something bad has happened to the master."

"What's all the rush?!" I glanced behind him and quickly closed the door. "Take it easy, speak one sentence at a time, don't miss anything."