Lanting

Capítulo 85

Everyone inside the room knelt down, but no one dared to speak. I couldn't help but laugh to myself. Did they all think I would punish her?

"What are you kneeling for?" I glanced at Liu Shang. "Go and clean up. Be careful of Madam's hands. Breaking cups and bowls is a small matter! It's not worth hurting your hands by being petty."

As soon as he finished speaking, he took a step, and the curtain beside him fell behind him.

The study door hadn't been opened since Lu Li went in, and the doors and windows were closed. I told Xiao Si, who was guarding outside, to go back first, and I stood in front of the room for a long time, thinking about what to say to him. A maid came carrying a meal.

"Why did it take so long to serve?" I asked in a low voice, with a hint of reproach.

The maids shook their heads helplessly. "The prince refused the first two times."

I brought out the dinner and gestured for her to leave first.

Pushing open the door, I saw the person at the table with a furrowed brow, his brushstrokes flowing like wild clouds and water, unrestrained and free.

"Put it on the table—get out of here," he ordered without looking up, not noticing it was me.

I set out the bowls and chopsticks, then slowly walked towards him, glancing at the strong tea on his table.

"Drinking tea late at night is bad for your health," I said softly.

He paused, then continued writing. I looked at the words he was writing, and they were all names. My heart ached, and I understood more or less what those names meant, but I pretended not to notice and was thinking of changing the subject.

"They were all heroes who defended their country and should have shed their blood on the frontier, not died beneath the emperor's city walls," he wrote casually as he wrote.

"Yes," I answered frankly. "Are you trying to tell me I was wrong?"

He raised his pen and slowly looked at me. I looked back at him. I wanted to talk to him openly, but this was the problem. He was unwilling to continue the conversation. Perhaps he was afraid of endless arguments, but I was worried about endless suspicion.

As I expected, he didn't say anything more, but instead turned his attention to writing.

"Remember that bet I mentioned back then? I couldn't understand why you didn't pursue it, so naturally I didn't think about the stakes." I said with a soft laugh.

"Now I've made up my mind. Do you still want to hear it?"

He didn't look up at me; his hand holding the pen remained suspended in the air, as if gesturing for me to continue.

"The bet is that I lost."

His gaze met mine, as if he had no idea what I was talking about.

I was still laughing, laughing until he got goosebumps. I laughed as I pulled out a porcelain bottle from my sleeve, laughed as I poured all the liquid from the bottle onto my feet, laughed as I watched the turmoil in his eyes, laughed as I let go, and the bottle shattered at my feet. I laughed as I said those words, "If you don't go after him, I'll keep this child. So, you still win."

Suddenly, the world seemed to fall silent. He remained silent for a long while, then absentmindedly lowered his head. In that instant, I almost saw something fall from his eyes. I couldn't believe it; he was actually shedding tears over a decision. The man I knew had never seemed so vulnerable. He was always silent, as if everything around him was none of his concern. I only knew he was neither happy nor angry, that his heart was free of personal feelings, only concerned with the fate of the nation. Yet this seemingly detached man was completely beyond my comprehension. He had actually shed tears for a life. Even though I desperately wanted to verify those tears, desperately wanted to hear him say he cared, I suppressed all my emotions, remained silent, and turned to leave the study.

Is it really just a simple gamble? Or has something touched a soft spot in my heart?

It was Xiaoyu's insistence that made me start to doubt myself. But more importantly, when he struggled to say those words, I could clearly see the pain in every inch of his eyes, and looking at them was especially painful. During the three days he locked himself in his study without sleep or food, he stared at the same document for three whole days. He was struggling, and when he painfully made the decision to hand over the porcelain bottle, every trace of deliberate indifference in his eyes said... he really cared.

Chapter Two: Fortune and Misfortune

Fifth Brother had a son, though born to a concubine, he was still the first male heir in the Prince's mansion. Overjoyed, Fifth Brother threw a banquet to entertain the guests. It was well-known that Fifth Brother doted on his wife and child, and this elaborate celebration certainly showed his affection. While the men drank and practiced martial arts outside, the female guests remained in the west wing, seated at small round tables according to their status, chatting, drinking tea, and enjoying snacks—a lively scene indeed. I followed the others to my seat, glancing around out of the corner of my eye. I noticed Xiaoyu sitting alone at the corner table, seemingly isolated by the other favored concubines, without even a maidservant around her.

I hurriedly stood up, but before I could take a step, my fourth sister-in-law quietly pulled me back, asking, "Where are you going?"

As I hesitated, Fifth Sister-in-law pulled me to her side, smiling obsequiously, "How did you manage to change your face back then? You fooled us all. Teach us a trick tomorrow, so we won't have to worry about getting old."

I was somewhat annoyed by the veiled barbs in my fifth sister-in-law's words, but fortunately, my fourth sister-in-law covered for me, saying, "Fifth sister-in-law, look at what you're saying. When it comes to the art of preserving youth, who can compare to you?"

Fifth Sister-in-law smiled sweetly, no longer paying attention to me, and turned her head to talk to Ninth Sister-in-law about something. Fourth Sister-in-law pulled me out of the house, looking at me worriedly, "Your restoration of your identity has already caused a lot of gossip, and now you can't cause any more trouble."

I understood what Fourth Sister-in-law meant, so I lowered my head and remained silent. Fourth Sister-in-law smiled knowingly, "Go to the side courtyard. I'll have someone send that girl back to the courtyard to wait for you."

The maid who led me to see Xiaoyu had no expression on her face, but her eyes held a strange look. Xiaoyu lived alone in a small courtyard in the northeast corner of the house; the courtyard wasn't large, but it was very quiet. As soon as I entered, a maid named An'an came to greet me. Just by looking at her expression, I knew she was an honest and dutiful girl, which put me at ease a little.

I lifted the curtain to the inner room and saw Xiaoyu leaning against the bed, engrossed in a book. After so many days apart, I didn't know what expression to make. She looked up at me by the door, a smile curving her lips. "I missed you so much, it feels like a lifetime ago."

"You brat, you really know how to find peace and quiet." I looked her over; although she looked a little haggard, she seemed to be in good spirits.

I stopped smiling, but she continued, "The imperial physician said I need to rest and recuperate. But you, why aren't you watching over Seventh Master?"

"Who is he?" I smirked and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I can't protect him."

Xiaoyu rested her chin on my shoulder, chuckling softly. "Then why didn't you divorce him?"

"I'm waiting for him to divorce me!" I took off my shoes and squeezed in next to her. For a moment, it felt like I was back in the leisurely days of sharing a bed in the inner palace of Chaoyang. "Can we not talk about him? I'll just set up a bed here and stay. Is that alright?"

Xiaoyu's eyes darkened as she looked at me. After a long while, she gently took my hand. "I know everything. I support you no matter what you've done."

“But I’ve also harmed many people and incurred a lot of hatred.” I turned to look at Xiaoyu. “Fourth Master is… yes. Seventh Master doesn’t say it, but I understand in my heart. He just can’t bear to say it to me.”

Xiaoyu gently stroked my temples. "But I do know people who admire you. Take Fifth Master, for example. He told me you are an extraordinary woman. He said you endure humiliation and hardship, and you plan every step carefully. He admires you very much."

I could only manage a quick laugh. "Listen to you. He's only been here a short time and you're already saying nice things about him?!"

"Look at what you're saying, to be honest, I hardly ever see Fifth Master." Xiaoyu quickly picked up where I left off, and suddenly blurted out, "Your Fifth Sister-in-law came once, we exchanged a few fake smiles and then didn't see each other again. But their family certainly didn't skimp on my food and clothing."

I was silent for a moment, then reached out and touched her protruding belly. "How big is it?"

"Just over two more months." Xiaoyu placed her hand on mine and smiled gently. "Then he'll be able to see you."

I was stunned, and my heart skipped a beat. Could Xiaoyu really welcome this child safely?

"Are you really sure?" I asked instinctively.

"I'd rather die than give up." Xiaoyu turned her head, her face resolute.

"Xiaoyu," I patted her shoulder and said slowly, "I understand."

This is Xiaoyu, her face seemingly indifferent, yet her heart aches. She doesn't care how the people in this mansion treat her, nor does she care about any official status; she only wants to give birth to Yi'er's child. But how? I feel as if the sky above this narrow courtyard wall is about to press down at any moment.

Seeing that I didn't say anything, Xiaoyu gently put her arm around me and said, "You're pregnant now, you should think more about yourself." As she spoke, she pointed to the window and said, "Look, someone is waiting for you."

Lu Li stood by the window, gazing thoughtfully at the opposite side. I walked out of the house, and he slowly approached.

Even from three steps away, I noticed the gloom on his face. I knew he was angry, so I refused to come any closer and deliberately kept a three-step distance.

He also stopped in his tracks, his voice calm, "As you wished, the Pang family has been raided. Do you still want to protect Yuan Xin Nuo?"

"If possible," I slowly raised my head, "I would certainly like to."

Lu Li remained silent. We stood there, staring at each other for a long time. I hoped he would speak, like before, and criticize me from head to toe, right or wrong. Instead, he was so silent, leaving me unable to discern how much blame or helplessness he felt. I hadn't expected his understanding, yet strange thoughts kept creeping into my mind at inopportune moments. I couldn't see my own expression; I only knew that the man standing opposite me was calm, waiting for me to crumble.

I followed Lu Li back to the banquet in the front courtyard. Fifth Master was still all smiles, toasting and drinking. Lu Li turned to me and said, "I'll go and offer Fifth Brother a toast, then we'll head back to the manor."

I nodded and quickly stepped aside. It seemed like this toast had been going on for a while. My brothers and I were all gathered around the table, chatting and laughing. I stopped waiting foolishly and went to the women's area. I wanted to thank her a few words about Xiaoyu, but I didn't see Fifth Sister-in-law. I only heard some maids say that Fifth Sister-in-law had gone to the backyard with several imperial physicians and nannies. I didn't think much of it and found a place to sit down and wait for Lu Li.

As dusk approached, the princes began to disperse. Suddenly, two or three maids burst into the banquet. The head maid hurriedly went to the Fifth Prince and said something. The Fifth Prince's expression changed abruptly, and the wine cup in his hand shattered at his feet with a loud crash. The crisp sound struck my heart, and I unconsciously sat up abruptly, feeling increasingly uneasy.

Fifth Master hurried through the corridor towards the back courtyard. I was standing at the second gate. He was led by a nanny as he walked briskly past me. I wanted to tug at his sleeve, but then felt it would be presumptuous and didn't dare to raise my hand, letting him pass by. He, on the other hand, took a few steps, then suddenly stiffened, turned around to look at me, and our eyes met. He pursed his lips tightly, his brows furrowed. A nanny behind him urged him on, but Fifth Master ultimately couldn't say what he wanted to say and turned to leave.

I stood there, stunned, feeling that Fifth Master's gaze was strange and his expression was eerie. I had only one thought in my mind: to follow him and find out what was going on. Suddenly, a hand stopped me from behind. I turned around and stared blankly at Lu Li, who was pulling me. "Let me follow."

"Return to the manor!" He spat out these two words with unusual firmness, leaving me almost no room for argument.

"I'm not going back. I suddenly feel very uneasy," I insisted. "I need to see Xiaoyu."

"Not today," Lu Li said, frowning, leaving no room for argument.

I didn't say anything, but pried his hands off. Lu Li didn't utter a sound either. With a livid face, he picked me up and strode out of the outer courtyard.

The carriage was waiting outside the mansion. Lu Li carried me into the carriage, and I lifted the curtain, my eyes still fixed on the interior. Just as Xiao Si cracked the whip, several servants from the Fifth Master's mansion carried out a woman's corpse at breakneck speed. The figure seemed familiar, but I couldn't place it. Seeing the mangled flesh, I dared not look any longer. Lu Li yanked down the curtain, looking at me angrily, "Can't you just relax for a moment?"

"Peace of mind? That's hard to say." I chuckled self-deprecatingly. The carriage had already left Fifth Master's mansion. As I laughed, I suddenly froze, and only two words slipped out unconsciously, "Peace of mind!"

Yes! That mangled body just now was none other than An'an, whom I had met once in Xiaoyu's courtyard!

Lu Li gritted his teeth and ordered Xiao Si to return straight to the manor without stopping. I grabbed Lu Li, shaking my head, too anxious to speak, my eyes filled with tears. My intuition was right, it really was Xiao Yu, something had happened to Xiao Yu! An An is dead, what will happen to Xiao Yu?!

The carriage gradually came to a stop. I had no desire to get off, and just held onto Lu Li's sleeve. His eyes showed even more shock and pain. He reached out and stroked my temple, and I quickly dodged. Xiao Yu had done the same thing not long ago.

"Xiaoyu's child... is probably gone."

The voice was soft, yet it struck my heart directly, making my heart skip a beat. It took me a while to come back to my senses. I knew I couldn't collapse. If I couldn't hold on, what would happen to Xiaoyu? Gradually calming down, I lifted the curtain and instructed Liushang, who was waiting outside the mansion, "Go, go prepare some nourishing food to replenish qi and blood. Buy as much as you can and send it all to Fifth Master's mansion."

Her eyes felt sore, she wanted to cry but nothing came out. She followed Lu Li all the way, around the second gate, then suddenly stopped, turned around and looked at Si Liang, "Liang'er, hold the lamp for me, I want to go to the ancestral hall."

Lu Li paused, turned around and looked at me. In the darkness, I couldn't see anything clearly.

Staring blankly at the empty walls of the ancestral hall, I realized that since my brothers' memorial tablets were moved back to Huainan, there was nothing left here. I still occasionally come here to sit and think about the past. Aunt, I helped the Rong family rise again, but it seems I've lost everything. Aunt, must this position truly be so lonely and isolated?

Chapter 3 of the main text: Taking Action

I stared blankly as the sunlight streamed in through the window, the sun rising, and it had been all night. I wasn't sleepy or tired; I just felt completely numb.

The door opened quietly, and Siliang walked in silently. I looked at her blankly, feeling a little dizzy.

“Aunt, you’ve been here all night.” Her voice was weak, as if she was afraid of startling me. “The three nannies who are with Aunt Xiaoyu have been waiting here since early this morning to apologize.”

I nodded and, supported by her, slowly walked towards the door. I saw Lu Li standing in the opposite corridor, looking in my direction. I was at a loss. Liu Shang, who came out from the main courtyard, sighed, "Master waited for you in the corridor all night." When I looked at him again, Lu Li had already left and disappeared from sight.

Inside the main room, three nannies knelt trembling on the ground. All three of them were handpicked by me and sent to Fifth Master's residence to serve Xiaoyu. But when it came down to it, they were no match for a mere maid in Fifth Master's household.

"We've been safe and sound for so long, and the three of us are quite relieved. We thought the manor wouldn't do anything to Madam Hua. Plus, Fifth Master usually takes good care of Madam's daily life, so no one expected..." The head nanny kept explaining.

I rubbed my forehead and said calmly, "According to what you said, all three of you were given tasks by Fifth Sister-in-law yesterday. Except for An'an, none of you were with Xiaoyu. By the time you returned, everything had already happened. What excuse did Fifth Sister-in-law use?"

"The Princess insisted that Madam Hua's health was abnormal and that the fetus was stillborn, so she forcibly administered medication... claiming it was a decision made to save Madam Hua's life. When we went in, the child was already dead, but we could tell it was a boy. When we saw An'an being carried out, the three of us understood that it was far more complicated than the Princess claimed. We three are always by Madam's side, so we naturally know about her health. But that day, the Princess insisted on holding such a large banquet, knowing that the household was not well-staffed, yet she wouldn't ask for help from the palace. We couldn't refuse, so we had no choice but to go and help." Granny Gu wiped away her tears as she spoke. "It's pitiful for An'an. She was always honest and served Madam the most diligently. The Princess only said that she hadn't served her well enough, and she was beaten to death like that. It was a complete injustice to her."

I couldn't bear to listen any longer and quickly waved them away. I knew in my heart that the one who was suffering the most was Xiaoyu, who had watched her own child being beaten by the cruel imperial physician and watched the maid who served her every day being beaten to death.

When I saw Xiaoyu, her face was deathly pale. When she heard me come in, she turned to look at me, her expression tired but calm. I went over and took her hand, and we looked at each other for a long time.

"Xiaoyu..." I managed to speak, but couldn't utter a single word. I felt that all the words I had prepared were meaningless. If it were me, I wouldn't have listened either. She struggled to get up, and I quickly supported half of her body. She leaned against me, and I held her tightly with both hands, feeling that she was covered in cold sweat.

Although I know I shouldn't ask this now, I simply can't control myself. "Xiaoyu, say just one word. Even just one word. I'll get it back for you. I will never forgive you. Never!"

"Zhao'er..." After a long while, Xiaoyu finally spoke. Her hoarse voice made me want to cry. "I'm fine. It just hurts. It hurts so much I don't know what to do. I don't even know where it hurts anymore..."

I helped her lie down and covered her with a blanket. She held my hand and closed her eyes. Her voice was very weak. "Don't go. Don't make a scene. Really. I don't blame them. Just stay with me quietly, and I'll get better. Don't pressure Fifth Master. He doesn't know anything. Please don't cause any more trouble for me. You can't afford to. It's really not worth it. No matter how much you struggle, you can't come back."

As she spoke, her breathing gradually calmed. After a restless night, she finally succumbed to exhaustion and fell into a deep sleep. I didn't know what to think. I gently released her hand, carefully placed her back in the blankets, instructed the maids to look after her, and quietly walked out of the courtyard.

I know I can never get revenge for her in my lifetime. So what else can I do for her? I just hope she can live a good life.

I didn't rush to leave Fifth Master's residence. I just took a stroll around and stopped in front of Fifth Sister-in-law's room. Without being summoned, and ignoring the maids' attempts to stop me, I lifted the curtain and stepped inside. Fifth Sister-in-law was sitting at the table drinking tea. She was indeed in a good mood; even so early in the morning, she had the interest to enjoy tea.

"Oh, what a distinguished guest!" Fifth Sister-in-law smiled and hurriedly got up to greet me.

"I came from the other courtyard and stopped by to pay my respects to my sister-in-law." I met her insincerity with a fawning smile, found a chair next to her, and sat down without any politeness. "I heard that our Xiaoyu was saved by my sister-in-law. A stillborn child can be fatal to its mother. It was Fifth Sister-in-law who was decisive and saved the girl without hesitation."

Fifth Sister-in-law looked at me, her smile a little stiff, but she tried her best to maintain it. "Look at what you're saying. She's one of my people, practically a sister to me. From the moment she entered the household, we've all taken her health very seriously. We know she's a favorite of Seventh Master's household, so how could we dare to neglect her? Who knew that the more careful we were, the more mistakes we made? If it weren't for Physician Jia's timely discovery, who knows what would have happened if it had been delayed any longer?"

I actually admire her ability to tell a string of lies without finding any flaws, so my smile widened. "Who says otherwise? I don't even know how to thank you!"

"We're all family, no need to thank me."

"Yes, we're all family. That's what I said when my third sister-in-law came to ask me for help." I smiled, looking completely unconcerned.